# Needing to vent and possibly shed a tear or two



## DDFN (Jul 31, 2011)

Ok guys. Well you all know we have been working pretty hard to get our dream farm and have been in the process to close on it. Well we hit a rock in the road. Everything was going a head of schedule but just now the rural home loan people have decided that since the place is a part of two lots they do not want to approve it. . . Yup, I have already been working on pre-packing, got new trailer tires for the gooseneck and even did a round of chemical wormers since I knew everyone would get stressed with the things changing around here. . . 

It looks like it is not going to work out, but our agent is trying one last (as she called it) "Hail Mary" to see if we can get one lot removed from the loan and sold as cash to accompany the transaction. Please keep your fingers crossed and send a few prayers that we don't go loony toons during this process. We have already viewed this as being defeated but would like to hold out hope for now. 

My husband is wanting to down size if this does not go through, but I finally have my herd where I want them at for now. (I am being a little childish and don't want to talk about it with the hubby, I keep saying they are my kids and they will not be sold) We already dispersed our sheep flock since the new farm was more goat land and I wanted to focus on expanding our goat herd with the next breeding season. I really hope my hubby will not demand a herd reduction but if he does I may have a few does come available. If this occurs I will contact those on my waiting list first to see if they would be interested in those that become available and if they are not then I will leave them wait listed for the available kids from next season. Sad thing is one that I would consider selling was exposed briefly in a trial breeding so she may or may not be bred. I had plans to put her in the breeding lot again soon to be sure she took. 

Guess I will get to unpack at our current location again. . . and redo the fencing on 5 to 10 acres here. . . 

Is it bad I am being a little childish with my hubby? My animals are my children since we don't have human kids and they mean the world to me. I have worked hard to get my herd to where we are now and really would hate to cut and rebuild later on. There are some I wouldn't mind to let go but I got attached and love them all. 

Sorry just needed to vent and get some stuff off my chest.


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

I'm so sorry for you. :hug:I'll send positive vibes your way for the hail mary. I completely understand. I started building my animals then divorce struck. Remarried the new hubby and i moved to a rental only 5 acres no fencing or pasture, started our herd and flock to only have to give them up a year and half later. We had to move to a mobile park for 2 yrs - I hated it I was miserable. We found this rental but it's only about 2 acres, I've started -yet again- my flock of poultry, and herd of ND's. I too pray this is the last move -at least for more than 8 yrs. I know it doesn't make it any better but I do relate. My children are grown and have their own families (except my 12 step son-yeah talk about starting all over with kids) my goats are my kids now. Hubby gets mad tells me they are livestock and that's it and I'm being a loon. He just doesn't get it. Soooo, come here to vent we will listen, empathize, sympathize, cry and laugh with you.


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## canthavejust1 (Oct 12, 2012)

That's rough. Don't give up hope. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. It's not always apparent at the time but in the future you will look back and see it. If its meant to be it will be and if not, its because better things are in store. Dont despair! Just try to go with the flow. Pray if its your thing. Just don't let it get you down. 
As far as parting with some goats. I'm not a lot of help! I can see where you are coming from. But the fact that you have a few you "could" part with if need be, is a good thing. Best wishes that things work out for you all! Hugs and positive thoughts from Maine


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

A very difficult time, I am very sorry.  

Prayers sent, for strength, to get though this.


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## sweetgoats (Oct 18, 2007)

Just remember if it does not happen, that that is the way it was meant to be. Hard to say and believe but have faith.


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

It may still work out , dont give up hope and think positive honey !
You have alot of emotions flying around right now so I can understand your husband being upset as well. He just may be striking out in order to vent , men are so different then us that way.
Give him some space , you need yours. Take a breather. 
Again , it may work out , so just dont give up hope 
And if it doesnt , it wasnt meant to be and there is a better place out there for you both.
Prayers this does work out and its just a small stepping "boulder" for you guys.
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


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## DDFN (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you guys for all your kind words. More then anything I just really need to vent. I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason so if it doesn't go through I will be ok with that but I really can not wrap my head around why my hubby wants to reduce the herd if the new farm falls through. To help set the picture of why I am having a hard time with this is the fact that the place we are currently renting is an 80 acre farm with plenty of mountain land for the goats to roam, play and have plenty of snacks. Now yes all of the sheds and fencing is temporary and it can make this unpleasant when working animals but that is all because he refused to do good fencing and sheds since we needed something easy to take down when the time came to move. So if we reduce the herd that is going to leave us with more farm chores for maintaining the land. We already have to mow more since the sheep are gone. I guess I just need to buy some round pens for the horses and move those through the unfenced fields to help with the need to mow. lol I have 5 acres of perfect pasture land that he will not let me fence here as he keeps saying he does not want to do any more work in rented land. . . 

Right now I am having to throw some milk out every day because I have more then i can use, but he shouldn't think that is a reason to cut back. Even if we cut back none of those girls would be sold. I even dried one doe off already and plan to dry another one up soon. So that would leave me 5 in milk instead of 6. I had 4 I was milking but I started some FF on the stand after weaning their kids. I don't know about you guys but I always toss milk in the beginning with first timers until they stand nice and let you clean them without kicking. He just doesn't seem to understand its not completely wasted milk as I feed it to the LGD puppies and use it as fertilizer too! I only have so much time to make cheese/soaps etc and these girls are great producers. 

Sorry I am just rambling on with my venting. I better start feeding so I can get my milking done before he gets home. I was so up set last night I didn't even cook dinner. . . I am not even sure if he ate anything  Guess I am being a bad wife right now 

Thanks for listening.


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

I understand and sometimes rambling/venting helps. It doesn't make you a bad wife, and I'm sure he understands you are both just really stressed.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

It is OK to vent, it helps. 

We are here for you.


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

I'm so sorry. I hope the loan people change their mind for you. 

As far as reducing the herd, I would just see what happens. I would think he wants a happy wife.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

So sorry you are going through this. I hope it works out in a way that makes you both happy :hug:


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

Oh my I got the worse news from the loan company yesterday too! Why do they do things on a Friday? We are praying for a miracle too. I cant go into details with my herd but lets just say its been a devastating year and I was so looking forward to starting over at our own place and bringing my goats home with me. I feel you pain and frustration over the loan situation. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who has come up with a plan B that still allows me to take my goats. And plan C that allows that as well. Its been quite a ride. Im on it with you :hug:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

So sad and disappointing, I hope things turn around for you soon.


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## DDFN (Jul 31, 2011)

Thanks guys. Well the realtor emailed me that the sellers wanted to see about doing a new deed to combine the two lots in order to see if the loan could be approved for it. So I thought I would hear something from her today but nothing yet. Fingers crossed.

Oh we both were pretty upset and needed some venting.  His best friend came over this weekend and told him nicely that he knew I wore the pants in the family :laugh: So it looks like we won't be cutting back on the herd just yet, but I do think we are going to put up the buckling I was going to retain this season.



StaceyRosado said:


> Oh my I got the worse news from the loan company yesterday too! Why do they do things on a Friday? We are praying for a miracle too. I cant go into details with my herd but lets just say its been a devastating year and I was so looking forward to starting over at our own place and bringing my goats home with me. I feel you pain and frustration over the loan situation. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who has come up with a plan B that still allows me to take my goats. And plan C that allows that as well. Its been quite a ride. Im on it with you :hug:


Stacey: I think they do it on Fridays to get a load off their chest so they don't have to hold it in all weekend (not sure). I am so glad your hubby has back up plans. Hubby's are great but some times I just get worked up. I love my hubby to the ends of the earth, back and all over again, but some times I do get upset (its a female thing I think).

I hope things do work out for your guys farm too! I just hate having to start all over again with the looking, putting in and waiting. Oh this current farm does have issues (neighbors dog and unexpected guests in the woods, long story), but for all in all it is the best fix for right now until things work out.


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

glad the seller is willing to work with you. Our seller is a pain! And get this, he is a pastor of a large church here in town! 

We still havent heard anything and may not for a couple days. Hate this. Hoping for some kind of news tomorrow, something like "yes we are looking into it and yes you have a chance to fight it" Thats all I want to know. Of course hearing we are approved would be just awesome but Im not expecting that tomorrow


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## DDFN (Jul 31, 2011)

Oh Stacey. I do hope they start to be a little nicer. A pastor at that should be easier to deal with then normal people but I guess he is not what I am use to seeing in a pastor.

Well our sellers are not really what I could call really nice, but motivated! They have two homes and their retirement is tied up in this farm. Sounds like they had a land dispute with the neighbors but we talked to the neighbors and they were very nice. They had been friends with the original owners and even had a gate joining their properties for easy visiting. They were even extremely happy when they found out we had goats! Current owners (aka sellers) didn't have pets/animals and took down the cross fencing etc.


I will keep our fingers crossed for the both of us!


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

DDFN , I have a feeling that things are going to work out for you 
Just by reading your last post , something tells me its gonna go in your favor ! Fingers and toes crossed for you all goes smoothly 

Stacy , good luck to you too ! Fingers and toes crossed as well


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

Yeah a pastor should be easier to deal with you would think. Especially after I basically told him we were a young Christian couple looking to buy our first home with our first child due in the fall!

Motivated seller is good. Glad the neighbors are agreeable.


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