# Going to Disneyland but not happy and home again



## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

A little background. My hubby and I are Disneyland fanatics. We go way too often and spend too much money there. In 2006 we met a couple while at the Parks. We are so much alike that we call each other *The Clones*. (Sometimes even co-spouses.) Not only that, but one of the many weird coincidences is that we live only 10 minutes apart. Needless to say, we have been pretty much inseparable for the past 5 years.
In 2009 the wife was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer. It has been a hard two years with all the usual, bi-lateral mastectomy, chemo and radiation. She has been doing well for nearly a year. Until now.
The prognosis is not good. I just heard from them today. It is in her bones. They are still going to do more treatment but I have been through this before. We are being as supportive as possible as they are upbeat Christians and I know they will fight to the end. But, as I said, we have been here before with friends and relatives and none of them thought they would die. They all did.
They are taking a trip to Disneyland this weekend before treatment starts. My husband has been out of work for a long time and they said they wished we could come but knew we couldn't. HUH??!!?? We have credit cards.
This will be bittersweet to say the least. They have been together since Jr. High and are totally devoted to each other. I picture us breaking into tears at regular intervals. It is Columbus Day weekend so it will be crowded and the Park closes early for the Halloween party. But we will be there together. Maybe for the last time. :tears:


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## Willow (Jun 12, 2011)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

I hope that you go. And have joy in the moment. It is a precious bonus. You wont regret going...ever...even though there will be hard moments. Who can help but smile and laugh at Disney! :grouphug:  ray:


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## freedomstarfarm (Mar 25, 2011)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

:hug: Hard loosing those close to you. Try and enjoy knowing that you get to spend that quality time together.


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## cdtrum (Aug 25, 2008)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

What good supportive friends you are, I'm sure it will be a bittersweet weekend.....but years from now you will be so thankful you went and have the memories......not to mention how much it means to your friends.......Go have fun and try not to think to hard about the cancer, there will be time for that when you get home......HUGS!


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## goatnutty (Oct 9, 2007)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

I have been in similar situations many times, and like everyone says try the best you can to make the most of this trip. The memories will last forever and you will be glad to have them. :hug:


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

Oh wow, I can't even put into words... just heartbreaking  I am so sorry your friend is going through this, how lousy that the cancer spread. 
Just try not to think about it when you are there, have fun, and live for the moment, I am guessing that is what your friend is going to want. A special day to get away from the problems of reality, and just have fun. I am sure the tears will come, but hang in there and live the day to it's fullest. 
Many thoughts and prayers that your friend can overcome this, and suffering will not be great.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

I am so sorry that this has happened... 

Go to Disneyland and try to enjoy and celebrate life..it is so precious... enjoy that time together.... :hug: ray:


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## Mandara Farm (Sep 12, 2010)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

I'm so sorry. Like everyone has said, I hope you do go and enjoy the moment. Situations like this may be as hard on the friends as the person who has the diagnosis -- but I don't have to tell you this, you already know. You've already been through it before. So when you go and meet your friend, you'll be bringing not only your love for her but also the wisdom and compassion hard-gained from the past. What gifts you will bring when you walk through the gates at Disneyland :hug:


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. They left early this morning for 5 days. We are going from Sun-Tues. It is a 6 hour drive and we will be leaving buttcrack-of-dawn early Sunday and then drive home after park closing on Tuesday. This is how we used to do it when we were younger but it is harder now. But I have a play to attend on Wed and hubby has obligations. Hope we can get enough sleep to pull it off.



Mandara Farm said:


> What gifts you will bring when you walk through the gates at Disneyland


That made me cry. But thank you, it is so true on a number of levels.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*



> Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. They left early this morning for 5 days. We are going from Sun-Tues. It is a 6 hour drive and we will be leaving buttcrack-of-dawn early Sunday and then drive home after park closing on Tuesday. This is how we used to do it when we were younger but it is harder now. But I have a play to attend on Wed and hubby has obligations. Hope we can get enough sleep to pull it off.


Your very welcome... :hug:

Here's to giving you the strength ......where dreams do come true... ray: :hug:


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## Mandara Farm (Sep 12, 2010)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

Blessings for a wonderful trip! (and don'cha just LOVE a road-trip???)
:hug:


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

I do love road trips. We have been hoping to take a small one but have not been able to what with it being breeding season and all. But I think they can hang for 3 days and our son knows what to do. (Though last year when we were in Washington in October our 7mo got bred accidentally.) This year we have two fences between the buck and does so he will have to be really determined to accomplish that again.
I am nearly packed. We are hoping to leave in the wee hours of the morning now.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

*Re: Going to Disneyland but not happy*

:hug: ray:


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

We survived and I am not quite sure how. I just want to vent a little and thanks for listening. :sigh: 
We went to bed a little too late on Sat. I woke up at 2AM and knew I was done sleeping so got up and started the coffee and got myself together. We knew we would get there way too early for our hotel so had to be dressed for the Parks.
I drove for 2.5 hours. I got the hubby to do about 1.5 and I had to do the rest. At this point I had accumulated maybe an hour's sleep for the night. We actually were in Disneyland and had done some rides before our friends got there. They had slept in because they know we do not like to drive all night. 
This is where it gets weird but I know it is *normal*. They are usually surounded by friends when they get down there. When word gets out that all four Clones are in the Park together; we have so many mutual friends show up that we hardly get to spend time together. This is why we were shocked to hear that none of the people they had contacted had responded.
I know it is normal. When someone first gets cancer everyone is there and supportive. Once that terminal diagnoses shows is ugly face friends drop like flies. I have seen it happen as people just cannot face their own fears or just do not know how to act or whatever. :shrug: Everybody finally showed up the last 3 hours of the last day. It was like if they showed up together and for not too long; it would not be too uncomfortable.
Then there was the money. The financial powers-that-be were most definately _*NOT*_ on our side. Our son could have gotten us tickets for $99 instead of the $214 each we paid; but we did not have time to coordinate the pick-up. We have a free night coming from Hotels.com and I forgot to click the button and had to pay for both nights. _THEN_, the last day the hotel would not let us leave our car past 3 and we were staying until 6 so had to pay $15 to park.
Vent over and now the fun stuff. We got to spend a lot of real quality time together. We managed 6 hours sleep the first night and 4 the next. We had early entry and we not going to waste it. Were up at 5:45AM. We had planned to nap before the drive home but ran out of time. By this time we were running on pure auto-pilot. We should not have been standing let alone driving. But drive home we did without even nodding. In fact, there was a trucker swerving all over the road and we managed to get his attention hoping he would pull over before killing someone.
We also ate way too much Park food but we were careful with our ordering. But with the way we live we know that shiny red, waxed apple is not truly health food.LOL
The first day was the hardest as we all walked on eggshells as we vaccummed around that elephant in the living room. We all knew why we were there but did not want to talk about it. We relaxed by that evening and spent our time laughing and doing what Clones do best. Getting maximum ridage. It was just the four of us as we group hugged goodbye with minimal tears. Plans were in the making for when she goes into remission. We will keep praying that will happen. She has two doctor's appointments today so hopefully we will know more by tomorrow.
Rod had to work Wed and I had to meet Red Hat friends for a play that was an hour drive away. (At this point we had managed about 11.5 hours sleep in 4 days.) How I stayed awake all day I will never know. Today's plan includes a nap. But first, I have to go out to greet my babies. I have not been to the barn yet. :sleeping:


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## Randi (Apr 22, 2011)

:hug: :grouphug: ray: I pray for all of you.


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## freedomstarfarm (Mar 25, 2011)

:hug: Glad you went and had some good time together. 
Get some rest.


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## Mandara Farm (Sep 12, 2010)

Sounds like a very heartful trip -- sorry to hear the financial gods were not on your side, but glad you enjoyed the time together and all made it home safe. Prayers for your friend's recovery and remission ray:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Happy you enjoyed yourselves....  it is good to get away and forget the bad for a while.....it is so worth it..... now the rest is much needed and deserved... :hug: ray:


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

toth boer goats said:


> now the rest is much needed and deserved


But very temporary LOL. My son does okay with the goats but I feel they have been neglected. (Not really, just not up to my very high standards.) I could not open the gate yesterday to give them treats as the lined up so tight to see me I could not get in. :slapfloor: Then last night I separated all the kids so I had to milk all four this morning and Star and Halo were in raging heat and neede to visit the boys. :lovey: hlala: :lovey: I am making pudding and need to make a run to the feed store. Life does go on. 
And then I got a call yesterday that my aunt had died. No worries, she was 94, at peace with her God and ready to go. Just another reminder of our own mortality and how precious life is.


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

:hug: I am glad you got the special time with them!
Your goaties missed you...


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