# Feeling The Need To Vent!?



## animalfamily (Nov 23, 2012)

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but I feel the need to vent for a minute [or two ]; so Mods, if you find this innapropriate then please by all means feel free to delete this thread. 
I know I have said many times how nice everyone here has been since my joining TGS a while back. I try no to "gush" about it, but I have recently had an experience on _another_ forum that has made me appreciate my time here all the more.
I usually try and refrain from getting involved in disputes among people in forums. Don't ask me why but I didn't just walk away yesterday when I came upon a thread on this _other _forum. It is a forum for pet owners in general.
Someone made a post expressing some issues they were having with their pet and asking for advice. Granted they were facing some difficult decisions and not being the most tactful poster. This particular forum does not see much activity. It basically has about 4 or 5 active posters and they travel in a 'pack', so to speak.
Well needless to say the 'pack' were on this poster like you-know-what. 
A very abusive dialogue ensued from both parties. 
I should have just moved on, but instead I asked if maybe it was time for a Moderator to step in. Well the Mod did eventually step in but only to "thank" the 'pack' for their posts  [Not the response I was expecting].
So I made mistake number two, I made the following comment: "Sometimes if you can't say something nice, it's best not to say anything at all".
Well that DID Not set well with the pack. I tried to explain that the post was NOT directed at any one individual, but at the group as a whole.
I now found myself on the chopping block. I couldn't leave bad enough alone. I commented on another thread where they were burning another person at the stake. They had misread the thread, started slamming this persons' girflfriend, didn't know anything of the circumstances, and this person wasn't even seeking advice. He had just put his pet in the classifieds section because he needed to rehome.
There was a lot of name calling and absolute rude behaviour. Their defense being that they are SO compassionate about animals that they have to be stern when they see something that "ruffles their feathers". There is a BIG difference between being stern and what they are doing. It has escalated to the point I feel it is necessary to have my account deleted there.
So you wonder why did I choose to air this nastiness at TGS?
Well, I was here this morning doing my usual "browsing", having my usual "good ole time", and I came upon a thread. It was a thread that was somewhat similar to the thread on the other forum. I began to read the follow-up posts from TGS members. The response was so vastly different. I know this thread had to have sparked some emotions in most of you, but you maintained your composure, and replied with helpful advice. Resisting the urge to "lash out", but trying to provide some positive input. I might note that this is only speculation on my part. 
It made me appreciate my time here even more!! It also reaffirmed my decision to end my relationship with the other forum.
So while I resist the urge to "gush" too much about how nice everyone here has been, the feelings are still there!!
I'm known to take the internet with a grain of salt. It's not like it's the first time I've seen situations like this, but for some reason this one really disturbed me.
Thank you whoever takes the time to read this, I feel a little better now and I'm off to rid myself of what has had me so angered the past 24 hours, but be warned: "I'LL BE BACK"!!


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## JenVise (Dec 7, 2012)

Hugs to you!!!! Sorry you had such a bad experience. While I don't always agree with peoples actions or comments, I respect everyones opinions and input. People take time out of their busy lives to get on this forum and try to help each other... That kind of unselfishness warrants a lot of respect! I think some people also forget that the world we live in is not necessarily the world that other people live in. We do things differently here than some other places and vice versa... Who am I to say that one way is right or wrong over the other. We can only give heartfelt advice and pray that things turn out for the best. 
And I want to add that the mods here are outstanding. They are extremely knowledgable and I feel that they actually care about the members and their animals. Thanks mods for all of your hard work and dedication to this forum and it's members!!!! And thanks for keeping it "friendly and fun"!!!!


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## animalfamily (Nov 23, 2012)

Thanks JenVise for taking the time to read my rather lengthy dissertation, in other words, my blathering. ;D Thanks also for the kind words. I'm not in the habit of putting my 'stuff' out there, but something made me "just do it" today. Oops, I usually try to ignore those 'little voices' in my head!
You are absolutely right about the Mods here, they have been fantastic!!
I know it IS possible to make your point and remain polite, respectful, and compassionate, because I have seen it done here so many times!


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

you are right...there is passion about a cause then there is trashing...sounds like there was a lot of trashing...I sorry you got attacked....I hope you feel better now that you vented : ) sometimes its all we need to be able to move on..

Hugs...:hug:


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

I am so sorry that other forum was so negative  What a shame. Not a place I'd want to post. It's a good call to not go on there anymore, and get involved in that kind of outlook. 
So glad you are happy here 
When I first joined here, I was into horse racing forums only. Now, this is the only forum outside of facebook that I visit!
Similar experiences on the horse racing forum I used to use regularly... Every time you post your opinion on a horse, rider, race, or whatever, it seemed like the 'know it alls' would lash out and try to dissect your post and make you either look like an idiot, or just try to make you feel bad. I got so tired of seeing that, I just didn't want to read anymore, and definitely didn't want to get drawn into the drama. 
I haven't logged into that forum in probably 1-2 years.

This is home


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

There is nobody more frusterating than a know it all. They leave no room for grace or even attempt to understand where you're coming from. Because after all, they have been at it a whole lot longer.


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## milk and honey (Oct 31, 2010)

This is a unique gathering of goat lovers! And they range from those who live with their goats in the house ...to those who eat their goats. I've always appreciated the understanding for all "breeds" of goat owners here, and tolerance and encouragement that we all get here. Bravo TGS!


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## Selah123 (Mar 24, 2013)

I have also been impressed with this site in terms of respect. I also really appreciate that the moderators do moderate . There are definately some out of control sites out there where people are not careful of people's feelings. Sorry you had a bad experience.

So Big Thanks to all on this site and moderators


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## animalfamily (Nov 23, 2012)

See this is what I'm sayin'. You guys are so nice....you're apologizing for others' bad behaviors. Sheesh, I think I'm gonna puddle up!


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## oxhilldairy (Mar 24, 2013)

Were all just one big happy goat community! some of us being beginners others teachers and in the end everyone of us knows something different then the other,every little input could help save a life, in the end we all have different opinions but opinions are closely related to experiences god or bad we put them togeter like a puzzel to hellp eachother


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## PiccoloGoat (Sep 10, 2008)

That is just so sad! it's almost like the abusive nonsense fights that go on with teenage girls on facebook! :whatgoat:

It makes me so glad to have a community like this :3


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## animalfamily (Nov 23, 2012)

I don't "do" facebook except to promote our website, and I'm starting to rethink that decision. I hear a lot of people are starting to leave fb these days. Of course I don't know where they're going....
It makes me sad to think you have to worry about every little thing winding up on there. You don't even have to have an account to have you're 'laundry' aired  all over the place!


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

Oh wow, I would be leaving too. I don't think much of someone who has plenty of compassion for animals and none to spare for people.

You have to wonder if those know-it-alls really care about the animals, or if they just care about being right! They have to know that being mean to someone is the _worst_ way to get them to take advice - so, after all, they're not helping the animals they "care about" one bit.

I think this is a great site! I am so glad everyone here is so kind and tries to stick to the rules! :grouphug:


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## animalfamily (Nov 23, 2012)

I think you "hit the nail right on the head", milkmaid!!
Ya know, honestly, I didn't expect this thread to see so much activity, but I would like to thank you all for all of your input. I guess I am glad I went ahead and posted it. [I almost hit the delete button :/]


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## pubgal83 (Oct 31, 2012)

Wow, I just LOVE this place! Everyone here is so amazing. That really stinks that you had that experience and very glad that you know you can lean on everyone here, as do I.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

I am so sorry, the other forum is not friendly.  Glad you came back to us. 

TGS is made from kindness and caring members. Our team of mods, try really hard, to keep it friendly and fun. We do not condone, to any negativity behavior here. It is uncalled for, we are here to help, teach, and support, not bash. 

Any member that feels, they have to be unkind will get reprimanded for it. Whether it be a warning, to being banned. We watch for that and have our wonderful members watching and will report posts in question, we are all a team here.  We all have opinions, all are cherished, but not all are correct.


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## LonelyWillow (Jul 9, 2013)

Old thread I know, but that's why I got off yahoo answers. The rude people, the argumentative people, the people who don't have a clue what they're talking about but think they're right and you're wrong, then the people who will private message you to tell at you, people put you down a lot on their, and yes they work in packs.
The people in the dog section mostly. Any time some one had a pregnant dog they'd all attack that person in the worst way possible, call them backyard breeders, they should be in jail (among other things).
So yeah, I left yahoo answers. Way to much drama going on there, but the people asking the questions did appreciate me, but the other commenters were to much.
Yahoo answers does not have overseers, or moderators. So people 12 years old and sometimes younger would be verbally attacked by people!


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

I am only an active member on 2 forums, and the other I rarely go to although it is a good one for poultry.

I have learned to not even read responses to peoples video posts on other sites, since so many people are so rude and disgusting in their speech. I also have no tolerance for one minded people who's every answer is..."Take him/her to a vet"...Well, geez, I'd have never thought of that on my own! Thanks!... :/ Especially when the first thing someone posts in their thread is..."I cannot afford a vet right now...." and they still say it....so annoying. It's one thing if they ask " _Should_ I consult a vet"....but anyway.... 

I am very grateful to TGS. It's a forum I would allow my kids to join if they wanted to....although they get tired of hearing me talk about goats


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## LonelyWillow (Jul 9, 2013)

Ooh, I know! The vet thing is what really gets to me, because a lot of people say, they dont have the money. But they still say, " call a vet ", or they attack them for not having money for one, because apparently if you can't pay a vet you can't feed your dog.
Everyone in the dog section, and I mean EVERYONE, had the same answer, "take it to a vet" and every other commenter loves them. They become "top contributor" that way. And the guidelines of top contributor is having great knowledge in that area! 
I post something helpful and I might as well have jumped from a moving car, onto train tracks.....
BUT I was picked best answer a lot, so that make me feel better, and I did become top contributor in less than a week! I felt good about that, but I did leave because every other commenter hated me...

But TGS is great!


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## LonelyWillow (Jul 9, 2013)

Oh, and the other thing that really got to me, is the commenters answers regarding female dogs. It was "spay it", if the dog was pregnant "gavid spay it" or "abort the puppies" just so many things like that. Really got to me, they wouldn't even read the question, I swear if the word "female" and "dog" were in the same question, they say spay it.
Lots of foul language went with it too. Yahoo Answers is not a friendly place. I do not recommend them.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Yep, I totally agree!

If only people with tons of money owned animals...they'd all be going extinct.And hey, if I didn't own my animals, i would have the money for the vet... LOL!

Mine have food, shelter, companionship, are kept clean and I do what I can medically for them if they need it. If I have the money at the time they need a vet, great! But if not, I have an obligation to make some choices, and some I may not like. People in this country sometimes go way overboard on animal care, IMO, I mean, _manicures for dogs??!_ Ridiculous, IMO. 

Not to mention, there are humans who can't get medical attention from a doc...I'd worry more about them than an animal that is being cleaned,well fed and has good housing but needs a yearly "check up"!


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## LonelyWillow (Jul 9, 2013)

I agree, my family can't get medical care because we have more than $2000 worth of assets. Um, who doesn't?! That's kinda the point of working, to have things. 
For crying out loud, people's poodles cost more than that!


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

LOL  True,true....

I think you plan on knowing you can feed them,shelter them, and give the basic medical care and go from there. No one can know if the money they set aside is enough or not....some procedures are insanely expensive, and animals are unpredictable and you can have a lot go wrong all at once or nothing for a long time.So love them, feed them, and care for them to the best of your abilities, and you're good


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

I agree this is a very nice and informative forum and group of people I am thankful to have found TGS. I have one other forum I go to that is just as nice it isn't for goats though. I used to be on horse forums and I quit them all because horse people seem to like to run each other down. Especially if you don't show. I have had horses since I was five and know a great deal about them. I can always learn more, but I never have shown and have no desire to show. It just isn't' my thing. I wasn't ever personally attacked on the horse forums but I saw a lot of others attacked. I have to say since those experiences I am more wary what I say on any forum. 
But I am glad there are good forums like TGS and the other forum I visit now.


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