# How do you not....



## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

.... talk about your kids (human ones) all the time? 

See there was a topic started about a new goat owner talking about goats all the time to her friends. And I remember doing that a lot before realizing there is more to life then goats (eek I know i just said that!). Plus I didnt want to loose my friends over talking about something they couldnt in any way relate to.

Well Im in a situation here now. Im 27 (almost 28) married and due with our first child in October. All our friends are around our same age BUT none of them have kids. They are either recently married or are still single. 

One of my good friends said "please dont be like my other friends who only talk about their kids all the time" I get it - she wasnt being mean at all just opening my eyes to how it is to those that dont have kids (she loves them but not ready for kids herself yet). 

So Im excited and everyone around me is since Im the only one pregnant its new its fun (for them) and it tends to be the topic of conversation and of course that can get me going on his kicks and moves and how tired I am or whatever comes to mind thats pertinent to my current life situation (aka weight gain, next doctor visit etc). 

how do you not take over every conversation with talks of baby or kids?


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

Easy for me I dont talk much!
But I know what you mean. Sometimes the other person goes on about bad pregnancy etc.
Anybody can be annoying talking non stop & even if you could contribute they might not even hear it.
Just be sensitve, you know, the days of talking goats & they go blank.


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

I think as family and friends they should share your excitment...sure over doing anything can be a bother...too much goat talk..too much kiddo talk..but as a mother of eight and owner of way too many animals lol..this is my life...it is all I have to talk about...share my joys and my troubles..my fustrations and my triumph..because that is what friends do...and in return I will hear all you have to share about your life..your joys and your troubles...I could never stop talking about my kids...they make me proud every day...and our farm is what we do...it is who we are...so no..you can not "not" talk about your kids...and anew baby..no way..chat away..share ..and those who truly are close to you will share in that joy...


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

well, not talking about them is just not possible! maybe with friends who don't have kids try not to go into too much detail about certain things (e.g. how the baby is pooping, peeing and eating or growth rate and development compared to average, etc). big things and feelings, for sure talk about! if your friends don't want to hear about your feelings or trials and tribulations you're having with your new baby, then they're not great friends, are they?

also ask them what's going on with their life?

btw - I don't have any children, so i'm speaking from the opposite side of the fence. I love hearing about my friend's kids...it's important to them so it's important to me. I just don't need to know what they've eaten today and how they're pooping..... 

remember to not be the one to ostracize them b/c they don't have kids...my bf has a few friends like that, and it's just weird. we never get invited to important things like first birthday or sometimes brunches because we don't have kids and everyone else does... I feel that if i'm an important friend to you, it would be nice to be included. let it be my decision whether or not I want to go to a kids party. and yes, we invite them to events and have gatherings where children are involved (everyone says yes when you can come pet the goats...lol)


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## StaceyRosado (Oct 5, 2007)

nchen7 said:


> if your friends don't want to hear about your feelings or trials and tribulations you're having with your new baby, then they're not great friends, are they?
> 
> also ask them what's going on with their life?
> 
> btw - I don't have any children, so i'm speaking from the opposite side of the fence. I love hearing about my friend's kids...it's important to them so it's important to me. I just don't need to know what they've eaten today and how they're pooping.....


all great info -- but I had to laugh :ROFL: about the pooping part. I do get it, it helps to know.

And you are right about them being true or not true friends, most of my true friends are actually married with kids for a long while - even grand parents already. but my friend who made that statement said it with all honesty and she really has been here for me so I didnt take any offense


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

for sure! I've told friends when they share too much, and they've told me the same (really, doesn't happen often...we kind of regulate ourselves...hehe). I mean, I don't describe my goat's poop to my non goat friends....they already think i'm weird enough as it is, no need to add fuel to the fire. lol

I've had a fb friend (not a friend friend, more like an aquaintence) post on fb about her placenta being in the freezer....I mean, that's REALLY not for everyone, and most people don't want to know about your child's placenta being in the freezer for you to be consuming later. things like that, I draw the line!


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

> and most people don't want to know about your child's placenta being in the freezer for you to be consuming later. things like that, I draw the line!


eeeewwwwwweeee


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

Here's a idea for you Stacy..
Next time you feel the urge to talk about baby , you pull out your phone or laptop and talk all you want to us 

We will love to hear everything ! We are like family , lol
Your newly married friends , especially the ladies will flock to you !
They may say that they wont , but they will be fighting over wanting to hold baby or hear about what baby sounds he made that day , etc.....

They will come around. Life is too short


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## DonnaBelle66 (Mar 4, 2013)

Her WHAT BEING WHERE?? Surely you made that up!! LOL. Although anything is possible theses days I suppose.

Of course you are preoccupied with your baby, and anyone who truly loves you understands that!! It's the one thing that will be with you all your life. Parents die, husbands come and go (hopefully not yours) but children are yours forever. Until death do us part. You will experience a love you didn't know existed when you look into that baby's eyes. ENJOY. I have a close friend who is pregnant and I have joined baby-gaga and am playing along!! I'm 67 and she is 32. It's almost like I'm going to have a baby again. LOL a lot. Be happy, revel in your pregnancy it's a gift from God.

DonnaBelle


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## nchen7 (Feb 25, 2013)

i absolutely DID NOT make that up!!!!! i really almost gagged, then unfriended her. it was just NOT acceptable to put that online for all to see!!

and yes, we are all here to hear your stories about your baby - goat, human or otherwise!!

oh, and i almost forgot...:stars: CONGRATS on being mommy to be!!!


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## NavaBoerFarm (Dec 15, 2012)

I heard a story about this topic on NPR, look up the book STFU Parents, that will help a lot. Sounds like some people made a religion around it lol.


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## Axykatt (Feb 1, 2013)

I have a 6 week old baby (and 3 month old goatie babies) and to be honest, I don't even try to talk about anything else. And I haven't since I was about 6 months pregnant. 

I was also up front with my friends and the less baby tolerant are on sabbatical right now because I let them know ahead of time that from my third trimester on I would have NOTHING going on in my life except my baby and my goats. I would be happy to listen and commiserate on their lives, but when it was my turn to talk I would be talking about the baby or the goats. I understand that is annoying for some ppl so for the time being I'm limiting my contact with those friends to non-talking activities like going to the movies or karaoke. I spend my social time with the friends who are interested in comparing cloth diaper brands or milking stands. I don't feel like I'm blowing off my other friends, it's just that my focus is really narrow right now, when it expands again I'll be able to be more interesting again. 

Having a baby takes over everything in your life for a while, I think it's ok to tell your friends that's where your head is right now. At some point you'll come out of mommy mode and be able to talk about movies or trends or politics or whatever, and real friends can appreciate and respect that and either make allowances or give you space for a while. 

And I promise, as unlikely as it sounds, one morning you WILL wake up and realize you absolutely cannot talk about baby stuff for one second longer until you've had some "me" time, and on that day you will gratefully give them a call.


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## TwirlAndTweak (May 1, 2013)

First, congrats on the pregnancy!

Second, why worry about it? I had my first child when I was 24...and I am STILL the only one of my friends who has kids (almost 6 years later). Me talking about them almost 100% of the time hasn't scared any of them away...yet. 

I think everyone has something that they wish they could talk about all of the time, and have everyone's rapt attention...that's why message boards are so popular on the internet.


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## Goats Rock (Jun 20, 2011)

I don't have any goat friends and the guys at work don't seem to share my goat enthusiasm! My kids tell me that I spend more time with the goats than
I ever did with them! (not true, they just don't remember!). So, I don't talk much about the goats, but I do enjoy this site, immensely, because here we can all talk "goat" all day!

My advice to you is to share what you want and enjoy your pregnancy and baby. Your real friends will be excited for you and the others will either listen or not. But the important thing is that you get to talk about your life and the new baby! (and tell us all about it, too!)


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## sweetgoats (Oct 18, 2007)

I look at it as a TRUE FRIEND would want to hear all about them.

I hate to say it and you all have seen it here. My son is 26 and my daughter is almost 23 and I still talk about them. They are a part of my life and always will be. I say TALK AWAY.


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