# Trying to make a very hard choice......so hard :(



## cdtrum (Aug 25, 2008)

So for some time now I have wrestled with the idea of giving my 4 wethers up.....I love these guys so much! My husband travels often with his hobby of racing....I always went with him until getting the boys 4yrs ago......I never dreamed how tied down I would be with having them.....after 4yrs I am really missing our life of traveling and this coming year my husband's racing schedule will be more......we feel like we are living different lives, although we both love our boys so much.......so I just happened upon a lady looking for some more goats to add to her small herd and she is willing to take all 4 boys! She has emailed me pics of her barn and farm...looks nice. I have asked her if I can come see for myself as this is sooooo hard. My husband and I both are so torn as what to do......I have a great neighbor that comes and takes great care of the boys during the few times a year I do try and manage to go with Mitch, but I pay her well and it is to costly for me to go with him all the time.
Ok...thanks for letting me think out loud.....I have such a very hard choice to make


----------



## freedomstarfarm (Mar 25, 2011)

:hug: That is a hard decision. Will this lady be willing to let you come visit from time to time? Spending these years with your husband are very important. Or get a nice big trailer for the goats and bring them along. :wink:


----------



## cdtrum (Aug 25, 2008)

Logan....don't laugh but we actually did try taking the first 2 boys with us when they were little, but it was to stressful with all the noise from the race cars and they cried so bad! 

A far as visiting them...I would not want to...it would just make the heart ache prolonged.

I just keep going back and forth.....so I asked this woman to give me a couple of days to really think this thru......I find myself leaning one way and then an hour later the other way.....and of course looking out the window seeing them romping in their yard doesn't help! I feel like I would be giving up my children....for the past 4yrs, these boys have been pretty much my life!


----------



## goatnutty (Oct 9, 2007)

It's such a hard decision, but you just have to think about whats truely best for all involved both you and the goats. Yo'll make the right choice no matter what you choose. :hug:


----------



## mommaB (Oct 1, 2009)

So sorry you have to make a choice  I can't say for sure what I would do?? But I guess one way to look at it is.....you made a commitment to your hubby first. He is the one you will grow old with. Maybe in the future when life isn't so busy, you guys can get goaties again. Again sooooo sorry :hug:


----------



## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

That is a hard decision to make...  

In my opinion... you should go and enjoy the time with your husband.... as life is to short ...that's if ..you both love spending quality time together ...and enjoy life more.....that is the best policy.... and good for both of you...
with your precious goats not too far away... I am sure.. you can visit with them.... maybe write up a contract and have your and her signature on it.. stating... you can visit them and also have 1st dibs on them... in case she can't take care of them anymore.... if you charge her a price or not... make sure ...you will have to pay the same to get them back.... have it in writing..

tell her she can contact you... if she has any questions or issues that arise... :hug:


----------



## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

Everything's already been said so I'll just give you a :hug:


----------



## SandStoneStable Farm (Dec 8, 2010)

I know it's hard but they do tie you down! My DH and I now travel to family events seperately... he goes to see his family then I go to mine. I'm trying to teach the kids next door to goat-sit.

Could you consider a sale on two, and a 6 month trial on two? And if you feel the decision was right for your family situation, sell at the 6 month mark... just a thought.


----------



## Hickoryneck (Oct 10, 2011)

If I was in your shoes I would sell them and go racing then hope hubby gets tired of all the racing and retires from it so I could get goats again :laugh:


----------



## Randi (Apr 22, 2011)

Children grow up and leave home......DH is a forever partner.......you will not always be young enough to run and race. It would break my heart to give up my goaties......

Here are my thoughts:
1) Go have a good hard cry.
2) Wash your face 
3) Write a comparison of keeping vs giving
4) Look in the mirror and ask yourself which decision would let you continue to look in the mirror. You will know what to decide.
5) Once you make your decision act on it and do NOT go back on it. It will work out right.
6) Go have a cup of tea.


----------



## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

I would see if you could find a local 4H person who is willing to come work and feed the goats when you go so that you can pay them a small bit OR trade - let them use a wether or two for showing at fair in exchange for their work.

Im at this point too -- Ive decided i need help and Im hoping I can find someone else interested in goats who will help me when I need it. 

Not only would you loose out but your husband to if you sell them since you said you both love them. Of course make the decision together.


----------



## cdtrum (Aug 25, 2008)

Thank you guys for so many helpful and thoughtful comments.......I just don't think I can let them go, I walked out there this morning and look at Jake and my heart just melted......he is my big old boy that I just love so much! We paid $900.00 to save him this summer and the thought of giving him to someone that I know will never give the care that we give to these boys, no one will because we are over the top with these 4 guys! Mitch says we just need to suck it up and keep paying what we are paying for their care when we're gone and for me to maybe just go to every other race, which I think we can both live with.......I just worry about the cost of care, my neighbor actually lives at the end of my drive.....I pay her $25.00 a day and she gets the eggs from the chickens to come up 2x's for probably 15/20 min each time.....she does take excellent care of them.....she knows how I want things done.......my boys get warm water out of the house faucet 3x's a day and hay 24/7........My husband says he worries about our boys surviving anywhere else because they have been so catered to their entire lives.......it is my fault, I have created monsters! So I guess for now they will stay where they are happy and know no different.

Thanks friends!


----------



## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Your welcome.... :hug:


----------



## Burns Branch Boers (Apr 11, 2011)

You know that sounds like such a great compromise--you still get to go with him alot and get to keep your babies. 

Regarding the payment--is there a way you could earn some extra $$ w/a hobby so the sting of their care while you are out of town would not be so bad? Also, what about getting a pair of goats to breed? That way you could sell the babies and use the $$ to pay for your wethers boarding and some towards feed. Just a thought (dont mean to add more goats  )


----------



## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

Wow...Denise, this had to be very difficult for you to be dealing with and carrying in your heart before you came to us :hug: 

I know just how much you love your boys and you as a goat owner have a heart of gold with just how well loved they all have been.

Yes, they do tend to limit the amount of time spent away from home as well as the frequency, and having someone you trust to totally care for them the way that you do when you are away is a God send...I seriously would consider asking her if she'd take a lesser amount plus eggs to care for them...even those of us that would board a goat for breeding only charge a few dollars a day and that includes our time to care for them plus their feed and stud fee.

Do you sell your eggs?
Garden veggies? Make jams and jellies? These are some things that can help bring in a few extra bucks at farmers markets etc that can help offset the cost of their care while you are away.
Sounds like your DH is as in love with them as you are and I don't think that he'd like to see them rehomed either....compromise with each other as well as yourself is always good and if it works out that you go with him to EO race then you made the right decision but if it ever gets to a point that EO race is not enough and where either of you start to feel a little resentment over the boys, then I would say to rethink whats best for you as well as them :hug:


----------



## mommaB (Oct 1, 2009)

YAY!! That sounds like a good plan! And hubby is on board!! That's AWESOME!! :hug: :clap:


----------



## logansmommy7 (Nov 11, 2009)

It is a hard decision-I understand. We started out with two ND wethers, and they were the sweetest things EVER! Eventually as we got into breeding, they became buck companions, and then, we decided on another buck or two, and finally decided we had to make cuts on 'hayburners' so to speak. It was the two boys-we loved so-but a GREAT home came out of the woodwork. Hope you can make the right decision for your boys if they can't say at your place. It definitely helps when you know the home they go to will be a GREAT home....Good luck!


----------



## cdtrum (Aug 25, 2008)

Hunter....all I have is the 4 hay burners! lol! I have never jumped into the breeding aspect......we just thought it would be fun to have some wethers here on the farm to make our farm seem alive.......and they have for sure done that! We were so ignorant when we got the boys, we knew nothing and I mean nothing! We have a neighbor friend that told us goats are super easy to have and they take little care........yeah right!!!!!! 
Anyway, here we are 4yrs later.....I have always been one to believe when you take on a pet, it is for life........I know that many of you are in the business of breeding and bettering your herds.....it is a business and selling is part of it......but for me, my boys are just pets and I owe them a good life.....my selfishness and wanting my freedom clogged my mind, but I now realize that I can not part with my boys.


----------



## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

cdtrum said:


> Hunter....all I have is the 4 hay burners! lol! I have never jumped into the breeding aspect......we just thought it would be fun to have some wethers here on the farm to make our farm seem alive.......and they have for sure done that! We were so ignorant when we got the boys, we knew nothing and I mean nothing! We have a neighbor friend that told us goats are super easy to have and they take little care........yeah right!!!!!!
> Anyway, here we are 4yrs later.....I have always been one to believe when you take on a pet, it is for life........I know that many of you are in the business of breeding and bettering your herds.....it is a business and selling is part of it......but for me, my boys are just pets and I owe them a good life.....my selfishness and wanting my freedom clogged my mind, but I now realize that I can not part with my boys.


Denise...I definately know how you feel :hug: I have a few "producers" BUT all are pets first and knowing what is best for those pets is part of being a pet owner...or should I say that they own you? :wink: Mine DO own me and I love them even more for that. :hug:


----------



## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

Awww Denise, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes things happen in life, and we have to step back and see which path we need to be on. Now you know for sure, and sounds like your hubby feels the same way. I definitely agree maybe a 4-H kid would want to help look after them, or maybe you could talk to the neighbor and see if they would take less if $$ is an issue. 
I remember when I was growing up how hard it was for my dad to find someone trustworthy to look after our animals, so I couldn't imagine what you are going through. 
I think the one thing that makes it easy to have our goats is the fact we are always home. My husband works 6 days a week, and doesn't leave much time for anything else. But if he had more time off and we were able to go more places, I know we'd feel the strain.

Sure wish we lived closer, I'd look in on your boys in exchange for some fresh eggs!


----------

