# Dealing with family?



## Goat Song

I have a question that I'm not all together sure how to ask, but.... How do you deal with (or how would you recommend dealing with) family members that do NOT like your goats, or like the fact that you have goats? I've been in a situation like this for about a year now, and things just keep on getting harder. For the most part, I just hold my tongue and accept the fact that my family isn't happy with me, but I feel like I'm up against a wall. They keep on making things harder, and more and more often I'm finding myself in tears of frustration, trying to make things work. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up....


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## Calico Patch Farm

Do you know why they don't like your goats??


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## nubians2

You may need to sit down and have a heart to heart about what they don't like about your goats. You will have to be open and listen, then see if there is something that can be down to create a compromise. Meaning if you do something that makes them happy then they have to stop complaining about your goats and making things harder. You will know that they still don't like them but if they stop making things so difficult then you could probably live with that. If it is a sibling could it be jealousy? I am sure it is very frustrating


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## sblueram6

dump family keep goats 
goats smell look act better than most family. :laugh: :laugh:


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## Goat Song

sblueram6, I think I like your suggestion. :laugh: 

I asked them why they don't like the goats and got a variety of answers. One person said it's because they're stinky, useless, ugly creatures that have no purpose in life. Another said it's because our pasture got fenced in for them (they won't tell my why they won't just go through a gate now to get to it). Another said because they are a waste of time and money. And a few more answers (or retorts, take your pick) were that "it's pointless to keep them for milk when you can get better stuff (Huh!?!?) at the store" (oh yeah, I had forgotten that that white, lifeless liquid in the store is call milk.), "They take up room in the barn, when it could instead be turned into a shooting gallery", and "There are thousands of other things you could do with your time." 

I think a large portion of things has to do with ME. I'm different, and my family can't forgive me for it. I like old fashioned things; I like to use herbs instead of drugs; I am considered a "foodie" (I like grass fed meats, raw milk, and organic veggies); I want to farm as an occupation (in our family, girls don't have occupations), and I am pretty active in agriculture politics. My family doesn't like any of that, and they seem to have this mindset of "If Caity likes it, then we won't". I don't get it! I stay pretty quiet about things, since I know they don't like it. I try not to talk about food, but they still get upset when I trade 1/2 gallon of raw milk for some neighbor's eggs, or when I ask to have a garden. I stay mum when it comes to politics, but it doesn't help that my parents read all of my e-mails about those things. Overall, I'm a quiet person; but I don't know how much longer I can stay quiet. I have a blog, which really helps things. I'm able to vent and talk about my interests on there and know that my readers agree with me. My family never visits it.

I don't want to cause an uproar in the house, but neither do I want to sell my goats. I've been dipping into depression lately, over this; which is why I decided to just go ahead and ask y'all for some advice. 'Cause I'm stumped!


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## sblueram6

tell them thay can suck up all thay wont to but when you die the goats get everthing .... :laugh: :laugh:


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## lissablack

Will you post a link to your blog Caitlyn? I'm sorry you are having this problem, don't have any advice though. 

Jan


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## Goat Song

Sure Jan. It's www.lifeatmennageriefarm.blogspot.com

It used to go by the name of 'Life at Mennagerie Farm', but my family finally shut that down. So it's now 'To Sing with Goats'.


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## Calico Patch Farm

If they are your family, they need to learn to respect your choices wether they like them or not. It's just what families do. I think you need to sit down and have a talk with them. Just tell them that you enjoy having the fresh milk and keeping the goats is a hobby of yours. I'm sure they all do things that you don't like, but you don't say anything about it because you are family. Tell them that you are supportive of the things they like and you wish that they would do the same for you. During the "talk", don't look weak, but be polite about it. If they still don't respect you and the goats, you can't let it get to you; that is what they want. Stay strong. I hope you can get through to them.


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## GotmygoatMTJ

I'm sorry your family isn't accepting of your interests. It sounds more like THEY are the old fashioned ones. Women in the family don't have an occupation? What is this, the 1940's? YOU have every right to do what you love, and pursue your interests. If they don't like it, they can go do what they want and shove that foot higher up their a**es.


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## freedomstarfarm

I think what you are doing is wonderful and that eating natural is great!! :clap: :clap: :clap: 
I am sorry that your family can't see that! :hug:


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## Jessaba

You are not the only one...my family accused me of "settling" because I wanted to raise a farm with goats and chickens instead of going to college at the moment(am going back now)....they don't understand how I can be happy doing this...they accused my hubby of making me do it, when actually he could care less if we have these animals...its because of me!! So basically I told them if they don't like it get out of my life and well we no longer speak.


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## milk and honey

Well.... I'm usually known as "Crazy Aunt Heidi" in my family...so I kinda know what you mean.. I have totally different interests than my sisters and their families. Sometimes it hurts a bit, but as they say "you cant choose your family" but you can choose your friends! and I'm lucky enough to have a few REALLY good friends. They are more of a support to me than family. I hope you have or can find people with similar interests and priorities. 
Sometimes you just have to write off family as 'just who they are...'


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## Mandara Farm

Hi Goat Song,

I like Calico's advice to sit down and talk -- but I also know that some of us are just NOT cut from the same cloth as the rest of our natal family. You and I have that in common. They may not understand, accept, or respect your choices. By all means, talk to them and try to change things if you can, but be prepared to fall back to plan B: Take responsibility for being different. Own it. Respect yourself for what you are trying to accomplish in your life. Do not expect your relatives to understand your goals -- they may never do so -- but don't let the judgements of others slide you into depression. You don't want to cave in before you've hardly gotten started, right? The world needs your talent and your fresh-from-the-farm organic goods!  

IMHO, family are those people who love and support you no matter what. Relatives are those people who condemn you and blame you no matter what. Family aren't necessarily blood relatives. If you're lucky, they are, and if not, you may have to find your family. Meantime, love your relatives, continue to be kind to them like you already are, even if you don't get a garden right now. Just make sure to stay the course in your own deepest heart, and you'll come through these difficult tests stronger and wiser. 

Hope this is helpful :hug:


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## Goat Song

Oh wow. Thank you guys for such amazing support! :hug: You all speak a lot of truth... I always have such a hard time actually standing up for myself, and usually end up being trampled under foot... You could ask anyone in my family, and they would all tell you that I am not good at arguing. When someone tries it, I just shut down, and stop talking. I know it's not a good way to resolve things, but I can't seem to help it. For too many years I've been given the "dumb female" treatment, and the thought of defending myself seems foreign....



> IMHO, family are those people who love and support you no matter what. Relatives are those people who condemn you and blame you no matter what. Family aren't necessarily blood relatives. If you're lucky, they are, and if not, you may have to find your family. Meantime, love your relatives, continue to be kind to them like you already are, even if you don't get a garden right now. Just make sure to stay the course in your own deepest heart, and you'll come through these difficult tests stronger and wiser.


Thank you Mandara, that is beautiful advice.

I guess if another spat comes up about the goats (which will most likely be tomorrow; we already had today's), then I'll try y'alls advice about talking with them.


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## firelight27

It's as if your desires and hobbies are drugs and alcohol! Honestly, if THEY don't have to take care of the goats and there is nothing that actually bothers them about the goats..(like if they screamed in the middle of the night, or constantly got out and jumped on cars or something) then they need to shut up. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the things you like, and they need to understand that. Your hobbies are innocent and fun and any other normal family would absolutely support and nurture these types of interests. I would flat out ask them if they loved me at all, explain that their attitude makes you feel disliked, and that you are depressed because of it. Explain taht you don't know WHY you like what you do, but that these are innocent and normal hobbies that thousands and thousands of people in our country engage in, and that you REQUIRE their support. THEY don't have to get involved with what you like! They just have to quit treating you like dirt! They should honestly be ashamed of themselves. I hope you pull through this, you seem very sweet. And it won't be long until you can possibly go find your own place.


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## Amos

Here here! Excellent advice. You're right Firelight, seems like family should support other's interests - or at least not tear them down for having them. 

You and I have already chattered up a storm about this Caitlyn, so I don't have a whole lot to add.. Sorry =(


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## TinyHoovesRanch

My dad kinda used to hate my goats...he was NEVER a animal person!

But everytime he would get mad about me buying another goat I would say

"Dad, would you rather me be buying drugs, or alcohol, or be pregnant or in jail? These goats are HARMLESS and at least by having these goats im staying out of trouble, unlike almost ALL my friends..."

He shut up after that LOL and now he likes them and is still trying to learn all their names!

Im sorry your family doesnt like them, I hope you can get them to change!


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## Goat Song

:laugh: Maybe I should try your tactic, Laura.... Maybe I would get a different response. 

Good to hear from you Firelight! Poppet says 'Hello'! (and she is looking sooo beautiful! She's got a date with a Buttin' Heads buck this winter!) The goats are, for the most part, very unobtrusive in life... They're quiet (except Ivy when she's in heat, or Poppet when she sees us in the backyard and wants to join us :roll: ), there is no smell (unlike when I had my cow!!), they stay where they are supposed to, and my family doesn't have any responsibilities with them. The only thing I ask for from them is some help to get their grain and hay (and when buying a new goat; which isn't often), since I haven't learned how to drive yet. There have been times where I have gone three days or more without grain or hay (never both), because telling them that I'm out is awful; you'd think that I was 'fessing that I had just committed a crime.  

I finally hit the point last month, where I was no longer comfortable keeping my animals on my parents property, and asked my parents if I could move them over to our neighbor's land. It seemed like a good compromise to me; I could keep my goats and have more land to use, our neighbors were ecstatic to have something to mow their grass down, and my family would have their pasture and barn back. I asked for no help from them, I told them I was willing to do the work and pay for everything myself, but permission was still denied. I still plan on moving them though. I'm sure that it's quite rebellious of me, but I really think it will be best for everyone. Shucks, I can't even make the simple decision on where to put the haystack! Really, I just want a little bit of freedom.... To make some of my own choices... Is that so very bad of me? 

It's possible that I might be spending next summer in Virginia, interning at a farm that I've always wanted to go to. If I do, then there is the possibility that I may stay and intern for a whole year (if I stay the year, they pay a monthly stipend of $1500 to $2000); but that's still pretty far ahead. Closer to the here and now, is that I have some cheesemaker friends who are willing to take me on as an intern, and if things start getting out of hand over here, then I may resort to staying with them for awhile. 

It hurts me though, that things are like this....


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## HoosierShadow

I dont' live near my family, but they love the goats. 

My husband and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things with goats. Like feeding, selling/buying, building things, etc. He still thinks goats don't need grain this time of year! Since I started feeding them what I think they need, they look sooo much better! I've been making sure they get the best hay I can afford, and I am making sure they have what they need. I am a stay at home mom with very little income, so I am proud of getting the girls back on the right track.
He works with horses, and wants to compare the goats to horses quite a bit. Like many horses don't get much grain this time of year or very little hay - mostly pasture unless they are currently racing and just taking a break on the farm.

Different issue, but same frustrations! Oh, and the biggest issue is because he bought most of the goats, he thinks all the $$ from their sales goes to him. I raised those babies, made sure they had everything they needed, the kids helped too, and it was the buck that I purchased that made those babies...so yeah..I think it's not a one way street....I told him we need to agree that $$ earned from the goats should go back on the goats....with that said, I've got the $$ from the last sales, and we arent' spending it until we go to Lowes this weekend...LOL


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## Randi

> I think a large portion of things has to do with ME. I'm different, and my family can't forgive me for it.


I've spent a life-time of being "different". It is not only my family that thinks so. I finally, at some point in the youth of my life, stood up and said, "ok, I'm a little odd. Get over it. I like me just fine and if you don't your loss." I was amazed at how much better I get along with the world.

Tell them the goats are staying. They do not have to like them or deal with them. If they want to make you miserable then the family can be miserable with goats or they can leave you and the goats alone and the family can be happy with goats. Make them understand that you are you and they have to deal with you that way, because there is no changing it.

If all else fails come live with me. :hug:


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## Farmgirl675

Keep your chin up and stand firm when your family gets on your case, they should respect the fact that these are your interests! I realize you are young but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders (which you should be very proud of) I would do as others have suggested and let your family know exactly how they are making you feel.....they don't have to like everything you do but should be supportive of WHATEVER makes you happy! 

Kudos to you for choosing to do things more organic.....you'll be a healhier happier person! 

Remember you will always have your TGS family...... :grouphug:


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## Jessaba

I've tried the talking approach and it gets me no where...thank goodness I have my hubby and his dad.. Heck his dad treats me better than any of my family and as weird as it may be I call him dad  

He is the one who helps with my goat addiction, hubby doesn't mind them and even says some are "pretty" ....while my "real" family I no longer talk to...it use to hurt me too, but I finally told them to back off if they don't like what I do so now we don't speak...go figure right? lol 

good luck..hopefully it wont cause as much drama as it did with my family.


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## Robynlynn

I want to "LIKE" Mandera's post... Surround your self with people who support you! Goats are great for the soul! 
Warning...Keep you goals and prioities in line as far as your goats go~it's easy to take in more goats than you can support  
It's great being a crazy goat lady! I'm glad you're one too!


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## PznIvyFarm

Randi said:


> Tell them the goats are staying. They do not have to like them or deal with them. If they want to make you miserable then the family can be miserable with goats or they can leave you and the goats alone and the family can be happy with goats. Make them understand that you are you and they have to deal with you that way, because there is no changing it.


i agree with alot of the supportive advice, but i don't know if taking an adverserial approach will work if you HAVE to live with your parents. (not sure how old you are) It sounds like they control everything right now, so is it possible they could sell your goats if they got annoyed enough? Maybe it would be best to get the goats off your parents' property.

I don't understand your family either. My parents were always supportive of most of our hobbies, as one person said we weren't doing drugs or getting into trouble, we were playing with our animals. The only thing dad said no to was dairy cows b/c he grew up on a dairy farm and didn't want to deal with milking ( i never even thought of goats) I have a nephew now that is interested in all sorts of animals and other science/nature stuff and is not allowed to keep anything in the house or the garage. Rather frustrating that they don't support his interests, instead they keep putting him into sports things that he hates. He keeps saying he wants to come live with me (which my sister LOVES to hear, you can guess...................oh well, we don't get along anyway hahaha)


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## CluckyJay

No idea how old you are.

I just do not understand some people. You're not a drug addict, run-around teenager(?) like so many are. You have your goats and take care of them and keep out of trouble. You seem respectful of other's feelings. Hmm, I'd say you are a bad kid that needs punishment? Sheesh.

I hope your parents realize how wonderful it is to have you and your obsession with goats. Better goats than boys, crack or meth.

Now this of course is barring that your family cannot afford the goats. I don't know the whole situation and if they are putting a real financial strain on your parents then I can understand. 

I am very quick to lean towards the side of keeping livestock and keeping yourself out of worldly trouble though, LOL.

I hope it all works out for you soon.


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## Randi

My offer stands. If you and hubby reach the point, you can move to Maryland and we will help you and the goats. :thumb:


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## Goat Song

Hi guys. I am once again just floored at y'alls support. :grouphug: You guys are awesome! Background info on me is that I'm only 19, still single, second oldest child of 10 kids, I pay for everything with the goats, even the gas when my parents drive me to get hay or something, and while I could move out at any time, it is discouraged in our family. I want to learn how to drive, so I don't have to keep bothering my parents, buuuut.... My parents don't have the time to teach me how. So I'm not sure when that will happen.
Randi, where in Maryland do you live? I have some relatives who just recently moved up there.  

It's going to be really interesting when I pop the news that I'm getting a buck.... That just might cause the eruption I've been waiting for... Maybe I just need to hurry up and get it over with though. Perhaps things will get easier when they see that I'm serious about this (I doubt it though; will most likely get sent to my room for being disrespectful). Or things may backfire, and I could get thrown out, and my goats given away. That is one threat that they use a lot; giving my goats away for free to whomever will take them first. I'm pretty much walking on eggshells.

I don't think it's so much that they're bad parents. They're not. I have certainly never gone without a meal, and I've always had clothes on my back. Shucks, I even got braces when I was younger. The only thing I can think of is that with 10 kids, it's probably hard to treat everyone fairly (I do see some favoritism going on though), and I could see how it would be easy to push some to the side. I'm not in school anymore, so it's not like I need daily attention to get the schoolwork done, and I'm old enough to be relatively independent. I've kind of turned into a shadow, it seems.


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## firelight27

I still don't think you deserve to be treated like that one little bit. You might just have to end up trying to rent a field or find a rental that will allow the goats. It might be discouraged for you to move out in your family, but if they are not going to let you be your own person, that might be what you have to do. Also, at 19, you are certainly adult enough to not sent to your room. ESPECIALLY when you, as a responsible adult who takes care of her own animals, deciding to get a buck is NOT "disrespectful". Your parents are insane! Lol. But I know different families work differently...I don't know what else to say. It is a very hard situation.


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## xymenah

Goat song the things you say about your parents are material things. I'm not saying they are bad parents but they obviously do not give you the mental support you need if that makes sense. While my parents are great they have given me anything material wise I have every truly asked for I have not gotten any of the mental support I need. Just an outside observation... I am younger than you(17) but I understand completely what you feel like. I am in a similar situation. My mom is unhappy that the goats are in her back yard and taking up the room for my dads work shop. However my parents are semi supportive about my goats(my mom isn't really but she understands at least). 

While I try to do everything I can to stay out of the way. Such as stretching hay and grain so they don't have to take me to the feed store as much because I also cannot drive yet either. Or trying to keep them quiet so my mom does not throw a fit that they are too loud. And putting in as much money as I can to help pay for them. They are currently mad at me because my goats are not making any money just "taking up space". We have a freezer full of milk that I want to make soap out of to make money but they will not allow me to make soap yet. So I told them I need to buy a buck so I can have kids to sell and make money but I am not allowed to do that either so I don't see how I am supposed to make money. Hope everything works out ok though. :hug:


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## sweetgoats

I am so sorry you are going through this. 
You know it takes all kids of people to keep the world going around. 
I got my daughter into "something" 4H wise to keep her out of trouble. Not saying she would of gotten in trouble but hey lets face it kids are kids, and if you can give them something to do it will help to prevent them from doing things that get them in toruble.

If you are paying for everything and taking full care of them, I would tell them that "you don't have to like my goats that is fine, but do NOT expect me to like everything you do". 

Hang in there. keep your head up and you can always just come here becasue as you know we all LOVE goats. lol


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## GotmygoatMTJ

My gosh. Your 19 and your parents still think they can send you to your room? That upsets me so much. I'm 18 and I finally got the guts to tell my dad to knock it off and that I wasn't scared of him. I'm 18, 19 in December.

Your family is very controlling. This isn't about you, not at all. Its about them. They need to get their heads on straight and realize that you are an adult!


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## Tolers Boers

:whatgoat: Whawt? Really? I like my goats better than most people. Do you or they live with you? If not. I wouldn't change squatt! However I am stubborn and a determined realist....sooo...my advice is just what i would do is nothing unless i live with them or something. Since i don't If mine came here and said one bad thing about my goats....I tell them where to stick their tongue. I mean I am stubborn and a determind realist and I did go to college and get a degree in Medical and u know what i had a fine home and i had everything money could buy. Except for two things
the love i get from my goats and cool. U can't buy cool.

Best Wishes. If u need them and or their approval I would just try to bite it and figure out a way to meet in the middle and both sides have to give a little.


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## Mandara Farm

It sounds like you're really coming to a crossroads, a decision point. That's exciting (if you can stand the stress of it... :GAAH: ). You may need to decide what's more important to you right now in your life: your need for independence and the self esteem that can bring, or your need for approval and belonging to a group. These are both very powerful motivations. Whatever you decide, you won't learn less :wink: 

I must admit my bias towards the self esteem choice because it took me way too many years to decide for myself. I finally had the inner resources to one day just say no to my natal family. It caused a huge uproar and things still have not settled, but you know what? I believe it was truly the first REAL act of self esteem in my life. One of the things I learned was that I can stand for myself without necessarily standing against anyone else. There's a big difference. One is making war on others, one is making peace within oneself. Outwardly it may look the same in terms of what actions you decide to take, but the energy of it will be totally different and everyone will feel it.

Personally, I would recommend considering moving out -- maybe someplace nearby where you can still visit? Do you have an older friend who can teach you to drive? And like someone else mentioned, get your goats into their own space that you're renting or borrowing so that you control your own life. This may sound scary because it sounds like it's not what you were brought up to believe, but it seems to me like you're a bit of a contemplative. You might REALLY love living alone and forging your own way in the world with the love, support, and help of friends.

Best of luck in whatever goes down, and keep us posted, ok? :hug:


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## Goat Song

Hi guys, sorry for the silence; I've been looking like this for the past couple of days: :GAAH: :crazy:

Mandara, the thought of living alone doesn't bother me at all. I actually LOVE being solitary rather than being around people. At this point, I am seriously considering moving out; more for the goats than for me. I've been able to tough things out for this long (a total of about 5 years; this last year has been the hardest though), and if I had too, I could tough it out for a little longer, but this is more for the goat's sake. I'm not allowed to use a vet, and if an animal is beyond my help, then they have to be shot. A family rule that I absolutely abhor. My buckling (a future herdsire, too!) was just recently shot, and man that was HARD! A vet could have fixed him up in short time, but I wasn't allowed to go that route. So moving out will really help there, as I will then be able to give my animals the proper care that they need, when they need it. I'll also be able to start getting _quality_ animals too; right now I can only spend $200 on an animal. My parents don't quite get it that top notch animals cost a wee bit more than that!! You should have seen the response I got when I bought my ND.... Whoo boy. A goat the size of a shoe box that wasn't giving any milk, that I just spent $200 on. Heaven help us! :wink: Firelight, that was the best $200 I've spent yet! :laugh:

Anywho, my battle plan right now is to wait until the 22nd of August. I should find out then if I was accepted for the farm internship in Virginia or not. I am hoping soooooo bad that I get accepted! Not only will it be an experience of a lifetime (it's Polyface Farms, for those who care), but it will fit perfectly in the plan. If I DO get accepted, then I'll intern at my cheesemaking friend's farm until June, which is when I would leave for VA. Meanwhile, I'll be saving up a nest egg for the future. I guess I'll try and see if I can somehow bribe my dad into taking me to get my driver's permit as soon as possible, and then work on getting the license just as quickly. Nice thing about being 19 in the state of OR, is that I can get my permit one week, practice like crazy and then turn around and get my license the next week. Insurance however, will be another story. Hmm.

But yeah, things are still really crazy over here....


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## firelight27

If you aren't making payments on the car and it isn't super sporty or new, insurance isn't too bad in terms of cost. Especially if you have an older car.

I'm really pulling for ya! I hope you get the internship! And I'm glad you love Poppet.


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## Goat Song

I certainly don't need a fancy car; it doesn't even have to look nice. A clunker that works well would be fine with me (as long as I can haul hay and goats in it!). 

It did hit home just an hour ago, that this is going to be harder than I think... I was talking with a friend on the phone and casually mentioned interning a Polyface farm. Her response was "Yeah right; as if we did that sort of thing!" :doh: My leaving is going to cause just short of an excommunication amongst the people who I have known almost my whole life. We're not Amish, nor are we Mennonite, but there is an unspoken law that 'girls don't work. They marry and have big families.' I guess there is still a part of me that wants approval.... I keep telling myself that there is always going to be people who approve or don't approve. I just need to stay on track. But then that little piece keeps coming back, and wants approval... :sigh:


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## Amos

I can very well understand that need for approval... But the truth is, Caitlyn, there are over 6 billion human beings on this planet. Even some of the cruelest people have friends and support in their lives. You can be anyone you want to be in this whole wide world, and it's really nobody's business. (As long as you don't hurt anyone, but I know you won't).

My brother has been wanting approval from our dad since a child, but he'll never get that. And honestly that's my dad's loss. (I've never had my dad's approval, but I've never wanted it either, lol) And if you parents don't have it in their heart's to support you either, there are soo many others out there who will. They may not be obvious or known to you, and you might not have even met them yet, but you will. It'll be ok!

I'm glad to hear Polyface finally allows female interns! For a while there they wouldn't allow women to intern for the long-term. Bout time they screwed their heads on straight!


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## Goat Song

There's only room for 2 female interns at Polyface (whereas it's 6 spaces for guys), so my chances are slim! It helps though, that I was homeschooled; Joel gives preference to homeschoolers. Their newest thing though, is that you have to start out just interning for the summer, and then Joel and Daniel will handpick only two people to apprentice for the year. If you stay the year though, you do have the option at the end to stay on as a full time employee (and they pay really good over there). It used to be that you could choose to stay the year or not. It is going to be torture waiting until the 22nd!!


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## Mandara Farm

Oh, I do hope your internship comes through! You really have thought this out and made a plan for yourself, contingent though it is. You're doing great -- hang in there! I'm pulling for you and your goaties! :leap:


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## GotmygoatMTJ

If you go to VA, what about your goats? Will they go with you, or will you sell them and start new? I can't imagine your family will keep them, or feed them. :C


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## Randi

ray: If you move to VA where would you be about? Would you be able to take your herd? If you are not too far you can house them here. I would need you to pay for food and vet bills, but they will be well cared for and you can be with them.


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## Goat Song

Oh Randi!!! That would be a dream come true if that would work!!! :shocked: :hug: I would be in Swoope, VA. No idea what the distance between is between there and you. And of course, I would pay you for feed, hay, board, vet bills, etc. 

Otherwise, I have a few friends here in OR who would be willing to goat sit them for me (providing I pay the above mentioned). There are a few goats that I might be willing to sell to a GOOD home, but the majority are too special to part with. 

ray: Pleeeeeze let me get the internship!!


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## Goat Song

I just received an e-mail from Polyface saying that my application is being considered, but it might be several weeks before they decide who will be picked. Part of me is excited that my application at least got past the first step, but the other part of me is despairing at the thought of all the others who applied to make them extend their date so much. What agony!


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## Goat Song

Randi, I just looked at a map and you are roughly 4 hours from Swoope, VA. onder:


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## luvmyherd

WOW!!!!! This is intense.
I never thought I would hear myself saying that I am glad I am nearly 60. While my parents left the country for the *city life* my mom is facinated with our lifestyle choice and says, "You always were an old fashioned girl."

But I remember when we were in our twenties and the chance came up to buy the place we still own. We went from a nice little house in town to a run down mobile home with a shaky addition. But we had an acre of land and were ecstatic. Our parents thought we were crazy; but being fiercely independent we grew our food and raised free range chickens before they were even called that.
Now it is our kids who look at us a little cock-eyed but the grandkids love to help milk a goat or *pick* eggs. (We do have one of our five who lives here with his family and they do help out and he loves farming.)
What I am saying is, I was the odd woman out in my family and it is okay. Stick to your guns and if one opportuity does not work out; keep trying. (We recently tried to land an internship in Hawaii but the man's wife had just died so he was not offering internships anymore.) That would have been a great couple of months.
Keep your faith.


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## Tolers Boers

Good Luck Sweetie....I pray it will all work out for you. Just find a way to be you an do what u do even if it takes a balancing act.....I have done that balancing act and then turned around and said u know this would be easier if i just consider me and what i want our of my life. In the end, dear, you are the ulitmate captian of your ship and it take u as far as u want to go. unless u let my husband drive lol then u end up lost in tijuana and he wont even ask directions he just insist this is the way or is a short cut.


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## Goat Song

Hehe, what is it with men and asking for directions!? :scratch: :laugh: Gotta' love those shortcuts!

I figure I should probably stay put until I hear from Polyface again, which might be mid-September. But while I'm waiting, I'll go ahead and work on getting my driver's license, and start saving, saving, saving! Not that one can really do much saving when you have a herd of goats that still need to be fed... But something will be figured out! I *had* 5 people signed up for my workshop, but four of them have been really flaky about letting me know if they are actually coming or not. Grrr. That would have been a very welcome bit of income there.


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## toth boer goats

Caitlyn....I am sorry.. you have to deal with all that....  you are wanting to go your own path and there is nothing wrong with that at all..... :hug: 
Just pick the right one and your family will be proud.... 

As for goats...don't they read that in biblical times....the Goat was the main source of food and milk for the people.... they need to respect that... 

Tell them the good points of a goat...not what they see ....with a goat out in the field.... educate them...  

Goats are used to keep fire under control...( fire breaks) where tractors or other machinery cannot get to...they keep the land cleaned up.... and safe..

Goats use to be considered...the low animal on the totem pole ..but now... they have risen up pretty high...in alot of peoples eyes.... :grouphug: 

Goats are getting so popular and if they are useless ...stinky...ect to your family then... why are they actors...in movies and commercials... can your family do that.. :wink: :laugh: 

We all know here... that goats are very special animals...and are loved and seem to give love back.... they are good for our souls.... 


If you make money with the goats...I would flash the cash around and have them ask... where did you get that? Then when you say... it is from the what you call my worthless goats... watch there expression.... :wink: 

Have people that love goats come visit and talk about how neat goats are ..right in front of the family ....the more friends that have your same interest at heart and the family is forced to listen...it may get them a thinkin... Also try to get the family involved with some goatie things..... they may begin to like it....with baby kids.... it is hard for anyone to say bad things about them.......but I do find them saying... "how cute"... :hug: :greengrin: 

Good luck with your Job and all... I am praying ...that it all works out for you....
:hug: ray:


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## firelight27

What confuses me is that they have a mind set that you said isn't like mormons or whatevers, but kind of....where they expect the woman to stay home and raise the family. Doesn't that include cleaning and cooking and doing traditional things? People with that type of mind set are usually all for the "old way" of doing things, and raising your own produce, milk, and meat is usually popular with them....so is canning and jamming, etc. etc.....I don't see how they expect you to not work and not do...anything?


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## Goat Song

It's kind of convoluted... Which only adds to my frustration, really. To be specific, we would be classed as "very conservative Christians". Personally I don't feel like my family is that conservative when I look at others that we know, but that's another story... But yes, women are expected to stay home, do house work, raise the family etc. but we're supposed to leave certain things to the boys only, such as learning to use firearms (we girls can do archery, but not guns), using power tools, building, electric/plumbing work... Things like that. Things that I would LOVE to learn, as I see them as very handy skills, but it is considered "not my place".
My parents aren't interested in the whole 'raising your own food' thing. My dad thinks it's pointless when you can just drive to the store. 

You might say that we're expected to twiddle our thumbs until "Mr. Right" comes along.... :sigh: I asked my sisters a couple weeks ago if they would mind if I left home, and their answer was, "You can't leave! We need you to wash dishes!" Apparently that's all I'm good for.... Holding the babies and washing dishes. :roll: I certainly wouldn't mind being married, and someday that may happen, but I am SO sick and tired of doing nothing!! Why can't a girl do the same things that a guy can do? I'm supposed to be a quiet, submissive, unassuming, young lady who is content to stay home and do nothing until marriage comes, and please forgive me, but I don't like that!!!! :GAAH: What can I say? I'm German and Irish; a good mix for stubbornness! 

Sigh... I just want to test my wings a little.... I'm not after anything huge in life... I just want to try making my own decisions... Without being told that I can't since I'm female....


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## nancy d

Caitlyn I thought you were a whole lot older cause you certainly are pretty wise for your age. Ive always enjoyed your posts.
Coming into personhood is what you are doing. We've all had glitches with our parents, but yours need to be reminded somehow that you ARE an individual. As for the threat to sell your goats, well to be quite honest it is childish of them.
My grown children dont get that their dad & I enjoy being "tied down" here with milking & all the chores. They think we're spose to be living in a condo somewhere or RVing or something. Like we're too old to be physically active. Sheesh!!
No. You need to learn power tools and all the guy stuff. What if Mr Right doesnt know how?


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## Goat Song

If I appear wise, I'm afraid it's only due to trial and error in life, and lots of observation.... But mostly trial and error.... I do thank you for your kind words though. :hug:


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## nancy d

Aww shucks. It's all part of growing up. I had hopes & dreams for my kids but they went & did what they wanted.
Everyones parents need to let go especially their late teen off spring and it's not easy. Especially you being the oldest.
Your sister's reply to needing you to stick around & do the dishes was almost classic comic strip reply...as in "When you move out I get your room."


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## toth boer goats

I like how independent you are.... the way you think about things... is a survival mode....which is a smart way to think.... :wink: 

If our economy gets so bad and the stores close down ect....your family won't have food...but you will and they will be knocking on your door..... :wink:


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## Goat Song

^ Pam, where would TGS be without you? :hug:

Things are still pretty much the same as usual, but I did get a job offer yesterday!! There's a decent sized herb store in town that I've been going to for years, and I also happen to personally know all the ladies who work there. So while getting some things there yesterday, I asked if they were hiring, or might be in the future, and the gal who owns the store said, "Well, we're not hiring right now, but if you ever wanted to come work here, we would be glad to have you!" 

:leap: It really is a great place to work, and I'm happy knowing that if I ever needed a job, I have an opportunity over there. They pay well, and the other employees (there are only 3-4 others) are very friendly and supportive. 

And, I've found a few nice places that I could rent, out in the country, and the prices are really good. One place even offered free rent in exchange for some home-grown meats. 

Now, if I could just get my driver's license!!!


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## toth boer goats

> ^ Pam, where would TGS be without you? :hug:


 Aww....that is so sweet... :hug: :grouphug:

That is great about the job......I'd take them up on it...sounds like something you may enjoy...... :greengrin:



> And, I've found a few nice places that I could rent, out in the country, and the prices are really good. One place even offered free rent in exchange for some home-grown meats.


 Super duper...... sounds like... things are going to turn out good for you.....

Good luck with the Drivers license... study up...and I know you can get it accomplished.... Just by what I am reading about you here on TGS... you are a very bright young lady.....and will be successful in life.... :thumbup: :hug: :thumb:


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## StaceyRosado

Ok I jsut read all through this (somehow I missed it before)

All I can say is I TOTALLY know the kind of family you are growing up in. You are NOT in the minority of girls your age growing up right now.

Im friends with girls and know of others who have had to be cut off from their families for a time or still to this day because they didnt do "the expected" and were being "rebellious" because they are actually wearing for heaven sake PANTS or got a job or moved out at 22 - YES 22! (not that skirt wearing is bad  )

My parents were headed there but oh I thank the Lord so much that they were directed to raise us differently in the past few years. 

Ive had my share if arguing with my mom over the goats and now at 26 I think she realizes she better either kick me out or get use to it  (I told her those exact words back in February).

The weirdest part I see is that you have a place to put the goats but arent allowed --- this follows into the parents need for control. This isnt a God honoring control but a simple human need to control everything. Even if it means hurting others. They dont mean to but its just how it plays out. They say its because you are to live under their God given authority and they are the only ones who can know whats best for you. But in all plain honestly -- they dont! 

I mean no disrespect to your parents personally but this kind of behavior is turning many people from Christianty and its sad. Thats not how we were intended to live. As an adult child living with my parents I do give them respect and honor them BUT I am still responsible directly to God myself and I listen to Him for His direction in my personal life. How I go about it is up to me and not my parents. They totally didnt agree with my job changes back in June but thankfully didnt say it to my face (though I heard the whispers) once things actually started to pan out really well they came to me and said "we are proud of you, we didnt think you were making wise choices but we see now that you really knew what you were doing and did make the right choice" I am blessed to have those kinds of parents.


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## Burns Branch Boers

GoatSong--I have not read all of these posts yet-only 1/2 so far but.....

Wow! I never realized from your "maturity" in your writing that you were younger! I pictured you as married with children of your own. You should be VERY proud of yourself!! 

I don't know what age you are but any younger girl with the maturity you seem to have is a beautiful thing! I am a Mother of an 11 year old daughter whom is so beautifuly independent and smart (my gosh, smart) I just watch the things she does and I beam with love and pride for her.

See.....

I have a wonderful husband and children of my own now but my life when I was a teenager :tears: Gosh! It was terrible. My mother and my step dad gave me a roof over my head and food but everything was "theirs" the house was theirs, the rules were theirs, they told me the clothes I had on my back belonged to them. I worked in high school, but I had to give most of my $$ to them. I was a good kid to-I worked and only wanted to escape the boredom of their rules by spending time with my friends (whom did not do drugs or anything like that) and they would take that way from me too-ground me for months at a time. They had a "daugther" but honestly I was a burden to them-they loved me in a text book manner. 

However-that being said. I kept my mouth shut and counted the days till I was off to college. Life opened up and when I could live my days the way I wished I saw that life was wonderful! Growing up the way I did (although I would NEVER do that to my children) made me a "strong as nails" woman that truely understands the loving family I have made for myself these days (goats included!)

You hang tough! If you can talk to them and they will listen they try...but if the household was like mine it would be just as if you were talking to a wall. I am so sorry you are experiencing this---honestly to make you feel bad for having to ask them to drive you to get grain or food for an animal such as a goat (or any animal for that matter!!) I am so sorry but I can tell you---your life will bloom and blossum as you wish-just hang in there until it is time!


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## luvmyherd

>>>>>"we are proud of you, we didnt think you were making wise choices but we see now that you really knew what you were doing and did make the right choice" I am blessed to have those kinds of parents.<<<<<<
You certainly are blessed.

My husband came from one of those *Christian* homes. I remember being so shocked dating a 20yo man with a curfew! I got him out of there as fast as I could. I was never able to develop a relationship (we do have a peaceful coexistence now) with my inlaws.
It is really hard when you want a mature adult relationship and it just isn't an option. My mom often reminds me of the Mother's Day card I sent her once thanking her for treating my like a grown-up. Yes, I was blessed with a wonderful family. They still think I am weird; but they do not hold it against me.
It sounds like you are taking steps toward being an independent young woman. I wish you all the luck in the world.


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## toth boer goats

TGS....has been such an inspirational place... for someone that needs a shoulder...to lean on...and for the world to come together and share...their beautiful thoughts...with one another... is so special.....

I have to say... that I have never seen ....such a wonderful place... of the best people on earth... never lose who you are... :grouphug: ....God bless all..... ray: :grouphug:


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## mrs. lam

I just Un-friended my half sister from Facebook and told her to never call or conntact me again. There is something to be said about being an only child. :greengrin: Mom is having to do the same thing with her. We both told her we are done with all the mind games and drama. I think she's missing some dna somewhere down the line.

Some of my best family members are not by blood. :hug: They seem to be the best.

Hang tight. One day you will be out on your own. Your own rules. Then you can Un-friend their butts!

Gina


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## Goat Song

Thanks guys! :grouphug: I wish I could write more, but I'm afraid I have bad news.... My parents have decided to ground me from the computer for awhile, and are confiscating all computers this afternoon. I think they're hoping that if I don't have access to TGS, I might become more willing to get rid of the goats. They've also picked up a few more threats on the way.  

You have all been enormously kind, and I thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. You guys are my family. :grouphug: 

Until next time....


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## toth boer goats

Oh no...that is very unfair of your family to do that...  

I am so sorry and you will be missed..... I pray... that I will see you here again... May God bless and give to you... what is best "For You" :hug: :grouphug:


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## Randi

It's a start. PM me if you decide, ay?


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## milkmaid

Caitlyn, I just now read through this thread and I am SO sorry I was too late! When you get back on here and read this, know that I am praying for you very often. That is a hard situation to be in.

I, also, am the second oldest of a big family, and my siblings used to tease me up the wall about the goats, but after I was in tears several times, my parents told them to stop. They still tease me a little, but much more kindly. I have now learned to make fun of myself too, and our relationships are healed.

We ALL need to yield a little in order to live together. If someone doesn't, the whole family explodes. You may want to tell your family that!

Life is hard, but go where God leads you, and He will never let you go! :hug: Remember this: *No matter what you decide to do, don't stop loving your family - however tough it gets. Nobody EVER gains anything by hating. I am sure of this.* :hug: 
Everybody else on here who has an audience with God, please pray with me! We'll storm the enemy's ranks with a legion of angels!


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## StaceyRosado

milkmaid said:


> Life is hard, but go where God leads you, and He will never let you go! :hug: Remember this: *No matter what you decide to do, don't stop loving your family - however tough it gets. Nobody EVER gains anything by hating. I am sure of this.* :hug:
> Everybody else on here who has an audience with God, please pray with me! We'll storm the enemy's ranks with a legion of angels![/quote
> 
> I agree ray:


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## luvmyherd

I am so upset to hear this news. I am posting in the hopes that you may be able to visit a friend or a public library and check in. I really feel for your parents as they are driving a wedge that may never heal.
My in-laws did everything in their power to keep my husband and me apart. When just telling him no didn't work they *grounded* him from the car. At 20! They did not know me very well; we walked, caught busses and rode his motorcycle until my parents sold us a car. But I feel sad that his mother alientated us so. It affected everyone; including the grandchildren.
I hope they learn to respect you as an adult.
Take care. :hug:


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## Mandara Farm

Keep your chin up, Goat Song. You're a great young woman and you're so connected to your heart and your journey, I just know you'll persevere and be the stronger for it.

Godspeed, and we'll be here when you get back! :hug:


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## Goat Song

Hi everyone!! Wow, what sweet notes you guys left in my absence! Thank you! I'm still "grounded" from coming here for the most part, so I don't know how often, or when I will get to be here, but I am here for the moment at least! I managed to make a deal with my mom for today; she wanted me to find her a used Kitchen Aid mixer on Craigslist (because I seem to have a knack when it comes to haggling for things), and I told her I would do it, if I could go to TGS. She wasn't thrilled with my parlay, but agreed to let me visit here.

I thought I was going to be moving out this upcoming week, but my cheesemaking friends just called yesterday to say that some things have come up for them, and they needed to cancel the internship plans. I'm looking at a couple other places that I might could stay at, but it would sure be handy if I knew how to drive! :hair:

Mom and I had an impressive "talk" (we'll be conservative and call it that...) yesterday, and I sincerely tried to explain to her what I have explained to y'all here. We didn't get very far. My mom got defensive and said that they have done nothing but encourage and support me in the past few years, by driving me to get stuff and allowing me to keep the goats this long. I told her that while yes, they've driven me places and whatnot, they have never _verbally_ encouraged me, and I have always gotten the impression that they were very unhappy to be helping me. 
We ended the discussion on the wrong note unfortunately; I'll say no more than that. :sigh:


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## StaceyRosado

glad you could come and see all the encouragement and love you have here.

I dont understand your family and don't think I ever will but hopefully you can find a place to move to and work on restoring a relationship with them. 

im not one for entitlements but you do deserve to be able to be happy. God doesnt want use to be suffering needlessly. He gave you a passion and I believe in pursuing that passion with all your heart


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## Mini Goat Lover

My family is praying for you. ray:


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## toth boer goats

I am so glad.. to see you pop in.. :hug: ...we are all concerned about you and only wish for you the best in life....which you are sure trying to achieve....I know the Lord is on your side....as we are too....hang in there ....and drop in when you can... :hug: ray:


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## Randi

ray: You know you always have all my prayers. I hope your goatie improves. I pray that you and the goaties never part, but I also pray that some day you and your family join together. ray:


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## Willow

Thank-you for returning to us. I've been worried about you since your last post. Good for you for trying to talk with your mother and explaining what you need. Don't give up. I can hear through your words how much you love and care about your family. Keep trying but understand that they will probably be defensive. They most likely need reassurance as much as you. They dont want to lose you but I believe they need to let you go ...so you can have a good relationship with them. I had to learn this...that I could not keep my sons close with force...I had to let them go to be themselves and we have a very close relationship even tho they both live in different states from me. 
I told my husband about this thread and his immediate response was " Invite her to come live with us...with her goats." He's so sweet and generous..and his offer holds if its what you need. [He's 81, I'm 59...we have room --hearts and space]


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## milkmaid

Glad to see you back for a visit! Still praying that everything will work out, and that your relationships are healed.


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## luvmyherd

Glad you got the chance to post. We will be here whenever you can get on. I hope things improve for you.


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## Goat Song

Hi all,  I haven't done any updates on this thread because -- well, there really hasn't been anything to update about! I'm still sitting tight at home, waiting to hear from Polyface, which should _hopefully_ be by the end of this week. Still no driver's permit or license, but I do have a friend (who is older than me by a good bit) who has offered to take me to get that done, and teach me the ropes of driving. I haven't taken her up on it yet, as I feel kind of bad doing it... She lives over an hour away from me, and I hate to ask her to make such a long drive for my sake.

I am making some headway though! I joined a website called WWOOF, which is basically just a list of farms across the USA that will allow people to intern at their place and learn their skills, so I've gotten a good list of some places where I could go (and be safe at), and I have some friends who I can hitchhike with (with the goats!) to get to my destination. My thought here is to get as much knowledge/experience as possible before settling down on my own farm, so as to try and cut down on mistakes.... I'm hoping to stick around here in OR until next summer, since I still have some family obligations (my brother's wedding for example), and I can hopefully get a vehicle of my own by then.

I have a question for y'all though, which is why I resurfaced this thread. My parents still don't know my plans of moving out, and I am not sure how to break the news to them. How do you think I should go about doing that? :shrug: I can't even count how many times over the past couple of weeks I have almost spit out, _"You won't have to put up with it much longer, because I'm moving out soon!"_ :roll: It would certainly be easier to break the news when they're already mad at me, but I really would prefer to keep things at a more mature level... I think I keep on putting this off because, One, I am dreading the scene that will most likely result.... I hate arguments. And two, I'm terrible when it comes to explaining myself. Maybe I should write them a note? What do you think?


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## StaceyRosado

Personally I wouldn't say anything unless you have a placed lined up. Just in case they actually kick you out OR it makes things worse. Then you are arguing with them for a year. Sometimes its easier to just do and then ask forgiveness later.


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## luvmyherd

I hope that you can have a good heart-to-heart. I know it is hard but I would be devistated if one of my kids just left. No matter how difficult it is for you; I am sure they love you and will miss you.
Please do not lose it and yell at them. (Of course I am just talking, you will do what you do.) Writing down what you want to say is an excellent idea but do not give them the note. You really, really, really, really, really should talk to them. But having your thoughts written down will help you say the right things. 
My husband, who I have said before had a very similar situation to yours; did just move out leaving a note. At the time we felt it was all we could do. But after raising our own brood I feel very guilty for hurting them like that.
Finding farms to intern at sounds like such a great idea. The right opportunity is sure to come the way of an intelligent, industrious young lady such as yourself. :wave:


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## Goat Song

Thank you guys for the input, I greatly appreciate it!

Stacey, that's another reason why I haven't told them yet; I don't have all the logistics completely ironed out about my first "stop" yet. I really need to hear back from Polyface before I can get things moving in earnest.

Luvmyherd, what if the note was given a couple weeks in advance before I left? I would never leave a note and then just disappear; my thought was to write my plans out and ask them to please read it, and then we could talk. Or should I just stick to talking, like you said?


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## firelight27

I would also wait until you have a definite plan made and everything is worked out and ready to go. By the sound of your parents, it is quite possible they will not understand one bit, no matter what you say, and it will just make the remainder of your time there miserable and tense. I would personally wait until about a month before you leave and let them know exactly what is going to happen. Tell them what you are doing, don't let them bully you into changing your mind, and let them know you love them and their support would mean a great deal to you.


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## toth boer goats

I agree....great advice given...sorry you are having family issues... :hug:


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## StaceyRosado

I wasnt saying to not tell them before you leave -- but something along the lines of what firelight said about explaining what you will be doing and giving notice. WHen I said 'ask forgiveness' Im referring to you not trying to get their approval before you make any decisions because at this point they probably wont give it


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## freedomstarfarm

Yes get things all lined up before saying anything. You don't want a situation where you have no place to stay. 
:hug: Hopefully things get in line soon and you days can be brighter.


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## luvmyherd

Goat Song said:


> my thought was to write my plans out and ask them to please read it, and then we could talk. Or should I just stick to talking, like you said?


Of course this will depend on so many things. You know your family and how they are likely to react. And you know your own personality. If you absolutely cannot face them and just start talking; the note beforehand sounds like a good alternative. I really hope they can learn to accept you as I know how hard it is to be alienated from ones family.
I wish you only the best in your endeavors. :hug:


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## PznIvyFarm

Didn't you say something about they threatened to sell your goats?

If so, you may want to get your goats out of the house and THEN tell your family. It is really hard to 'run away from home' with a bunch of pets in tow (i tried to do that when i was 9 or 10, i made it about 3 houses away before i gave up lol) Yes, that wasn't serious running away, but still, you don't want to be in a situation where you leave the house for whatever reason and come back to find your goats all gone. Don't know how vindictive your family is, but barring you from computer, TGS, and 'those people' gives me a slight clue. But as a mom I agree with those who said you shouldn't just leave with no notice - unless you feel that it is the safest thing for you.


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## Mandara Farm

Hi Goat Song! I agree with everyone else -- set yourself and your goats up with an alternative place first, then have the big moving out talk. 

I'm surprised to hear you say you're terrible at explaining yourself. You make perfect sense to me and are very clear and articulate. I suppose it can be nerve wracking in a more confrontational setting, but you might want to consider the possibility that it's not your communication skills that are lacking, it may just be that your family doesn't have ears to hear you. :sigh: 

Good luck with everything, and I do hope you'll take your friend up on the driving lessons. 

:hug:


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## StaceyRosado

Mandara Farm said:


> Good luck with everything, and I do hope you'll take your friend up on the driving lessons.
> 
> :hug:


Ditto ^^^

if a friend offered then that means they want to help! dont push people away when they want to help


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## PznIvyFarm

Goat Song, how are things going?


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## KentuckyGirl

I just read through all this, and I'm so sorry to hear about what you're family is doing to you. Family shouldn't act like that. You and your goaties are in my prayers.

If you're ever in the Kentucky area you have a place to stay, and a ride to get where you need. :hug:


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## Goat Song

^Aww, thank you! :hug:

PznIvyFarm, things are--- Crazy. Really crazy. :roll: I think my parents were starting to get suspicious about my plans, and out of the blue offered to put me through vet school, like I always dreamed of doing. That stopped me dead in my tracks, to hear such an offer come from them! It wouldn't be anything huge, just an online course to get a degree as a vet tech, but I was all for it! That was back in September though... We had a row (or "debate") together, since if I was going to spend the next 4 years studying my head off for this, I wanted to be able to _work_ at a clinic. Mom and dad said 'no' to that. If I took them up on the offer, it would be just for the education; not to have a career. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with spending 23k, and four years of work, and then NOT be able to use the degree? :scratch: Anyway, we haven't really talked about it for awhile... It seems like something came up, and I wouldn't be able to get financial aid anyway. Grrr. So close, yet so far! I'll probably broach the subject again soon.

I really think something is going to erupt when I tell them (or when they read the e-mail!), about the internship... But, I'm going to try to not be such a doormat this time! I've already got the money for the plane tickets, as well as money to have the goats hauled with me, so I guess they can either be proud that I was one of the chosen applicants, or they can get reconcile themselves to the fact that their little girl isn't so little anymore.

So yeah... Not too much has been going on other than those things... It's been a bit of a stalemate... I'm willing to compromise with them, if they're willing, but we'll see...

Thank you for asking! I can't even begin to tell you all just how much I appreciate all of this! I have this entire thread printed out, so I can look back and re-read everyone's sweet, encouraging comments! :grouphug: You guys are AWESOME!! Shucks, I wish I was rich so I could give each and every one of you a gift.  (everyone would get their dream goat, right? :greengrin: )


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## firelight27

So does that mean you were indeed chosen? Thats great!


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## logansmommy7

If they are like mine, the like them one day and dislike the next-it is all about being critical family, as some think is their place. You just have to rise above it, and you will be JUST fine! Good luck!


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## Goat Song

^Aye. It's quite convoluted. :crazy:

I broke the news to mom, and she actually took it pretty well. I could see she was hesitant about letting me do such a thing, but I made sure to emphasize that this was an opportunity of a life time, and I was after all, one of the picks out of a group of 93. I think that impressed her. Her answer though, was to talk to dad about it. [gulp] I'll have to broach that this evening....


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## Frosty1

Good luck! I hope that all goes well for you... :hug:


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## Willow

You are a strong creative, ambitious and capable young woman! Most parents would be so proud and encourage you to get out there to conquer the world! I'm sure your parents are proud of you The offer of vet tech school was great, except for the unreasonable condition that you dont use the degree. You've set your sights high and you are determined to reach your great potential. I pray that you wont let those who love you hold you back. My son wrote me a beautiful letter this summer. He had just earned his PhD and was moving across the country to a teaching position at U of Puget Sound. He told me that he was moving because of me....and he knows how hard it is for me to "let" him go. He said he could leave because I always encouraged him to aim high and be the best he could be. He thanked me for encouraging him and letting him know that love was generous, not demanding and that distance was only miles and that nothing could ever come between our love for each other. And he knew that I would find a way to visit. Well, I saved up and bought a plane ticket ...and I'm flying from NH to Tacoma at the end of the month. I hope that you can let your parents see that your growth and living your dreams will not diminish yoiur love or closeness. And that miles are only miles.
:hug:


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## PznIvyFarm

[quote="Goat Song It seems like something came up, and I wouldn't be able to get financial aid anyway. [/quote]

You could if you were independent from your parents.........................


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## freedomstarfarm

Glad that your mom took it ok. It must feel good to be able to get not just the internship but let your parent soon to be parents know.


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## sheann

I am so sorry you are having these issues with your family. I applaude you for your down to earth ways, sounds like you are very level headed and you know what you want. Go for it, what's the worse thing that could happen, 30 years later you'd be kickin yourself in the behind for not following your dreams. I'm a mother of 3 girls and each and everyone has their own personal interests and I wouldn't have it any other way.


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## Hickoryneck

Wow I feel for you and hope it all works out

I too left home on very bad terms. My parents were very supportive of the livestock we raised as kids I had dairy,meat and mini goats, poultry, rabbits, pigs etc it was a real zoo they bought all the feed and took us to shows we were home schooled and life was good then I got older and nature kick in and I started dating we fell in love and I got pregnant while I still lived at home it was a nightmare they flipped out they wanted me to go to college or get a job similar to your internship but I never wanted those things my goals in life were to be a stay at home mom with a hobby farm. I didn't get pregnant on purpose it was an accident they gave me a list of what I was going to do and were determined to control my relationship so I walked outside and never came back we left and life was hell for quite some time( I am leaving out lots of details) I had to sell my goats that my sister didn't want, my boyfriend offered to rent a place for them but I knew it was best for me and the goats if I sold them. We got married and rented a house I had my beautiful daughter and slowly mended things with my family now I have everything I ever wanted I am a stay at home mom of 2 and my husband & I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next month I have my hobby farm with goats and my parents and I are just as close as ever. 

It will all work out in the end the way it is supposed to so just have faith and never stop loving your parents no matter how bad things get you are a good person and deserve to be happy so you owe it to yourself to go out in the world on your own. I wish you the best of luck and hope your dreams come true :angelgoat:


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## milkmaid

A hug for you, Caitlyn! :hug: 
And another one for you, Sarah of Hickoryneck! :hug:


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## Goat Song

Hi Milkmaid! :wave: :hug: 

Welcome Hickoryneck! I don't believe I have had the pleasure of "meeting" you yet...

Well guys, it happened. The bomb went off last night, when I told my dad. I cringe thinking back to it... In short, my dad absolutely does not want me to do this. Mom sided with him after hearing his answer, and we debated for about 2 hours on the matter. They kept reminding me that doing something like that isn't my place, that I need to stay home and help with the younger siblings, that there's no need for me to learn something like that since I'm not allowed an occupation, etc. etc. etc. ... I got laughed at, humiliated, and received a tongue lashing.  

This is getting ridiculous... I feel like I'm back in the Victorian era, as my parents firmly tell me that marriage is the only way out. 

My sense of humor did get the best of me at one point though... Dad said I couldn't be considered an adult, since I don't have a driver's license. But I can't get my driver's license, because that involves paying insurance. And I can't pay insurance because I don't have a job. And I'm not allowed to have a job!! I think it was the fact that is was almost midnight, and I was beyond tired. So I started laughing my head off as I got in bed, just thinking back to that. I guess I'll never be an adult? Who da' thunk a vehicle could be the turning point into adulthood!?!? 

But, I stood my ground enough to make mom and dad consider the internship. I wouldn't let them say 'no'. And while I'm not all together sure I need/want their blessing in this decision, I would at least like a home to come back too at the end of the internship!!

Anyway, lots to think about....


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## StaceyRosado

stick to your guns -- you want this, you NEED this and if its God's direction in your life He wont leave you without a home.


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## GotmygoatMTJ

I agree with Stacey!

I don't have much to say....mainly because what I have to say isnt too friendly for the forum. I'm just not happy with the situation you are in. It angers me that there are still people out there that think the only place for a woman is in the kitchen. :GAAH:


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## freedomstarfarm

Stick to your goals! I am sure it will somehow work out.


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## Willow

Yikes. Sorry it is so hard now. But you know what you need to do to follow your heart and dreams...and to be chosen over so many for this...God is opening doors for you! I pray for you to have the courage to walk through. ray: :hug:


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## logansmommy7

I say stay strong-you will be better for it in the end. Follow your dreams, because in the end, that is what matters, and your family will see that strength and courage and respect you for it in the long run. They probably just don't want you to 'leave the nest' so to speak! Good luck, and hope it all continues to go well for you~


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## Mandara Farm

I agree with Stacey -- if this is your true path, you will be provided for. It may not be an easy road, but it will be a true one. Stay strong and good luck with your move :hug:


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## .:Linz:.

Goat Song said:


> My sense of humor did get the best of me at one point though... Dad said I couldn't be considered an adult, since I don't have a driver's license. But I can't get my driver's license, because that involves paying insurance. And I can't pay insurance because I don't have a job. And I'm not allowed to have a job!! I think it was the fact that is was almost midnight, and I was beyond tired. So I started laughing my head off as I got in bed, just thinking back to that. I guess I'll never be an adult? Who da' thunk a vehicle could be the turning point into adulthood!?!?


I remember being the same quandry - well almost. My parents didn't have a problem with me getting a job per se, they just didn't want me to get just any job. But it is a frustrating place to be! I hope that everything works out for you... if I may ask... do the names Michael Pearl, Doug Phillips, Bill Gothard, etc. mean anything to you?


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## Goat Song

^Um, yeah, I recognize all of those names. May I ask why you ask?


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## Graffogefarms

I'm with you. One of the reasons we are moving back to the US. and since I made the decision - we are all happy. hubby is fine with the goats, and the 2 legged kids, goats are my therapy, but the local area, etc - no support. They don't want to know. My mother and younger brother have cut us out. There was a field surrounding the house here - and my younger brother kicked up a fuss, even though he has everything else. and the field sits un-used. So don't even think about it - I choose my goats and the milk instead of having to keep pop pills. Worldwide - goats keep more people alive and fed, than any other animal, yet receive the least respect.

They need to cut the snobbery.


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## StaceyRosado

.:Linz:. said:


> if I may ask... do the names Michael Pearl, Doug Phillips, Bill Gothard, etc. mean anything to you?


cringes - so thankful my parents didnt go "that route" we almost did!!!

here is just an idea of the "movement" Doug Phillips has started with vision forum

basically gives a snopsis of what you are dealing with right now. Its a must read if anyone wants to understand GoatSongs situation.

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2010/11/23/ ... #more-4929


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## Goat Song

Yup. You are bang on the dot with that link, Stacey... :sigh:


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## StaceyRosado

And for that Im very sorry for your situation - kind of wish I was wrong.

But I know personally two girls who "got out" and one lives with my sister and the other lived with a couple friends for a while and was married two years ago. Im talking about girls in their 20s being told they cant leave and being told they are sinning if they do. But these girls have wonderful lives now. The one married girl has a beautiful daughter now too. They are following the Lord and still love their families and siblings. 

I personally still live at home but I am not being forced to in any sense of the word. Im here of my own choice and whatever I do its my decision. I dont mind cleaning the house, making dinner, taking my brother to and from work etc - helping out the family is something I do enjoy. I was taught to respect and honor my parents, to love my siblings and to treat them right. I was raised to honor the Lord with my actions and to seek Him first. To become a Godly young lady. My parents have said from the time we are kids "we are raising you to be adults" they dont want use to be totally dependent on them. My mom is actually going to college for the first time because we have had family friends husbands die and leaving the wives to take on the provider role. My dad believes that my mom should choose what she loves and pursue that. So she is going ot college for art. And hopefully we never loose my father but if we do she will have a skill she can use to provide for herself and any of my siblings still at home. My mom chose to homeschool us and be a "homemaker" she is great at it but now is her time to do something for herself and Im so glad my dad is so supportive.  

All that to say: you can have a balance of "roles" as well as honor God and parents even if you do have a drivers license or a job. 

at 19 if you dad isnt allowing you to do the things a normal adult can then its time to move out its time to take your life into your own hands and execute your american right to be free to do as you feel God is leading you. You dont need to have a husband or a father telling you what you can and cant do. Thats Gods job.


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## Mandara Farm

>>>You dont need to have a husband or a father telling you what you can and cant do. Thats Gods job.

Spot on, Stacey. Hang in there, Goat Song. When do you leave for your internship?


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## Goat Song

Mandara Farm said:


> Hang in there, Goat Song. When do you leave for your internship?


That's the hard part. I don't leave until next June!! :GAAH: Things have taken an interesting twist though,this past week, as my grandpa (on my mom's side) has been really pushing my parents to let me come and stay with him and my grandma for awhile. They live in MS (just below Memphis in TN), and my grandpa is a farmer. He was tickled to death when he heard that I was going to VA to be what he calls "a real deal farmer", but wants me to come and live with them before going to Polyface. I've been mulling over his offer lately, as it's a pretty good scheme. I love my grandpa. Where my parents have slacked, he has always been there for me. He has supported everything I've ever done, and is always really encouraging. And of course, he's sweetening the deal by offering me his horse (a lovely palomino gelding!) to train and keep (he's ride-able, but needs some fine tuning). Naturally, my parents are saying 'no' to the offer, but if I told my grandpa I wanted to come, he would settle the matter with mom and dad. He has a natural ability to cow everyone around him except grandma and me (he says he likes us too much. LOL).

But it's that final jump that's so HARD! It's like when you're on the edge of a diving board; you can see that everyone who has gone before is having a grand time, and you know it will be fun once you jump, but making that final jump off that diving board can be hard! I find myself doubting my plans, and second guessing myself...

Stacey, you speak a lot of wisdom. :hug: Balance is everything in life. But since our entire church is of this exact same view, I don't think there's much hope for change in my family...


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## StaceyRosado

Wow then you would be closer to the internship place! Can you bring your goats to grandpas? I will be praying you have the courage to jump. Its a big deal but wow what an opportunity and I know you will be happier for it. 

You are so smart - don't allow your parents and everyone around you hold you back from all the potential you have. God gave this to you just remember that


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## liz

Sometimes when you know a decision is right for you, it's intimidating to take that first step forward.....be brave and know that there are those that love and care enough about you that will be there when you do.


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## Mandara Farm

Follow your heart and though the leap may by scary, you'll find the water warm and safe :wink: I know you've got the courage to jump -- wasn't it just this summer you taught a class for the first time? And didn't you already go through a tough inquiry and waiting period from this farm? And have you not already survived a relatively explosive family situation? It seems to me you've already made significant "jumps" and have lots of experience to draw from. 
:hug:


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## luvmyherd

Take the plunge sweetie!!!!!! My husband (who lived through much the same situation as you) and I are rooting for you. You will find the strength when you are entirely ready. Good luck.


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## Willow

How does it feel..in your gut...when you think of going to stay with your Grandparents? Ok. Now how does it feel...in your gut...when you picture yourself staying in your current situation? I think that God speaks to us through our "gut reactions". The feeling ..at your gut...is your true feeling.
It is different from guilt and fear..those feelings grasp you by the throat and make it feel difficult to breathe. THe feelings that feel true and right are those to listen to. Ask God, who knows your heart, for help. Ask Him to carry you through this. Ask Him to take care of you and take you by the hand. Ask Him to take care of your parents and family for you. 
Breathe, smile, look up at the big beautiful sky . Breathe. Follow your gut.


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## lissablack

Go for it, Caitlyn, you are really fortunate to have your grandparents with you and able to take you in, and I suspect you might be able to be a lot of help to them. It would be even better if you could take your goats. Seems like a really good way to transition, your parents will know that you are safe, and it will get you a step away from being emotionally dependent on them. They will get used to not commanding complete obedience from you. But it will be less sudden for all of you.

Jan


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## .:Linz:.

GoatSong, I asked because I was reading between the lines and thought that your dad sounded very much like a follower of those men.

Stacy, it sounds like we've had a similar upbringing. Currently I am a "stay at home daughter" in the sense that I still live at home with my family, but I do have a part time job at a before/after school program and am very happy with the amount of work vs. home time... I live here by choice and by choice I hope to be a SAHW/M someday. All the other standards and values I have are personal beliefs, not just because my church or parents advocate them, and *Caitlyn*, my one piece of advice to you would be to find that balance in your life and make sure that you know what you believe and why.  I'll be praying for you for wisdom to make all of your decisions. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk - I don't want to turn your thread into something else but I think we have a lot in common.  I will be away from tomorrow until Sunday, I'll still have internet access but it'll be limited.


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## Ebony Queen

I completly get what your going through, my family HATES my goats, especially my grandmother, she not all the way onboard, but really, it doesn't matter. She kept lecturing us on the inimportance of goats and the importance of money. Anyways, we said "Whatevs! Thats right! I'm a teenager again! Guess what, we are KEEPING our goats AND we are moving to SEQUIM!" so, i wouldn't DUMP your family, but I definitly wouldn't keep it to myself, tell them exactly what they are doing that is making you feel bad/wierd, then tell them exactly what your going to do with YOUR life! Really, I would be screaming right now, so why not scream at them? :GAAH: :hair: :veryangry: I know this is really a stinker, but it always gets better :hug:


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## Goat Song

Alright guys, I took the first step! I called my grandparents this morning and asked them if I could stay with them from January to June. They were both ecstatic with the idea, and said I was welcome to bring my goats along, if I could afford to have them hauled. 

And you know something? I feel really good right now. At peace about this decision... My grandparents aren't of the same religious views as my parents, and they don't agree with how my parents are raising us, so things will be easier there. 

I figured January would be the best time, since 1) I will already be in VA at that time, so I can just catch a plane down to MS. 2) It will give me time to start madly saving up money to have the goats hauled! It's going to be pricey, but leaving them here is a last resort. And 3) It will give my parents time to get used to the fact that I'm leaving. I still don't know how I'm going to tell them (although my grandpa kept saying that he would LOVE to tell them that I'm leaving :roll: ), so I guess I need to be thinking about how to do that. My older brother just recently left home, for pretty much the same reasons as me. But once mom and dad got over being mad, and realized that he was leaving whether they liked it or not, they actually became very helpful and excited for him. I'm not expecting the same outcome that he got, seeing as I'm a girl and I'm breaking some strict rules here, but I will at least have my grandpa to defend me if I need it. He's a bear of a man, and still only in his early 50's. LOL. 

I probably wouldn't have gotten this far without y'all's encouragement; THANK YOU!!! :grouphug: :grouphug:  :hug:


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## KentuckyGirl

That's great! I'm so glad you're going to live with your grandparents, and that your goaties get to go along too! I've been praying, and will keep praying for you, Caitlyn! :hug:


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## luvmyherd

That is a great start goatsong. 
Just last month my mom was visiting from Arkansas. Though she calls me *old-fashioned* she is facinated by our lifestyle. She was so excited to watch me milk my goats and separate cream and even helped me churn butter. I told her I could live like this or find a job and spend all of my time working for a paycheck so other people could do the work for me. I enjoy doing it myself. She was like, wow, I never thought of that.

While she was here we had a birthday party and my mother-in-law was here too. My mother said to her, "Can you believe the way they live?" My MIL answered in a very disgusted voice, "NO, I DON'T!!!!" It was obvious by the tone in her voice that she does not approve. I would go so far as to say she is ashamed that we are so backwoods. I know she still blames me for her son not getting a high paying desk job.
(This is the woman that when I showed up for Thanksgiving dinner with fresh cream for whipping snapped, "I HAVE Coolwip!!!!" or when she found us looking for a pot to steam vegetables in said, "I have a microwave steamer." There is no way to describe the look on her face when I told her I do not microwave my fresh vegetables.
Hopefully you and your family will be able to come to terms with your decisions and have a good, adult relationship. Your grandpa sounds like my kind of guy!!!!!!


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## StaceyRosado

luvmyherd said:


> Hopefully you and your family will be able to come to terms with your decisions and have a good, adult relationship. Your grandpa sounds like my kind of guy!!!!!!


Couldnt have said it better :thumb:


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## Willow

Wonderful! What a great transition! I love your Grandparents for being there for you. Be strong as you tell your family. Keep that good feeling! :leap:  :hug:


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## milkmaid

That's great! :hug: It's an answer to prayer!


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## ettasmama

Good luck to you! I feel that many people who choose to live the way many goat keepers do are actually transcending the mainstream culture. It makes other people uncomfortable because they feel guilt or they just don't understand it. Can we help it that we are more evolved to value our days, our lives, our health and happiness more than money and materialism?  Best of luck to you!

I read more of the entries here and wanted to add. I have a friend that "escaped" from the Quiverful movement. I am so glad you have the support of your Grandpa. That is a wonderful gift. I hope you are able to move on with your life but not have to cut ties with your past.


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## Goat Song

Question for y'all... Should I let my parents read this thread? Mom heard about my plans of staying with my grandparents and wasn't happy, to say the least. And while I tried to explain to her, what I have explained here, I couldn't do it. I'm just such a bad talker. Writing is always much easier for me. Do you think I should let them read all of this, so maybe they would understand? It may backfire and things may get worse, but do you think I should take the chance?? :shrug:


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## StaceyRosado

No I wouldnt -- the fact that you talked to total strangers about this and some of the not so nice comments directed at your parents form of child raising would only make things worse.

Write down all your thoughts and then tell them that its easier for you to write down what you want to say in a complete thought. THen offer a time of discussion after they have read it or you have read it to them. 

I was and still am a much better writer of my thoughts so Ive done this before with my parents.


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## luvmyherd

I agree with Stacey. Them reading this on a public forum could be disasterous. But writing down how you feel may be a good middle ground. In my husband's case it was so bad that he eventually did have to just go and left a note on his pillow. There was no reasoning with them and still is not to this day. I hope you have better luck.


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## Mandara Farm

Hi Goat Song! Oh, I'm so glad you have an adult family member (and a male one at that) to stand by you! In your family's scheme of things, that will probably count for quite a lot, and it's a grandparent to boot. What a great option to go and live with them for a time before your internship! I'm so happy for you and your goaties! January's only weeks away -- ok, eight or nine weeks away, but still :greengrin: 

I wouldn't show your mom the thread. I once had a friend who wrote her dad letters because it was the only way she could communicate with him -- i dont even think they'd be in the same room when he read them, but it helped her to say what she needed to say to him. You may want to write your thoughts down first so they're organized in your mind and then bring them with you when you talk to your mom if you feel you need them. OTOH, and on a more personal note, I will share that there was a time when I did that with my mom. I was half dead in a hospital at the time from an illness, and I felt certain that if I died, my natal family would finally be happy. They just seemed to hate me so much it seemed the easiest and kindest way out for all of us. Jeez, talk about your majorly dysfunctional family. When I was in the hospital, I was on a respirator and could not speak, so I wrote things out, and one time I wrote out how I felt about what was happening in our family and I showed it to my mom. It was nothing mean or spiteful or anything -- but it was very honest. She never visited me after that -- and neither did the rest of my family. I say this because your mom may not understand your point of view, ever. It might be too frightening for her, or just plain too much for her to handle. I think one of the hardest things in life is letting go and allowing others to walk their own walk, even when we don't agree with how they're 'doing it'. Funny to be saying this about your parents when it's probably the exact way they are feeling about you right now. But it's true. You may need to let go of the imperative that they understand you or your journey.

I do hope I'm wrong though... :hug:


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## Goat Song

Thank you guys, for the wisdom. :hug: I went ahead and wrote a note to mom; well, okay, it was 2 full pages! I explained to her what I have explained to y'all here, as well as explaining other things that I have not mentioned on here. I gave it to her in person, and then went outside to take care of the goats. She came out about 10 minutes later, in tears, and apologized for everything. I don't know if this will change anything or not, but at least now they understand where I'm at, and why I wanted to go to MS. I may get a completely different outcome with my dad, but we'll see...

And I do believe it's safe to say that I am completely, emotionally exhausted now... Oy.


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## .:Linz:.

:hug:


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## luvmyherd

It's a good start. Group hug for goatsong :grouphug:


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## milkmaid

:grouphug:


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## Mandara Farm

That's great Goat Song! I'm so glad your mom has the willingness to listen -- that counts for a lot!


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## milkmaid

Praying and believing that your dad will take it well! ray:


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## lissablack

I'm with the group hug thing, but I can't make those things work.

Jan


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## Willow

Hearing about your moms tears brought me to tears . I hope that your dad has a similar response. Praying for you :grouphug:


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## Goat Song

Willow said:


> I hope that your dad has a similar response.


He did! Sorta'... He came up to me this morning and quietly said that I have their blessing, and they would help me in every way to get to VA. They both asked me to stay here with them, to which I agreed. I'm willing to give them a second chance, now that we seem to be on the level with each other. My grandpa was pretty disappointed that I won't be coming, but I do have to admit that it's a relief that I no longer have to stress about hauling fees to get the goats over to MS...

I think it finally hit home for mom and dad that this family needs some changes. They lost their first born son, who left for reasons that have been explained here; their first born daughter (which is me) was ready to leave, and their second daughter (my 16 yo. sister) was beginning to lean towards the same thing. I'm seeing small changes around here, and I'm hoping that they will continue, rather than eventually sputter to a stop after a couple months. Dad is taking me on Wednesday to get my driver's permit, and to apply for a job at our local health food store. I'll contact Polyface soon, to let them know when my flight will be coming in (I'm thinking it will leave on Jan. 17th, but not positive yet), and dad has started trying to take interest in the goats (which is very good!!). Other things I have noticed are things like mom and dad allowing my sisters and I to start going to dance meets again (we do English Country Dancing. Soooooo fun!!!), whereas they made us stop a couple years ago since they decided that they didn't want their daughters dancing; And the pulled my sister aside and started talking about college scholarships for her, and taking some online, pre-requisite courses (she has always wanted to be a nurse or a paramedic, but never thought it was possible).

So hopefully things will stay this way!


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## Goat Song

Oh, and I forgot one more thing! Yesterday, I was asked by one of my favorite authors (Jenna Woginrich. www.coldantlerfarm.blogspot.com) to come to her homestead in Jackson, NY, next October and teach a 'goat 101' class!! :wahoo: Every year, she hosts a 3-day festival/workshop sort of thing, called "Antlerstock", in which a whole bunch of different skills are taught. This year, they did things like cheesemaking, cider pressing, wood cutting/harvesting with horse power, chicken care 101, soap making... It's all homesteading skills. And she wants me to come and teach a goat class!!! :shocked: It will work perfectly, as the internship ends on Sept. 30th, and Antlerstock starts on October 5th, so I can go straight from VA to NY!  I'm excited...


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## Frosty1

So glad that things are going so much better for you!  And for your family also.


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## Mandara Farm

That's just wonderful news Goat Song! Everything is really coming together isn't it! :leap: Fantastic! I am also happy for your mom and dad, and the rest of your family. Good for you for working so hard to make it work and still not give up your dreams!


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## milkmaid

Caitlyn, that is absolutely wonderful! Praise God! :hug: I will continue to pray for you and your family.


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## KentuckyGirl

This is just wonderful!!! I'm so happy everything worked out for the best! :hug:


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## StaceyRosado

I am happy to hear of the good things happening -- I pray things continue to go smoothly and make sure your grandparents know the reasons you are staying are because you believe real change is happening and not because you were coerced into staying. It will mean a lot to them that you are doing well because I believe thats all they really want for you


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## Willow

Wonderful! You have really helped your family grow. I hope that you know how much you are loved and cared for by people on this forum. It really is quite amazing..and gives one hope and faith in community.


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## milkmaid

> I am happy to hear of the good things happening -- I pray things continue to go smoothly and make sure your grandparents know the reasons you are staying are because you believe real change is happening and not because you were coerced into staying. It will mean a lot to them that you are doing well because I believe thats all they really want for you


Ditto! :thumb:


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