# Gap in the Monk Hood



## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

At 3:45 a.m. on September 6 one of my guys had to be euthanized. I don't want to go into any details of treatment or symptoms, it hurts too much still to talk about it. 

I tried everything I knew, phoned a more experienced goat owner, tried a few more things, consulted with the vet who could only offer suggestions of what had already been done. (The office relayed my call, she called me back.) She was due to come for a farm visit at 6:00 a.m. She was out of town at a vet conference. The fill in had no experience with goats. My last check of him was approximately 11:45 p.m and he seemed better, still looked off though.

I am unsure of the time, other than around a little past 3:00 a.m. My dog woke me up and I heard the other Monks calling for me. One look at him, and I knew he was dying. Came back to the house, made a phone call, got into the stall with him and waited. The other 2 guys squeezed in with us.

The person I called knew there might be a chance I would need him to come down and also knew my personal wishes should this ever happen. He gently lifted my guy out, got confronted by my lead goat, took him to the farthest end of my property and did what needed to be done by headlights to see with.

He had arranged for him to be processed if at all possible, found someone who wanted the meat, so being field dressed was necessary. Throughout his digestive tract were bits and pieces of blue plastic shopping bag. 

I buried his innards in a grave, took care of the morning chores, made a hysterical call to my mentor to tell her he was put down (thank you for being there) and ran away from home to go fishing. Every creature I share my place with were highly upset and ill at ease over my anguish. Seeing this compounded sorrow was more than I could stand and I needed alone time to gather my composure.

Then I had to tell my youngest (6 year-old) grandson the next day during his scheduled overnight, his beloved goat had passed away. We both clung to each other and cried some more. We gathered rocks, dressed his grave, had a funeral and said goodbye to the goat he nicknamed HIS Reeses Cup goat.

Yesterday, the friend who came down, presented me with the pelt he had tanned out for me and the Grand. It is bittersweet.

You guys, I can't see through the tears and touching the create thread button is something I don't want to do, but I need to do this.


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## Sfgwife (Feb 18, 2018)

:bighug::bighug::bighug:

It was SUPER hard for me to hit create thread with my dora girl too sandra! But good for you! I bet that pelt is marvelous!


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

Your story showed how much he was loved. (console) Im very sorry for your loss.


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## whitejerabias (May 6, 2019)

I’m so sorry for your loss.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Sfgwife said:


> :bighug::bighug::bighug:
> 
> It was SUPER hard for me to hit create thread with my dora girl too sandra! But good for you! I bet that pelt is marvelous!


It really is something to behold, his coloration and pattern being seen this way is striking. I don't know how the process of tanning works, but the leather is so pliable and soft to the touch. The Grand will be here Friday after school for an overnight, take that situation when it comes. I already picked up most of the material except for the glass, will get that Saturday from Ace when I take him home. Decided to build the shadow box as a solo project instead of letting the Grand help. I want to sand, stain and trim it out as if it were a piece of fine furniture.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

happybleats said:


> Your story showed how much he was loved. (console) Im very sorry for your loss.


When I started with goats, the last thing I expected was the bond that developed so completely and totally between us. They allowed me to become a member of the herd, trusted me enough to lead them and tending to them filled many hours of my day. This little yearling was as friendly, social, gentle and well mannered as a goat could be. He was loved deeply and has been missed by both human and herd mates. Thank you for your kind words.


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## Sfgwife (Feb 18, 2018)

NigerianNewbie said:


> It really is something to behold, his coloration and pattern being seen this way is striking. I don't know how the process of tanning works, but the leather is so pliable and soft to the touch. The Grand will be here Friday after school for an overnight, take that situation when it comes. I already picked up most of the material except for the glass, will get that Saturday from Ace when I take him home. Decided to build the shadow box as a solo project instead of letting the Grand help. I want to sand, stain and trim it out as if it were a piece of fine furniture.


Yay!


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

whitejerabias said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss.


Thank you.


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## Trollmor (Aug 19, 2011)

What a wonderful description of the love that can grow between goat and human! And his flock mates, and the dogs, oooooh, I LOVE hearing about all that love! And the Grandson, please let him know, let him really experience how much both you and the fourlegged ones do love him!
:hug::hug::hug:


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

I will Trollmor. The Grandson is a wonderful child and is surrounded by as much love as his little heart and soul can hold while he is at my place. The fourlegged enjoy his visits very much, attach themselves to him from the time he arrives until the time he leaves. My dog, Fynn, does an area search for him each time to make sure he isn't hiding somewhere. I try to tell the dog he went home, though he has to discover this for himself. They often play the hide and seek together, it's their favorite game. Thank you for the kind words, we all miss "Reeses Cup".


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## Dwarf Dad (Aug 27, 2017)

I am sorry for your loss.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Dwarf Dad said:


> I am sorry for your loss.


Thank you.


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## Goat Whisperer (Dec 3, 2018)

I am so so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking


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## Damfino (Dec 29, 2013)

I'm so sorry you lost your sweet boy. I'd love to see photos of your shadow box when it's finished.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Thank you. I thought the grief had pretty much run it's course. Getting his pelt as a special, unexpected gift was both a joy and a sorrow. I finally realized I needed to express what happened amongst fellow goat people who would understand he was more than just a goat.


Goat Whisperer said:


> I am so so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking


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## NigerianDwarfOwner707 (May 17, 2018)

I am terribly sorry for your loss. The monk will be missed.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Damfino said:


> I'm so sorry you lost your sweet boy. I'd love to see photos of your shadow box when it's finished.


Thank you, he was the buckskin on the left in my avatar. I will post the shadow box for everyone to see.


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## NigerianDwarfOwner707 (May 17, 2018)

NigerianNewbie said:


> Thank you, he was the buckskin on the left in my avatar. I will post the shadow box for everyone to see.


I've never actually clicked on your avatar to see up close. What beautiful goats you have.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

NigerianDwarfOwner707 said:


> I am terribly sorry for your loss. The monk will be missed.


Thank you. His absence has impacted both human and herd mates.


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

ksalvagno said:


> I am so sorry for your loss.


Thank you Karen. You helped me with him a few days after bringing him home. He was the one that suffered with a bout of untreated/ignored? pneumonia while at the farm I purchased him from when he was only a day old. I had the option of bottle raising both of those ND newborns, felt dam raised would be better. It wasn't in this case. I learned a lot of hard lessons about how to shop for a goat.

The smaller one is the "Reeses Cup" goat his first winter. He darkened up from a lighter shade of brown buckskin than the mini Alpine behind him. The Grand couldn't understand the color differences at first and demanded I go get his goat back, RIGHT NOW!


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## NigerianDwarfOwner707 (May 17, 2018)

NigerianNewbie said:


> Thank you Karen. You helped me with him a few days after bringing him home. He was the one that suffered with a bout of untreated/ignored? pneumonia while at the farm I purchased him from when he was only a day old. I had the option of bottle raising both of those ND newborns, felt dam raised would be better. It wasn't in this case. I learned a lot of hard lessons about how to shop for a goat.
> 
> The smaller one is the "Reeses Cup" goat his first winter. He darkened up from a lighter shade of brown buckskin than the mini Alpine behind him. The Grand couldn't understand the color differences at first and demanded I go get his goat back, RIGHT NOW!
> 
> View attachment 163389


Beautiful, adorable, so so sorry.


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## Trollmor (Aug 19, 2011)

NigerianNewbie said:


> Thank you. I thought the grief had pretty much run it's course. Getting his pelt as a special, unexpected gift was both a joy and a sorrow. I finally realized I needed to express what happened amongst fellow goat people who would understand he was more than just a goat.


There is no such thing as "just" a goat. :inlove:


NigerianNewbie said:


> Thank you. His absence has impacted both human and herd mates.


Yes, you have a real herd, that is clear, full with love! Congratulations, to both fine memories and to the remaining loved ones!


NigerianNewbie said:


> The Grand couldn't understand the color differences at first and demanded I go get his goat back, RIGHT NOW!


First we laugh, and then we understand that this is a sign of real love! :inlove::inlove:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

:nod::up:


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## Goats Rock (Jun 20, 2011)

So very sorry for your loss. No matter how long or how many goats one has, the loss of a loved critter still hurts like heck. (Here I am with tears for you and your family, and I never met any of you all!)


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## GoofyGoat (Sep 21, 2018)

My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry you lost him. What a wonderful memorial you're creating. ((HUG))


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Goats Rock said:


> So very sorry for your loss. No matter how long or how many goats one has, the loss of a loved critter still hurts like heck. (Here I am with tears for you and your family, and I never met any of you all!)


Thank you for the kind words. Your compassion is so touching. :hug:


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

GoofyGoat said:


> My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry you lost him. What a wonderful memorial you're creating. ((HUG))


You are so sweet... Thank you.


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## Sfgwife (Feb 18, 2018)

NigerianNewbie said:


> You are so sweet... Thank you.


I think you need bring mr k to meet my bibbin when yall's hearts heal a bit more . Bib is a year and half old full of spoiled monster lol.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

I swear you are over there reading my mind, again. On and off this evening, I have been thinking about the same exact thing. Bibbin is approximately the same age as my guys, Febuary and April 2018.

Also, he seems to naturally gravitate towards farms and livestock and he would want to interact with all of your creatures if that would be okay. A text from my son earlier today told me mr K had a blast at Alpaca farm day. Has talked about it almost nonstop for days about those camel looking sheep, turkeys, the farm cat, ducks and chickens. Wanted to know when could he go to another farm day field trip. His most recent desire is to meet some piglets.

Yes, we most definitely want to take you up on your invite. He just seems to have a yearning to touch, feed, get close to and study all animals he meets.


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## mariarose (Oct 23, 2014)

I'm so truly sorry.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

Very sad.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

mariarose said:


> I'm so truly sorry.


Thank you mariarose.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

toth boer goats said:


> Very sad.


Just being able to share with the members of the forum has helped tremendously. Kind of what I would imagine grief counseling to be like.


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## Goats Rock (Jun 20, 2011)

On here you will never hear some idiot say "it's just a goat, look how many others you have". It doesn't matter, each goat is special in their own way. Non goat people just do not understand!


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## Trollmor (Aug 19, 2011)

Yes, we understand in the very depth of our hearts! :inlove::inlove:


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## Sfgwife (Feb 18, 2018)

And we have pigs! They are not small but they love some scratches and treats!


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

(woo) I am going to keep all these little boy pleasures under my hat until the visit can happen. Going to tell him it is a visit to a friend's house and leave it at that. Then I can witness him wiggle and carry on like an excited puppy once we get there. And, he can't hound me to go beforehand. I am a naughty Nana sometimes. (blush)


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## groovyoldlady (Jul 21, 2011)

WE lost our beloved Lola Lasagna less than a month ago. I still get teary when I go out to do chores and she's not there. We just got back from the Big E where my daughter showed Lola's mother and daughter. But no Lola.

It sucks. I totally feel your pain!!!


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

@groovyoldlady , I am sincerely sorry over your loss. :hug: I can relate to how that noticeable "gap" tugs at the heart strings. Yep, it sucks.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

NigerianNewbie said:


> Just being able to share with the members of the forum has helped tremendously. Kind of what I would imagine grief counseling to be like.


:bighug::hug:


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## Treva Brodt (Jan 11, 2019)

I’m also sorry for your loss. I too belong to the herd, so it’s heartbreaking when someone isn’t happy and well. It makes me wonder what I was thinking when I got so close to them. I would have missed out on so much love if I hadn’t. Prayers for your higher power to heal your soul.


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Thank you @Treva Brodt for those inspirational words. Thing is, there wasn't much thought process involved in getting so close. In all honesty, I would have been inclined to be sceptical about being able to form a strong bond with goats. Until it gradually happened...Trust grew, acceptance occurred, a form of communication and understanding developed, caring for them started to feel like nurturing, fretted over those little goobers well being more than can be explained with words, and we became a tight knitted unit. Loving them, being loved in return, is an experience I feel privileged to be a part of.



Treva Brodt said:


> I'm also sorry for your loss. I too belong to the herd, so it's heartbreaking when someone isn't happy and well. It makes me wonder what I was thinking when I got so close to them. I would have missed out on so much love if I hadn't. Prayers for your higher power to heal your soul.


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## Trollmor (Aug 19, 2011)

NigerianNewbie said:


> Loving them, being loved in return, is an experience I feel privileged to be a part of.


Exactly! :inlove::inlove:


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## Treva Brodt (Jan 11, 2019)

I got tricked into rescuing a three day old buckling. The rest is history :run:


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

Treva Brodt said:


> I got tricked into rescuing a three day old buckling. The rest is history :run:


Oh my goodness, so precious. A newborn kid takes a lot of devotion, time, scheduling, and the zombie state from lack of sleep when the feedings are every few hours... So very close to nurturing a human baby. Yep, your heart got stole right from underneath you.


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## Tricia Hales (Jul 8, 2018)

NigerianNewbie said:


> At 3:45 a.m. on September 6 one of my guys had to be euthanized. I don't want to go into any details of treatment or symptoms, it hurts too much still to talk about it.
> 
> I tried everything I knew, phoned a more experienced goat owner, tried a few more things, consulted with the vet who could only offer suggestions of what had already been done. (The office relayed my call, she called me back.) She was due to come for a farm visit at 6:00 a.m. She was out of town at a vet conference. The fill in had no experience with goats. My last check of him was approximately 11:45 p.m and he seemed better, still looked off though.
> 
> ...


I am so very for your loss as I understand completely how you are feeling! I just lost my beautiful Lily October 29th. She and I had a bond Like no other. I've lost cats and dogs over my lifetime but losing her has really done a number on me and I feel like I lost a child and I feel terrible for anyone who has ever lost a child because it must be 150% more painful then me losing Lily. I'm here for you anytime you need to talk


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## Tricia Hales (Jul 8, 2018)

NigerianNewbie said:


> Thank you @Treva Brodt for those inspirational words. Thing is, there wasn't much thought process involved in getting so close. In all honesty, I would have been inclined to be sceptical about being able to form a strong bond with goats. Until it gradually happened...Trust grew, acceptance occurred, a form of communication and understanding developed, caring for them started to feel like nurturing, fretted over those little goobers well being more than can be explained with words, and we became a tight knitted unit. Loving them, being loved in return, is an experience I feel privileged to be a part of.


I've had dogs and cats and Lily was my first goat. Just reading your bond description with yours was like a mirror image. I never would have thought that we could have such a relationship with a goat. We basically needed each other so my heart aches for you always


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## NigerianNewbie (Jun 6, 2018)

@Tricia Hales My sympathies to you over the loss of your beloved Lily. Apologize for the delay in replying to your post. I totally relate to all you've expressed in your above posts. :hug:


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## Trollmor (Aug 19, 2011)

It is easy to love such a kind goat! Thank you for sharing!


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