# My son is mad at me...



## Di (Jan 29, 2008)

he's an adult, and as an adult I expect him make adult decisions.

Last week he was going to bed and the dog was there, he said he reached over to give her a hug, she lunged at him and bit him in the face! Another inch and he may have lost an eye. They went to the hospital were he got 40-50 stitches in his face. His face was ripped clear through his lip, lost a hunk of his lip. It was so bad they called the "plastic surgeon" in to stitch it up. He will need more surgery to improve asthetics.

So, ok, I would assume that you would make the hard, adult, decision to have this dog humanely euthanized. BTW it's not the first time she's "snapped". She's 11 yo/Akita mix. But, looks like a pit. And, I thought that was the plan. Now I find out he's not doing that. So, I FREAKED OUT a little bit. He told me I've become "hard" about "death" from having my little hobby farm, and this is his dog and his decision. However, he has a daughter that visits and she's 12. So, I do the "what if that dog bites your daughter"? So, he yelled and I yelled and I said "THAT DOG BIT MY CHILD, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT?"

So, now, the yelling has stopped. But, I'm still unhappy. I think we need a family "intervention". What do you all think? Also, they are living in my rental house, while they find a house to buy. They will be there at least 6 months, and my granddaughters mother hates me and would waste no time finding an attorney to sue me if anything happened to her. No matter what I do, I'm going to come off as the "heartless witch" here.  

Please Lord, help me make the right decision here.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Oh man, that's tough. I'm sorry to hear that even happened, and I am shocked he wants to keep the dog....I'd worry too....is there any way to reason with him after he calms down some more?


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## MollyLue9 (Oct 14, 2012)

Seeing as I am only fourteen, I can give no other advice than to pray. I will pray for you


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## Di (Jan 29, 2008)

Who knows. This is my "problem child" who finally got his act together 10 years ago. He rescued this dog, when his wife was under-going chemo for breast cancer. He thinks they saved each other. But, she's always been a little unpredictable. Usually fine with the family. But, you wouldn't want to "threaten" him when she's there. I helped them move in some, and she was fine with me. In fact, I forgot she was that way, she came up to me and I petted her, she seemed fine. But, then "there she blows"!


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Ugh...a dog like that can't be trusted. I'd worry about any kid near her.
Gosh, what a dilemma....he must know how dangerous it is to keep her...if she'll do it to him, she'll do it to anyone.
I feel so sorry you have to deal with this....


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## kelebek (Oct 5, 2007)

Sorry - but that dog needs to be put down. He probably has a hard time because of the situation of when he gor her - BUT that is unexceptable. I just took in a rescue mastiff - that bit twice ... I dont wait for a third time and she was PTS. Your house YOUR rules.


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## fd123 (May 29, 2012)

WOW!!....Im sorry about the whole "BAD SITUATION".....Ive NEVER had to deal with anything close....so therefore, I cant offer any good advice....but....what i can do is send some prayers your way, and thats in the works NOW!!
BEST OF LUCK!!!
>>>((( Have yall ever thought of calling "JERRY SPRINGER"??))))<<<<;;;JOKE..... LOL....Im sorry...but maybe it did put just a little smile on your face during this difficult time....


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## Di (Jan 29, 2008)

Thank you, Allison. I've decided I will have my Attorney send him a letter to PTS that dog. I just got a reply to my e-mail. She said I can protect myself somewhat with that. 

I think I should tell the child's mother about this. He won't. But, she should know. If she chooses to let the child visit then it's on her. I will have my attorney send that letter too.


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## nursehelg (Jul 5, 2012)

Our dog almost bit our daughter in the face. We had Daisy since she was a puppy. She was a lab/heeler mix. After she had a litter of puppies, she kinda went into super protective mode I guess. We still don't know why she just snapped. The puppies had already been all given away. My husband was playing with her outside, I was sitting on the ground and my daughter was beside me. When Emily went to pet Daisy she lunged at Emily with teeth out and I pushed Emily backwards. My husband was able to pull her back. She kept barking at Emily. It could have been horrible! The next day we put her down. So any dog can have the potential to bite. It was very hard for us. I cried and cried and cried. But the reality of it is, my child comes first. I could not live with myself if we kept her and Emily or another child was hurt. I would have her put down end of conversation. Give him a deadline to put the dog down. It is your home and you cannot have a dog that bites around children. You would never forgive yourself. He would never forgive himself if it would happen. The bite to his lip would have been half of a childs face.


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

Ok , first my condolences ,wow 50 + stitches and there is a question on euthing this dog ? Seriously ?
The dog has a dominance issue , not a good trait if it can't be controlled.
IMO I would have the dog put done immediately.
But for the sake of your relationship with your son , maybe give Nima ultimatum that he either get a consult with a Legitimate dog trainer ,one who is qualified to make the call of aggression . Maybe have the humane society do the aggression test because if they find the dog aggressive and a danger to the public , they will put the dog down .
I think your son would have to sign a release to do this if they deem the dog dangerous though ......but it's a fair choice for all involved.
And I totally agree that the child's mother be made aware of this dogs unpredictability. Itis her child too that is in danger. Children love to hug animals and a hug to a dog is sometimes very unnerving . It's a restrictive act that can give a dominant dog the feeling of being over powered and dominated which in that type of dogs eye , is a reason to fight back . Not a good dog to have around children at all....a very dangerous dog to have around IMHO.


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

One more thing ,IMO , you just might drive your son out and away if you serve him with any type of lawyer papers......and you don't want to do that I'm sure. At least when he is. Your property you can sort of control the visits with his daughter maybe ? Have her come into your house to see her Dad and not the rental house ? Not sure if thats doable though.


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## milkmaid (Sep 15, 2010)

ray:


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

I'm so sorry that is horrible. At that age you can't control your son, I get that. At the same time this isn't a first with the dog he can't be trusted. I put down one of my dogs who turned mean. There was no problem to cause the change the vet found nothing, no routine at home changed. I could not would not tolerate that. 
Now if he's living on your property regardless you need to consider telling him he has to put the dog down or move. You own the property you are aware of the dog's history and if anything happens on the property you are liable. That is not something to mess with.Yes he's going to be very angry but he as an adult will get over it.


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

I would think with him having such sever damage that the hospital would have turned the case it themselves...but since they did not..as you said he is an adult and will make his own decision however your grand daughter is not..you need to let her mom know what happened and suggest she not allow your grand daughter to visit dad at his home as long as that dog it there. I would also let your son know that you will be issuing a flyer to all neighbors about the danger of that dog so they can keep their children safe..you as the owner of the home have the right to ask that the dog be removed off property since it is a liability ..you may not be able to make him get rid of the dog but you can do what you can to make sure everyone is aware and to be safe...Im so sorry your son has taken this stand..and it may very well be how he feels about "them saving each other" but also take check on how you approached the situation..make sure you were not judging o harsh..or demanding..I know you have every right but some people do not respond well to that approach and will dig their feet in to do the opposite...good luck


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Any breed can develop dominance issues -- if he was going in for a hug it's possible the dog took it as a threat. It's also possible that if the dog was a rescue, something may have happened in its past and the action triggered it. I'm so sorry for your son :hug: I hate to sentence any animal, but at this point it is probably in the best interest of his daughter. The dog's age may also be contributing, perhaps if he is going blind or deaf or having some neurological issues, he becomes startled and confused more easily.

I'll be praying for you in this situation. :hug:


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## kiddoe (Oct 8, 2012)

I happened to get some info yesterday from a Newsletter that I get from the Pennsylvania Agriculture. If you fill out the complaint form, I would check dog bite as well as dangerous dog, if it allows you to click both. This may help you out a bit.

Dog Law Enforcement Office, here in Pennsylvania. You can be anonymous, but the bereau will not be able to contact you to follow up on your complaint. you can even call the Dog Law Enforcement Office to talk about or ask questions about dog law. The number is 717-787-3062. Here is the link:

http://www.portal.state.pa.us/porta...t/DogLawComplaint.aspx?navid=26&parentnavid=0&


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## kiddoe (Oct 8, 2012)

Di said:


> he's an adult, and as an adult I expect him make adult decisions.
> 
> Last week he was going to bed and the dog was there, he said he reached over to give her a hug, she lunged at him and bit him in the face! Another inch and he may have lost an eye.
> 
> Please Lord, help me make the right decision here.


 When you said that he reached to give her a hug as he was going to bed. Do you know if the lights had been turned out already? I ask because I read an article or watched a documentary (can't remember which) a while back. It said that when it's dark, a dog's vision is not as keen, they see vague shadows. So when something makes a sudden and unpredictable movement the dog may take it as a threat and therefore feel the need to protect itself.

I agree, that if the dog tends to be tempermental, especially when there are children in the home, it needs to be euthanized.

Maybe you could call the your granddaughter's mother instead of sending her a letter from your lawyer. She may somehow take it offensively. If you call her, gently forewarn her of the incident that took place with the dog and that you were concerned for your granddaughter's safety since he was not going to have the dog put down .

I pray all works out for everyone involved and that your relationships will be mended somehow and that noone else will be hurt by this doggie. My thoughts and prayers will be with you today.:hug:


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## dobe627 (Oct 16, 2007)

It was always my understanding that a dog bite is to be reporto the authorities if treated by a Dr. I could be wrong. But in any case what if a starnger (meter reader etc) gets bit? Its your property so thus would be on your shoulders. Akitas are not a breed I trust, IMO. Good luck


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## crocee (Jul 25, 2008)

It sounds like it might be time for a little SSS (shoot, shovel, and Shhhhhh)


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

If I woke up in the middle of the night and went to hug my dog , my dog would be all over me with kisses , not teeth. Any dog that does bite and to that extent has major issues.
I dont care of the dog was abused , or whatever. It is mostly all genetics.


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

Tricky, while I agree with you most of the time . On this one, it can be genetics for sure. However, a severely abused animal even with great temp. parents can be a night mare. While doing rescue, I'd take the history into consideration, work with the dog, if after all of that the dogs was still a possible threat then I would put them down. When I say work with them, they may even wear a muzzle in public in the beginning. I expect a dog to let me walk up and take it's food dish away while they are eating, most kiddos when young have done something like that and should not get bit doing it. My show dogs were all temp. tested and had their CGC. The dog my then mother in law took, didn't abuse her but also didn't socialize or correct the dog. While visiting one day my daughter, then around 3, went near the good dish and she ran over and snapped at her. I gave her a quick swift correction and she didn't do it again- although the mother in law was furious!! Too bad.


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## Dayna (Aug 16, 2012)

I would call the childs mother. As a Mother that at some point may have to send her daughter to spend time with her father I would want to know that.


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

clearwtrbeach said:


> Tricky, while I agree with you most of the time . On this one, it can be genetics for sure. However, a severely abused animal even with great temp. parents can be a night mare. While doing rescue, I'd take the history into consideration, work with the dog, if after all of that the dogs was still a possible threat then I would put them down. When I say work with them, they may even wear a muzzle in public in the beginning. I expect a dog to let me walk up and take it's food dish away while they are eating, most kiddos when young have done something like that and should not get bit doing it. My show dogs were all temp. tested and had their CGC. The dog my then mother in law took, didn't abuse her but also didn't socialize or correct the dog. While visiting one day my daughter, then around 3, went near the good dish and she ran over and snapped at her. I gave her a quick swift correction and she didn't do it again- although the mother in law was furious!! Too bad.


 I totally agree with you about your MIL dog , you did the dog a favor by correcting it , shame she doesnt see it that way 

If the dog isnt socialized , sure , definitely a chance of showing some sort of nervousness and I dont want to say aggression here , but just not understanding its place in the world may be a better description....

Thanks for doing the work you do with the rescues Clearwtrbeach !!!


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## Crystal (Jan 20, 2013)

That is a hard one. I was attacked by 2 dogs when I was 13. I still have fear issues with dogs. I love dogs & I have dogs & I have even rescued dogs. I myself would have the dog put to sleep. If your son understood the danger with his daughter & not even the damage a dog like that could do to her but the fear she will always have if she was bit. For now until he is willing to put the dog down can he put it in a kennel? So the dog is not around your grand daughter. Good Luck.


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## firelight27 (Apr 25, 2009)

Thats hard. I probably wouldn't serve papers myself if it was my child, just because it sounds like there might have been a rift that is healing as he has gotten his act together and this might damage it. Instead, I would inform his daughter's mother (even though she hates you and talking to her might not be pleasant) and suggest she be the one that takes actions to have the dog put down. She certainly has the right to keep her daughter from visiting if there is a danger, and a court would absolutely agree that a dog that would do that is a danger to the child. If he wants to keep seeing his daughter, he would have no choice but to put the dog down..and then its not on you, its on the child's mother. If he gets mad at you for telling her, you can just say, "Sorry son, I know its your decision but the mother of this child has a right to know there is a danger to her daughter and it would have been wrong of me not to inform her." He would undoubtedly still be angry with you, but would take the perceived offense a bit differently. He might accuse you of meddling or sneaking around, or orchestrating things to get your way...or any other manner of unpleasant things he can think to say in his anger and grief. I'm only 25, but I've grown up with my grandma and her two boys (now in their 50s and 60s) and I've silently watched it all and taken notes on these types of mother/son issues. My uncles still do drugs and crawl to my grandma for everything and can't even keep a roof over their heads or food in their mouths without her though, so they are EXTREME cases and I've heard every insult/excuse. I don't know what sort of things your son went through, but I always assume the situation was not as bad as with my grandma and her kids (because her situaiton is on the deep end of psychotic nonsense) so no I'm not making assumptions. 

That way, although he will be angry, he doesn't take it as you forcing him into something (which you have every right to as the property owner, honestly...a landlord can insist a dangerous dog be removed from a rental)...which could undermine the sense of control he has in his life at this point. To a man, his control, independence, and competence (and thusly strength) is hugely important to his self worth and mental well being. Sort of like a woman's relationship ability is core to her being, or the need to feel beautiful (whether inside or outside.) At least thats what I've discovered through psychological study. In other words, this path would do the least damage to your relationship because he wouldn't feel controlled by you. The dog definitely can't be left alive and not be a danger, however. A little snap is one thing, 50 stitches is vicious. Thats just a thought, would be a plan I might pursue in your situation, but my brain works different than other peoples'...Good luck and prayers for you.


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

I may not have been clear or I just missed a post about serving legal papers. Just in case . I wouldn't serve papers, I'd just tell him in no uncertain circumstances you can not allow the dog on property you own due to the legal ramifications if he bit someone and they sued you. He would have to make the choice to put it down or move- you could just tell him you have xxx amount of days to remove the dog from the property. If it doesn't work, I guess you could do like someone said, shoot shovel shhh.


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## teejae (Jan 21, 2013)

Thats awfull!! Id never ever keep a dog that bites!!None of my buisness but id kick the son out with his dog or he goes or the dog goes.What if the dog bit you? Maybe get a muzzle on the dog for when the grand daughter is there?Teejae


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

I'm sorry this happened. Sadly, my advice is, they need to get the dog off the property IMO. If she's unpredictable, and something happens...
I feel the same way about dogs as I do goats. If I can't trust that my kids can go in the pen and be safe with them, then they can NOT be here.

Whatever happens, my thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Dayna (Aug 16, 2012)

I look at it this way. IF anything happened to that grandchild how would you feel about it knowing it was 100% preventable. Just my two cents. I know dealing with family is hard, even harder when it's your own child.


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## serenityfarmnm (Jan 6, 2013)

I ran a dog rescue for years. We tried to be "No Kill" An aggressive dog can often be worked thru their issues...... However, an UNPREDICTABLE dog is just that, Unpredictable & that is when we'd euthanize.


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## Di (Jan 29, 2008)

Well, I lost my case...he's insisting that he startled the dog in the dark. He did talk to my granddaughters mother and assured her he'd keep a muzzle on the dog. He will post some "Beware of dog" signs out. And, he's got liability insurance, so he says he's covered. I'll get confirmation tomorrow. 

Thank you all for your support. I believe he's making a mistake...but...I've been wrong before.


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## Dayna (Aug 16, 2012)

Liabilty insurance doesn't usually cover family members. Also, that can never "take back" a horrible face mauling on a child. I wish I was closer, I would even offer to board the animal in a kennel while the child is visiting.


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## goathiker (Apr 14, 2011)

Your property insurance is not going to cover anything that happens either. They will find the doctors report. Did your property insurance get notified that that breed of dog was living in the house even? They are on most exclusion lists.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

When I startle my dog at night...she yelps or moves out of the way.....I hope all works out for your grand daughter and son being around the dog, and I hope we are all wrong. Good luck....so sorry you have to deal with this at all.


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## Texas.girl (Dec 20, 2011)

when I was a kid we had a cat like that. Could be the sweetest cat and then for no predictiable reason would bite or scratch or something. We could see he was getting worse. His mom was nuts too and had to be put down after attacking the family. My mom finally put our cat down. Your son's dog needs to be put down but it has to be his decision, not yours. Prayer is a must.

Aren't their laws in PA about dog bites? I am surprised the hospital did not report this incident to the authorities. This dog is a legal liability. I would find out if your home owner's insurance covers dog bites. Since the dog is living in a house you own, and the dog bites a non-relative, you could be sued. I would really find out your legal risks and if your insurance will cover you.


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## JaLyn (Oct 10, 2012)

This is a tough call but as you said he is an adult so my concern now would be for the child who isn't an adult so therefore can't make the decision. I have no answers for you i'm sorry. I too would want the dog put down.


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

FYI , putting a "Beware of Dog" sign on your property is a liability in its self . It is admitting you have a vicious dog on your property and you can have your butt sued off. Take the sign down and get yourself a 
"Dog On Premises" .
People have been sued by their attackers and they lost because the sign was interpreted that they knew the dog was aggressive. 
If your insurance finds out the dog is a mix they will undoubtedly drop you like a hot potato . Do yourself a favor and get rid of the Beware of Dog sign.
Sorry he kept the dog.


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

Let me re phrase this part. If the insurance co pay finds out you have a mix or purebred with GSD, Pit , an many other breeds ,they will either drop you or raise your insurance incredibly .
Some breeds are deemed dangerous by insurance companies and they won't even cover you .


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## 20kidsonhill (Feb 28, 2011)

I thought they had to put the dog down and there would be an investigation???


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

The only time there would be a investigation is if it was reported and the dog was a stray. Because the dog was said to be a family dog and it was up to date with its rabies vaccine , they won't do anything.
Just guessing this is what happened here though.


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## KarmakeeFarm (Jun 3, 2012)

Dog needs to be put down-that bite may have killed his child if it happened to her!! 
My dobe at 11 years old turned around while we were walking and attacked me! that dog had never been agressive in the past-ripped my thigh and leg up bad-then he just went on with our walk-I made arrangement to put him down-he passed away in his sleep-I think he had a brain issue


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

Trickyroo said:


> FYI , putting a "Beware of Dog" sign on your property is a liability in its self . It is admitting you have a vicious dog on your property and you can have your butt sued off. Take the sign down and get yourself a
> "Dog On Premises" .
> People have been sued by their attackers and they lost because the sign was interpreted that they knew the dog was aggressive.
> If your insurance finds out the dog is a mix they will undoubtedly drop you like a hot potato . Do yourself a favor and get rid of the Beware of Dog sign.
> Sorry he kept the dog.


As I was catching up on replys my thought was just that. Tricky hit that right on the head. You don't want beware of dog signs.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

No matter the insurance, losing a child over an unpredictable dog, will be devastating and to late to say, I should of done something. I am so saddened, that your son is not taking that in consideration. I am praying all will be OK. I feel sorry you have to deal with this.


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