# Hard decision



## TheMixedBag (Oct 16, 2010)

I took Widow to the vet again today, and it went south quick. Her temp was over 103, the tendon snapped, the damaged and dead area had grown massive, and she had no energy left, though she was still eating and drinking. She was ultrasounded first, no kids.

I just feel dead right now. Enraged at the dog's owner, furious with myself for all of it, and just utterly lost with her gone. Addy is softly crying for her, she's run in and out of the shed 20 times already. She is for sale, I can't afford even a cheap wether buddy for her, and feel horrible for keeping her by herself. I will get goats again, but likely not this year.

I kept her number 42 tag. I can't even look at it without bawling right now...


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Oh my word ... I feel brokenhearted for you and for her ... 

Please know that you have my prayers. There's not much I can say other than I am so, so very sorry. This breaks my heart. What a strong little girl. What a good goat momma you are, and don't you let yourself say otherwise -- you did everything you could. You went above and beyond to give this girl a chance.


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## peggy (Aug 11, 2010)

I am so sorry.....


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## clearwtrbeach (May 10, 2012)

Oh I'm so sorry for you. It's a horrible situation. can you check CL and maybe find somebody willing to part with one for free so they don't feed during the winter? You can always ask all they can say is no. It's worth a shot. Again, I'm sorry for your pain. :grouphug::mecry:


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## kristinatucker (Jan 3, 2012)

Oh no. Im so sorry. You took such good care of her and tried the best that you were able. I have a feeling in the long run it was going to be for the best but that dosent make things any easier. Hugs to you as you decide on what you need to do with the last girl.


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## Jodi_berg (Oct 29, 2012)

That's awful,to have her do so well,then gone.I'm so sorry, sometimes you can find $10 goats on Craigslist. Please don't give up if you love your other goat stick with her,she needs you too and she may help you feel better!


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

So sorry Mixedbag. Hugs.


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## JaLyn (Oct 10, 2012)

I am really sorry.


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## WhisperingWillowNDG (Jul 20, 2011)

(((Hugs))))


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## Texas.girl (Dec 20, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss. How tragic.:hug:

We just casterated some twins on Monday. They were born in Sept. and abandoned by their mother. So they were given to me. I just checked and we are only 575 miles south of you. They appear to be Spanish with maybe a little Boer. I have posted their pics before--Zorro and Boots. I currently have a buck and now 3 wethers and though we love these boys, we just can't keep every boy given to us. Take a few days to recover from your loss. Don't make any rash decisions (about selling your Abby). If after a few days you decide to try and keep Abby and cannot find a wether you can afford, keep in mind there are some wethers in Texas who need a good home. Maybe with some help from our TGS friends we could get one of the boys to you. Just a thought.


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## TheMixedBag (Oct 16, 2010)

Now that I've calmed down some, I can properly post.

From what the vet said, amputation was her only shot, BUT he didn't want to put her through it since there wasn't enough living skin to close it. While it looked like she was getting better, the leg was continuing to rot, to the point where there was dead tissue almost up to the hip. There was just no stopping it, and he was afraid the infection and dead tissue would get into the bloodstream. Her temp was 103.9, and she could barely even lift herself into the car. She just looked tired of the whole situation, and didn't really lift her head above her shoulders.

Right now I think I'm most upset about not just following what my heart was telling me last week, but at least she's not in pain anymore. The vet was very kind and quiet, and gave me and her a big hug before I left.

Thank you so much for everything, guys. I mean it. I'd be lost without all the help I've gotten from here, especially now. Hard as I try, I still feel like maybe I could have done more, or maybe I should have ended it sooner. I don't know. I'll spend some time with Addy tomorrow, calm down and try to find her a friend. I *might* be able to keep her with some sheep my friend has.


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

I would have fought too, very hard. You gave her the best chance you could, you shouldn't be feeling any guilt, you did the right thing :hug:


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## PiccoloGoat (Sep 10, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss  I have been following your threads about her and you did your best to help her get better. I hope you're okay :hug:


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## .:Linz:. (Aug 25, 2011)

I am SO very sorry. :hug:


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## Trickyroo (Sep 26, 2012)

Im so very sorry about Widow  :hug:
It broke my heart to read this . But it breaks my heart more that you might give up Addy. I understand your reasoning why , its the right choice if you cannot find a buddy. 
But give it a little bit of time. Collect yourself so you can think clearly.
You are very emotional now understandably . I know you have Addy's best interests at heart , but I think you need each other and I would hate to see you part with her too soon .

You can both console each other now , and hopefully soon you will be welcoming a new goat to your family.


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## Shotzy11 (Dec 15, 2012)

I am so sorry. I was so hopeful while reading the end of your other post. It's so hard to lose them. *hugs* You did everything you could.


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## dixiequeen (Nov 16, 2012)

So very sorry ! HUG'S to you & Andy.


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## WhisperingWillowNDG (Jul 20, 2011)

My heart is grieving with you today as well. It is never easy to lose a friend (and they do become our friends - in some cases more than many people I have known). 

Where are you located (I'm using the app on my phone so please forgive me if it is listed in your signature as they do not appear on app posts)?? We may be able to locate a goat buddy.


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## Used2bmimi (Oct 3, 2012)

Oh I wish I was closer so I could hug you and give you a goatie. I'm glad to hear you having second thoughts about selling Addy. I hope you find a way to find her a friend and keep her. You tried so hard for Widow and you shouldn't feel guilty about fighting.


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## WhisperingWillowNDG (Jul 20, 2011)

And please oh please don't beat yourself up. You absolutely did everything you could for your girl. Your vet gave you good advice, and you did well to heed it and give her the option of the best possible outcome. She (and YOU) fought "the good fight". It was NOT YOUR FAULT that she didn't survive. ((Hugs)) we will be here for moral support -- tonight, tomorrow, 6 months from now, 10 years from now. 

Goats will break your heart, but they will also mend it stronger than it was before.


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## firelight27 (Apr 25, 2009)

Oh no! I know words aren't the best bandage, but I am really very sorry. I do help you are able to find a buddy for Addy and get to keep her. I would post a wanted ad for a companion goat and see if anyone offers a freebie.


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## gafarmgirl (Jan 2, 2013)

Oh my word I am so sorry praying for y'all !


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## Terra Mia (Dec 21, 2011)

I'm sorry,.. I know how much it hurts. We had to put a neighbors goat down who was attacked by dogs in a field down the road. His brother was attacked too but he survived. Give yourself some comfort to know you were able to relieve her from pain and you provided the best comfort and care. That you made the right decision when the time needed it. We have been raising livestock for 4 years. We have lost 1 goat , 4 sheep (2 to Copper toxicity when they got into pig feed and one to pnemonia and one to uterine prolapse) The last I had to put down myself immediately because there was no one else around to do it. None of us want to have to go through the pain these animals can bring to your heart, but then they end up carving your ability to experience joy even deeper into your heart. 

In my grief I have wondered if I had enough strength to keep working with these animals... but they heal your heart. Just follow your heart..it knows what to do. I think it is really amazing that there are people on here that are willing to help you find a companion for your remaining goat. It may just be the renewal and restoration in faith that you need. At the very least know that you are not alone. I have a special place for my ear tags too.  Hugs >>>>>


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## augusffa (Dec 31, 2012)

I am so sorry :'( no one should hav to go through this. Everything will be alright in the end and if its not alright, then it's not the end :hugs:


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## caprine crazy (Jun 12, 2012)

I'm so very for your loss.


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## countrygirl17 (Nov 4, 2012)

I am so so sorry! Hugs!!


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## MOgoatlady (Oct 23, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't see this post till now and wish I had been here earlier to say that. I hope everything works out to get her a companion, and all my best wishes.


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## nursehelg (Jul 5, 2012)

I am so sorry for you and Addy's loss. She needs you too. I'm sure you will find her a buddy. I'll be praying for you.


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## sweetgoats (Oct 18, 2007)

I too am so sorry for your loss.

I believe you did the right thing. You did try and she tried to get better. As tired as she was you did the right thing and I know how hard that is to make that decision and to know you did what was right. You did. :grouphug:

I am sure you will find another goat. Really that is the best therapy.


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## HoosierShadow (Apr 20, 2010)

OMG I somehow missed this. I am so very very sorry about Widow  How heartbreaking, she was a nice young doe. You did what you could for her, and didn't give up on her either. You did what a majority of us would have done - try to save her. 

How is Addy now? Have you been able to find her a buddy?
Maybe you can put an ad on craigslist, explain what happened and try to find a goat that you can put with her? 

Again i am so sorry


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## TheMixedBag (Oct 16, 2010)

Thank you guys so much! I'm feeling better about the situation, getting papers and evidence in order for court is helping a bit. Still no luck finding a companion for Addy, but she's making do for now with a very old toy poodle mix who hasn' left her alone for more than an hour or so at a time.


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## geonjenn (Oct 3, 2012)

I just now saw this topic and a know you've found a new goat, but if you need one, I have two nubian boys that are for sale, but I'd be willing to give you one. I've also got a boer mix wether (but he has horns). You're only about 240 miles from me. I'm so sorry about all the trouble you have had.


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## kafairch (Oct 8, 2012)

So sorry for your loss it is so hard to loose a wonderful animal.


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