# Just need to vent...



## kccjer (Jan 27, 2012)

My mother! OMG...I just want to slap her sometimes. Ok, I'm 51 and she's 76, but still! She is sooooo bad about playing favorites with grandkids. And I do mean bad about it. She has always favored my older brothers kids to an astonishing degree. We all know she does and we've learned to deal with it (more or less). Sad lesson for the other grandkids to learn, but they did and we have all survived.

Right now....her absolute favorite is a great-grandaughter. And she makes no secret of the fact, but if you call her on it she'll get mad at you. Mad is the same age as my daughter who would be a grand and not great-grand. This child can do no wrong....EVER. She is a liar, a manipulator, thief, etc....But my mother adores this kid. This summer she had Mad and her 2 step-brothers for the entire summer. Mom made no secret to the 2 boys that Mad was the favored one. I sat there and watched her ask the 3 kids if they made her mad...Mad says no and the 2 boys start to say "We don't mean to" and she would force them to say yes. ARRRGGHHH The parents of these kids are a mess....they have been arrested numerous times for DUI, non-payment of child support, etc. If the kids don't come out here for the summer, they are left home alone....so my parents feel obligated to take on the responsibility. My dad is in the beginning stages of Alzheimers and my mother has fibro, depression, diabetes, heart problems, etc. 

My mother absolutes HATES the oldest boy (same age as Mad). Yes, HATES him. Makes no secret of it. This family is planning on coming for Christmas and my mother wants to tell them NO...unless Chris doesn't come with them! She is now praying for a blizzard!! OMG...it makes me so angry! Everyone babies Mad...everyone except me and let me tell you, that gets me in a LOT of trouble with the family. Ok. Rant over. Maybe. I know there's really nothing I can do, but sometimes I just need to vent.


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## Axykatt (Feb 1, 2013)

That truly sucks.

My husband's family is the same way with his daughter. They completely ignore my son and barely recognize the daughter we have together while spoiling his older daughter and making her think she's the center of the universe. I refuse to allow birthday and Christmas presents if they don't get equally good ones for all three children, and I won't let them visit with only my husband and his daughter; it's all ir nothing. We are a family and I won't let them divide us like that.

What they don't realize is that they are turning that little girl into a monster! She lied about cleaning up the horse poops for the last week. When her father told her that the horse had less food because his poops were on top of it and asked her how she would feel if the horse starved to death she responded, "I'd be happy because I won't have to do the poops anymore. " I was horrified and my son couldn't eat because he was so upset by that.

My heart goes out to you. I hope your mother sees what she is doing before she ruins that child.


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## Axykatt (Feb 1, 2013)

Also, I know it's your mom, but SHAME ON HER for treating the boys that way. They are children and she is an adult. How would she feel if a step-grandparent treated her grandchildren that way? She should know better and unless she's an atheist she should know that God sees the hatefulness in her heart towards those children who are innocent and helpless. 

Sorry, but I feel very strongly about that. I spent every holiday alone from ages 12-17 because of my stepfather's family treating me the same way.


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

that's terrible. i'm sorry you have to deal with this. :hug:


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## kccjer (Jan 27, 2012)

It just makes me so damn angry. And I don't dare say anything to that side of the family (my older brothers kids) cause they just go back to her and "Aunt Carmen says..." and then she's pissed as hell at me. No one asks me anymore if I think Gma and Gpa should have kids all summer cause they don't like my answer. I'm the one who actually LIVES here! I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces every fall after that girl goes home! None of them do. None of them are going to be the ones taking care of the grandparents. ARRRGGGHHH....and then to have to deal with the favoritism on top of it? I've tried getting my mother to see that she does no favor to Mad by treating her the way she does, but all I get then is "that poor baby just has such a rough life". I'm just so upset....again...at her. Just makes me want to sit here and cry. And I agree wholeheartedly with your "Shame on her". She'll get mad at other people who do the same damn thing, but just can't see that she is just as bad.


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## Axykatt (Feb 1, 2013)

:hug:


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## ciwheeles (Apr 5, 2013)

That's just awful. Sorry your dealing with that. 

I love my grandparents but sometimes they get into that sort of thing with my cousin. They act like she's the most perfect of all of us and does no wrong. It is frustrating when I get together with my cousins and all that one talks about is drinking and partying at college, getting DUIs or getting arrested for stupid crap. Yet she's the "mature" and "smart" grown up out of all of us. My grandparents and her parents acted like she was perfect growing up and now she's something of a monster. Guess that's just how that goes..


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## sweetgoats (Oct 18, 2007)

WOW, I thought you were talking about MY MOM. 

She thinks her Step Grand kids are the next best thing to God and they are perfect and so successful. I have always seen it and so have my kids. When my kids were little and my hubby was in Walter reed hospital and I was here in Colorado, I needed her to watch the kids sometimes on Saturday. OH MY you would of thought I asked her to pay for their college or something. She did come out and tell me she raised her kids and she is done. BUT she would always baby sit the others. :wallbang:

She to this day doe NOT like my son at all. He was BIG into sports and could of played Baseball for college had he not gotten hurt, but she would NEVER go to a game but she NEVER EVER missed a Soccer game of theirs. To this day she says how stupid he is for joining the military. REALLY???????????

I am so sorry, I did not mean to Hijack this from you. I just feel like someone else knows what I am going through. 

I sure hope things get worked out but I hate to say it I am sure they will not. I guess she just has to deal with it.

Hugs


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

Unfortuneatly this happens all too often in families. You'd think they could hide the fact that they have favorites but they don't.
Try to teach your own that this is how life can be. That grandma has a problem. A huge problem. And it's not theirs to own for being ignored by an ignoramus.


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

kccjer said:


> I sat there and watched her ask the 3 kids if they made her mad...Mad says no and the 2 boys start to say "We don't mean to" and she would force them to say yes. ARRRGGHHH .


 I don't understand this part. I know you were upset when you wrote it but I don't understand what you meant here?


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## kccjer (Jan 27, 2012)

NubianFan said:


> I don't understand this part. I know you were upset when you wrote it but I don't understand what you meant here?


She was telling me that one of the boys had asked Mad what kind of a gma she was. Mad said "pretty nice unless you make her mad" Mom then looked at each of the kids and asked point blank "Do YOU make me mad?" Mad (short for madison) giggled and said "No". The oldest boy starts to say, "I don't mean to" and she glares at him and asks again....Do YOU make me mad? She just kept asking him that until he said yes. I thot it was pretty sad and only emphasized to the boys that Mad was special and they aren't.

Wow! I really just needed to vent. Sounds like there are a lot of us out there who needed it. I am so sorry you all deal with it too. Thanks everyone. I really needed the support today.


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## Scottyhorse (Feb 11, 2013)

My step grandma on my dads side favors my younger brother. Don't know why. She can be real mean to me but always super nice to him.


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

kccjer said:


> She was telling me that one of the boys had asked Mad what kind of a gma she was. Mad said "pretty nice unless you make her mad" Mom then looked at each of the kids and asked point blank "Do YOU make me mad?" Mad (short for madison) giggled and said "No". The oldest boy starts to say, "I don't mean to" and she glares at him and asks again....Do YOU make me mad? She just kept asking him that until he said yes. I thot it was pretty sad and only emphasized to the boys that Mad was special and they aren't.
> 
> Wow! I really just needed to vent. Sounds like there are a lot of us out there who needed it. I am so sorry you all deal with it too. Thanks everyone. I really needed the support today.


Ok I understand now, so she basically was bullying the boys


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. That is such a shame. Bad all the way around. :hug:


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## GoatieGranny (Jul 26, 2013)

I hurt for the kids. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
Hugs.


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

That is so wrong. I am sorry.  Prayers for all of you!


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## kccjer (Jan 27, 2012)

thanks everyone. And to everyone else dealing with this kind of stuff...(((hugs))) to all of you too. I just really needed a place to vent yesterday and knew I could here.

On a good note....when I make my mama mad she doesn't call me 10+ times a day!!! LOL Only got the one call from her yesterday! hehehe


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## MsScamp (Feb 1, 2010)

Well, there is an upside to the situation! :laugh: I'm sorry you and the kids are having to deal with this - it is just wrong. Unfortunately, I've seen it happen way too often and I don't have any words or wisdom for you.  Hang in there, hon! :hug:


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