# OMG What a nightmare! :'(



## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

I am so beside myself right now. I am angry, and hurt and just beyond belief. 
I had to take my oldest to a dr. apt and go try to have a mechanic fix the rear axl seal on my truck - it's leaking and they just did the rear end last week.

My son had '1' job to do - wash the 3 market wethers, let them dry and WATCH them. He's horrible about it because of video games! I kept calling him telling him to watch them. 
I kept thinking while sitting there that I need to have him go put them in the pen.
Then I get a call that his wether is DEAD, that he got tangled and suffocated!!!! OMG!!!! I thought he was joking at first, but he isn't! 
I had to leave without truck being fixed, and come home to find him.

I am absolutely horrified, and I am so disappointed in my son I can't believe it. Out of all the times they've had to wash & watch them until they dry and he had to rush in here to play on VIDEO GAMES!!!!

He is done with goats IMO. No animal deserves to die like that. He is also done with video games, I am getting rid of his Xbox and he'll be grounded from the tablet for a LONG time if I EVER let him have it back! 

This is absolutely avoidable, all he had to do was sit with them, but instead he lied to me and said he would watch them! I called and checked on them several times! 

I know if my oldest daughter had been here it would never have happened. I wish to God now I would have changed her apt like I had planned to do, so she would have been here. Something told me this morning to change it to another day!

I am trying to calm my nerves, and trying to think level headed, but it's so hard. I am in tears just typing this. All the time and love put into these animals, all gone in a blink of an eye. 

This really makes me want to throw in the towel, I'm ready to just only keep a few for my own enjoyment. But I know that isn't fair to my daughters who love their animals and work hard with them.

Anyway, I am sorry to bring this up with everyone, but I didn't know anyone else to talk to about it. We've had goats 4 years and NEVER lost any to anything like this. I am just in shock and horror right now. OMG... 
And of course my husband always blames me for everything, so I'll hear it from him too when he gets home.


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## billiejw89 (May 7, 2014)

Oh my. I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to experience.


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## LoriH (Jan 12, 2014)

So sorry. I think video games and technology in general is going to continue to take its toll on this next generation. It gets a real hold on some kids and its all they can think about. Stay strong. Don't give up and DON'T GIVE IN and give the "stuff" back either!!


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Oh no  I would for sure make sure he learned his lesson on that one! I would not play it down, that is a terrible thing to happen, and he needs to understand the consequences of his choices.
Raising kids with technology is so frustrating sometimes. I have two boys still at home that are all about the computer, and a daughter who is not quite as much, but still more than my liking.You are not alone :hug:


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## Dani-1995 (Mar 11, 2011)

First off, it's not your fault. Accidents happen and it is very sad he went in this way. 

I would sell the xbox, games and all, then say that money was for the goat and his irresponsibility. I also wouldn't allow him to show for a good long while and let him think about it good and hard. Don't throw away everything with the goats and kids because of this. Let him learn from it and grow as well. I'm sure it will haunt him forever. 

As sad as it is, he will likely learn a very valuable lesson about why it is important to follow through with your work and do it correctly and resposibly.

Again very sorry to hear this and especially sorry for the wether!


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## Chadwick (Jan 24, 2014)

How old is your son? 

I would not give them back, because no one can give tne goat back it's life.

My son has no games for this reason, as far as he is conserned it is 1981 and we don't have money for Atari


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

I am so sorry!!!...I agree..video games in the trash..or better yet..sale them all to pay for the goat that died...they are addictive..!! so addictive...so are our cell phones and lap tops...Face Book!! all that stuff draws us out of the world and into the tech world...in moderation is ok..but when one cant focus on any other task at hand because of wanting to get back to the game ... its just too much!...again..I am so sorry...:sigh:


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## canyontrailgoats (Jan 4, 2014)

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! What a terrible thing to experience  . I'm sure your son will always regret this, he'll never forget his mistake....

And I agree, down with the games! My little brother became so addicted, it was awful. He'd sit in front of the tv and play for hours, without eating or resting or playing outside. Finally my parents made him give up video games for a month as punishment. 
The result? He acted like a real boy again! He finally just enjoyed life, and wanted to be a part of it. Believe me, technology+kids=a very irresponsible and messed up life.

I hope the money from his games will go towards a new goat, and expenses from the old one.


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## CritterCarnival (Sep 18, 2013)

If it were me, I know a young man who would be hand digging his goats grave, with the goat laying there next to him the whole time. Make him look into the face of what his actions cost the little goat...


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## loggyacreslivestock (Mar 5, 2013)

Oh, I am so sorry. I understand completely. I have a neighbor boy who is 13 and killed his fair goat three weeks ago by using a sheep halter to try to get it to walk. It had never been led before and was not walking well, so he tied it to the 4 Wheeler and went about 5 feet before his nose crushed. Then he came running over to me to save the poor thing while it suffocated in his mother's arms. I had warned him and his father several times about this type of thing and the fact that you can't train them in 10 minutes. We did make him dig the grave and bury him. 
I explained that he took a life, a living, breathing thing is now dead because of his actions. I hope it prevents future problems.


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## lottsagoats1 (Apr 12, 2014)

I would deal out more punishment than taking away his games. If it were my kid, games would be gone until he left the house. Money from sales would pay you for the goat. Totally grounded for the summer. He digs the grave and buries the goat. He would have to wear a billboard type of sign saying that he killed his goat because video games were more important. 

A husband who blames a wife for everything is an abusive husband. That is a form of abuse. If he did not support me on this punishment, I would leave him.

I am sorry for you and your other kids who are also impacted by the death.


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## canyontrailgoats (Jan 4, 2014)

How old is he? Just wondering whether it was a case of "stupid forgetful kid", or a case of "downright irresponsible boy who should be mentally mature because he is physically mature, and needs to grow up".

Either way, a BIG punishment should be the result...


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

Oh I'm so so sorry. :hug: I hope your son learns a big lesson from this. I would say no more video games, and yes to him digging a deep deep grave for the wether.


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

Thanks Everyone. I've had a chance to calm down, and also sit and talk with my son. 
He is a VERY GOOD, VERY SWEET boy that loves his goats. He is 13, but usually very mature for his age. We have had the same routine with washing/drying since they got into 4-H. So he knew what he was supposed to be doing.
I do blame myself for being so upset towards him, and yelling at him, I was pretty lousy, not one of my best parenting days  I hope God will forgive me for taking it out on my son, and I hope he can forgive me too. I feel so wretched. He feels bad enough, I didn't have to make him feel worse.

I really do not blame my son at all, but I blame the addiction for video games. Even if he wasn't on it <he said he was cleaning his room and checking through the window>, still, 99% of the time I have to fuss at him to go back outside to help his sister do something because of the video games, so I'm sure he was really doing something on it.

I could never make him dig a grave by himself, sorry, if you knew him you'd understand. My husband and his sister are all out with him and they are doing it together.

Now that I've had time to cool down, and feel guilty for my own reaction, I know that taking his goats away isn't the answer. 
We'll most likely be allowing him to show his goats, he needs to be able to heal and move on, we can't change what is done. He said he understands now why I always said to watch them and not turn your back for a second.

He's 13, but he's very mature for his age, usually.

I know this. I will be here for everything involved with the goats, I won't trust that the kids will stick to routine. I will also be getting a goat stand & dryer for them to use next year to avoid having to tie animals so they can dry without getting dirty in order to get them clipped.

We'll get past this, but we'll never forget that sweet wether ♥ 
I think we do forget sometimes these are kids and not adults, no matter how mature they seem. I feel so awful for yelling at my son when I got home asking him what did he do? And getting so hot headed, which is so unlike me  I failed this parenting test horribly & will be doing a lot of praying ♥


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

I may be a bit unpopular for saying this, but if he loved those goats, having one die would be far and away punishment enough for me. 

Don't kick yourself, this was a big deal and you did have the right to get angry, even if the anger came out in a way you aren't happy with now. The fact you own up to that even is a sign of great maturity and a great mom, IMO. 

PS. I actually quite love video games, I consider myself a "gamer". I game in my rare free time, haha! Taking away his games would be quite fair, but I just want to put out there, that gaming in moderation (the key is moderation) can actually be beneficial in some ways.


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## Wild Hearts Ranch (Dec 26, 2011)

So sorry  I lost a lovely doeling this year when she got tangled in the fence. She had gotten tangled the day before and I got her out, and decided not to let them in that field unless I'm home to keep an eye on them (I can hear yelling from my window.) Couple of days later I had them out in the field and something urgent came up, forgot to put them away and came home to a dead baby :'(


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## emilieanne (Oct 15, 2012)

I know, from losing 16+ animals in 6 months, it SUCKS when my mom yells at me when I just lost my goat. 
But I also completely understand punishing him. 

You will get through this, I know that! And I am sure that he will learn from it.. I have. 

God will forgive you, no doubt about that 
You are not a bad mother either so please don't feel like that. Just think, within a reasonable time when you calmed down, you realized your son was hurting.  
I have to thank you.. For realizing that yes it does hurt & that maybe yelling so much just made it worse. 
You seem like a GREAT mom to me can I come live with y'all?! Lol 


Sent from my iPhone using Goat Forum


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## canyontrailgoats (Jan 4, 2014)

Well, you could've been a Mom who says "oh well things happen, I'll buy you another goat to make you feel better honey!" OR you could've been a Mom who hurts your son, takes everything away and ruins his whole life because of one mistake. 

But it sounds to me like you're right in the middle, where you should be . You're strict but concerned, disciplinary but loving. You sound like a great mom to me!


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

I see no need to need forgivness, you reacted normally...as parents we will always have hind sight! ( mom of 8 here)...first off...your son blew it..he knows it..you know it...what ever the reason...the goat lost his life because of it...hard lesson to learn...I agree with canyontrails..you are in the middle where you should be, firm but loving...I would not have asked him to dig the grave either..get rid of the video games..yes..lol..but the lesson learned will be forever etched in his brain..BUT you made a very GOOD POINT!!! We forget these are kids...not adults...and we as parents need to use each lesson on the farm to teach our kids.....Im sorry this happened...to learn the lesson any other way would be awesome...but not practical...when my son lost his ewe because of his own actions...it hurt...he wept...I had to allowed the lesson to be learned...as parents we can sometimes forget they need guidance...especially when 9 out of 10 times they show great maturity..your family will get through this...your son will move past it...but hopefully not forget..

best wishes


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## Chadwick (Jan 24, 2014)

I know I needed to be "blown up" on a few times when I was his age, it's good, it cements the lesson. I don't think my parents wrong for exploding when I did really bad stuff.


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## Dani-1995 (Mar 11, 2011)

Chadwick said:


> I know I needed to be "blown up" on a few times when I was his age, it's good, it cements the lesson. I don't think my parents wrong for exploding when I did really bad stuff.


I agree. I'm only 19, however when I think about the mistakes I've made I'm usually glad my parents blew up over it. I knew they cared about me and my actions, and only wanted the best for me. Although, I always had one really strict parent and one super understanding one. But I never knew who was going to be in which role! My parents are my best friends and I don't care if that makes me a nerd.


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## Hodgson (Jan 7, 2014)

Sometimes teenage boys have lapses in judgement. Mine did a couple of times when he was 16 and his mountain bike camp had to be cancelled that year. We even sold his truck and I charged him for every mile I had to drive him to and from work, until he saved enough to buy himself another truck. He still was a bit careless at times, but never to that extent. He's 20 now and has grown up to be a responsible young man, and as hard as it was to punish him so severely, it did serve it's purpose of making him stop and think about things before doing something that seemed like a good idea at the time.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Dani-1995 said:


> I agree. I'm only 19, however when I think about the mistakes I've made I'm usually glad my parents blew up over it. I knew they cared about me and my actions, and only wanted the best for me. Although, I always had one really strict parent and one super understanding one. But I never knew who was going to be in which role! My parents are my best friends and I don't care if that makes me a nerd.


I think it makes you a step ahead of anyone who doesn't.


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## snubbie (Apr 13, 2014)

So I gotta ask, if you're not going to make him dig the goat's grave, then who is gonna do the digging?


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## canyontrailgoats (Jan 4, 2014)

His dad and sister are helping him dig the grave...


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## snubbie (Apr 13, 2014)

canyontrailgoats said:


> His dad and sister are helping him dig the grave...


Missed that, thanks.


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

Thanks Everyone, it means a lot. Things have calmed down and I think we're past the initial shock, but it will be very hard in the morning when we are not greeted by his wether. 
The other 2 wethers seem to be okay? They are in side by side stalls tonight, gave them probios and hay. I'm sure they might look like they are pregnant by morning, but at least the hay should help their stomach - if they are under any stress it hasn't shown yet.
My son is doing okay, he's going to be heartbroken for a while, but he's got to move on, we all do, we can't dwell, it will just make it harder 
He helped me clip his sisters wethers this evening, and feed, and it was pretty normal talk. We came in, and after the worst of a thunderstorm passed we watched a family movie together.

Every kid is different, but I know my son, he's not a hard kid, he's a softy. No way he could go out there and dig a grave for his goat alone. I could never, ever do that to my kids, or any kid for that matter. Now a hateful kid, that could have cared less? I would certainly consider it. 
It was a horrible accident, and he's very sorry, I agree that the heartbreak is punishment enough.

We are very isolated out here, there are no friends around here for my kids to play with other than the younger kids next door. So the Xbox was my son's way of staying in touch with his friends and his cousin <all of my family are out of state>. I feel very bad that he has to be cut off to the outside world this way. He needs a life outside of this out, so I am going to encourage him to invite friends over, or see if he wants to go visit some of his friends. They are nice kids. A lot of them do get very busy this time of year, other than the gamers.
I don't honestly know if he'll ever get the Xbox back. For now, it stays in my room. We did limit play time when school was in session. I should have restricted use of it during the day, and kept with the school schedule. I am not even 100% sure that's what he was doing when this all went down, but that is USUALLY what he is doing when he tries to stay inside. So, I still blame the addiction for it. My husband may or may not agree about letting him have it back one day with strict rules on when he can play it. I don't want him to be punished forever so long as he can control what he is doing. My kids don't get much, they don't get to do much, so it hurts knowing we have to take something like this away


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## pacingponys (Aug 15, 2013)

I'm so sorry you had to go through that nobody should aver experience something like that.:sad:


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## loggyacreslivestock (Mar 5, 2013)

Sounds like he learned a hard lesson and will come out a better, more responsible kid for it. 
As for my neighbor digging the grave, he used a skid steer, so it only took 5 minutes and he seemed to need to do the task. Made him feel like he was trying to make it up to the poor thing. He volunteered to do it. So I think it was therapy for him. 
Your son will remember this, and when he is ready for the games again, will hopefully play in moderation.


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## lovinglife (Jun 6, 2013)

No, you are already giving in! Remember, the goat DIED because he didn't do what he was supposed to do! You KNEW he would be playing games, thats why you kept calling him, he has not learned his lesson, and wont if don't stay strong and SELL THE GAMES.


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## Goats Rock (Jun 20, 2011)

So sorry for all you are going through. You are his mom, so you know better than anyone what needs done. Everyone has 
opinions, but none of any of the fine people on here really know you, your son or the entire circumstances. Hopefully, whatever
happens, your boy learns some life lessons and you all can get through this. 

Nothing will bring the poor goat back, but, unfortunately, most people with any farm animals have made mistakes, some fatal, and 
hopefully, those mistakes won't be made again. I am sure your son will remember this for his entire life and hopefully will become
a better person because of it.


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## snubbie (Apr 13, 2014)

lovinglife said:


> No, you are already giving in! Remember, the goat DIED because he didn't do what he was supposed to do! You KNEW he would be playing games, thats why you kept calling him, he has not learned his lesson, and wont if don't stay strong and SELL THE GAMES.


I think you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing... ahhh, nevermind...


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## TDG-Farms (Jul 12, 2013)

Its pretty equally yours, your husbands and your boys fault. You are his parents. You guys make the rules. You and your husband allowed him not only the access but the time to play his games pretty much without boundaries. If it was bad enough that you had to keep calling and asking him to do something, his games should have been taken away long ago. Anything more then a roof, clothes and food is a privilege. Kids need a herd leader too...


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## maple hill farm tina (Mar 14, 2010)

It's really, really easy for us to type on screen what we "would" do or what you "should" do, but none of us was there. He is your son, it is your farm, and it is your conscience. And I don't even remember seeing where you asked any of us for our advice. Just a friendly ear. Just someone you could share your experience with... So why all the judgement? Whatever happened to "keep it friendly, keep it fun?" I'm really sorry that you're going through this, Candace.


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## TDG-Farms (Jul 12, 2013)

Once you post something like this to social media, this is exactly what to expect. You cant expect a friendly ear on one hand and not being told the obvious wrong on the other. It just doesnt work that way.


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## Jessica84 (Oct 27, 2011)

First so so very very sorry to you and your son  your son sounds very much like my son and If he is he will pay more attention. I understand the feeling bad about yelling at your son and I would too but he messed up. He may know it but you yelling at him put it into his head even more how bad he screwed up.....if it was me in his shoes my dad would have whipped my @$$ so don't beat yourself up about it. We have all goofed up and no one knows your son on here like you do. We can give suggestions but we don't know your boy. 
As for video games I guess those things can be addicting. I don't play them because I get mad I always loose lol but my son plays them and I swear he counts down to the time he can play. But I realized real fast he would put those game before anything else so no more games till the sun goes down. I have found him on them before that time and they were unplugged and put away the first time for a day and now we are on 5 days. I so think limited time is actually a good thing because it's a fun thing to challenge the mind so I'm not anti video games or anything. Just a suggestion for if he earns them back 
Again so very sorry for you bad day 


Sent from my iPhone using Goat Forum


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## canyontrailgoats (Jan 4, 2014)

The mistakes of the past influence the outcome of the future....hopefully because of this tragedy your son will be a stronger, wiser man.


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

Okay, so life isn't perfect, we all make big and small mistakes. Sometimes we get lucky and the mistakes are not as severe, and sometimes they are horrible. Sadly, it's part of life. Nobody could have predicted it 
He knows what he did wrong, he knows there is nothing he can do to change what happened. It's very hard for him, and I've had a lot of time to think about it all.

I didn't turn my son loose on the video games. He was limited to about 30 mins to 1 hour an evening IF that. Saturdays he'd usually have more time to play after chores. 
School let out 2 weeks ago, and that's when he started staying on the games, wanting to play with his friends, and getting really addicted.
We never had this issue with the tablet, he's had it for a year and a half.
So it's not like we just get the electronics and turn them loose. 
My kids usually have to graze their adult does in our front yard for about 2 hours every evening, even when they were in school. They work with their 4-H goats for about an hour or so, then spend about an hour in the morning taking care of them/feeding/cleaning pens, and then feeding/care in the evenings. Of course all the times in between when they aren't in school., checking water, or doing this and that. My husband usually always has something for them to do outside, helping him, etc. 
Lately I've had to run a lot of errands/apts. That's when he gets on the games the most. Last week I had to sit at the mechanics shop for 6 HOURS! guess what I was doing when this happened? I was back at the mechanic shop because they couldn't get the work done right the first time! My rear axl is leaking fluid from a 'new' seal!  Of course naturally if they had done it right the first time we'd have been at home and all of us outside, this could have been avoided. 
I blame myself just as much as the video games, I shouldn't have asked him to wash them. I should have trusted my instinct, it usually never NEVER lets me down. I will never ignore it again that is for sure.

If the video games happen again for him, it won't be 'going in his room to play.' It will be in the front room, family type games that he can play with his siblings. It's something we'll have to discuss. We've had a Wii in our front room for a couple of years, but recently it started coming up with error codes/won't play cd's. We don't have satellite, so the kids/hubby use it for Netflix/Hulu. We watch very little to no tv at all Spring-Fall. Kids like to watch movies/dvds once in a while.

My kids aren't priveledged, they aren't spoiled <ok so the youngest is!>, they don't get to do a lot of things like go to movies, go hang out with their friends/go do stuff. They pretty much are at home all the time. We live out of town, no kids around us close enough for them to go to on their own <people drive crazy on this road, I wont' let them on it!>. So I can see why he was getting so addicted. I told him if he wants to go see his friends, then lets invite them over, or make plans for him to go to their house. He's a social kid when he gets the chance, and he's such a joy to be around ♥
He is good with his goats, he tries very hard and loves them. His yearling doe is usually permanently attached to his side, she's his shadow. He really is a very hard worker.
He knows he's in trouble for what happened. As a parent, you have to know your kids in order to know how to react, and proceed. I was so very angry when I posted, and I've had time to calm down, think things through. We love and nurture and protect our kids, when they hurt, we hurt. This will haunt him just as much as it will haunt the rest of us. Hearing his shaky voice on the phone and his words will haunt me forever....
I remember as a kid experiencing something very horrible with animals, and it has haunted me ever since - I was 8. Nothing 'we' did but a dear friend...watching an animal suffer a horrible ending because of a really dumb human error, I prayed to never go through that again. What happened yesterday doesn't even compare...

We just have to hold our head up and try to move past this, and learn from it. 
I definitely know, next year they will have a dryer, so that limits accidents from happening. Wash, dry, and put them back in their pen/stall.


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## Suntoo (Nov 14, 2013)

lovinglife said:


> No, you are already giving in! Remember, the goat DIED because he didn't do what he was supposed to do! You KNEW he would be playing games, thats why you kept calling him, he has not learned his lesson, and wont if don't stay strong and SELL THE GAMES.


I have to agree.....


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

Thank you for participating. This thread is now closed.


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