# Devastated.



## thegoatgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

I'm absolutely devastated right now. This morning, I lost one of my does in what seems to have been a freak accident. She was fine one minute, down on the ground the next, and I wasn't able to save her. There was no time to call a vet, and her last moments were spent with me cradling her head in my lap, desperately trying to keep her breathing. :tears:

She was my herd queen, my "baby". She was the very start of it all, and I still can't believe she's gone.
I'm numb. All over. 

All the what-ifs, and the could-have-beens .... they're all swirling through my head. 
When she kidded, I had considered taking her to the vet, since I ended up having to pull two kids. I decided not to, though, since she was on feed and seemed to be recovering well.
I'm kicking myself for it now. 

Her kids, just a few days old - it's like they know something has changed. They're all quiet, now. 
Her two daughters, fully grown, have all gathered at the fence line and have been watching for the past hour and a half. I look at them and see her in the way they move and the way they look at me, and though it helps, in a way, it also hurts. 

She'd had such a tough year, but I'd hoped maybe she was finally over it all. She was going to get a nice, long break, and get to see her kids grow up, but it seems like it was her time to go.


Rest in peace, sweet girl. You will be remembered for a long, long time.


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## billiejw89 (May 7, 2014)

so sorry


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

I feel your pain:tears:
I am so very sorry.


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## ksalvagno (Oct 6, 2009)

I'm so sorry.


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## groovyoldlady (Jul 21, 2011)

(((((Hugs))))) It's so hard to lose an animal we love. I am praying for the Lord to comfort you.


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## NyGoatMom (Jan 26, 2013)

So sorry


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## goatblessings (Jan 6, 2015)

So sorry for your loss:tears:


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## Suzanne_Tyler (Jul 19, 2014)

I am so sorry


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## thegoatgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

Thank you guys so much. :hugs: It's so wonderful, being able to come into a "safe-zone" where everyone gets the emotions you're going through.
I kind of barreled through the day, but every time I look out there and see her doeling from last year standing at the fence line crying I just lose it. :mecry:
It was just so sudden, and I think it hurts more because of that, since I had no time to try and save her. It was most likely a blood clot or a tear that worsened abruptly after kidding.

I know that this is a normal and necessary part of raising livestock, but gosh it hurts.  
I just want to wake up and find this is all a terrible dream, though I know that'll never happen.


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## Dayna (Aug 16, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Serenity Woods (Apr 2, 2012)

Heartfelt condolences. I'm so sorry you lost her.


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## luvmyherd (Apr 9, 2011)

>>>>It's so wonderful, being able to come into a "safe-zone" where everyone gets the emotions you're going through.<<<<

This place is so very special that way.:grouphug:


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## Udder Folks (May 24, 2013)

I'm so very, very sorry. Sending prayers for your comfort.


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## margaret (Aug 30, 2013)

:hug:


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## sejoyce (Feb 25, 2017)

I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. Take comfort in the fact that she had a good life with you and I can tell she was loved.


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## thegoatgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

Thanks y'all. I'm taking comfort in her kids, particularly the "littles". One of the doelings looks exactly like Brea at that age.


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## tahtah64 (Mar 5, 2017)

So sorry


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## LuvMyNigies (Sep 14, 2013)

Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry. :tears: :hug:

Sending Prayers your way.


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## catharina (Mar 17, 2016)

So sorry for your loss! :rose:


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## thegoatgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

Thanks so much, you guys. :hugs:


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## toth boer goats (Jul 20, 2008)

I am so very sorry, I too know what it feels like to lose a special goat or goats. Not a good feeling and yes, I did the what if's myself. 

The other goats do sense what is happening, it is truly sad to see. Again, I am so very sorry.


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