# I need a hug...



## caprine crazy (Jun 12, 2012)

I feel so...I don't know how to put it. Everybody at school and now my mom and dad have said that I complain about everything. It's like they won't leave me alone about it. It feels like I'm being nagged. I used to not see it that way, but now I'm beginning to get my eyes opened a little. I don't even know how long I've been like this. I don't even know what to do about it! I have tried so hard here recently to not complain about certain things. Today in Spanish class everyone was crowding around my desk waiting for the bell to ring. (My desk is right by the door...)I spoke up and asked why everyone was crowding around my desk. This girl spoke up and was like,"Well _maybe_it's because your desk sits right by the door," with the crappiest attitude ever. I told her,"You don't need to be a bit** about it." She then responded with," You don't have to bit** about everything." It's not like I was bit***** about anything!I just wanted to have a little space! My heart sank, I didn't even know what to say. I felt like I had put so much work into doing better, but it hadn't done me any good. I'm at a loss as to what to do about my attitude...


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

Here's a :hug: for you! I so feel your pain. I too have a bad habit that I cannot seem to break, no matter how hard I try. I ask God to free me from it, and I do better for a while, but then I go right back to it. I have noticed that when I pray, the temptation leaves. It's just a matter of wanting to break it badly enough to pray. I *like* my habit and I don't want to let it go...and at the same time, I hate its guts! I will pray for you...will you pray for me?


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## NavaBoerFarm (Dec 15, 2012)

It sounds to me like you need to keep your mind on more positive things. I recommend you read the book; DON'T SHOOT THE DOG by Karen Pryor (I'm not kidding I really recommend it) it'll give you a different point of view of things at the very least. Good luck


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## NavaBoerFarm (Dec 15, 2012)

Oh yeah and here's a hug :hug:


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## MollyLue9 (Oct 14, 2012)

Sounds like you're a teen like me  life stinks sometimes, and I will pray for you as well too. Gosh, this past year has been so great and so bad for me. Millie had her first babies but my Grandma "Ully" died so my Grandpa moved in with us and while the goats are great my horse has been spacing herself from me and we have to put our pony down soon. So teenage years stink but we'll get through them with God's help


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## sweetgoats (Oct 18, 2007)

I know people like that. I will say it is not fun to be around someone that is always saying something negative.

Try to think before you say anything like the comment about the desk. I do understand about feeling crowed but I am sure it was not for long. try to stop and always find something positive to think or say. My daughter complains a lot also and I have told her about it but she did not believe me until her boyfriend told her it also. She decided to stop and look back at thing s and could see it.

I am not making excuses for her because there is no excuse but she is so stressed with college, full credit hour,s 4.0 GPA working 40 + HOURS AT ONE JOB, two hours at another job Mon-Friday and getting ready to start her internship. SO make sure you are not over doing it.

Ask the lord to help you. That works everytime


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## Delilah (Jan 6, 2013)

:hug: I'm sorry yeah I know that sort of thing stinks....actually something similar happened to me recently and then the last two days haven't been the greatest. Hope it gets better!


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## Used2bmimi (Oct 3, 2012)

It takes people a long time to notice a change and even longer to forget an old attitude. You had a setback, it is not the same thing as a failure. You should be proud that you are working on changing such a difficult habit and accept that you will have a few setbacks along the way. Eventually people will notice that you have become more positive. That said, teenage girls are MEAN and will often find the one thing to say that will cut you to the core. So, don't evaluate your success by the opinions and actions of anyone other than your friends and family. Here is a big HUG, and encouragement to keep trying.


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

You know, people saying to think more positively reminds me of a time several years ago when I realized that I was complaining too much - about the weather and about other people, mostly.
I read an anecdote about a woman who was complaining about her daughter-in-law to a friend. Her friend said, "You are looking for the flaws in her. Everybody has flaws and if you look you will find them. Try looking for her virtues instead." The woman did so, and soon saw that her daughter-in-law was a treasure.
I didn't want to be a negative person, so I started looking for beauty and goodness in everything - and I started finding it! I never complain about the weather anymore. In fact, I love almost any kind of weather, and I find beauty and pleasure in some of the smallest, seemingly most insignificant things. I have a poetic mind, so looking for beauty comes very naturally to me; but I'm sure anyone could train his mind to do it.
And when I was a teenager I used to get very annoyed with some of the things my mother said and did. I think it was more of a personality clash than anything else (my mother and I are very much alike). But when I started noticing her virtues instead of her faults, my eyes were opened. My mother is not perfect, but she is very nearly so - more than any other person I know, except maybe my dad (who is also an incredible person). That is not an exaggeration and it is _not_ just prejudice. She truly is. She astonishes me by going from day's end to day's end and remaining the same unbelievably patient, cheerful, loving person. I just had to open my eyes to her goodness and I saw it.
I still complain too much in my thoughts about my brothers and sisters. But now when someone does something that hurts me, I try to wait until I am not angry, then bring it up calmly and lovingly instead of letting it fester inside and turn to bitterness. After all, our words do come from our hearts and if we think angry thoughts, what can possibly come out of our mouths but angry words?
I hope this helps a little.


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## serenityfarmnm (Jan 6, 2013)

As you grow, you will most likely get better! I was a very bitter teen (with a pretty kick butt life in retrospect) My daughter ( now 23) was even worse. From about age 7/8 she complained about everything. I wanted to kill her from the age of 12-19/20. At 21 she just started to be more Positive.

I had her listen to Joyce Meyer "Battle of the mind" series and although she isn't even sure she believes in God, it helped her alot! Here is a 30 min youtube vid, the entire series is much longer.


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## HereComesTheSun (Jan 14, 2013)

Firstly, :hug:

Then, congrats on recognizing something about yourself and wanting to change. That's a big step in and of itself.

I use to be a huge complainer, too. I would bellyache about the most inane things. Like a PP mentioned, just try to think before you comment on something. When you find yourself about to say something negative or having a negative thought about a situation, change it up. 

One thing I learned in my years of studying psychology was that changing behaviors changes thoughts. So, when you find yourself about to say, "Man, I can't believe my ride is late!" change it and say, "My ride might be late, but as long as they arrive safely, that's what matters. And how lucky am I to have someone who cares enough to give me a lift!" It takes awhile, but you'll soon find yourself thinking positively instead of negatively from the get-go.

Another thing you can do: There was a study that I did a few years back. It was to increase positivity and happiness. Each night before you go to bed, take a sheet of paper/a journal and write down 3 things that you're thankful for. They can be big things ("I'm thankful that I got an awesome college!") or small things ("I'm thankful to have warm socks" or "I'm thankful I was able to watch my favorite TV show today"). Results basically showed that the more you reflect on the good, the more you good you put out.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

here is a hug and a prayer ray:


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

:hug:You are trying and soon people will forget the 'old' you and see a new you. I found my self when someone would say hi how are you; I'd be like well a/b/c/. When in reality they were being polite and didn't want to hear necessarily what I was looking down about. So I had to retrain my self to say good and you.


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## KarmakeeFarm (Jun 3, 2012)

Hugs--sounds like your a teenager :] it has happened to all of us!


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## caprine crazy (Jun 12, 2012)

Thanks! I feel a little better about it now. I look back and think of things I could have did/said instead of what I did. I do put a lot of pressure on myself about everything that I do. If I do lower than I expect of myself, then I get really upset. Sometimes I think I have to be a perfectionist, but at the same time I have your typical teen "I don't really care" attitude. So, I guess that could be part of the reason why I complain about some stuff. So, since I've kind of found out what might be causing this, I can target that and it might get better. Praying for everyone who's trying to break a hard habit.


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## RMADairyGoats (Jun 20, 2011)

So sorry girl :hug: I complain about everything too...I think it's just part of being a teenager


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## caprine crazy (Jun 12, 2012)

I'm beginning to think that too....


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## RMADairyGoats (Jun 20, 2011)

That's also my personality and always has been, even before teenage hood  lol


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## WillowGem (Aug 3, 2011)

Here's a hug...:hug:


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