# Need To Vent Abit...



## RowdyKidz (Apr 2, 2009)

Okay, so I have 29 Pygmies that are all my pets/babies that I use as my 4-H animals projects. And I keep them all at my grandparents out in the country since my parents and I technically live in town...

And well, last Christmas my Grandad was diagnosed with stage four brain, liver, lung, and lymphnode cancers. Fast growing and slow growing. Easy to treat, hard to treat. He was given only one year to live.
This past summer he was diagnosed cancer free (chemo and radiation having killed all the cancer in the brain and only leaving two spots, one on the lung and the other on a lymphnode).

This fall he started getting bad and had gotten a large tumor on the back on his brain. Leaving him (with several incidents) not in the right frame of mind. He's been slowly deteriorating since then and has been admitted the hospital three times.

This week he's mentioned a few times that he feels his time is coming, which kills me. My grandfather and I have had the most amazing bond through everything we've gone through even though I haven't had many years with him (I'm only 14).

The goats were always his and I hobby. Him and I would always buy goats and he'd do chores for me when he had been healthy. Now my mom drives me out there twice a day to do them, which is an inconvience.

My mom and I both seem to think that when my grandad passed my mom's sister will make my grandmother sell the farm and move to town because my grandmother has signs of Alezimers/demencha so she's not thinking or in the right frame of mind either.

We had talked about buying a piece of land to put up a small barn, but with me going to college in a few years, the cost is out of the question. 

So now I either have to sell my all my goats or see if any of my 4-H friends can take a few in. My best friend (who also has pygmies) lives across the road from my grandparents and already told me I'm more than welcome to put some of my goats over there. And I believe my mentor who I bought Pygmies from might let me have a few at her place. And my other friend and her brother (my boyfriend) think they may be able to take a few in as well. I feel VERY lucky to have them in my life, so willing to help me when I need it.

But it just kills me having to sell some. I'd like to keep at least my 2xGCH buck and my original goats as well as my Desert doe and my bottle girl. It's hard deciding who stays and who goes when I'd like to keep them all. :sigh:  


Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it out. I'm feeling really stressed and depressed right now. I really don't want to have to cross this bridge... I wish I could keep them all... Maybe, just maybe, Grammie'll refuse to sell the farm. I can only hope. ray: ray: ray: But either way, I'm not ready to loose my Grandad yet. :tears:


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## TinyHoovesRanch (Jan 16, 2010)

Praying for you girl!

It always is hard when someone you love is sick  I know, My grandma passed away last may from cancer. I HATE cancer!

I sounds like you have some people that really want to help you, but it also sounds like you may need to sell some, thats going to be really hard but just remember that they can go to good homes and maybe you can work something out with the new owners, like buying babies from them or even just leasing them out until you have more space for them.

Im so sorry about you Grandad, ive been praying like crazy for him to be ok, I really hope you DONT lose him, I would hate for you to go through that, It was really hard on me when I lost my grandma, I cant imagine someone going through the same feelings.

Just remember Tara, I will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what time, you can always talk to me


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## RunAround (Feb 17, 2008)

I can only imagine the stress and grief you must be going through! I will pray something wonderful comes up so you can keep your goaties!!! ray: :hug: :grouphug:


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## Bellafire Farm (Jan 5, 2010)

Prayers for you and your family...

My father-in-law had almost all the exact same cancers as you described for your grampa. I can very much understand how difficult it is... I'm so sorry you have to go through such a very tough time. We're here for you... Trust in friends & family...don't be afraid to lean on someone when you need to. :hug:


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## cdtrum (Aug 25, 2008)

:hug:


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## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

:hug: to you Tara, it's easy enough to tell you that everything will turn out fine, but please know that my prayers are with you and that I hope everything turns out for the better


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

praying your grandfather rebounds and does make it longer and that the decisions about your herd can wait


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Here is a big... :hug: and prayers sent your way....May God bless.... ray:


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## creekbottomgoats (Dec 3, 2009)

:hug: 

My thoughts are with you and your family.


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## RowdyKidz (Apr 2, 2009)

Thank you all for the hugs... :hug: Means alot and is helping me get through everything now.
On top of it my parents are going through a pretty bad divorce right now. :sigh: 

I guess it's true when everything bad happens at once. :hair: :hair: 

Just trying to focus on school and the goats and **not** worry about the future. Just live in the moment and laugh it off.


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## WalnutGroveFarm (Sep 27, 2008)

Im so sorry for all you are going through. May God give you the strength to stand strong. May peace enter and stay with you.


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## lissablack (Nov 30, 2009)

O honey, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Let your friends help you take care of your goats. Pick the ones that matter the most to you, and send them to the places you trust the most. Save as much as you can, and don't wait. Sell the rest to the best homes you can. Don't make it about money, but about good homes. Pygmies are so pets.

I am old, and I am watching my really old mother go through hell. It would be so much better for her if she was gone. If you start to find ways to take care of your goats that don't depend on your grandfather it will be easier for him. If he knows you won't lose everything you have built together it will be easier for him. Please hug him and your grandma for an aging person on the web. And give them all the love you can, much later when you are older you will really be glad you did. Don't let him feel guilty because he is letting you down. Lift that off him.

And don't let up on doing well in school.

I'm so sorry your parents aren't okay on top of this. I am shedding tears for you and your family, but it will be better for you after awhile. It may take a long time, but it will. I promise.

Jan


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. At least there are places for your goats should it ever come to that. I am sorry your parents are getting divorced. I was almost 16 when my parents got divorced and it was very very hard. Nothing easy about seeing the two people that mean the most to you separating and fussing over all the details.

Keep your head up in school, you'll never regret it  If there is one thing I could do over again it would be to finish school. My parents divorce, the fact I disliked the school I went to <NEVER will my kids attend IPS schools in Indianapolis BLEH!>, it all was very stressful and I wanted to do home schooling, but it didn't work out either <kinda hard to do work if they place doesn't send it!>.

Sometimes life just........sucks. But God also gave us the ability to overcome. No matter what happens, I have faith that you will be fine, and please if you ever need a shoulder, you know you can count on us


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## Dreamchaser (Oct 30, 2008)

Oh man. I am so sorry. I really feel your pain, and the panic that you must be feeling. I don't even know what to say.


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## farmgirl42 (Jan 3, 2010)

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. I can't imagine having it all happen at once. I'm definitely praying for you and your family, and hoping that your Grandpa rallies. ray: Blessings to you.

I'm clear over on the southeast side of Ohio, but if you need a place for a couple more of your goaties to live for a while, PM me and we'll work something out.


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## Oat Bucket Farm (Dec 14, 2009)

Oh hun, I am so sorry you are going through this :hug:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

> Thank you all for the hugs... :hug: Means alot and is helping me get through everything now.


 Your welcome...prayers still coming your way.... :hug: ray:


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