# Need help from experienced human moms



## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

Sorry if this is in the wrong place. I have an almost 4mo old grandson who has trained his parents on his own schedule which is 45minutes sleep, awake & screaming the rest of the time unless held or being fed. (its not colic) These are the only details I have, other than parents at their wits end & mom seriously sleep deprived. 
I know there is something they can do to reverse this as in teaching him to sleep without getting picked up at his command..its a complicated issue but I bet some of you have been there and trained baby to be on more realistic sched!! These are fisrt time parents.


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## kelebek (Oct 5, 2007)

They really need to stick to their terms or it is only going to get worse.

I swaddled my first child to make her think I was still holding her and it helped alot. I would wrap her up and hold her and then when she fell asleep we would oh so carefully put her in her crib.

Also are they giving any type of cereal or baby food? That will help in getting the little one to sleep longer.


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## Janine (Oct 7, 2007)

Nancy,

It's so hard to see your son/daughter struggle with a new baby. Hopefully they have talked to the doctor when they brought him in for check-ups. That should rule out any serious health issues. 

I have learned that we can only tell our adult children so much - they will hear what they want to hear. They will have to learn to let him cry for a while - or take parenting lessons for a happy, healthy baby (is he hungry, cold, uncomfortable, ear ache, etc, etc....)

I hope I haven't made anyone mad with my opinions, but this too will pass and on to the next issue (a toddler getting into everything, a teenager wanting to take the car out all night....) :wink: 

Good luck and I will say a prayer for you and your family.


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

Thanks Allison, I totally agree..actually they are going to have to learn how to do this...some of it just not come naturally!
The little guy hated being swaddled. They quit swadeling. Had I known it at the time I would have suggested they keep doing it anyway!He hates his cotton picking car seat.Or at least thats how its interpreted. 

I did suggest starting him on a little baby rice cereal.


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

You are so right Janine about you can only tell your adult childern so much! 
And thank you for your opinions! But mostly your prayers!
Asked son when the last check up was..he couldn't remember.


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## trob1 (Oct 5, 2007)

Maybe now is a good time to offer to keep him over night and give them a break so they can look at this with a clear head. With my kids I hated to hear them cry but I had to let them finally cry it out. This age seems to be when this starts and you have to let them learn to self sooth or they will set themselves up for a long time of sleepless nights. I have to say I do not miss this time of parenthood.


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

Yes those are the thoughts Ive been having..offer to take him overnight..the self soothing...babies need training dog gone it! And new mommies & daddies sometimes just don't know that. 
When two yr old grandson here..had to be sent to his room for a time out. Little buggar was kicking the door & screaming, I went in there and held him. He fought me big time but I just held him tight speaking soothing tones..it took several minutes before he gave up and relaxed.


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## sweetgoats (Oct 18, 2007)

WOW, that is so hard to get them to change their habits. If it is just a case of "spoiled baby". (we all have do it a little bit), then they need to let him cry. Do not go to him every time he wakes up. They will get ti down with a little help form you. :lol: 
Now something else just to throw out there. My sisters son was like that. HE cried when you did not hold him 24-7. She finally took him to the Dr. They ran tests and found out he had acid reflex as bad as a adult. that is why he cried like he did. I felt so bad for him. I have it and I can barely handle the pain sometimes.
Something else I had to do for my daughter. I took her to the Chiropractor, it was amazing how that helped.


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## PineRiver (Jan 21, 2008)

I think offering these new parents a night off is a great idea. There is so much adjustment to having a new baby anyway that new parents often let their relationship be put on a back burner, which is not helping probably. I am sure they can figure out just what they are willing to do about their babies sleep issues, but to help them step away for a night, and to sleep in the next morning is priceless! ( ask me how I know) My son was just that way, he is a stuborn little boy, and I have to admit I love that about him. I didn't sleep much after my son was born brecause he was just like that. As long as there are no health issues, I might even give a small amount of my best advise to them but then let them figure it out by themsleves (unless they ask for more advise) because that is one of the harder aspects of parenting in my opinion. When it is time to crack down on bad behavior w/ your kid is often much harder on the parents than on the baby. Nonetheless, I know how hard it is to let your baby cry sometimes. Good luck, thankfully everyone is healthy!


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## jBlaze (Oct 9, 2007)

I do not agree with you all, sorry. I have 3 kids, 13, 6, and 1 yrs. They were each different. You just deal with it as you can, and I hated anyone giving me advice. I usually picked up the babies as long as I was able. As they got older I waited a little longer each week or month. At about a year or so I may take my sweet time going in to help them back to sleep. My son just wanted someone to put his binkey in for him, so I let him cry about that for longer as he was over a year. My baby girl has always been in charge of her binky, sometimes she wakes in the night for comfort, so I will pick her up and when she is sleeping good again, I will put her back in the crib, usually 5 minutes. Who cares of the baby is spoiled. Mine sletp with me till they were between 3 and 6 months. That way I didn't have to worry about it. (of course I would not recommend this to others due to the risk.) As they get older and sleep less durring the day, they will eventually sleep longer at night. I would ask the Dr. about it. Yes, I tried to keep my big mouth shut, but I just cant. You can ignore me, it is just my opinion and what worked for out family.


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## goatnutty (Oct 9, 2007)

Well oviously I don't have kids but good luck with this ordeal.There a lot of babies in my family and we usually just let them whine for a while before we pick them up sorry I know I wasn't much help.


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## Sara (Oct 5, 2007)

I know this is an old topic, but I have an idea of what is a slim possiblity that could be going on.

I'm bi-polar, I had these symptoms when I was a baby too and they are very characteristic of a Bi-Polar baby;
Not wanting to be restrained
Having troubles sleeping
Separation Anxiety
Um Gosh there are more but I'd have to look in my books
Anyways, I doubt that's what is going on but I thought I'd put it out there.


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