# Overreacting or just overwhelmed?



## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

We are up in numbers and I'm low on energy :sigh: Yes I did this to myself and trying to fix it.I'm a stay at home mom of 4 and 6 months pregnant with my 5th. Homeschooling my 12,9 and 5 year old.I babysit 3 kids under 4yrs old 3-4 days out of the week for 10hrs a day.We have 11 goats...5 I'm milking and 5 kids..1 doe due to freshen today.We also have over 50 chickens,3 cats (one is due to have kittens any day) and a LGD. I'm completly exchausted due to the fact my pregnancy is kicking my butt.I'm carrying all in the front which makes it difficult and every part of my body hurts right now.I'm emotional and short fused. My children help some with the chores but my husband doesn't..he does have a full time job and I guess I shouldn't complain.I have a garden that needs started but physicly can't do it on my own and nobody to help me.
Am I overreacting or do I allow myself to except I'm overwhelmed and overworked? Just needing to vent my frustrations and really wish I could get an extra set of hands to help me right now


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## freedomstarfarm (Mar 25, 2011)

Well vent away! You have a TON on your plate! :shocked: 
Remember to stop from time to time and just watch the kids or animals for a minute and enjoy. 
We are here for you! WIsh I was closer I would come and give you a hug but this will have to do. :hug:


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## Randi (Apr 22, 2011)

JessaLynn, if you weren't collapsing about now, I would wonder why! If I could reach you I would be there in an instant. But since you are about 1100miles from here......Here are a couple suggestions. Advertise for help trading milk for pay. Call around to local rescue groups, 4H, ect and ask for volunteers. Offer agratours with milking as part of the experience. And come here and vent often. Don't forget a bubble bath with a book. Let the does so some of your milking. Remember to smile at least once every day. You are loved. :hug:


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## firelight27 (Apr 25, 2009)

Its OK to feel overwhelmed. Everyone with a full plate feels overwhelmed now and then. It just means your life is full of activity. Hang in there, breathe, and make sure to make some "me time" for yourself to just relax and wind down.


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## freedomstarfarm (Mar 25, 2011)

The idea of asking 4H is a great one since the kids need the experience. My niece is in high school; a vetch school for animal science. She has to intern 160 hours between now and her graduation in 2012. Maybe check your local high schools and see if they have programs like this with kids that need nonpaying animal job.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

You have alot on your plate.... Is there any way... to cut back on babysitting or stop it completly? That is way to much for you and you do need some rest....

You Husband should be helping you some ....you have full time work " Plus".. it sounds like to me....you have more work load than your hubby.... he helped to create this beautiful life within you...and needs to help out as well...it takes 2 to tango my dear.... :wink: To me... you have a legitimate beef ...and are indeed overwhelmed and need some relief and help...even if you can get a friend to help you out here and there... my heart goes out to you... :hug:


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## nubians2 (Feb 20, 2011)

I think those are great suggestions but I would also consider asking your older ones to help. Perhaps they could help with some of the housework, milking or even with feedings. I know that it is difficult sometimes to admit that you aren't able to do it all by yourself (been there, done that) but you really have alot on your hands. I think at that age you could explain to them you are feeling very overwhelmed and if they would each take on even one thing a day it would help so much. Even if it isn't a huge chore getting some help is better than none. If your husband sees the kids helping maybe he will jump in too.


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## bleatinghearts (Feb 26, 2010)

My mouth is still hanging open! You sound like wonder woman to me! Take a second to remind yourself that you do an amazing amount every day and you should really be proud!


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## Saanens N Alpines (Oct 20, 2010)

Cut something out befpre you kill yourself! I had to learn to do that. It's hard, too, but not as hard as being over taxed day in and day out. If you can't do a garden on your own and hubby can't or won't help, then that will have to go. Cut back on goats and daycare. Ask for help from hubby and kids and enjoy your new baby!


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## lissablack (Nov 30, 2009)

You must be exhausted! Some of the suggestions are great. Let the (goat) kids stay with moms and help milk if you can. If the ones you have already are too old, let the new set stay with mom longer before you separate them. Forget the garden. And get some help from the older kids, they are plenty old enough to be helping you. They should be able to take care of the chickens and collect the eggs, and the oldest at least ought to be old enough to milk for you. Being superwoman will just knock you out, and it might be harder on the new baby. Only do the things you really need to do, and vent often. 

Jan


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## Mon Reve Farm (Jun 25, 2010)

Look at your daily activities and make a chores list... Since the kids are home schooled work some items into their schedules. A 12 and 9 year old should be helping with many activities. And there must be things the 5 year old can do.

I agree you have a full plate! You have to find some balance or cut back until after the baby is born and a few months old.

Sending you big hugs! :hug:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Thank you everyone..tears flooding my eyes right now :grouphug: My older two do help with the heavy lifting when I ask and have daily chores (dishes,laundry,trash ect).9 year old does most things with the chickens (they are his 4H project after all) He's taking 5 projects this year one being the chickens.Can't ask them to milk as we sell shares and offer the milk to the public but I'm trying to save up for a milking machine and then they could do that duty without to much concern of the milk being contaminated.As far as babysitting..I have cut back.I use to do it 5 days a week 10hrs a day and sometimes weekends.Slowly have made adjustments to accomidate the income loss.I told them no mondays or fridays but to my surprise they still call and want me to watch their kids and it makes me mad.There are tons of sitters in our town. I have difficult parents who work more then they spend time with their kids cus it's more important to them I guess.They get off at 4:30 but don't pick them up till 6:30-7. I have even told them 6 no later but it doesn't matter they are still late.They do it on purpose so they don't have to feed them dinner knowing we eat at 6 is the way I see it.Can you see my frustration?? 

I am also trying to sell 2 of our does with their kids hoping less will help me. I'm dealing with one family that wanted a milking doe a month ago and now they are being tire kickers and it's frustrating :veryangry: New to goats and I have given them ALOT of info and time to prepare.Told them after the one freshens I would allow them to go but wanted to take care of the major stuff like disbudding.Well I get a call yesterday and she asks me to keep them a month cus she's not ready yet still and she doesn't want the buckling.Ummm package deal is what I told her cus he still will need momma to nurse and I'm NOT bottle feeding.Told her she can sell him after he's weaned.She keeps heehawing around about things.It's driving me insane so I am offering her and kids for sale regardless.I shouldn't have to wait around for her to decide what she wants.She even asked me is it worth it to have goats..well YEAH..but it's not for everyone and if your not going to commit then no she shouldn't get them.I love these goats and not going to sell them to just anyone.I was trying to help this family out and get them started and then it gets turned into this. Lesson learned..next time I'm asking for a deposit.
I'm getting low on 3rd cutting alfalfa because I calculated wrong and going to have to resort in buying 1st cut which my goats waist SOOO much it's pointless to feed it to them.My fault cus I spoil them with the good stuff all the time :sigh: Dummy me.I wish my husband would help me more but he's just as spoiled cus I have always managed to take care of things and I feel like a nag when I need help.I have asked him for help and he will do it a few days and then stop. :hair: I guess I feel strange to ask for help from friends and anyone.I have always done things on my own and worked twice as hard as most people but not getting any younger and it's getting more difficult.I do realize I have to ask for help or I'm gonna snap and break! :GAAH: I did ask my cousins if they would help start my garden and would trade them for fresh milk and eggs which they agreed.There goes that strange feeling of someone doing things for me though  It's embarressing to have a perfectly healthy husband who is more then capable but to dang lazy to lend a hand or take any interest! Just wants to get the benefits of it all.I feel like the little red hen!! :veryangry: :angry: Thank you all for listening to me blabber.Ready for my break and don't even feel worthy of sitting here typing when I have a list a mile long to do.I got to go check on my doe now..the one that's due today.Haven't even started getting things ready for her


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

Im one of 5 - mom mom did a lot of what you are doing and as a child in the family I was expected to pull my weight (still am). I started milking at 12 years old and my brother took care of the chickens starting at 7 or 8. 

I get overwhelmed and my life isn't that hectic. I've learned that "me time" is super important. I am so much more effective at all I do when I take the time to focus on me and recharge. 

Right now im sitting on the grass listening to the pond waterfall soaking up the sun. If I don't do this at least once a week (me time that is) I literally have a melt down emotionally. 

You can only be effective if you take care of yourself first. And beings you have kids to help out - don't try to do it all on your own


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

If I was you I would be telling people if they pick up after 6pm then I am charging a meal charge of 20.00 per kid. Its only fair and only right. They do it in private schools and would at a daycare as well. If my friend doesnt pick up her kids on time they charge her 1.00 per minute for each kid (she has 3) so it would add up quickly. Certainly incentive to pick up your kid on time  

So thats what I would be doing. 

Your husband sees coming home as his "me time" he doesnt realize you dont get any. So make me time for yourself. You have to and honestly if you dont get the laundry done today -- it will still be there tomorrow and you will have more energy to do it because you took the time to relax. 

As to the buyer --- When I get to that point I tell them "I cant hold this doe anylonger without a deposit." Dont feel bad about it! Its BUSINESS and they are pulling you around and you are the one in control -- TAKE control. If they dont want the package deal then they dont get the package deal. The deal is the deal and thats all they get. You have to be firm and i know its hard. But its for the better and if you keep giving in they will walk all over you forever (calling you for stupid stuff in the middle of the day and emailing asking rediculous questions or help- been there)


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Aww...You are very welcome.... :hug:



> As far as babysitting..I have cut back.I use to do it 5 days a week 10hrs a day and sometimes weekends.Slowly have made adjustments to accomidate the income loss.I told them no mondays or fridays but to my surprise they still call and want me to watch their kids and it makes me mad.


 I would tell them ...sorry.... I said no mondays and fridays....remind them.... it is too much on you with your pregnancy.... don't give in to them... 
I hope you have charged them extra overtime for being late...sorry... I find that being a bit rude of them ..to not respect you ...with your wishes.... Tell them No....it is either my way or the highway.... maybe it is better said then done ...but ...yeah... I see your frustration for sure....  :hug:



> Well I get a call yesterday and she asks me to keep them a month cus she's not ready yet still and she doesn't want the buckling.Ummm package deal is what I told her cus he still will need momma to nurse and I'm NOT bottle feeding.


If it where me... I'd get another buyer...if she can't go by the beginning deal of... a package deal...I wouldn't put up wit it ...if their is no deposit... it isn't being held and promised to them.. in my opinion.....

I guess it is just me...it is my way or no way....you can't let everyone over rule you sweety....you have to be strong and put your foot down....

You are not a dummy ...hey ..when you need help...you need help and being pregnant is a great excuse...it alone ...can take alot out of you.... Don't ever feel bad about asking for help.... sometimes we need it.....

It isn't healthy for you or the baby....to be so stressed out...and over working yourself.... help is something.. that people do ...for one another....when they care and love you.... Take a step back and relax..... let others help you.... make time..take time for you....

If you reward the ones that help out...hey.. that is a great way to go....

Sorry your DH isn't very helpful ...so unfair.... 

Praying that all will be OK....and you get the relief you so desperately need.. ray: :hug:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Thanks Stacey and Pam.God answered my prayers.A friend called me alittle bit ago and asked how I was and if I needed help just need to call her and she'll be over.She's a real friend and I'm so thankful for that.THEN one of our families that buys milk from us was thinking about just buying the doe and 2 kids mentioned above but boarding them here because they don't have a barn but would do the work to care for it.Milk her twice a day and help clean the barn out ect. I would deffinitly agree to that and we are going to work things out and I'm going to have them come out so they can practice milking to make sure it's what they want to do.It would help a great deal for me.Not sure if it would be such a deal for them only because they would have to drive out here everyday and supply their own feed and hay.I don't know.Yet to be discussed.
I agree about the babysitting.I have watched these kids since they were born and it will be 4 years in July.They have run all over me and I'm to the point where I am not doing it anymore and telling them I'm not babysitting for them any longer.I have had enough.


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

now there you go! Wonderful that your friend called like that :hug: 

Hopefully the doe arrangement goes well.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

> Thanks Stacey and Pam


 Your welcome.... :hug:

see that... God does answer prayers.... and.. you know who your true friends are in the time of need.....keep the faith.... :hug: ray:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Now if I could just get my husband to lend a hand...he got mad tonight cus I didn't make dinner and it was going on 7.He stormed off and bought fried chicken and pouted like a big baby..men I swear sheesh.We have communication problems sometimes.Well I was in the barn with my kids cleaning out one of the stalls to prepare for babies and washing out buckets and what not.I lost track of time is all.My kids even ask me why doesn't daddy help.Umm good question.They don't understand that their dad came from a family where the women did all the work and the men just work and come home.I had to teach my husband how to do the dishes when we first got married.His mom had a fit I "made" him do that. UGH..pllleeeassse!! :roll: Don't mean to complain cus that's what I'm starting to do.Not good and don't want to bad mouth my husband.He is a good man just one of his faults is all.I got mine to.I'm a meanie!


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

Well raise your boys right so they dont annoy their wives when older


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## Robynlynn (Jan 18, 2011)

I am sending prayers your way! ray: 
You are a good person and people can see that and are taking advantage of you. It's hard not to have some empathy for kids of parents who act the way these parents are acting. Stacy is right you are going to have to set down some ground rules and money talks!
I understand on the hubby thing. I have spoiled mine as well. Men sometimes have a hard time realizing they need to help out especially when they are the bread winner~it seems to be in thier nature to be taken care of on the home front...my humble experience and opinion.
You are gonna have to cut some things out or you are going to end up on bedrest and then what will they all do??
Your a stong woman or you couldn't do what you already are! I am so amazed!
Time to make a few changes for the good of all You can do it!
You vent anytime! We all need to do so!
:hug:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

I did ask him if I'm doing enough for him and he did appoligise for getting upset cus I didn't have supper ready when he wanted. Seems stupid to fight over petty things.We don't argue to much and just keep to ourselves.Somewhat of the problem we have.I grew up in an abusive home and it's not easy for me to express my feelings because I don't want my kids to see what I saw growing up or hear their parents fight (well disagree not fight) I think that's why I'm so afraid to speak up to people is I lack confidence in myself. I'm getting better about it just taken me a very long time to speak up. I do appreciate each and everyone of you helping me threw my crisis.Life's a rollercoaster. My goats are my therapy and it's something I enjoy and it's nice to share that passion with all of you here.They do bring me alot of work and alot of headache at times but it's like that with everything..even my children who I adore


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

I am glad.. you have a good husband...being abused can take alot out of your self esteem....it wasn't your fault ...as to why you where beat... so never.. feel it was...ever...no one should be hit ...no matter how mad they get... :hug: 

Hold your head up high......when you feel down ..and pray.... sounds like you actually have a decent life now.....so be proud girl.... abuse is in the past so....get that confidence and don't let anyone walk all over you...be strong.... I have faith in you that you can do it... :hug: ray:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Thank you Pam :hug: It's been a long hard road to get where I have but my children are my inspiration and God has given me so much to be thankful for and I live for him today yesterday and tomorrow.Nobody can take away what I have worked so hard to get and not just material things.I'm living my childhood dream (children and a loving husband and I have always wanted a farm) and I can't even express that feeling cus it's more then I ever imagined. When things were bad growing up I took comfort in animals.They have shown me love and I have shown them in return and compassion.Even though I felt alone growing up..I wasn't..God was there every moment holding my hand.My turn to give back and though times get tough like these somehow I get threw it with his mercy and strength.Sends me friends like all of you with words of comfort to help guide me threw it. I have to remember that simple things in life are what matters and God shall supply.I'm at that point in my life where it's starting to make sense and I've been doing it all wrong to overload myself. I figured if my ancestors did it way back then..why am I complaining? Then guilt sets in cus we have it so much easier now a days.I just have the problem of making my husband realize all of this and it's alot harder when you don't have your spouses support.He doesn't have the understanding of how fortunete we are and just the little things like being able to pay your bills is a big deal to me but to him if he doesn't have extra money in his pocket or go on a vacation once a year.. the world is gonna end and he gets depressed.I grew up poor,homeless living in a tent at times,no food and basicly fended for myself and to have what I have now (WE ARE RICH!!) well to me anyhow :laugh: My husband never had that problem and was well taken care of.So it's a big difference and how we view the world.I think I hold it together pretty well and I do take pride in all I do and makes me stronger the more challenges that gets thrown my way.This to shall pass ray:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

I hear ya....you have been through alot and it seemed to have definitely made you a better person because of it..... I commend you for holding up ...in all your past turmoil..... it didn't sound easy.... :hug: Glad things are good for you now.... :hi5:  I am so glad to hear that....and I am very happy for you...that finally... you will get the extra help you need....and be able to rest more.... :leap: We are here to help people and animals her on TGS ....it is a blessing and makes us feel really good about making someone like you... feel better and make your life a little better ....as we do care ..... :grouphug: :thumb: ray:


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## RowdyKidz (Apr 2, 2009)

Jessica, I am literally right down the road and around the corner and if you need anything I will help you! Just say the word! I've never milked a goat and I think it'd be fun to try  LOL
But seriously, if you need anything just holler


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

> Jessica, I am literally right down the road and around the corner and if you need anything I will help you! Just say the word! I've never milked a goat and I think it'd be fun to try  LOL
> But seriously, if you need anything just holler


 You are so sweet.....may God bless you.... ray: :hug: :thumb:


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## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

My thots exactly Pam... Tara you are one in a million :hug: :hug:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

> My thots exactly Pam... Tara you are one in a million :hug: :hug:


 :wink: :hug: :thumb:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Tara you are such as sweetie. :hug: May God bless you a hundred times.Your mom raised you right...NEVER CHANGE! There are to few of you out there these days and it breaks my heart. Such a thoughtful young lady  Things are getting better and prayen if this deal goes threw I'll have atleast 4 less goats tomorrow and that will be less work for me and help so much. There has been such heartfelt offers to assist me and it makes me want to cry honestly. God's love shines down and I just hope I can be there for someone in return. Right now I'm just battling with one of my does having mastitis and it is not fun :sigh: Milking her 3 times a day and atleast I'm done with her shots.I'm out milk for a week from her but this to shall pass. I'm only bottle feeding our buckling once a day so that's less.I'm also quiting babysitting all together by June 2nd.The parents made it clear they don't respect me or my rules.An hour late with no call and then decide to bring their kids early the next day without a notice when I wasn't done with my chores outside and get mad at me for making them wait and I rush to get done. :angry: The wife blew up my cell phone saying my husband is waiting outside and why isn't my garage door open...knowing darn well if it's not open then I'm not ready for them and I have hours of operation. :veryangry: Well I had enough after 7 years of babysitting 4 of that dealing with those people..FORGET IT! :GAAH: Money isn't worth it and my family means more. I had a friend say the most beautiful phrase "Success is not measured by the amount of money in your bank account but by the happiness of your children"...I honestly feel this is what I'm ment to do.With all the obstacles in my path lately..God is telling me to slow down.I nearly hit the sign :laugh:


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

Im glad for your potential sales and the new "life changes" you have started


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## KFOWLER (Oct 5, 2010)

Please slow down and accept any help that is offered to you...and if none is offered then ASK!!!! I know that's a hard thing to do for some (myself included) but you have to take care of you!!! Nothing wrong with a bucket of chicken for dinner...maybe you should make that a twice a week ritual!!!! But seriously...don't wear yourself out anymore...take care!!!  Best wishes to you and your family!!


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

> I had a friend say the most beautiful phrase "Success is not measured by the amount of money in your bank account but by the happiness of your children"...I honestly feel this is what I'm ment to do.With all the obstacles in my path lately..God is telling me to slow down.I nearly hit the sign :laugh:


 way to go ... :hi5: I am so proud of you .....it isn't worth all the stress..... your friends phrase.... is beautiful.... I love it and it is so true..... :hug: ray:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Thank the lord I was able to sell 3 goat kids this morning :leap: Now 3 more to go and I'll have a more manageable herd for me and all is well here  I feel SO much better with just having a plan in action and my hubbie is starting the garden after a talk and discussing the problems.I think an outsiders comment hit home to him.We were sitting at a restraunt with our 4 kids and an older couple came over and said what well behaved children we have and I said thank you we do our best and love our children and he said no YOU do a fantastic job and mothers do the hard work for their children.He looked at my husband and said be greatful for this women you have because you are a lucky man.I was shocked! :shocked: wow that made me tear up and was speachless.Since then my husband has been more helpful in the last few days and I hope it lasts.I told him I don't expect him to take over what I do but simple things helps me alot.Needless to say he made breakfast for everyone this morning knowing I was in the barn and couldn't do both. God is good!


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

Oh how wonderful - congrats on the sales. 

Very happy your hubby is helping out some and making you feel better about all of it. That's a blessing. I do believe God sends people our way to give us encouragement


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## lissablack (Nov 30, 2009)

It's great you have taken steps to make things better. The babysitting change will make a huge difference for you. And I have been experiencing this year for the first time how much easier it gets when you have less goats. I hope your hubby will keep up the good work too, but if he fades back into his old ways talking to him will probably help. In the end you are doing the things you need to do, and that is terrific! Your kids need you to be okay.

Jan


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## Bellafire Farm (Jan 5, 2010)

Just read this thread for the first time.... 
Wow this sounds so much like my own life... and I'm also in a tough spot right now as we're losing our house & the finances & our constrcution business are just a wreck in this economy...I'm fighting to find work of my own and I'm pulling all the strings I can to keep my chin up.... it's hard to keep a marriage in check during hard times, and kids on the right track too...

... then I read this thread and it was like :shocked: wow, this person is feeling the things I'm feeling right now! And you're putting your faith in God and pulling through.... and so am/will I. And this post is just another step in the right direction (for both of us I guess). I'm sure you thought you were just posting here to vent, but in reality you have helped me immensely to know I'm not alone... and I'm sure others here too have been touched by what you've said here. Isn't God amazing, the way he works just gives me chills  I love it when I see his light! You've given me renewed, refreshed faith in what lies ahead... my best wishes & prayers for you and your famiy. :hug:


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Amazing Traci. :hug: I do think God works in wonderous ways and I'm so glad I could be apart of your renewed faith. It's what has gotten me threw the most challenging times.Remembering his promise and people all around to help keep you steady. We have had some rough spots and nearly lost our house and everything after my husband got layed off a month before my 4th child was due.I was a wreck but more worried for my husband because he sank in depression.Feeling helpless and less of a man because he couldn't provide for his family.By the grace of God we got threw it and I kept reassuring him God shall supply as long as we do everything possible.We sold nearly all our belongings to keep paying our morgage. With my background I could turn measily potatoes into a meal.We weren't eligable for assistance (that upset me but that's a different story) but did manage to get medicaid which was a huge help because my son ended up very sick and on tons of meds.Hospitalized on Christmas day for a week nearly breathing due to what we now know as simple food allergies. I didn't bow on my knees prayen God help us because to me he was teaching us a lesson to stay humble and there was a reason for this all to happen. Well after over a year of struggling my husband not only was employed again but recieved a greater blessing of a higher position.If he wouldn't of lost his job he would of not gotten the job he has now.It was unreal and I thanked God that day I got the call THEN I bowed and hugged my children thanking him for not only that but the fact I learned a huge lesson.We took more then we needed and gave to little.My son who suffered from food allergies that year opened my eyes to realize how important nutrition was and the food we ate how toxic it was.Spending hours in the grocery store trying to find something without soy or egg was impossible and I remembering crying thinking what am I going to feed my poor baby.We now raise goats :wink: for the milk and sometimes meat.Our own chickens and this year we are doing our own garden without the harmful chemicals.My son today no longer suffers from those near death allergies.He can eat a whole egg without his air ways closing up :leap: Just from naturaly allowing his body to rid the toxins and build his immune system to it.If my husband wouldn't of lost his job then and things gone so horribly wrong it seemed ...we wouldn't be the poeple we are today.I'm grateful for the struggles because they ARE the blessings in disguise.It's up to you to adapt and overcome.Give twice as much as you recieve and help those in need.Simple as talking to a lonely old man who craves friendship.That's showing God's mercy and being the people we are ment to be.It's not about money..it's about love and compassion for others.Ok I'm off my soap box.. sorry to ramble. Hang in there Traci and if you ever need to talk send me an email.I'm happy to lend an ear and as you can see by my posts..it's good to vent and get it out or you will explode.


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## PznIvyFarm (Jul 25, 2010)

JessaLynn said:


> They get off at 4:30 but don't pick them up till 6:30-7. I have even told them 6 no later but it doesn't matter they are still late.They do it on purpose so they don't have to feed them dinner knowing we eat at 6 is the way I see it.Can you see my frustration??


My sister is supposed to pick up her son at daycare (next door neighbor) by 6. The other night her husband was supposed to do it, and forgot, and no one picked him up until 6:45 when she got home, and they were charged a $20 late fee. When her other son used to be at a daycare center, they also charged a late fee - if you were 15 minutes late you were charged the fee (which to me is ridiculous b/c sometime things happen, traffic sucks or whatever) but if they are done by 4:30 tell them they have until 5:30 and after that they have to pay a late fee. Bet they show up on time in the future.

You are amazing btw, I tried to maintain a garden last year and was taking two summer classes, along with taking care of my kids, my house, and my animals and the garden suffered. We didn't get alot of veggies and I wish I had just bought stuff at the public market or at roadside stands.


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Thank you.We can't manage everything 100%. Done babysitting soon so they are gonna have a very hard time finding someone that will deal with them.They had it made with me.All they would do is pick their kids up and put them to bed, get them up and bring them to me


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## PznIvyFarm (Jul 25, 2010)

When i was 16-18 I babysat for a family just about every night - they were both doctors and the father was Indian, the mother was American. The father would get home around 8 but I had to stay until the mother got home (usually around 10-11) b/c the dad didn't take care of children, that was women's work (he was a nice man, it was just the way he was raised) Anyway the kids ate hot dogs, tator tots, chicken nuggets, things like that for dinner b/c that was what they liked so that was all the parents left for me (despite the fact that I had been cooking dinner for my own family since I was 12) It really made me think -'why on earth do some people have children?'

I couldn't afford to stay home with the first two, but after number 3 my husband demanded a raise from his boss (and got it) and I have been able to stay home with my two youngest. My children have been my greatest joy, and I know sometimes people have to work but even when I was working, I spent all my free time with my children. 

I think they will realize how lucky they were with you when you are gone. I know you said there are other people in town who babysit, but a good sitter is worth their weight in gold. When I did have to work I had a long-time family friend take care of my oldest, when I had a new baby she was unable to continue, and my next-door neighbor took over - either one of them I trusted completely. My sister went the other route - she always used licensed day-care centers, but even then you sometimes have problems with weirdos working there. I am glad I don't have to worry about that any more, my older children can now watch the youngest one.


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

There are those that have children and those that want children.The parents I babysit for are both doctors and well off so it amazes me that the mother wouldn't atleast work part time if she has kids 3 at that.The oldest is 15 and as long as I can remember he's so involved in every activity he is just home to sleep  The 2 younger I have had since birth...3 soon to be 4 and the other is a year old. I also watch a 2 year old and atleast those parents have been good to me I have no complaints from them. Not everyone is lucky enough to be at home with their kids but I think you can still balance it out.


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## PznIvyFarm (Jul 25, 2010)

JessaLynn said:


> Not everyone is lucky enough to be at home with their kids


I agree. I consider myself VERY lucky that I am able to do that. Not everyone has that opportunity. On the other hand we have had to do without stuff that my kids see other kids getting (where both parents are working) - the most recent is 'everyone' went to Myrtle Beach for spring break. There are trade-offs to everything, and I hope my kids appreciate the sacrifices that their father and I made. We are by no means destitute, but we don't have a brand new car every couple years, a hi-def tv, new furniture, or whatever. What they NEED they get, and what they WANT they can ask for as a birthday or Christmas gift and they might get it if it's not too extravagant. If it is, they will get money toward it and they are welcome to save up for the rest by working for their grandmother or aunt (weeding, babysitting, etc) I hope they are learning good lessons for the future.


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

I honestly feel the same way.We make sacrifices for our children but in the long run we are doing the best thing for them for their future. Money wont buy love or contentment.You will always want more and better.We have what we need and the kids appreciate the simple things in life.We do what we can for them and they don't ever go without.The material things wont make them happy and I think they rather me sit and read them a book or take them fishing.It's fun and we enjoy each other


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## JessaLynn (Aug 30, 2009)

Cut it back to 3 milking does and our buck,just ordered our milking machine,done babysitting in a few weeks,garden is getting started,and feel a big brick lifted off my shoulders :dance: 
BUT.......My difficult parents who I have babysat for for the last 4 years that has taken advantage of me so many times I lost count seems to want to annoy me further.Ungrateful attitudes is what I get and not a word to me about anything.Just drops the kids off and then picks them up without much of a word every since I told them I wasn't going to be continuing to babysit anymore. Even when I try to talk about their day I get snubbed :veryangry: Whatever cus it don't matter and soon I can wash my hands of them. Sad cus I'll miss the kids but that's how it is I guess.


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