# Banjos



## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

I finally got a banjo. I told my wife that I might need one someday. Naturally she asked what a banjo might be needed for. So I explained that there are three instruments for which one may find a true need for from time to time, unlike all the others which are used just to play around on making music.

These are the banjo, the accordion and the bagpipes. Since I have the first two now, all I need are bagpipes to be fully prepared.

Oh, but the need. Well if you have a truck, from time to time you may get stuck in the mud and you NEED something to throw under the wheel to get better traction. 

I got the banjo for a real good price. The nice thing about a banjo that doesn't hold it's tune is that it makes my voice sound better in contrast. I was plucking around on it and singing a bit and I actually got requests from the neighbors to play "Far Away" . They must have thought I sounded like the guy in Star Wars, since they would ask me to sing more and louder by shouting "Sing! Solo" and "Solo, we can't hear you!"

I am preparing a tune for the Yanni Sigismundensis song and will be happy to sing it at the next Rendy. Perhaps someone will find they have a need for a banjo.


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## Saltlick (Jun 12, 2011)

Yay banjo! Yay accordion! I have both too... forgot how to play the banjo, and know some stuff on the accordion but not great at it - love it though! You should get a harmonica, they fit in your pocket all stealth-like, and you can sneak up on people and catch them by surprise! lol! I can't sing either... I can yodel just a bit, but sounds like someone is butchering Chewbacka.


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

Psychologists think that abusing small animals is a tell-tale sign that a child may grow into a sociopath. I started abusing small instruments at an early age.

I have had harmonicas since I was a kid. I play single notes with a warble, or a melody with a chord vamp. Most modern harmonica players use it as a percussion instrument playing only two chords to a beat.

I wasn't too bright then. I liked to sing and wanted to accompany myself with an instrument. The harmonica was not a good first choice, although people did like my singing more when I was playing it.

So then I picked up a girls accordion. It was smaller and lighter weight, but when hiking the Sierras I would end up carrying a 90 pound pack. The harmonica would have been a better choice then. I attributed getting teased and beat up to the fact that it was a sissy accordion so I traded it for a full-size one, but the beatings didn't stop.

I built my own one-string sitar just to learn the physics of music. There was not much published music for a sitar at the time, so I just sat in the garage and made stuff up. It burned in the garage fire. There were rumors that my dad had burned it down after removing all the tools and cars. Come to think of it, the sitar was the only thing that got lost in the fire.

I obtained a clarinet while in college, being a military academy they only let me play it while everyone was out of the barracks on the weekend. I had to quit when my lip turned black. I didn't know they used arsenic to cure the reeds.

So I picked up a Ukelele to go to sea. We would occasionally have "talent shows" on special occasions like crossing the equator or into the Arctic or Antarctic. My "hit" single was "You can't chop up your Walrus (in the Arctic Ocean)". We had a scientist (Lynn Bishop) on board who studied marine mammals. The song started like this:

Lynn Bishop took an ax and gave a seal 40 whacks...
And when the job was nicely done, she gave a walrus 41...

Someone thought it would be a good prank skit to smash my Ukelele at the end of the song like rock stars used to do with their guitars.

Since then I have abused pianos, guitar, melodica, chanter, tin whistle, ocarina, violin, glockenspiel, mandolin, trumpet, trombone, and a rare marching french horn.

Fortunately there are not laws against being a musicopath. Hannah has picked up all the instruments. She has a knack for choosing well-known tunes in contrast to my obscure repertoire. I thought "Home on the Range" was a popular standard, but no one seems to recognize it.


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## Saltlick (Jun 12, 2011)

Hahahaa! Hilarious! But didn't know Home on the Range? I could probably fall into the musicopath category myself, but not as much as you. guitar, harmonica, beer bottles (as a kid), mandolin, banjo, accordion, and santur. And an occasional howling dog.


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

Saltlick said:


> But didn't know Home on the Range?


They recognize it when Hannah plays it. ;-)


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## ali pearson (Aug 12, 2009)

Next rendy, lookout! I'll bring my banjo,(old time) hubby Bill will bring his guitar, you guys bring your stuff, and everyone else bring earplugs!


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## Saltlick (Jun 12, 2011)

Heeheeee! I"ll bring my accordion AND earplugs!


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

At this rate, no one should get stuck in the mud...


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## jross (Dec 20, 2008)

If you guys will learn "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" I can tap a reggae beat on an empty beer can with my fingers.


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## Blueroan (Mar 6, 2010)

Banjos and camping do not mix. 
Have you never seen the bumber sticker, I hear banjo music, paddle faster. 
It is quite popular here in the south, so are banjo's but they are something that you do not mix. You could also learn hillbonix.


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

Nearly two years ago... pre-goats, I had to use two canes for walking. The boss suggested we take some of management to the Uintas and fish nine lakes in one day as a team building experience. 

When my wife asked me what a team building experience was, I asked her if she remembered the movie Deliverance. 

I finally got the banjo tuned last night. I had to adjust the bridge some. Of course not having it tuned hasn't stopped me from playing it for the last few weeks. I went to my local ninja supply house and picked up some picks that fit over your fingers. I nearly poked an eye out.

The circumstances might not arise on the trail where I NEED a banjo, particularly since the truck should be safely parked somewhere, but I can picture myself scaling fish, tenderizing meat, or making myself look big and mean to any wild felines we may encounter with those banjo picks.


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