# Goodbye Dad I love you



## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

For those of you who remember me you probably also remember my Dad. He was terminally ill with cancer the last 2 years of his life and the year before that plagued with kidney stones, heart valve problems and eye problems. But my Daddy never gave up. He loved life and was a fighter. He was still active out on his farm til August of 2015 when I found him down outside my house. Things gradually begin going downhill from there. He took his last breath in his sleep on May 19th. My mother, daughter and I were there and I was the one to find him already gone quietly. 
He was only 5'6" or so but he was mu Superman. He was tireless and often out did men half his age right up until the cancer attacked him. Even after hospice was called in you could often find him on the tractor or cutting wood. He just never understood the word quit. He loved us so much he fought for every precious second. I know this because he told my mother "I want every second with y'all I can get". He got down 3 different times so bad we thought it was the end only to rally again and get better enough to make it back and forth to his chair where he could sit and visit with the family and eat at tye table with us all. My mother and he were married 61 years. He was 84 but his birthday is in June he just couldn't quite make it. I loved him dearly and I feel like a rotary tiller has ran through my insides and torn them up. I was able to honor him by writing and reading his Eulogy which was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I have ever done. We were also able to get him Military Honors at his funeral since he served during Korean War. I know my Daddy is at peace now and I am glad of that, but I certainly am not.
Just thought I should let the ones of you who remember know.


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## deerbunnyfarm (Dec 14, 2015)

So sorry to hear about your dad.  We will keep your family in our prayers.


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## Rise_and_Shine_Ranch (May 16, 2015)

I am so sorry...  Sending prayers


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces (Apr 7, 2013)

Oh Leslie, I'm so sorry! :hug: I know exactly how it feels, I never knew my dad as a kind man, but it tore me up watching him pass. I'm still not okay with everything that happened, but he is at rest now-- as is your father. 
Your dad sounds like he was a great one, you have a lot of good memories with him, hold onto them. 
I know you're not okay, and there's nothing I can say that will make it better, but it will get a little easier with time. :hug: :hug:


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## ThreeHavens (Oct 20, 2011)

Hugs and prayers being sent to you and your family. :rose:


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Oh Leslie! I am so sorry :hug: I know how much he meant to you and your daughter :hug: I know it is hard for you and I am so sorry :hug:


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

Oh Leslie, my deepest sympathy for you and your family. You and your family will definitely be in my prayers.


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

I do remember your dad. I am so sorry for your loss.
He sounds so much like my father who continued tutoring students until his last trip to the hospital. I also understand how your insides can feel like they have been tilled.
I wish I had magic words to make it better. You and yours will be in our thoughts.


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## Dayna (Aug 16, 2012)

my deepest sympathy. Its so hard to lose a parent.


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## nancy d (Oct 5, 2007)

Oh Leslie so sorry for your loss.


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## HappyCaliGoats (Mar 19, 2014)

I will keep you in my prayers Leslie, so sorry you are going through this now... :hug:


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## happybleats (Sep 12, 2010)

Very sorry for your loss....(( hugs)):grouphug:


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. It is much appreciated.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

Miss you on here Leslie!


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## top_goat (Sep 16, 2014)

I don't know you, Leslie -- but your testimony about your dad tells me alot! He obviously was an incredible man...loving father, devoted husband, hard worker. I expect he probably had a great sense of humor too!!! I'm so sorry for your loss!


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## Dayna (Aug 16, 2012)

Grieve as much as you can. 4 years and 2 weeks ago I lost my Mom to brain cancer. I spent so much time making sure everyone else was okay I didn't take the time to grieve my own loss. I'm just starting to really process the fact that she's gone. I picked up my phone to call her a few days ago and it really hit me. 

So make sure you take time for your own sadness. Its important. And if you ever need to talk, I'm here.


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## NubianFan (Jun 3, 2013)

I am not doing well with it at all. I cry almost constantly any time I am left to my thoughts. If I stay busy distracted by people I do halfway ok but if not I am destroyed. A friend came and stayed friday night and most of Saturday with me. After she left I got in the shower. I wasn't in the shower 3 minutes before grief sucker punched me like Mike Tyson. I seriously nearly hit my knees. I was sobbing uncontrollably and had to literally hang onto the shower curtain rod and the shower head to stay upright. I just can't accept that he is never coming back. I went to moms house yesterday and it feels like a big empty shell. Like a cocoon after the butterfly has flown away. I am definitely grieving. And I am also somewhat annoyed that no one else seems to be grieving.


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

I guess everyone grieves in different ways. I can't imagine how devastating it is.


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## nicolemackenzie (Dec 27, 2014)

Your father sounds like an amazing man. So sorry for your loss. Be easy on yourself.


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## glndg (Feb 8, 2013)

I remember, Leslie. Big hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I am not sure what your beliefs are on this, but I do believe that those who have passed watch over us. Be comforted that he is still with you even though you cannot see, hear, and touch him. Be alert to the signs and believe. He lived a good long life and left his loved ones with the knowledge that they were and always will be loved. There is no way around the grief that you feel now, but you will go on and can take comfort as well in knowing that you will see him again.


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## CrazyDogLady (Aug 9, 2014)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my father over four years ago, and he's still on my mind every day. I miss him, but that stabbing pain of loss has lessened. Now I look at my property and think how much he would have loved it, he always loved mountains. Sometimes I can feel him looking down on me and enjoying my country life through me. I still cry sometimes because I miss him, but I've grown accustomed to the hurt and I guess that's easier. I'll say a prayer for you and yours today.


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## J.O.Y. Farm (Jan 10, 2012)

Oh Leslie.... I'm so sorry.... :hug: I know how hard the last few years have been on you and your daughter.... I'm so sorry for your loss, but, at least he's peacefully resting now and no longer in pain or suffering.


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

:hug: I am so very sorry, how devastating. Prayers for you and the family.


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## margaret (Aug 30, 2013)

I'm so sorry Leslie:hug:
I'll be praying for you:hug:


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## Goats Rock (Jun 20, 2011)

So very sorry for your loss.


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