# Goat funnies and other humorous stuff.



## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

I read this on the net awhile back. Thought it was hilarious. But then I've been accused of being somewhat twisted.  

Two boys were hiking on a trail in the woods and came across a really deep looking hole. One of the boys picked up a rock and tossed it in and they both stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. Nothing. 
That just made them all the more curious so they decided to throw in something bigger. After finding a larger rock they tossed it in as well with the same result. Nothing.

Totally intrigued they decided to see what else they could throw in. About then one of them spotted a large log. Working together they drug it over and slid it in. At about the same time a big goat came streaking by and jumped straight down the hole. Both boys stood there totally amazed. After awhile they shook their heads and decided they better head home for supper.

On the way out they came on a farmer who said he was looking for a stray goat. The boys eagerly told him all about the crazy goat who ran up and jumped into the hole. After listening to their fascinating tale the farmer shook his head and said,"Nope, that couldn't have been my goat cuz mine was tied to a big ol log."


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

*Re: Funny Goat Stuff.*

Then there's the old stand bys;

What do you call a milk goat who doesn't give any milk?
An udder failure!

What do you call a goats beard?
A goatee!


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

*Re: Funny Goat Stuff.*

And lets not forget the one about the "light haired" goat owner who bought two Pyrenees to help guard her goats.

When her friend came over she was told that their names were Rolodex and Timex.

"Those are pretty strange names for dogs aren't they" asked her friend? No they're not! said the "light haired" goat owner. "They're watch dogs aren't they?"


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## Young Daddy Goat (Dec 21, 2008)

*Re: Funny Goat Stuff.*

_Here's another one that has been around the block a few times..._

Gary and Gus drive home after a big night out when a buck goat jumps into the road. Gary tries to avoid it but can't stop in time. Gus, a great animal lover, jumps out the car and gives the goat artificial respiration and revives him.

"I think he's going to be fine," Gus informs Gary, "But he needs medical attention. We'll have to put him in the car to take him to the vet."

Gary objects: "What about the terrible stinking smell in my car?"

Gus replies "Not a problem. We'll hold the buck's nose!"

:mrgreen:


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

Two kids from Weippe meet each other walking down main street toward each other. One of the boys is carrying a big lumpy sack. When they get close to each other, one says, "Hey, Billy Bob, what's in the sack?" 

"Oh...just some little baby goats."

"If I guess how many are in the bag can I have one?" 

"Sure, I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm......, three?"


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

A guy rushes into the Veterinarians office with a very limp goat and tells the Vet "Hurry, you need to save him". The Vet checked the goat out and said "I'm sorry there isn't anything I can do, he's already passed away."

The guy refused to believe that his goat died and told the vet he wanted a second opinion. The Vet left and returned a minute later with a Labrador retriever who sniffed the goat, gave one bark and left the room. Then the Vet brought in a cat and set it near the dead goat. The cat sniffed the goat all over, meowed and left the room. Then the Vet handed the guy a bill for $500. "What are you charging me $500 for?" Screamed the guy. "Well" said the Vet, "Originally it would have been $50 but you requested some Lab work and a Cat scan."


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

Goat for Dinner.

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. 

While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. 

"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner."


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. 
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through 
the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. 
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 
'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' 

She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?' 

A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!'


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## Mt.goatguy (Dec 2, 2011)

Those really got me smiling thanks I plan on using them on the trail with people I meet.

My biggest concern out with the goats are dog owners and banning of goats here in Montana due to stuff that like what is happening in Alaska.

So if we can share goat jokes and educate people about goats with people we meet out on the trail it may make the right first impression.

Thanks,
Joe


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