# Yes, a rant, but you might learn something...



## MissMM (Oct 22, 2007)

I used to be very active in these message boards... i was on the verge 0f inherting 160+ acreas of the family farm.... and needed to learn whatever I could a.s.a.p..... I knew the grandparents were ailing in their health & needed family up here.... my corporate job was going away to those over the ocean in india..... so I moved back home to be a caregiver for both... I did very well by them.... and at the same time i had full use of the farm and went from 4 Pygora does to 26. 14 does and 6 bucks + wethers..... at any rate, yes, we were "willed" the property and fullfilled their wishes for caretaking duties...far and above what they would have gotten in residentail care.... then we find out there is $360,000 owed against the property because they mortgaged it for their other financial 'venues...." basically gambling scenerois.... My point is before you let family heart strings determine your course in life...... please get it in writing.... " Yes, you may know you did it right..... but if you have to give up critters because you didn't know the whole story.... that really, really, really sucks.... never assume you are in the clear just because you listened to your "altruistic voice....".... Thank you for reading... this is a work in progress..... I didn't even mention the other "siblings" that are fighting for the monetry value they have coming to them from the sale of the property..... I will just breathe now and hope there is someone out there that understands my frustration....


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

Oh my, I am so sorry. It must just be awful going through that. What a horrible situation. I hope that you can eventually move on and find a place so you can have animals again. :hug:


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## CAjerseychick (Sep 21, 2013)

Yes inheritance and parental duties is a tough one. In our case we would be willing to provide the care here ( we have an inlaw) but they chose to move to Florida to help another sib out with her 3 kids.... And now they need care, but there they are, 4000 miles away and sib and hubby both work full time and are too busy the kids....

Choices, choices, just because they are your parents (I am learning this) does not really mean they know/knew better... to make good ones......


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

Im very sorry you have gone through this hardship 
Prayers for strength. I hope you can find happiness
once again with your family beloved animals.


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## AmyBoogie (May 20, 2013)

I'm very sorry you're going through this. My family has not been without inheritance issues. It's rather crazy and has made me push for remaining living ones to be explicitly clear in their wishes and LEGAL. I've watched it get really crazy and watched the deceased wishes get shoved aside for greed. It's a shame and again I'm sorry this has happened to you.


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## enchantedgoats (Jun 2, 2013)

i am somewhat familiar with that kind of thing. my best friend moved back home to take care of his parents. they owned 3 farms properties and it was him and his brother. well, his mother passed away. all her assets were left to the father. then the brother dropped dead, but not before he had convinced the father to mortgage all the properties so that he could buy fancy cattle. my friend knew none of this until his father passed, and within 24 hours of his death the bank served my friend with foreclosure papers on all the property and cattle. so my friend lost all of his inheritance, except for 7 acres and his rather ramshackle house. so he had left a great job to move back home and worked in a factory, which he wil have to contnue as the small peoperty he has left is mortgaged. so as missmm says be sure of what you are getting yourself into. my friends brother really stuck it to him.


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

i'm so sorry you're going through this. keep strong! :hug:


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## KW Farms (Jun 21, 2008)

Sorry you have to go through that. Thank you for sharing. :hug:


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## MsScamp (Feb 1, 2010)

I am very sorry you are having to deal with this. Family is great, but no one can screw you over quite like family can. I've heard enough of these horror stories over the years that I decided a long time ago to adopt the outlook/attitude that if I didn't buy it and have full legal control over it, it is not mine and I don't even consider "what if" situations. I'm currently trying to get things lined out so I can get my own small place. My folks are 80 and 83, and who knows what will happen when they retire or are no longer here.


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## MissMM (Oct 22, 2007)

Thank you all for 'reading' my moment if weakness. Sometimes if you just don't 'let go,' it consumes you. Yes, in hindsight it was incredibly ignorant to just dive in, do the absolute best I could and believe all would work out. I guess my consolation is even if all goes 'worst case scenario," I did the right thing by taking care of family when it was needed because that is most important. I see my mistake now.... that was the 'expectation' of something in return. My goodness, some lessons take a long time to learn. Now, I'll 'let go and let God...' if it's meant to be, it will work out somehow.


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

You are right!! You did the right thing by your family. In the end, That is what matters...it doesnt take all the sting out of the situation..and I wish you all the best in it..hugs


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

You both have said it perfectly ! Again , Im so sorry you went through this and I hope it all works out for you. You must know that your heart was in the right place and to feel good about what you have done.


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## MsScamp (Feb 1, 2010)

MissMM said:


> Thank you all for 'reading' my moment if weakness. Sometimes if you just don't 'let go,' it consumes you. Yes, in hindsight it was incredibly ignorant to just dive in, do the absolute best I could and believe all would work out. I guess my consolation is even if all goes 'worst case scenario," I did the right thing by taking care of family when it was needed because that is most important. I see my mistake now.... that was the 'expectation' of something in return. My goodness, some lessons take a long time to learn. Now, I'll 'let go and let God...' if it's meant to be, it will work out somehow.


Hey, I think it would be safe to say we've all been there. Yes, some lessons are very hard to accept. Are you familiar with the saying no good deed goes unpunished? Unfortunately, that proves to be true way too often. I sincerely hope things work out and you achieve everything you set out to do. I wish you the very best!


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Prayers sent


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## MissMM (Oct 22, 2007)

Hey... you know... I decided I wan't going to post a single thing anywhere until we found out how this was going to work out..... "just let go and let God..." why do anything else? Now we have the farm of our dreams - we never expected to actually end up with it based on what everyone had told us..... so we will let go again and see where it lead us......  !!! :angel:


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## Elmgrovegoat (Oct 21, 2014)

Hopefully I don't see myself in this. I just moved back to my parents farm, it has been in the family ever since it has been built. I'm the fifth generation. I have two older brothers and two older sisters, but all seem to want to keep the farm intact. We have had sibling discussions and know where everyone else stands. My parents are in their 80's and we have beef cattle that I take care of, and currently added two goats. My wife has a few acres, as a fall back, if something happens here on the farm with my sibs. I told her to keep it, don't sell it because you never know... Sorry to hear about your problems, it definitely sucks


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

MissMM, so glad you now have your farm. Even if it takes a long time, it usually works out for your best in the end.


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## sassykat6181 (Nov 28, 2012)

Glad to hear things are working out for you


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Very devastating and though to go through. :hug:


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## AncientBlue (Dec 21, 2014)

Wow. I really hope it all works out for you. I wish I had real advise to offer. I'm sorry and my heart goes out to you.


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## MissMM (Oct 22, 2007)

Hey.... we did "let go and let God...." it worked.... and now the world is at our feet.... but we didn't have faith enough to make an operations plans as to what to do after the "unattainable" happened..... now we are scrambling...... at it's awesome ......


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## MissMM (Oct 22, 2007)

To follow up... (obviously I don't get time often to do so).... we did "let go and let God..." and we now own the property (mortgaged but still).... wow...now what? Lol... never thought we would get to this point.... just so happy I had to share ....


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## MissMM (Oct 22, 2007)

You know. I d

on't regret a single thing .... even if things hadn't gone in our favor, I wouldnever have felt right in my own "skin"..... just do what's right folk and it will come back around ....


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

So glad things worked out for you. His timing always turns out to be the best. It is good to always do the right thing. Remember Joseph's story? You may not end up with all kinds of earthly treasures but well worth it to do the right thing.


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## R.Williamson (Mar 21, 2019)

I am really happy things worked out for you. It may not be the way you imagined but it's working out. My prayers and best wishes are with you !


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)




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