# Sad horse advice



## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Hi, everyone. I just had to put one of my dearest friends, my horse Rusty, to rest today. His herd-mate, Doc, is crying and pacing for him. He usually does not have separation anxiety, but I think he knows something is wrong.

We are looking for a horse buddy to give him, but for now, is there any way we can help support Doc through his grieving? He has free-choice hay right now ... is there anything else we can give him, or do for him? He doesn't want physical comfort.


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

What about some herbs? Not sure which ones but I'm sure there are a couple to settle him down.

Sorry about Rusty.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

That may be a good idea. Maybe some lavender on his nose.


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## ciwheeles (Apr 5, 2013)

So sorry for your loss.  I hope someone chimes in with some advice for you.


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

I don't have any advice to give, but wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Thank you both.  He was my first love, and I will never forget or stop missing him...


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## J.O.Y. Farm (Jan 10, 2012)

So sorry Daniele  :hug:

I agree with the herbs though...


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## KW Farms (Jun 21, 2008)

Sorry for your loss. I had to put down one of my horses the other day. Very tough.

Did the two horses ever get separated or were they always together? This sounds weird, but what might help (if you still have Rusty's body), is to put it near Doc's pen or inside his pen even if possible...let him look at, smell, touch, etc. the body if he wants. This might help him realize that his friend is not coming back. If he was really attached to the horse, he will act depressed, but they get over it fairly quickly and move on. I've seen mares that have lost foals. You want to leave the dead foal in with the mare for half to a whole day to let the mare accept and understand what has happened. Once they do and you take the foal away, they are usually okay with it. If you take it away without letting them go through the process, then they are very upset. So letting Doc see his friend maybe it will help him understand what is going on and that may calm him down a lot. Once he has become more quiet, then take away the body. That can be hard for the owner to see, but really it can be healing for the buddy. Maybe give that a try if you can.


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## J.O.Y. Farm (Jan 10, 2012)

That is a very good idea too Kylee.. I have heard of that.. And I can see how it would help them... 

Sorry for your loss too Kylee :hug:


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Rusty is being buried now, so unfortunately we cannot do that ... that was wonderful advice though, and thank you so much for it. Next time, I will try to see that the animals can see their friend. I can see how that would give them closure.

They were almost always together, but sometimes we would take one on a trail ride and the other would be in the pen. Doc was always the calmer being alone.

I am sorry for your loss as well, Kylee ... it is so hard.


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## WalshKidsGoats (Nov 27, 2012)

I'm so sorry! That is a very hard thing to go through


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

When I lost Polly, Fire literally shed tears for her and paced the field and he knew she had passed he was there when it happend and was allowed to see the body. He mourned her for a couple of years til we got another horse. The best thing is another horse, if you can't get one right away the next best thing is you. Go out and pet him, talk to him, just be with him, he is lonely and grieving just like a person. If a neighbor or friend has a horse you can borrow til you get another that would be good too. But he is going to mourn for a while, he just will....


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

Oh and I am truly sorry you had to put one of your horses down, that is always super hard.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Thank you. We are actively looking, but I don't want to rush, it has to be the right fit for us. He does have the goats next door, at least ... and we will be sure to give him extra love and TLC. We are all mourning together in our own ways. Even the goats are quiet in respect.


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## Axykatt (Feb 1, 2013)

Do you have a particularly confident, good natured goat you can put in with him? My Charlie was very sad and lonely when he was separated from his herdmates when he was rescued. The ppl who kept him while he was waiting for a home said he wouldn't eat much and was very depressed. From the moment her first met Peggy Sue he has followed her everwhere and he has been a very happy boy so long as he isn't separated from his goats. 

So sorry for everyone's losses. :hug:


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

That is a wonderful idea, Axykatt, but I'm not confident Doc would be safe for them. He's a very playful horse who enjoys chasing and nipping his friends. It's all in good fun, but I'm afraid it would hurt one of the goats.


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## Axykatt (Feb 1, 2013)

Wish you were closer, I'd let you take Charlie til you were ready for another horse. His gardening duties are over for the year so he's free to pursue horse stuff.


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## .:Linz:. (Aug 25, 2011)

So very sorry, Danielle. 

Do you have any Rescue Remedy? If you do, or can get some, I think that would help.


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## AmyBoogie (May 20, 2013)

I'm so sorry for your loss Danielle.

Herbs are the only thing I can think of if he can't be around the goats. Would supervised goat visits work? It breaks my heart when animals grieve so deeply


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

I too am sorry for your loss...its never easy even when its best for our animal friends....
all great advice...I agree with lavender on his nose...it does help...lots of TLC and time..hopefully you will find a new buddy soon who will be a perfect fit for all...


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Thank you everyone, the support means everything. The goats are next to him, I may bring Gypsy up to touch noses and make him feel less alone. The only herbs I have on hand right now are the goat dewormer and Rusty's joint herbs ... but I may buy something specifically to soothe him, like that rescue remedy. We have the lavender too, going to ask mom about that. Poor baby is still crying on and off, but doesn't seem to be running anymore, and has eaten some of his lunch.


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

this may sound stupid, but go tell him what happened, I think they understand more than we realize. I always tell my animals when I am going on vacation that I am coming back and who will be taking care of them while I am gone and I tell them when I take them to the vet why I am doing it.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Leslie, I will do that. He actually started to quiet when he saw me walking back, and he looked at my face. I think that's when he knew Rusty wasn't hurt ... he was gone.


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## LGFarm (May 30, 2013)

Do you have any horsey friends that might have an extra horse that they can loan you until you find a new friend? 

Sometimes they do know, my mare did, but she also knew my gelding wasn't going to make it, so she went and sulked. But I also had another mare, so she also had another friend and wasn't alone either. But when the mare went, I borrowed a gelding buddy off of a friend until we found a permanent buddy.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

My mom (Doc is her horse) talked to him about it, and took him to and around the grave site. 

Will have to look into the temporary horse buddy.


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## .:Linz:. (Aug 25, 2011)

If you decide to buy the Rescue Remedy, Natural Healthy Concepts is the cheapest place I've found to buy it online. http://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/rescue-remedy-pet-p-bach.html A local pet store might have it, though.


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## Thecowboysgirl (Aug 28, 2012)

I second to let him see the body...then he would understand. But sounds like it is too late. 

When I let my beloved horse go, we brought the herd stallion out and put him in a pen right next to where we did it. He saw my boy go. Everyone handled it really well. That might sound kind of barbaric but rest assured it wasn't, this stallion was an incredible spiritual being and we all felt that he needed to be present and he was right there doing his zen thing. 

But I did go through something similar when a gator got one of my dear little NDs last summer. Her sister wailed and paced looking for her, they were like peas in a pod. I couldn't show her Penny's body...even I wasn't allowed to see it (hubby said it was too awful and he didn't want me to remember her like that)

There are always free/cheap horses/ponies/minis/donkies on Craigslist. Save a life if you need a new equine to keep this one company.

Hang in there--these things can be devastating! The cliché is true...it really does get better with time


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

He was within eye shot, so he did see it happen. But with him running, we didn't want to risk him pulling away from us in the woods as we brought him to see Rusty. It was something we couldn't handle on top of the grief. But we did explain to him the best we could, and we brought him to the grave sight and let him smell it -- he knew that was where Rusty had gone down.

We have looked at the rescues.  I don't want to rush getting the next horse. I want him to have company, but the next horse has to be the right fit; calm, sane, and capable of being ridden. We do have money for it, now we just have to find the right one. Until then, we will be keeping him company the best we can, and the doe yard is right next to his own. Not the same, I know, but with an important decision like adding another horse to the family, I just don't want to rush it.

I'll look into the Rescue Remedy, for sure. Mom just went out again to ride him around the site.


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

I wouldn't rush finding another horse either. You want the right fit, and you risk getting him attached to another horse that you won't be keeping if you end up with a nutcase. He will grieve, he just will, as people we do too, others can help us some but it is just a process we must go through. Your mom spending time with him now is what is best. He will be so happy when you find the right horse again, you will almost forget how sad he is now.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

We have someone we know will let us borrow their horse, so if we find the search is taking a while, and Doc really needs a companion sooner than we can buy one for him, we will borrow that horse and let them hang out until we have his permanent friend.


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## lazykranch (Dec 18, 2012)

You would be surprised how horses and goats bond. My 20 yr old gelding loves my sons boer goat buck. He loves nibbling his ears and scratching his head. Yes he does get a bit rough sometimes but that buck loves it. Keeps him entertained. This fall the buck left for a month to breed some does at another farm and I almost had to go get him back. My horse whinney'd for him and searched the field for days. I had to do a lot of comforting for awhile. When the buck came back he walked into the barn and ran right to my horses. They haven't been apart since. You can see they truly are friends.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

I believe it! But my Nigerians are just too small for our very rambunctious pony ... he plays too rough. 

Happy to report that Doc and Belle, our new mare, have bonded very nicely. We all miss Rusty deeply, but have found company and friendship in Belle.


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

I'm so glad it worked out!


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