# Pan! Can Someone Help?



## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

With the "wethers for meat" thread I am SO terrified to post this!
I think I'm going away forever, to England, I'm not actually dying. But worrying about Pan and Sprite makes me feel like I'm dying.
I can't afford to take my babies with me!
Can someone please help me?


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

*Re: Pan!*

My heart tears flow faster for everyone I see read this and not reply.
I know. I am the lowest form of life, to raise such a creature as Pan and choose to abandon him. I hate me more than you ever could!
I just can't do it! I can't take him with me! I SWEAR I would if I could!
I am ripped wide open now
What else can I do though?. Truth be told, if I get the call I'm waiting for and I haven't found a place for Pan, I will give up on my life's hope and I will stay here with my baby.


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## Stacykins (Mar 27, 2012)

*Re: Pan!*

Oh my goodness. I am sure someone in Florida will be able to give them a loving forever home, where there is no worry about them becoming dinner. A lot of people like goats are just pets, and wethers are perfect for that. Especially since Pan is such a people goat, I mean, he probably thinks he is people!

I wish there was a way they could go to England with you. That sucks that the cost is very high.


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## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

*Re: Pan!*

All I can think of is to try posting for an adoptive pet home in your area...you can screen any that reply to be sure they get the best home. :hug:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

*Re: Pan!*

Stacy! You know! Pan is a person! He thinks no less of himself than any of us do of ourselves. He doesn't know that being born a goat means that he is less important than other people. He's just WAY nicer than most other people. 
This is going to kill me. And it absolutely should!


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

*Re: Pan!*

Thank you, Liz


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

*Re: Pan!*

Admitting here that I need to ask this is like pulling the turniquet off the artery. I feel like my soul is pouring, bursting out!
I don't know if I can do this


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

Awww Meridith I am so sorry you have to go through this, but you have such a huge step to take in your life, you have to make decisions like this no matter how much they break your heart.
I agree, post that they are for pets only, not everyone who buys a goat wants it for meat


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

Its my fault!
I shouldn't ask this!
I can't live with myself if I don't find him someone who loves him.
I made him what he is. He is a little furry person who eats the wallpaper, but still wants to sleep in bed with me. In lue of that he'll wait patiently at the front door and from there will not leave your side.
His gentle soul knows no guile, no deception, no malice and he cannot even conceive of harming another.
I raised a loving and lovable being.
What am I going to do!!!????


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Stop beating yourself up. This is not wrong, and it is not being cruel to him. I know it is hard, and you will both miss each other, but animals are special in that they are able to recover quickly. That doesn't mean he won't miss you, but because he was raised with such love he will find a GREAT home that thinks he is just the most amazing thing ever.

The wethers for meat thread was for us who were talking about what happens when we have a lot of babies each year and can't find them all suitable homes. But since you're only looking for a home for a few, that really shouldn't be a problem.

I feel for you so much, I can't imagine how this feels.

Don't panic, please, there are many people out there wanting a good pet. You just have to find the right home, that's it. If you want, you can make an adoption post on facebook and have people repost it, post him on petfinder, goatfinder, CL, everywhere you can. And we'll be praying. :hug:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

If I abandon him to fate then I do not deserve to live. You cannot be a creative force in the origin of such a special soul and then abandon him. Not without going to hell.
Right now I can't even imaging how I would/will tell him that I wont be around anymore. The mere thought reduces me to groveling, sobbing tears.
I don't know how to make this right


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

Thank you WH, but I honestly cannot stop what I feel right now.
How can I leave him? What does that make me?
I made him a pet!


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Zarafia said:


> If I abandon him to fate then I do not deserve to live. You cannot be a creative force in the origin of such a special soul and then abandon him. Not without going to hell.
> Right now I can't even imaging how I would/will tell him that I wont be around anymore. The mere thought reduces me to groveling, sobbing tears.
> I don't know how to make this right


Take a deep breath. Panicking can only make things worse.

You are not abandoning him, you are rehoming him, and you are doing your best. You gave him a fantastic start and are now looking for a great home. We can't do any more than that.

Just post him everywhere -- make fliers and hang them in feed stores and grocery stores. Ask other breeders for help.


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

Thank you again. But I feel so terrible.
My baby Pan literally misses me whenever I'm not around. Other goats are mere comfort to him. Whenever he hears my car or house door shut he calls to me.
He always just loves me, no matter what
Can you imagine what I think of myself right now, thinking that there is something out there that is more important? My body might do well, but I fear for my soul. 
And yet, I have to try to do this


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

This is what Pan is to me:


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## RMADairyGoats (Jun 20, 2011)

I'm so sorry you have to rehome your little Pan :hug: But just remember this, animals don't think of it that way. Goats are happy as long as they have food, water, shelter and a buddy  As long has he has those things, he'll be happy


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

You'd sure think, wouldn't you? That's what I expected. But Pan is so much more than that!
Pan knows when I'm sad. He knows when I'm busy or irratable. And he knows when he is unhappy. He knows when he is lonely, despite his own two goaties.
He knows when he just has to press his little head against you because you didn't hear him say he loves you before


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Zarafia said:


> You'd sure think, wouldn't you? That's what I expected. But Pan is so much more than that!
> Pan knows when I'm sad. He knows when I'm busy or irratable. And he knows when he is unhappy. He knows when he is lonely, despite his own two goaties.
> He knows when he just has to press his little head against you because you didn't hear him say he loves you before


My Patti is that way. I know she would miss me if I left. But the reality is he will be okay under the care of someone else. That personally is a thought that I like, and at the same time, don't, if you know what I mean. You are very special to Pan, but that does not mean someone else can't be -- just like another animal can be special to you. There will never be another Pan, but there will be other wonderful animals, just as there are other wonderful humans.

All this is to say, there are no replacements for the ones we love, but both he and you will be able to bond to another, while still holding dear each others' memories.


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## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

:mecry: Very well said Woodhaven :hug:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

liz said:


> :mecry: Very well said Woodhaven :hug:


Yes!
I know I can be replaced in his life. I just don't know how to find the replacement. You can't love Pan without knowing him, but no one knows him, at least not like I do, and not yet..
I will give anything to find him the right person, who would want to know him, who is looking for someone to love


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## maryBeth (Aug 27, 2012)

I'm so sorry you have to find him a new home! :hug: I don't know what I'd do if I had to give my Freckles to a new home. Don't tear yourself up about it though.


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

"Only tell me that you still want me here, when you wander off out there?..."
"I'll protect your body and guard your soul"

"If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts, I'll hold you up, and be your way out."

"When the shadows come and darken your heart, leaving you with regret, so cold," Lost out in the desert "If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track, I'll be the moon that shines on your path."

Pan means all these things. He does not know the words. But believe me, in no uncertain terms, he knows Exactly what all this means. He is there for me, always, but much moreso when my heart hurts.
He needs to be missed when you aren't with him. His amazing sweet goodness inspires me to be good and do good. He only knows love


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

It sucks so bad to know that if I were to go out and ask for him right now he would come to me immediately. He would fall asleep in my lap as I sobbed into his soft fur. And then when I got up to go inside he would cry at my door for an hour.
If I asked him for solace now I would cause him grief
So I sit here typing, wondering what I have do


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## maryBeth (Aug 27, 2012)

I'm sure you'll be able to find a great place for him. There are a lot of good people around the gainesville area.


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## goathiker (Apr 14, 2011)

Just an idea, try contacting Quantum Leap Farm Inc. Explain to them about Pans personality and offer him to them as a therapy goat to use with their programs for small children who are disabled. There are also other therapy farms in Florida. One of them might jump at the chance for a well socialized small goat.


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## liz (Oct 5, 2007)

goathiker said:


> Just an idea, try contacting Quantum Leap Farm Inc. Explain to them about Pans personality and offer him to them as a therapy goat to use with their programs for small children who are disabled. There are also other therapy farms in Florida. One of them might jump at the chance for a well socialized small goat.


That is a WONDERFUL idea! :hug:


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## Shellshocker66 (Mar 19, 2012)

It's really easy to believe that no one will love your goat as much as you do, but you have to have faith that you will find the RIGHT home for your goats. When you place your ad, be sure to include "not for meat". And screen anyone calling/emailing.. Pretty easy to tell the difference between someone wanting to eat versus someone looking for a pet/nature's weed whacker. One is going to be asking size and weight and that is their main focus, the other will be asking how they get along with people/kids/animals and so on. 

I feel for you, I really do as I have a little gal that is my constant companion. I had a hard time leaving her for a two day trip and was trying to figure out how to sneak her into a motel, I also have a one day trip planned and I'm really thinking of packing her up and taking her... But reality is sometimes you have to leave them, and in your case it's not practical to move them to England. 

Wishing you the best of luck and try to think positively that everything will work out.


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

Aww, I am SO sorry!  I know how much you love little Pan! I remember when you first got him, you couldn't stop talking about him! And I'm sure you love him even more now! :hug: 
You say that nobody knows him like you do, but God does. You can't _imagine_ how much God cares for everything He has created! God is infinitely greater, better, and more loving than we have ever dreamed. God is so incredibly BIG that He loves one little ant far more than we love our very best friends. And as to how much He loves us... well, our minds will never be big enough to understand it!

Think how impossible it is for you to forget your little goats. Yet if you were to forget a thousand times over, God would still remember.

Nothing that happens is an accident. We humans have our silly worries about what might happen or what we can't do, but I tell you we are fools! If we trusted God as He is worthy of trust, we could lose everything and still laugh and sing for joy!
Pan and Sprite are God's goats even more than they are yours, and God will take care of them.
I think that is a great idea to try to find a place for Pan as a therapy animal. :hug:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

milkmaid said:


> Aww, I am SO sorry!  I know how much you love little Pan! I remember when you first got him, you couldn't stop talking about him! And I'm sure you love him even more now! :hug:
> You say that nobody knows him like you do, but God does. You can't _imagine_ how much God cares for everything He has created! God is infinitely greater, better, and more loving than we have ever dreamed. God is so incredibly BIG that He loves one little ant far more than we love our very best friends. And as to how much He loves us... well, our minds will never be big enough to understand it!
> 
> Think how impossible it is for you to forget your little goats. Yet if you were to forget a thousand times over, God would still remember.
> ...


This is the most beautiful, wonderful post!
Thank you all for trying to help me here and I think that Pan would make an awesome therapy goat. He has never been "mouthy" and is the most gentle guy. He walks very well on a leash. Only thing is if you sit down he will lay down in your lap. Even if your sitting in a chair LOL. He might need to be taught not to climb into wheelchairs.
Thank you all SO much! When I realised that there is really no way to take him with me the realisation hit me like a brick wall. This is SUCH a wonderful community!


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

I am looking at Quantum Leap's website right now and it looks amazing! They even already have one goat, a doe with horns. I can't tell how big she is, but Pan put up with being treated unfairly by my big, horned alpine Queen, Mindy. I'm sure that Pan would learn to stay out of their doe's way if she was a bully to him.
Thank you SO much for this suggestion!
I would be so proud of Pan if he were able to be part of their program. He is already my "therapy goat" LOL. His gentle soul would be perfect for assuaging any apprehension that a person might have about hoofstock.
I wouldn't be moving till spring so I have time to teach Pan anything they might want.


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

I just wrote to Quantum Leap about Pan. I'll let everyone know if and how they reply .


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## ASTONs Dairy (Aug 14, 2012)

Hi Zar,

Where in Florida are you? I am in South Carolina. about 2 hours West I-95 .. How many goats do you have to re-home? I may be able to help. :angelgoat:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

dlnicholson126 said:


> Hi Zar,
> 
> Where in Florida are you? I am in South Carolina. about 2 hours West I-95 .. How many goats do you have to re-home? I may be able to help. :angelgoat:


I live just outside Gainesville, FL.
I have three goats that will need to have a new home by spring, Pan, my mini-alpine wether, Sprite my ND/pygmy buck and Summer my ND doe. Summer might be pregnant.
Pan and Sprite are ridiculously tame, both bottle babies. Summer is more shy and reserved, but she is good on a leash.
I really am kinda hoping that this Quantum Leap Farm wants Pan. It would be the ideal situation for him.


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## ASTONs Dairy (Aug 14, 2012)

Did you say Pan sleeps with you? How did you house train him?


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

LOL, Pan used to sleep with me . He pretty much housebroke himself as a little baby because I took him outside a lot. Unfortunately as he got older and started spending more time outside with Sprite he "lost" his housebrokenness. He no longer thinks twice about dropping goat berries in the house and I can't let him inside much anymore .


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

Well Quantum Leap wrote me back and said that at this time they cannot take Pan. But they told me that I can ask again in a few months.
I really feel like their program would be a perfect place for Pan. He would be SO good as a therapy animal. Especially for people who were apprehensive about hoofstock. He is so gentle and loving. It would be the perfect job for him, to comfort people who need him. I know he would thrive under those conditions.
And I have also gotten a few PMs here from people who could give Pan the loving home he needs.
I will keep this thread updated as springtime grows closer.
Thank you all so much!!!


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## Di (Jan 29, 2008)

I'm so glad you found some options for your goats. I was sure you'd find someone to love your goats. :hi5: 

So, tell us about your trip and your new position. Or did I miss that somewhere? When will you be leaving? Where will you be living? Sorry, a little nosey, I know... :greengrin:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

Well I don't have any real answers for you. For many years I have dreamed about working with birds of prey in a breeding, research and falconry capacity. Those jobs just aren't available to me here in the US.
But in the UK falconry is completely legal for everyone and there are a hunderd times more falconers than here. There are many falconry and bird of prey centres. 
Ironically, the fact that I've fought so hard to become a licenced falconer over here makes me a desirable employee to a centre over there. They know that I'm not just some star-eyed girl who wants to watch hawks fly free (I was that 20 years ago LOL). Since then I've had to pass a govt. administered test, pass govt. inspections on my equipment and facilities and go through the extremely difficult process of finding a licenced falconer who would become my sponsor (mentor) for a minimum of two years. Then I had to trap two wild red tailed hawks and train them to hunt with me.
That's just what the government here requires to become a general falconer.
Over in the UK all you need to do to call yourself a falconer is buy yourself a hawk (as legal as buying a goat) and start training it.
A couple weeks ago I flew over to England to attend a falconry festival there. I handed out about 20 resumes and spoke to the owners of several falconry centres. The one that excited me most was a man who does a display with his falcons on horseback. I used to fly my first red tail from horseback. I had pictures and documentation for him. He said that he'd fly me over there in the beginning of the spring for a month to "See what I could do". 
Even if I don't land a job with him, my best friend (who lives in England and is a falconer too) will help me visit every falconry centre that we can to try and sell me to them. One way or another I intend to land some sort of job over there. Even if it's not what I really want, just so I can stay and keep trying to get the job I really want.
Wish me luck?


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## Di (Jan 29, 2008)

:shocked: That is quite a resume'. I'm impressed! I'm so glad you are brave enough to follow your dream! Good luck, I'm ray: for you!


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

:thumbup: ray:


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## Zarafia (Mar 25, 2012)

I sure don't feel very brave right now. But I feel like this is something I HAVE to do. 
I am very comforted by everyone on this forum. You guys are great !


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