# King of the stump!



## littlegoatgirl

My brother sister and I loved to play this, king of the stump, king of the hill, kind of the rock... The possibilities are endless. 
So basically what you do is you find a way to get the current king of the stump off the stump, and claim it as your own. Finish every post with "I am king of the stump." I'll start-

I walk up to an empty stump and say "I claim this stump." I am king of the stump.


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## Emzi00

I walk up to Sarah on the stump. Pick her up, and move her off the stump. I claim the stump. I am _Queen_ of the stump 
(Did I do it right? :lol: )


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## littlegoatgirl

Yes you did it right Emma 

I distract Emma by telling her that her goaties are stuck in a fence. She rushes off to help them, and I step back into the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## Emzi00

I run back and have my wether smother her with kisses until she falls off the stump. I exuberantly jump back on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

I have my little stinker, BB, headbutt Emma off the stump. I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


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## Emzi00

I have my little stinker, Billie, bulldoze her off the stump. I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!


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## Axykatt

I bring Peggy Sue to burp her infamous macaroni burps in yer face. You pass out and fall off the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Emzi00

When I come to *whew! Stanky burp!* I yell out "free hay!" And I claim the stump when y'all come running. I am queen of the stump.


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## goathiker

I sneak up behind Emma and put a spider in her hair. While she is busy trying to get rid of it I claim the stump. I am Queen of the stump!!


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## Emzi00

I spaz out and scream my lungs out until Jill runs away (I'm deathly afraid of bugs) I am queen of the stump!


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## PiccoloGoat

I set fire to the stump, cut down a new tree and claim the new stump. I am queen. >


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## littlegoatgirl

I drive in with the loader and pick you up, putting you in the hole I previously dug. I jump off the loader onto the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Axykatt

I place baby Amélie and a newborn Pygmy goat in a basket tied to a rope and use the cute to lure you away from the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Scottyhorse

I bring my boer doe, Annie, to bulldoze you off the stump. (She likes to claim high places  ) 
I AM QUEEN. And Annie is Co-Queen


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## MoKa-Farms

I wait until Annie is in heat and bring a buck and our goat Lacey and she runs after the buck and Lacey shoves Sydney off. I am queen. Nikki Minaj and Rose Red Mary are co-queens, Gypsy is secretary of stump management, Griffin de Goat is treasurer of stump management, Buttons And Bows is president of stump management, Ribbons And Lace is the vice president of stump management, Butternut is the captain of the cuddle team, Dutch Bunny is my secretary of bunny fluffiness, and Hey Alice is my secretary of moonspots and doeling fluffiness.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I get a cat launcher and start launching cats at Mo-Ka farms and when she falls of from being attacked by cats I jump on the stump and build a 20ft fence with a roof around the stump, I am Queen of the Stump


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## NubianFan

I strategically place cookies and bowls of spaghetti in a row farther and farther away from the stump, When Lacie goes off to have a nice nosh, I jump on the stump. I am Queen of the stump!


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

No fair Leslie, thats a dirty trick! :lol: 

I set up a crane with a wrecking ball on it, I throw a smoke bomb at Leslie, when she is blinded by the smoke, I let the ball swing and it nocks her off the stump, I jump on the stump

I am Queen of the Stump


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## Emzi00

I have someone go up to Leslie in need of therapy, they go somewhere more comfortable and I jump on the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## NubianFan

After I recover from a broken hip, I yell Hey Lacie Abner is in with the alpine girls again. When Lacie runs away calling Abner a retard I jump on the stump. Queen of the stump again!


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Wow Leslie, we both dont want you on the stump :ROFL: But Emma, I'm Queen of the Stump, you have to get me off the stump to be queen  :lol:


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## NubianFan

Emzi00 said:


> I have someone go up to Leslie in need of therapy, they go somewhere more comfortable and I jump on the stump. I am queen of the stump!


LOL you know me too well. 
I distract Emma with Babette's latest Doeling, Queen of the stump again!!


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## goathiker

While Emma and Lacie are busy arguing the merits of Alpine bloodlines, I quietly slide a board under them and move them to a nearby pile of dirt. Then I barricade the stump with shopping carts and strangers...I am queen of the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Well now you all fudged up the works of this game! :lol:

I throw a book at Leslies head and she gets nocked out, I jump on the stump and reclaim my title


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

goathiker said:


> While Emma and Lacie are busy arguing the merits of Alpine bloodlines, I quietly slide a board under them and move them to a nearby pile of dirt. Then I barricade the stump with shopping carts and strangers...I am queen of the stump.


NOOOOOO! That is so diabolical and mean! Why!!!

I get an excavator (think thats what its called) and pick everyone and everything up and sling them to an island, The I reclaim my stump.


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## NubianFan

When I recover my senses I sic Lacies own attack cat on her, when she is bleeding and running from the claws of her sinister cat, I get on the stump. I am Queen of the stump.


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## Emzi00

Hmm..
I yell "Free Risk straws!" And when Lacie comes running, I reclaim the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I sic my dogs on Leslie after I tend to my feline wounds..... when she is immobilized from the pack of them, I jump on the jump, I am queen of the stump


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## NubianFan

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> NOOOOOO! That is so diabolical and mean! Why!!!
> 
> I get an excavator (think thats what its called) and pick everyone and everything up and sling them to an island, The I reclaim my stump.


 That is diabolical and mean? You hit me with a wrecking ball and knocked me out with a book? :lol:

I unleash my secretly trained California condor and it picks Lacie up off the stump and deposits her in a herd of poorly conformed goats.
Meanwhile I am Queen of the stump


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I throw a potato at Emmas face, when she falls of the stump and has to go to the hospital I jump on the stump, I am queen of the stump


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## NubianFan

I make your dogs a big skillet full of my homemade sausage gravy they turn on you and now I am Queen of the Stump once more!


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## Emzi00

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> I throw a potato at Emmas face, when she falls of the stump and has to go to the hospital I jump on the stump, I am queen of the stump


Violent much? :laugh:
Maybe you do need therapy :lol:
I magically make Goober not pee on himself and clean and smell free. While you go to snuggle with him I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## NubianFan

I yell Lacie's here and when you go running to her I jump on the stump. Queen of the stump!


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## Emzi00

You know me to well! :lol:
I bow to the master and surrender. I'm not queen of the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I fly to MI and steal Billie, I have her held captive in a cage suspended over boiling oil, if you want to see her again, you must step down from your powers of the stump and let me take the throne (the stump), you accept the offer and you get Billie back and I am Queen of the stump again


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## NubianFan

Emzi00 said:


> You know me to well! :lol:
> I bow to the master and surrender. I'm not queen of the stump.


that's okay, you can have it back, I am going to class.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Oh well Emma that worked out perfect with my story :ROFL:


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## goathiker

I send Dexter the La Mancha buckling to watch the stump. When Lacie gets all freak out and runs I am again Queen of the stump


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## NubianFan

I come in and safely encase Billie in a shopping cart....


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## Emzi00

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> I fly to MI and steal Billie, I have her held captive in a cage suspended over boiling oil, if you want to see her again, you must step down from your powers of the stump and let me take the throne (the stump), you accept the offer and you get Billie back and I am Queen of the stump again


 Goodness your evil!  :lol: You can have it...
Until I drive to CA and steal Babette and well, repeat your evil... I am queen of the stump!


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## NubianFan

Me and my pal bigfoot come out to hang out with Jill at the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Thwarting my plans are you? I wont have it! :lol: 

I scratch up all of Leslies Scooby Doo dvd's and when she runs over to them crying I jump back on the stump, I am queen of the stump


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## NubianFan

ooops I gotta get to class have fun at the stump. I really gotta go this time.


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## NubianFan

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> Thwarting my plans are you? I wont have it! :lol:
> 
> I scratch up all of Leslies Scooby Doo dvd's and when she runs over to them crying I jump back on the stump, I am queen of the stump


I watch it on Netflix.... Dang it I really gotta go!!! LOL


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I cancel your subscription to Nexflix then?


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## goathiker

I rig speakers and play "Cat Scratch Fever" over and over at full volume. When Lacie snaps and tries to go assassinate Ted Nugent I again claim the stump.


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## Emzi00

I blast skillet as loud as I can, when Jill gets fed up with it and leaves I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## MoKa-Farms

I wait until early morning and make bacon next to the stump (hope you like bacon, Emma, I have no idea) and Emma wakes up to eat and while she is eating breakfast I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## Emzi00

:drool: I love bacon!
I make an even tastier lunch and while MoKa Farms is eating I reclaim the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## MoKa-Farms

I finish eating and I set out a table of free goat sweaters and yummy brush to distract Emma and I sneak onto the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I steal MoKa farms crown while she sleeps and I put it on, I am queen of the stump.


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## Emzi00

I offer Lacie a free AI set up in exchange for the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I offer Emma a free pig, I am queen of the stump


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## Emzi00

First I eat the pig. Then I offer Lacie free unlimited Risk straws 
I am queen of the stump!


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I decline your offer because there will never be unlimited risk straws, I am queen of the stump


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## Emzi00

Hmmm... I take Babette and put her in with "retard" (lol) You fly away with anger... I am queen of the stump


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

That would foil your plans on a Babette baby you know? I fly retard to MI and pen him with Billie,  welcome :wave:

I am queen of the stump


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## Emzi00

:laugh: As long as she has babies!
I fly out to CA and go cow tipping, with anger, Lacie comes after me 
I am queen of the stump


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## littlegoatgirl

I fly out to CA, seeing as you both are there. I offer free quality goat milk soap to y'all and you come running. I take a private jet back to the stump, and I am queen of the stump!


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I deafen Sarah with my laughter because I cant stop laughing everytime I think about my earlier comment about throwing a potato at Emma's face :ROFL: :slapfloor: anyway, you go deaf and are rushed to the doctor, and I reclaim the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

My hearing is restored by the magician that kindly turns Lacie into a bug, which I squash because I hate, and am terrified of bugs!


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## Emzi00

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> I deafen Sarah with my laughter because I cant stop laughing everytime I think about my earlier comment about throwing a potato at Emma's face :ROFL: :slapfloor: anyway, you go deaf and are rushed to the doctor, and I reclaim the stump.


You mean the potato that I pulled straight outa the ground in Idaho? :ROFL:


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## littlegoatgirl

:ROFL: Emma didn't claim the stump, I'm still queen!


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## NubianFan

I yell "Double Trouble Rides Again" and Sarah jumps down from the stump to find Emma, I jump on the Stump. Queen of the stump once more.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Yep Emma, that would be the potato! :slapfloor:

I open the valve on a tank of laughing gas and make Leslie laugh herself into a coma, then I reclaim the stump that is rightfully mine, and I am queen of the stump!


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## Axykatt

I command Jean Paul Goatier to dance in his fancy pants. When you run to join him (he is an excellent dancer) I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

I simply push you off the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Emzi00

Well, then. :lol:
I push Sarah off the stump. I am queen of the stump!


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## Emzi00

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> Yep Emma, that would be the potato! :slapfloor:


Well, if you wanted me to get it for you to eat, then you throw it at my face, then maybe I don't need to bring you the potato!  :ROFL:
Ehem.. I am queen of the stump


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## Rusty

I ring my cowbell and my heifer Biscuit who loves potatoes comes barreling over to grab it and Lacie is so startled at the giant white cowasaurus coming at her that she jumps off the stump and I am QUEEN of the stump! lol


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## MoKa-Farms

I have my rabbit, Dutch, employ his deceased rabbit wife zombie and Rusty gets scared and jumps off the stump and runs away. I am queen of the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I have my bull sling you off the stump, and you land in a maze of blackberry bushes/thorns, I reclaim the stump. I am queen of the stump


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## Scottyhorse

I have our big quarter horse, Cedars, pick you up with his neck and ride off into the sunset. Then dump you in a feed lot (lol)

I am queen of the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

I have BB sneeze in your face, making sure to have you scream before hand so it goes in your mouth. I am queen of the stump!


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## NubianFan

I tell Sarah that Lacie has posted a goat picture and wants her, Emma, and the other Sarah to critique it post hast, while she runs to her computer to critique I jump on the stump. Queen of the Stump again!!


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## littlegoatgirl

I pull out my iPod and critique on the app, while pushing Leslie off. I am queen if the stump!


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## NubianFan

I unleash a virus that makes all ipods sing the hamster dance song repeatedly as you run screaming from the horrible ipod I jump on the stump. Queen of the stump once more!


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## J.O.Y. Farm

^ I don't even want to know :doh:

I tell Leslie they are giving away some stellar Nubians down the road.. She runs off to find them and I am QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


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## NubianFan

J.O.Y. Farm said:


> ^ I don't even want to know :doh:
> 
> I tell Leslie they are giving away some stellar Nubians down the road.. She runs off to find them and I am QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


:drool: Nubians.... Seriously, if that were true you could HAVE the stump....


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## J.O.Y. Farm

ROFL! I would be over there snagging a few myself! LOL!

You forgot to claim the stump!


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## cowgirlboergoats

I took my mean buck and he chased the person off the stump. I am Now the Queen of the stump!!


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## J.O.Y. Farm

I had a box of spiders and dumped them on your head and you went running and screaming while I claim the stump


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## NubianFan

I tell you there is a rattle snake in the stump, when you run away I claim the stump. all hail Queen Leslie of the Stump.....


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## Emzi00

"All hail queen Leslie of the stump!"
Lol, okay, I push Leslie off the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## cowgirlboergoats

I pull all the spiders off of me and drop them and a crazy roster came and you went running away from him.I am now the QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!!!!


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## NubianFan

I love the horse in your avatar, but that doesn't stop me from scaring you away from the stump with a zombie costume. I am queen of the stump again!


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## cowgirlboergoats

Thanks
I let ghosts after and you run into a mean buck the butted you so hard you went to China.I am the QUEEN of the STUMP


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## NubianFan

Once in China I meet a wise old man who hands me a fortune cookie, it says "You are the rightful Queen of the Stump" as soon as I read it I am transported through space and time back to the stump. Queen of the Stump!!!


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## littlegoatgirl

NubianFan said:


> :drool: Nubians.... Seriously, if that were true you could HAVE the stump....


I agree! :drool:


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## littlegoatgirl

I unleash the wrath of my evil dead rooster. I wont go into details, I'll just tell you that he was renamed KILLER!


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## cowgirlboergoats

I push off the new queen and let a horse gallop over you


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## littlegoatgirl

I sky dive and "accidentally" land on you. I throw you in the cart and the goats pull you away.  I am queen of the stump


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I install a trap door on the stump, I pull the lever and you go falling to your doom. I move the lever back in place and lock it so the door can't open again. I jump on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## Emzi00

:laugh: I just push Lacie off the stump :lol: and chase her away with a shopping cart... Then I jump on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

I ward you off with handfuls of beans, and continue to barricade myself on the stump with shopping carts filled with beans


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## usamagoat

i walk up to my goats on the stump  i shoo them to the grassland of the stump im the princess of the stump:angel:
(am i playing the right way)


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## MoKa-Farms

In the middle of the night I take usamagoat and relocate to a stump in Alaska. I hop on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## usamagoat

i kill MoKa-Farms and then im the king of the stump!


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## Scottyhorse

usamagoat said:


> i kill MoKa-Farms and then im the king of the stump!


Well that escalated quickly...

I take usamagoat off to jail, then take over the stump. I use my nasty pygmy buck to guard me. Luckily, he is not in rut, so does will not distract him. I also have him chained to the stump so he can't run away. I am ruler of ALL the stumps


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## usamagoat

i kill scottyhorses buck.... and scare scottyhorse away im queen of the stump!


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## goathiker

The game is supposed to be inventive and fun...Like this

I sneak up and drip metal eating nanobots on the chain holding Sydney's buck. As he goes running through the next field with Sydney chasing him...I become Queen of the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

Um, as creator of this game, I ban all killing 


I create the first real flying saucer and park it over the stump. It sucks up Jill, and I put it on autopilot to drive away. I am queen of the stump!


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## NubianFan

I slip in quietly while Sarah is sleeping, I gently roll her from her sleeping position on the stump, onto the back of a fluffy, fluffy fat sheep. I have previously trained the sheep to walk very carefully far away from the stump then stop and graze. I just step up on the stump and I am Queen of the Stump...


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## usamagoat

i bring bulldogs and make them eat leslie and then i walk gently on a red carpet towards the stump......im queen of the stump!


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## littlegoatgirl

I'll say this again- NO KILLING in this game please. It's meant to be fun a creative, please no killing

I realize that my parachute is a knapsack while skydiving, and fall on top of you. I am queen of the stump


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## Emzi00

I lure you off the stump with a ridiculously awesome Nubian buck for stud... I am queen of the stump.


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## littlegoatgirl

:drool: I am scared away by the prices and knock myself back into my senses. I inform you that an oberhasli buck from around you or me broke in and bred your doe. You run away screaming, and I reclaim the stump.

I'm queen of the stump!


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## Texaslass

I use my power of invisibility to sneak up on Sarah and scare her out of her wits by yelling BOO!! In her ear; she faints, and my trained Aussie drags her away sleeping peacfully all the way.
I am now queen of the stump!


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## NubianFan

I play a video and audio cut of "What does the fox say" loudly in close vicinity to the stump, Sarah runs away covering her ears and I step on the stump. I am Queen of the stump.


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## Texaslass

:ROFL: Yes, I would! Lol, Leslie! :angry: Now I will dream of weird singing foxes! :hammer:


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## Scottyhorse

NubianFan said:


> I play a video and audio cut of "What does the fox say" loudly in close vicinity to the stump, Sarah runs away covering her ears and I step on the stump. I am Queen of the stump.


Eeew, I HATE that song!!!


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## littlegoatgirl

My class is doing a dance thing to that song for our talent show!!!!!!! Thanks to me!  haha

I perform the dance, and Leslie loves it so much she runs away to try and figure out a routine to too me


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## Cactus_Acres

Little does littlegoatgirl know that I put a remote controlled mechanism in every pair of her shoes, so that she uncontrollably does the footwork for a polka dance, dancing her unhappy bottom off MY stump. I grab my snacks and am set to defend my stump.


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## goathiker

I take Peeping Dex to Wyoming and put him in with Elissa's Nubian does. While he is happily humping their heads, I inform Elissa that if she doesn't remove herself from my stump he will figure out the right end...I'm queen of the stump.


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## NubianFan

LOL Jill!


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## Texaslass

I tell Jill that Elissa has a shotgun pointed at Dex's head and is about to pull the trigger, so Jill runs off to get him back whilst I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump!!


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## goathiker

Oh, so mean, who could shoot Dex?


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## Texaslass

I think I could, if he was trying to breed my does! :lol: No velociraptor babies for my girls! :lol: jk, I wouldn't shoot him.


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## goathiker

While returning from my space voyage I stopped at the dark side of the moon exchange and picked up a multi purpose ray gun. Confronting Sarah on the stump I use the ray to turn her into the squirrel from Ice Age. I am queen of the stump.


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## Texaslass

Yay I get to be Scrat! :lol: He's so cute! 
I find a nut and throw it expertly at Jill's head, knocking her out. Then my trained pet elephant named Edgar carries you away, digs a hole ten feet deep, and lowers you into it. You are now stuck in the hole and I am queen of the stump!


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## Emzi00

I lure Sarah away with some airplane eared doelings... I am queen of the stump...


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## Texaslass

I tuck thoses airplane eared doelings into the barn and come back with Breck, who butts you off with his big ol' horns. :dazed: I am queen of the stump! (and if you come to, you will pass out again from Breck's stink, so I keep him on guard duty.  )


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## NubianFan

I lure Breck away with Promises of Drusilla When you go looking for him I jump on the stump... Queen of the stump. I then circle the stump with shopping carts, beans, video cuts of "what does the fox say" La manchas and spiders. and sit back and enjoy the view and my reign..


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## Texaslass

:ROFL: You can have the stump, Leslie!


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## Cactus_Acres

NubianFan said:


> I lure Breck away with Promises of Drusilla When you go looking for him I jump on the stump... Queen of the stump. I then circle the stump with shopping carts, beans, video cuts of "what does the fox say" La manchas and spiders. and sit back and enjoy the view and my reign..


Shopping carts are blown away by the wind (because the stump just happens to be here in wyoming, and our wind is something else). My chickens eat the spiders and beans. I show the lamanchas some of my garden veggies (okay, my heads of sunflowers) and the Boer bucks my neighbor has. The shameful hussies quickly forget they are supposed to be staying near you. I don my earplugs to block out the music.

I wait for nightfall, and I catch the stump's inhabitant. Then I tie you up, give you a good hosing off to make sure you don't have any bad surprises for my goats, and then coat you in molasses. I did shut the gate so your goats cannot help you. My girls go to town on those molasses. Goatie kisses from my henchmen. I finally am ready to claim my stump.


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## NubianFan

Cactus_Acres said:


> Shopping carts are blown away by the wind (because the stump just happens to be here in wyoming, and our wind is something else). My chickens eat the spiders and beans. I show the lamanchas some of my garden veggies (okay, my heads of sunflowers) and the Boer bucks my neighbor has. The shameful hussies quickly forget they are supposed to be staying near you. I don my earplugs to block out the music.
> 
> I wait for nightfall, and I catch the stump's inhabitant. Then I tie you up, give you a good hosing off to make sure you don't have any bad surprises for my goats, and then coat you in molasses. I did shut the gate so your goats cannot help you. My girls go to town on those molasses. Goatie kisses from my henchmen. I finally am ready to claim my stump.


LOL Touche!

***secretly I have no idea why any of us want to be on a stump..., if we were fighting over a beach cabana, or a mountain cabin, or a ritzy hotel room in some big touristy city I could understand... but ... a ... stump?? :shrug::slapfloor:***


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## Texaslass

:slapfloor: Me too!


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## goathiker

because its awesome


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## NubianFan

oh well then, that is an awesome stump....


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## Texaslass

:lol: Nice; but I wish the tree had some leaves on it.


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## cowgirlboergoats

I smile and push of the queen
I am now the queen of the stump with my Boer goats.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I bring free slushies for everyone and when you drink them too fast and get brainfreeze and fall over (It's THAT bad of brainfreeze!) I hop up on the stump, I am queen of the stump.
Little bit of worthless information, I have never had a brainfreeze before


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## Emzi00

I freeze Lacie's brainthat doesn't sound quite right..and when she falls to the ground begging for mercy, I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

:ROFL: No that doesnt sound right! :lol: 

I fly to Michigan and raid Emma's house for ketchup and mayonnaise, and when she realizes that I'm in her house, she jumps off the stump and runs home. I have already let the scene of the crime, but lingered long enough so I wouldnt feel compelled to return. I make my way to the stump, and start cooking hamburgers, and use the ketchup and mayonnaise for them. I am queen of the stump


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## Emzi00

Tailgate party?? :lol:
I take back my ketchup and mayonnaise and make Lacie ask for it politelygoodness, you just _had_ to raid my house  after that she goes back to get some more stuff for her burgers, while she is gone for the moment I reclaim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


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## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Well raiding the house made for a better story :lol: And I AM in my "criminal coat" at the moment :laugh: 

While Emma sets her glass down at the party, I swap it with burger grease and stuff, when she returns and takes a drink and realizes that its not her drink and runs off the stump about to vomit, I hop back on the stump, I am queen of the stump


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## Emzi00

Eww!

I... come charging in on my trusty shopping cart... and when Lacie runs away in terror I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

:ROFL: :slapfloor:

HEY! Can't any of you play fair, all you you have to use the shopping cart thing! No fair 

I shoot an experimental bean into Emma's head and now she thinks she has a meeting in Ireland, and boards the first plane she can, I take back MY stump, and I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goathiker

I show Lacie an add featuring roach backed, parrot mouthed, blue eyed, elf eared, pure white, registered Alpine bucks. While she stomps off to make sure ADGA pulls their papers...I claim the stump...


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I take a shotgun and yell at goathiker don't make me do it.She runs away in fear and I claim the stump with my shotgun


----------



## goathiker

Cowgirl stands guard until getting sleepy. I sneak up and pack the barrel of her shotgun with mud. When she tries to fire a warning shot the barrel explodes causing her to go deaf for 2 days. Disorientated, she wanders off toward Canada...I am queen of the stump.


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

When I got back I took my other shotgun and made a thunder storm by using my power and my shotgun.I ran to sympathizers house and shot one of her goats and bright them to the stump.I showed it to her and she ran back to the house for 2 reasons.1)She was soaking wet and 2) she did not want any of her goats to be shot


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I am the queen of the stump


----------



## NubianFan

No killing!!!


----------



## NubianFan

I yell "Citizens arrest, Citizens arrest!!!!" and handcuff Cowgirlboergoats to a nearby tree limb, whilst I call Sheriff Andy Taylor. While he and Barney drive over I climb on the stump, I am Queen of the stump!!


----------



## Cactus_Acres

In the midst of all this, goathiker doesn't notice that I swapped out the real, rotted wooden stump with a cheapo plastic one. Somehow, no one noticed that I took it while they were either being deafened, or gloating over the genius of gumming up the gun. I fill a field full of replica stumps, and somewhere in that field is the real one. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## NubianFan

Since the fact that Cactus Acres is standing on the real stump, gives away which one is the real stump. I set loose a herd of beavers who have been specially trained to chew plastic stumps and when Cactus Acres freaks out and runs away in distress I claim the real stump. I am Queen of the stump


----------



## Texaslass

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> Little bit of worthless information, I have never had a brainfreeze before


Oh that is so weird; us crazy goat people have too much in common- I never get brain freezes either! But I'm the only one in my family- I'm weird, I get... Nose freezes! Isn't that crazy?


----------



## Axykatt

I ask Leslie politely if I may please stand on her lovely stump. She is befuddled by these tactics and says, "Why yes, of course," out of habitual politeness and steps down.

I am queen of the stump.


----------



## NubianFan

Axykatt said:


> I ask Leslie politely if I may please stand on her lovely stump. She is befuddled by these tactics and says, "Why yes, of course," out of habitual politeness and steps down.
> 
> I am queen of the stump.


:slapfloor:It is funny because it is trooo....


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

O take a pair of bolt cutters and break the handcuffs.I run over to the queen of the stump and yelled "There is a boxing goat down-town one day only!"Everyone runs to there cars and went to go see him.I am the queen of the stump


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

goathiker said:


> I show Lacie an add featuring roach backed, parrot mouthed, blue eyed, elf eared, pure white, registered Alpine bucks. While she stomps off to make sure ADGA pulls their papers...I claim the stump...


  Oh god, that is....that's something, that's what that is! I'm imagining it with like 7 legs as well, the normal 4 then 2 growing from its back and side, oh my imagination....

I put up a raffle for one of my does kids and when everyone runs off to enter the raffle, I claim the stump.


----------



## Texaslass

I do not run to the raffle, as I am raising Nigerian dwarfs, and am not interested in Alpine kids, so I sneak up and put ice down your pants, shirt, and socks, and you run away screaming. I am now queen of the stump.


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I run back after not getting the doe and and whispered in her ear that the duck dynasty crew was here and she ran off to see them.I am now the queen of the stump


----------



## NubianFan

I have spent hours teaching the stump to recognize my foot prints, weight, height, smell and voice. I have also trained it to catapult anyone else off it at high velocity into a waiting pool of pistachio pudding. As Sarah plops in the pudding I step up to the stump. Queen once more.


----------



## Texaslass

Pistachio pudding?? :slapfloor: Is that even real?


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Woah there, that's a little to close for comfort Sarah! :lol: You and your ice!

I make a snowball gun (somehow we skipped through fall and there is now snow on the ground for my snowball launcher/gun thingy) and I load it full of snow, and rapid fire snowballs at Sarah's face, when she is beaten in the face enough she falls backward off the stump. I then take a chain and hook it to the stump and pull it from the ground, I take the stump to my house and put it in my living room and use it as a lovely table/center piece. I have my dogs guard the stump, and put my meaner than a s**t house rat, cockatoo on the stump to guard it as well. Good luck getting the stump back, between the guard dogs and bird that will rip your face off, I don't see a way you can steal it back, at this point in time :lol:

I am queen of the stump


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

NubianFan said:


> I have spent hours teaching the stump to recognize my foot prints, weight, height, smell and voice.


You must teach me how you trained the stump!  :ROFL:


----------



## NubianFan

I spend hours learning to play a dog whistle in a comforting tune that only Lacies dogs can hear. It compels them to grab their birdie friend in their mouth and run outside to stare at the trees... In their trance like state they are virtually oblivious to the fact that I walked in Lacie's house, left her a homemade meatloaf on the table and took the stump....When the stump is replaced in its original spot I hop on Queen of the stump once more....


----------



## NubianFan

Texaslass said:


> Pistachio pudding?? :slapfloor: Is that even real?


yes it is green and quite tasty. should make a soft if messy landing too.:ROFL:


----------



## NubianFan

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> You must teach me how you trained the stump!  :ROFL:


Now now, I can't give away all my secrets can I?


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Oh well if you left me food, then by all means, take the dang stump! :ROFL: 

I go back in time and bring back a pterodactyl and train it to swoop down upon people and carry them off to a remote island of no return. I order it to pluck Leslie up and carry her off, I hop back on the stump once more, and I am queen of the stump. And I spend the immediate time being building up my defences, just knowing Leslie will turn my prehistoric bird against me! :lol:


----------



## Texaslass

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> Woah there, that's a little to close for comfort Sarah! :lol: You and your ice!
> 
> I make a snowball gun (somehow we skipped through fall and there is now snow on the ground for my snowball launcher/gun thingy) and I load it full of snow, and rapid fire snowballs at Sarah's face, when she is beaten in the face enough she falls backward off the stump. I then take a chain and hook it to the stump and pull it from the ground, I take the stump to my house and put it in my living room and use it as a lovely table/center piece. I have my dogs guard the stump, and put my meaner than a s**t house rat, cockatoo on the stump to guard it as well. Good luck getting the stump back, between the guard dogs and bird that will rip your face off, I don't see a way you can steal it back, at this point in time :lol:
> 
> I am queen of the stump


Yeah, I know, I'm not super creative tonight. 

Hey now, no throwing snow in my face! Of the 3 times I've seen snow, the first time (when I was about 3 or 4) , my sister threw a snowball in my face and it made me cry! :tears: I can still remember how unpleasant that felt.


----------



## NubianFan

little-bits-n-pieces said:


> oh well if you left me food, then by all means, take the dang stump! :rofl:
> 
> I go back in time and bring back a pterodactyl and train it to swoop down upon people and carry them off to a remote island of no return. I order it to pluck leslie up and carry her off, i hop back on the stump once more, and i am queen of the stump. And i spend the immediate time being building up my defences, just knowing leslie will turn my prehistoric bird against me! :lol:


:rofl::rofl:


----------



## littlegoatgirl

NubianFan said:


> No killing!!!


Thank you!


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I chase Lacie off with a shopping cart with weird people in it, she runs off screaming. I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump!


----------



## BibleGoats

I, the newcomer, use mace on current stump person. I am Diplomatic president of the stump. Chewbaka is my vice.


----------



## littlegoatgirl

Haha welcome! I tell you that you're banned from the forum and you run off exclaiming "I just joined!" I am queen of the stump!


----------



## BibleGoats

I decide that you were lying and blast an adventures In odyssey on lying and you try to find the stereo so you can turn it off. I am supreme dictator of the stump. My half Mexican hamster pacho is my succuser.


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I push you off the stump. I am queen of the stump


----------



## MoKa-Farms

I roll a trojan goat near the stump to distract littlegoatgirl and when she goes to see it a thousand goats jump out and surround her. While she is playing with the goats I jump on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I get in my combine and start to drive toward the stump. Utterly afraid, you run as fast as your legs can carry you, as far away as you can. I get out of my combine and leap onto the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## NubianFan

I tell Sarah the story of my night of terror at the Crescent hotel, mortified and shaking Sarah runs away from the stump... Unfortunately I scare myself so badly with the retelling that I run away too..... Not Queen of the stump... but still alive...


----------



## Goatzrule

I go to Leslie and tell her that someone is holding her goat in the middle of a lake and well she is trying to get the goat back I take the stump. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I scoop you up and throw you into Lake Michigan. You can't swim, and you flop around while someone throws you a life raft. I hop on the stump and show off my terrible dancing skills. I'm queen of the stump!


----------



## NubianFan

I sit right beside you and grin at you. I never take my gaze from your face and I just continuously grin a huge creepy grin. Finally completely aghast and creeped out by my facial expression and lack of response you slowly start creeping away from me. I then continue to sit on the stump grinning crazily at anyone who passes, Queen of the stump.


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I go shave your goats hair off- completely! You run off screaming.

You now have naked goats, and I am queen of the stump


----------



## NubianFan

I continue to grin unfazed by the shaved off goat hair, my reasoning is, you have already shaved it off nothing can be done about it now, so I sit with this idiotic grin on my face until you decide I can have the stupid old stump anyways... Queen of the stump


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I pie you in the face and rub pudding in your hair. Then I throw feathers, rice, and the goats' fur at you, which sticks to your pudding that had now covered your body. You are still reluctant to leave, so I pour 6 giant bottles of glue on you. You finally give up and go take a shower. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatlady1314

I grab littlegoatgirls hair swing her around (while on the stump) and release where she will fly into the sinking sand....... I am queen of the stump


----------



## Texaslass




----------



## littlegoatgirl

I call my goats and they pull me out of the sinking sand. After securing the safely in their pen, I climb a tall tree near the stump. I jump, and land I the current queen of the stump. She is momentarily confused, so I take the moment to tell her that all her goats are waiting to be butchered at the butcher right now, and she runs off to get get her goat. I am queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

After I get my goats I go and get my bulldozer and hit her right of the stump... she still wont leave so I took her to thr cliff and threw her down.. I am queen of the stump!!


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I swim to the shore and realize I'm on an abandoned island... Except for the natives, who treat me like a celebrity! I can literally get anything I want, and this place has all this futuristic technology! I teleport the stump to my island, and since the island isn't on the map, I am queen of the stump! Nobody will ever find me  hehe


----------



## goatlady1314

I go to my goats and they magically turned into reindeers and flew me all the way to the island. I see littlegoatgirl on MY stump!! I stary throwing star fish at her and she faints I am queen of the stump!!


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I come to and throw angry crabs and your face. They latch on and you run away screaming. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatlady1314

I get all the crabs off... I am super mad so I pull a tree right out of the ground and throw it so hard it take her all the way to china haha i am queen of the stump!


----------



## NubianFan

I sit back and have a diet coke and a smile and watch the show... who cares about a stump?


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I grab Leslie, annoyed with her presence, and punt her to Timbuktu. Then I unleash a bunch of rabid dogs with rabies on goat lady. She runs off screaming "don't bite me! I hate shots!" Once the dogs have safely gone out of sight, I claim MY stump. I'm queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

I take a wrecking ball and make you hold it for me well I take the stump. I am the queen of the stump!


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I hire Payton manning to throw a football at your head. You fall to the ground and I be in queen Of the stump


----------



## BibleGoats

I am in awe of the ideas coming from the person above me but,alas, I still mount my fat pony daisy and allow her crazy half gallop half trot to run you over. While you cry about your broken fibula I take the stump. Sissy! ( I truly love your ideas though)


----------



## littlegoatgirl

Haha thanks, Im young, therefore I'm very creative  I order 12 people to help organize a ceremony for me. They roll a 1/2 mile long red carpet down the middle of a field to the stump. They line it with flowers of every kind, and I get into my mini surrey with the fringe on top. I take the front seat and sit sideways to prop up my broken leg, and my team of 3 goats pull me forward as I wave like the queen of England. You are so stunned by my grand entrance you get off the stump when I reach it. The goats halt at the edge, I get out, and crutch over to the stump. I, my friend, am queen of the stump. 

(Seriously, thanks )


----------



## BibleGoats

I decide you truly are queen of the stump. After about a six month term, however, I become irritated with your violent dictatorship. I decide to overthrow you and launch a giant pr campaign. I also win over the military with my serpents tongue. You gradually louse supporters until I launch my master plan. I back my pickup over a woopee cushion. This blows into a rack of bowling balls that fall over triggering a blowtorch to start spurting flames. This burns trough a rope holding up a jack hammer, the jack hammer falls onto the ground surrounding the stump and dips a giant pit like a most. The jackhammer falls onto a pole that releases a boot on a string and kicks you into the pit. I load Nile crocodiles into the pit with you and loudly threaten "move and I feed all your goats to my pigs" I then jet pack go the stump, build an island resort on top of it and enjoy the time I have. (Did I mention I'm a writer by trade?)


----------



## BibleGoats

BibleGoats said:


> I decide you truly are queen of the stump. After about a six month term, however, I become irritated with your violent dictatorship. I decide to overthrow you and launch a giant pr campaign. I also win over the military with my serpents tongue. You gradually louse supporters until I launch my master plan. I back my pickup over a woopee cushion. This blows into a rack of bowling balls that fall over triggering a blowtorch to start spurting flames. This burns trough a rope holding up a jack hammer, the jack hammer falls onto the ground surrounding the stump and dips a giant pit like a most. The jackhammer falls onto a pole that releases a boot on a string and kicks you into the pit. I load Nile crocodiles into the pit with you and loudly threaten "move and I feed all your goats to my pigs" I then jet pack go the stump, build an island resort on top of it and enjoy the time I have. (Did I mention I'm a writer by trade?)


Moat most...


----------



## BibleGoats

Digs not dips
Moat not most


----------



## Goatzrule

I dig a hole under the stump the make the ground really moist under your feet and the weight of you partying on the stump makes you and the stump fall through the ground. And the last time you were sopted was in China. I am not the Queen of the stup but nether are you so I win, in a way.


----------



## littlegoatgirl

I hanglide from a mountain to the stump and kick you off it, landing on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## Pats_Perfect_Boer_Goats

You guys are seriously sick...

I hire a stunt pilot to fly me over the stump; I then empty a 55 gallon barrel full of snakes onto your head. After you run screaming, I jump out and claim possession of the stump. I am now king of the stump!


----------



## goatlady1314

I come along to claim my spot....I get a bunch of monkeys and have they throw me on your neck then I toss you up to the monkeys and they play pass with you.... I dont know were you ended up. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatfarmergirl

I made a pumpkin cheese cake. 
While you are eating it I claim the stump.:cake:
I'm the queen of the stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

I a herd of horses and make them trampel you. and I claim the stump well you are trying to out run the horses. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## BibleGoats

I hear then sound of horses beautiful hooves and come running. When I see them stomping madly about I bring treats out of my pockets. After a few hours the horses all love me. I ride the tallest stallion, a bronzed buckskin akhal Teke, to your stump kingdom. I have all my jousting gear on and joust you off the stump. Behind the stump I build a huge stable and enclose one hundred acres of pasture. The horses all live there now.


----------



## BibleGoats

I am the unchallenged victor!!!! Hehehe.... Bring it on!


----------



## Goatzrule

well you are building a stable your workers quit and you have to do it yourself so you leave your stallion on gard, I ride up on my jaw-droping strawberry roan Akhal Teke mare, I send my mare back to get my other horses, and the stallion fallows. Now I am the queen of the stump and I also have 2 more horses. Stallion+mare=?


----------



## goatlady1314

I send a big herd of wild horses and while they are running by your stallion and mare both go with them and you run after them trying to get your horses back while I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## MoKa-Farms

A knock goatlady out and I dig up the stump and move it 5,000 miles away and sit on it. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

I take a plate of cookies and attach it to a string and have a remote control car pull it a round a field and well you go trying to catch the plate of cookies and i sit on the stump with a glass of milk attached to an airplane. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

While you are sitting on the stump I gather a group of ants to pick up the stump and lightly toss you off while i promptly sit upon the stump i am now the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I chase a herd of buffalo around goatygirl while I sneak up behind her and throw her on one of the buffalos. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

I tame the buffalo and train them to gard the stump wile you run from the stump. I am now the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

goatygirl said:


> I tame the buffalo and train them to gard the stump wile you run from the stump. I am now the queen of the stump


I brainwash the buffalo and put them all to sleep then I turn into a very stong person and throw you 138,826,82727 miles away, then I pile all the buffalo up around the stump with me in the middle, I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

I become super women and fly to the stump pick you up and place you off the stumo then I pick up the stump and fly to the moon with it I am now the queen of the stump.


----------



## NubianFan

After your oxygen runs out and you fall from the moon. I use a super souped up boomerang to throw at the stump on the moon and retrieve it. Once I get it back to its proper place I hop on and once again I am Queen of the Stump


----------



## goatygirl

After I regain consousness I send hundreds of remote control feathers to tickel you off the stump I then go and sit on the stump I am now the queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

Well you are tickling her I have a whole forst and cut down the tree that is in the middle. For protection I have 38 lions in the forst of 10 trees. I am the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

Goatzrule said:


> Well you are tickling her I have a whole forst and cut down the tree that is in the middle. For protection I have 38 lions in the forst of 10 trees. I am the queen of the stump


I have a flying reindeer and I was flying over the forest I seen you on the stump while I was flying down to plow you off I recognized you so I landed beside you and we hugged and decided we will be queen of the stump together!


----------



## Goatzrule

Well that is a good idea


----------



## goatygirl

I cut down all the trees in the forest and built a castle around the stump I fill the mote with sharks and I sit on the stump in the middle of both stumps i am now the queen of both stumps while both of you surve as prisoners


----------



## MoKa-Farms

I fly over the moat filled with sharks on the back of my wether Griffin with wings and put Olivia on the other side and build a fire-ant covered dome. I free Kelsie and goatlady. I climb on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

I crush all the ants and take your griffen to use against you I blow you off the stump that I am now the queen of


----------



## MoKa-Farms

I get Gypsy (Griffins big-time girlfriend) and lure Griffin back over to me and I put them back in the barn. Then I grab Nikki Minaj and make her I-am-upset-because-I'm-pregnant scream at Olivia and while Olivia is curled up in a fetal position on the ground covering her ears, I fly her to Russia (on Griffin, of course) and sit on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

I put cut outs of One Direction on the other side of an ally. You have one of tye biggest crushes on that band can't help but fall for the silly little prank. You get of the stump and run towards it. I grab the stump and sit on it. I am the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I come along and plow you off the stump with a big stick! I accidentally knocked you out so I put you in a lifterator and you fly all the way to iowa haha i am queen of the stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

Well I'm in Iowa I say hi to all your sisters and brothers than I wait because I know if am at your house you would be with me. I'm not queen of the stump but I make a good point.


----------



## goatlady1314

While I am flying home on my rein deere with the stump, I am landing when Kelsie runs out to me and I faint. After awhile I regain consciousness, and I said would you share the stump with me?


----------



## Goatzrule

Than I say no and take the stump and the rein deer to my summer home in France. I stand on top of the stump. I'm the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I am furious and when I get mad I blow up into a giant cave woman, so I jumped super far all the way to "your summer home" when I saw you I was so mad I punched the ground and the whole world split and surprisingly you fell down the crack along with the stump but......I cought the stump and took it to Russia now I am queenn of the stump!!


----------



## Goatzrule

I got a hold of a branch a pulled myself up. I snuck up behind you and put a blind fold on you. Then I tied you to a raft. And sent you out into the ocean. Than I sat on the stump. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## goatlady1314

While I am floating on the ocean I see I am being circled by sharks. I am super woman and I rastle all the sharks but the biggest one and I trained him to ride and I rode back to russia so angry I tied a gigantic rock to you and threw you into the middle of the ocean and you sank to the bottom I am queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

I took the rope that you tied me with and cut it with my swimming skills I swam to the top. A boat passing by saw me and pulled me on board. They had a stump and I sat on it I'm the queen of the stump,


----------



## goatlady1314

Thats the wrong stump! U r queen of the fake stump!


----------



## Goatzrule

No I'm not. Your stump has been fake all along. This is the real stump!


----------



## goatlady1314

My stump is gold yours is silver


----------



## Goatzrule

No yours has been painted! If mines not real than where is the real stump?


----------



## goatlady1314

I have it


----------



## Goatzrule

No yours was painted can't you see.


----------



## goatlady1314

I have it hidden under ground were no one can find it!


----------



## Goatzrule

"I have stolen that forever ago and was waiting for you to notice " As you open the hole where the real stump was and saw it was missing. "You will never find it now! Hahahahahaha. Now I'm off to see my friend in Mexico. Tata. "


----------



## goatlady1314

Well im extremely mad so I fly out to mexico and wrestle you, I win of course then I tie you up and take the real stump with me on my journey to elderado. I am queen of the stump


----------



## Emzi00

I push you off the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatlady1314

I take you and give u a swirly then throw you into the sinking sand I am queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

I pick you up and throw you into the future. I am the queen of the stump


----------



## goatygirl

Well you are distracted I through you into a bag and tie you to a tree well I am now the queen the stump now now before me!


----------



## NubianFan

The stump thoroughly disgusted. Comes to my house and knocks on the door. I look outside and see a stump on my doorstep. I mistakenly think my dad has brought me firewood to use during the winter storm and throw the stump in my fireplace and light a fire. I sit toasting my hands in front of the cozy fire, queen of the now burning stump...


----------



## Goatzrule

After the stump's funeral service I go into my room and cry. When I fall asleep I see the stump in the after life and now I'm the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I sneak up on you and tell you santa got a Christmas present and u were so excited u ran home leaving the stump with me I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

One morning I go into a forrest and cut down the biggest tree there I then build a mote surrouning the stump I am now queen of a new stamp


----------



## goatlady1314

Wait, how did u get the stump


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

^^ She made a new stump since Leslie burned that last one to ashes. For shame Leslie ! :lol:


----------



## Emzi00

I push her off the newly cut stump. I am queen of the stump.
I'm not feeling very creative


----------



## margaret

I tell Emma that I have a new goat for her and she runs off with glee and I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

I bribe you with two goats so you get off and I get on I am the queen of the stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I would rather have goats then a stump.


----------



## margaret

Yeah well I tell you that I brought a yummy dinner to your house and it is waiting for you and you are so hungry that you jump off the stump and run to your dinner and I am queen of the stump!


----------



## Emzi00

I pull up and start cooking bacon, telling everyone it's free, you run over and I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## margaret

Ooo Emma you got my soft spot, I LOVE bacon!!!!! I am trying to think of a good response!


----------



## margaret

I got it! I go ask the farm that I sold my buck to if I can borrow him and I bring him with me and Emma takes one sniff and runs off disgusted  I am queen of the stump. (Jupiter stays and guards the stump in return for some does)


----------



## Emzi00

I love the smell of buck.... Good perfume....
I offer you an awesome show doe in exchange for the stump, and I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## margaret

Rats! (I do too) Since you like it so much I give you a jar containing a buck rag in exchange for the stump. I am queen of the stump


----------



## ndwarf

Margaret I tell you that Tansy died. You faint with horror and fall of and I get on and claim the stump and I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## margaret

Ndwarf I go see that Tansy has not died after all and I tell you that I heard that Tara was sent to the glue factory, now you faint with horror and I am queen of the stump!


----------



## ndwarf

Margaret I tell you that Oreo delivered a beautiful healthy doeling:wahoo: and you run off in glee to see her. I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP(FOREVER)


----------



## usamagoat

ndwarf, i tell you that someone stole all your goats:GAAH: and you run in a flash to your house! i am queen of the stump!!!


----------



## margaret

usama goat i push you off. I am queen of the stump!


----------



## usamagoat

Margaret i tell you there is a delicious meal waiting for you in your house and you run their! i am queen of the stump!!!:roll:


----------



## margaret

usamagoat I give you a beautiful registered Nubian show doe in exchange for the stump. i am queen of the stump!!!:stars:


----------



## Emzi00

I build a shopping cart go cart with a potato turret attached to the front. I drive around and shoot potatoes at the current queen of the stump. She runs away in terror and I claim the stump. I detach my potato turret and mount it to the stump which I use to defend it. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## margaret

Emma 
I shoot you with a BB gun, you run off screaming in pain and I am queen of the stump.:laugh:


----------



## margaret

still queen


----------



## goatygirl

I tell you that you goats are on strike and will not produce until you go and play with them. you get off the stump to go to your goats, while your away i claim the stump. i am the queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

i tell you that December aborted you run off crying and I am queen of the stump.


----------



## ndwarf

I tell you that Oreo got her head stuck in the fence. you run off to help her and I am the Queen of the Stump


----------



## margaret

I tell you that multi died you run off crying and I am queen


----------



## ndwarf

I find out that Multi did not die but that there was mold in your cat's food and therefore all of your cats have did and you run off to see and I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP


----------



## Goatzrule

well you guys are talking about that i walk up to the stump and claim it. I AM THE QUEEN OF THE STUMP


----------



## goatygirl

:rainbow:I sue you for lying to me i now have the money to claim every stump you have ever owned! *I AM THE QUEEN!*


----------



## margaret

I sue you for suing me it doesn't work so i bribe you with a new baby goat and I* am queen of the stump*


----------



## ndwarf

I push you off the stump:twisted:
I am QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!:kidblack:arty:


----------



## goatygirl

I shove you in to the hole were the stump was 
*I AM QUEEN Give up already*


----------



## NubianFan

I walk quietly over and stand next to you on your stump. You look at me oddly and ask what I am doing, I announce that I have fever... You freak out not knowing what terrible illness I have just exposed you to and run off screaming, I simply step on your vacated stump. I am the queen of the stump....


----------



## goatygirl

i then you realize that your problem is not catch able so i come over and knock you off the stump with my boar buck. i am queen


----------



## ThomasdaGoat

Margret, I tell you you goats died in a tragic car accident when the goats hopped into your car and drove away! Instantly you faint and never wake up again so I become queen of the stump.


----------



## Emzi00

I go up to the current queen of the stump and tell her a very sad story, when she goes to get a tissue, I step on the stump. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl

All this time you never pushed me off the stump i am still and will always be the queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

I come with an 18 wheeler and run you off the stump and I am queen of the stump.


----------



## ndwarf

Margaret, I come with a gorgeous Nigerian dwarf doeling:lovey: and bribe you to give me the stump in exchange for her. I am Queen of the stump!!:stars::cheers::wahoo:


----------



## goatygirl

I tell Margaret that the goat is fake and is really a sheep! me and her gang up and knock ndwarf of the stump. we are now the queen of the stump


----------



## Rusty

I go tuck the ears of the ND doeling under, wipe her face and bootie with my overly protective Horned Mini Mancha herd queen's milk and tell her that you have her baby, so she butts you off the stump, grabs the doeling and runs off with it and while you are trying to figure out how to catch her -I jump on the stump now I am the queen of the stump....bwahahahhahaha!


----------



## goatygirl

I catch the two goats and clame both of the and run you off the stump I am now queen


----------



## ndwarf

I tell you that your best doe has parasites you run to check on her and
I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!
bwa haha:slapfloor:
your face is like:thinking:


----------



## goatygirl

I find that you were lying and have you arrested, all your belongings now are mine
I am queen of the stump


----------



## dallaskdixie

As you are distracted having ndwarf arrested I have my cute baby goat lure you off the stump and I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!


Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


----------



## goathiker

I bring Bean up dressed in full pack gear. While you are amazed that goats can be pack animals, I sneak up behind you with a chain hoist and lift you into a pre-dug 10 foot hole...

I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP


----------



## goatygirl

dallaskdixie said:


> As you are distracted having ndwarf arrested I have my cute baby goat lure you off the stump and I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


I could see that happening


----------



## dallaskdixie

I have my amazing goat drag me out of the hole and while you have fainted I claim the stump
I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP



Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


----------



## ndwarf

This thread totally needs to be revived so........
The smell of cooking bacon lures you off the stump and I claim the stump and 
_I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!!!!!!!!_


----------



## Goat_in_Himmel

I send an army of trained termites to chew the stump into dust, beneath your feet...there is no stump any more for you to be queen of...I jump onto a new stump. I am Queen of the Stump!


----------



## COgoatLover25

I have my goat eat your stump and I the get on a new stump . I am queen of the stump!


----------



## Trickyroo

I spray paint your goats pink with purple polka dots and while your in a state of shock i claim the stump !

I Am Queen Of The Stump:laugh:


----------



## COgoatLover25

I put a candy bar 10 ft away from the stump and while you run to get it ( Cause you're obviously hungry :lol: ) I reclaim the stump

*I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP! *


----------



## Trickyroo

Yeah , a Twix bar would be divine right now , lol. 
Or Skittles , i LOVE those 
You can have the dang stump for a bag of those :laugh:


----------



## COgoatLover25

But, but...now I'm hungry :lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

You can have the Twix , but not my Skittles :greengrin:


----------



## COgoatLover25

Nope, must have skittles :lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

Nope :razz: Ok , maybe one…...


----------



## COgoatLover25

Nope, whole bag of skittles, me must have


----------



## Trickyroo

Not going to happen missy :laugh:


----------



## COgoatLover25

Fine, I'll get my own bag of skittles :snowcool:


----------



## Trickyroo

I bought a small bag of them on my way to the vets with one of my dogs and i literally inhaled it by the time i reached two traffic lights , lol , less then a mile ! You wouldn't have a chance , I'm telling you , lol.


----------



## Trickyroo

But if we had TWO bags of Skittles , then we can be friends 
Never mind the Twix , we will get TWO bags of Skittles , lol..:thumb::thumb::thumb:


----------



## COgoatLover25

:lol: I have 1 real bag and an imaginary bag , you can have the imaginary bag of skittles and we can be friends


----------



## Trickyroo

COgoatLover25 said:


> :lol: I have 1 real bag and an imaginary bag , you can have the imaginary bag of skittles and we can be friends


Thats not nice :ROFL: I unfriend you :tear:


----------



## COgoatLover25

Trickyroo said:


> Thats not nice :ROFL: I unfriend you :tear:


I know :slapfloor:


----------



## Trickyroo

COgoatLover25 said:


> I know :slapfloor:


:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: If i wasnt so tired , i would have a good comeback to 
that , lol.

To be continued&#8230;&#8230;...:laugh:


----------



## COgoatLover25

Trickyroo said:


> :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: If i wasnt so tired , i would have a good comeback to
> that , lol.
> 
> To be continued&#8230;&#8230;...:laugh:


I'm scared now :shock: :lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

COgoatLover25 said:


> I'm scared now :shock: :lol:


And so you should be Lindsey :shades::shades::shades:


----------



## COgoatLover25

Trickyroo said:


> And so you should be Lindsey :shades::shades::shades:


:lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

Nite :wave:


----------



## COgoatLover25

G'night :wave: :sleeping:
But, while you're gone....

*I'M QUEEN OF THE STUMP! :lol:*


----------



## margaret

Not anymore Lindsey dear, *I* am queen of the stump


----------



## COgoatLover25

Nope, because a bunch of obnoxious bottle babies came and chased you off.
*I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP  :shades:*


----------



## margaret

But I came back with a pot of boiling water and threw it on you and you ran off screaming.
*So now I am queen of the stump.*


----------



## COgoatLover25

I sue you and now you have to be in jail for 30 days so you can't be queen of the stump :lol:

*I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP! *


----------



## margaret

I bust out of jail and hit you over the head with an iron bar and now
*I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!*
:applaud::bday::fireworks::stars::goattruck::leap::cart::cheers::wahoo:arty:


----------



## COgoatLover25

You're mean :lol:


----------



## margaret

I know:ROFL:


----------



## COgoatLover25

I'm Queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

No remember how you got knocked unconscious?
:slapfloor:


----------



## Trickyroo

margaret said:


> no remember how you got knocked unconscious?
> :slapfloor:


She passed out from her sugar rush because she ate all the Skittles !


----------



## margaret

No, I hit her with an iron bar.


----------



## margaret

Or maybe it was both, I didn't hit her _that _hard.


----------



## Trickyroo

She must rolled at the time you swung . She was likely reaching for the bag of Skittles , lol..


----------



## margaret

No I heard the crack of the bar hitting her head.:lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

Ok , thats just nasty….


----------



## Trickyroo

Play nice !


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Well, while nobody's queen of the stump, I engrave my name into every stump in the world, and I am now, forever more, Queen of the Stump~


----------



## COgoatLover25

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> Well, while nobody's queen of the stump, I engrave my name into every stump in the world, and I am now, forever more, Queen of the Stump~


I scratched it out and now I'm Queen of the stump :shades:


----------



## margaret

OK, I'll play "nice".
i tell Lindsey that every single one of her goats has CAE and CL and she runs off in horror and I claim the stump.
:sun::window::razz::crazy::rainbow: :cake: :lol::wahoo::cart::cheers::snow: :hammer::birthday: :gift::snowbounce::goattruck::rose::stars: :leap: :fireworks::type::balloons::bday::flag: :laugh:
I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!


----------



## Trickyroo

margaret said:


> OK, I'll play "nice".
> i tell Lindsey that every single one of her goats has CAE and CL and she runs off in horror and I claim the stump.
> :sun::window::razz::crazy::rainbow: :cake: :lol::wahoo::cart::cheers::snow: :hammer::birthday: :gift::snowbounce::goattruck::rose::stars: :leap: :fireworks::type::balloons::bday::flag: :laugh:
> I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!


Somebody needs a time out !!!


----------



## COgoatLover25

I agree with Laura so now we're co-queening the stump :lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

:hi5:


----------



## COgoatLover25

:lol:


----------



## margaret

I come with a 5 gallon bucket full of Skittles and you both come running like little pigs. While you stuff your faces with candy I claim the stump.


----------



## COgoatLover25

I'm done eating skittles ( But Laura's not! :lol: ) I shove you off the stump amd now...get ready for it....*I'M QUEEN OF THE STUMP! :stars:*


----------



## margaret

I shove you off and now I'm queen of the stump!


----------



## Trickyroo

Well , i sold my stump to Margaret when she showed up with a bucket of skittles , lol..
Keep the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

I knock you out with a piece of wood then clam the stump, its my stump, I AM THE QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


----------



## Trickyroo

Goatzrule said:


> I knock you out with a piece of wood then clam the stump, its my stump, I AM THE QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


Clam up Kelsie , Im on a sugar rush , and I'm taking my rightful place being Queen of the Stump :laugh:


----------



## IvyMayPygmyGoats

I Take my super spade and dug up the stump. I pick it up with my new-found super strength and shake Emma off of it, I then place it on a tree branch and perch on it. I am not the ultimate queen on the stump xD 

You can call me Molly


----------



## Trickyroo

Well Molly , the tree branch you placed it on broke and the stump with you on top of it , came down with a splat . You were a bit shaken up so ran in to get some tea and i took over Queen of the Stump


----------



## goatlady1314

Then in the middle of the night I put a ski mask on and ran at you and u got so scared u fainted so I took u and put u on a desserted island I am not queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

I watch all of you fighting over that little stump waiting for you to realize that you got the wrong stump, but anyway I sitting here with a bag of popcorn on the real stump, so I am the queen of the stump hahahaha


----------



## COgoatLover25

I'm queen of the stump because that's just how it is :shades:


----------



## Trickyroo

COgoatLover25 said:


> I'm queen of the stump because that's just how it is :shades:


Just a tad bit delusional aren't we :laugh:


----------



## COgoatLover25

Not at all :shades: I'm still queen of the stump


----------



## Trickyroo

If you say so :thumb::laugh:


----------



## COgoatLover25

You agree with me cause I'm right :lol:


----------



## Goatzrule

But I know your both wrong and im the queen of the stump and there is nothing you can do to change that


----------



## chloes

well, while you are all fighting to become queen of the stump, I hop up and become the QUEEN!!!:laugh:


----------



## Goatzrule

I press the little red button and you go fly through the air I scream "safe travels" and take the stump I apply barb wire around me and the stump, my stump only my stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I connect the barb wire to an electrical fence box so while u r getting shocked u try and get out really quick and when u finally did u was so worn out u just fell asleep so I threw u into some sinking sad. Im queen


----------



## margaret

I'm stopping in to claim MY stump.
See you later:wave:


----------



## Trickyroo

I need more skittles….:sigh:


----------



## NubianFan

I show you Laura a video of Myra being cute and while you are oooing and ahhing I jump on the stump.

I am queen of the stump.......
for some reason.......


----------



## Trickyroo

That'll work nicely  but i still want some skittles…..:sigh:


----------



## NubianFan

Well I am a good Queen so I give my subjects skittles to eat while they watch videos of Myra.....


----------



## COgoatLover25

Here ya go...Now I am Queen of the stump :lol:


----------



## NubianFan

I call out to Lindsey "The mulefoot pig baked ham is ready" and when she comes running licking her lips, I steal the stump and the skittles.... Taste the rainbow,,,,,, I am Queen of the stump


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I banish you all from the land of Stump, because I hate skittles. I am Queen of the Stump... no skittles :lol:


----------



## NubianFan

I bring shopping carts full of skittles and telephones being pulled by nigerian dwarves and when you run in horror I steal the stump I am Queen of the stump


----------



## Trickyroo

NubianFan said:


> I call out to Lindsey "The mulefoot pig baked ham is ready" and when she comes running licking her lips, I steal the stump and the skittles.... Taste the rainbow,,,,,, I am Queen of the stump


:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: I needed that laugh :thumb:


----------



## Trickyroo

NubianFan said:


> I bring shopping carts full of skittles and telephones being pulled by nigerian dwarves and when you run in horror I steal the stump I am Queen of the stump


:scratch: :shrug:


----------



## Trickyroo

COgoatLover25 said:


> Here ya go...Now I am Queen of the stump :lol:


:thumb::thumb::thumb::thumb::thumb::thumb::thumb:

YUM


----------



## NubianFan

The shopping cart one was for Lacie


----------



## Trickyroo

NubianFan said:


> The shopping cart one was for Lacie


Ahhh , im glad , cause i had no flipping idea what the heck you were talking about , lol&#8230;..I know I'm tired , but geez , i was like , "what in the world am i missing here"&#8230;...:laugh:


----------



## NubianFan

Trickyroo said:


> Ahhh , im glad , cause i had no flipping idea what the heck you were talking about , lol&#8230;..I know I'm tired , but geez , i was like , "what in the world am i missing here"&#8230;...:laugh:


:laugh::ROFL::slapfloor:


----------



## Trickyroo

Night :-D :wave:


----------



## Cactus_Acres

The Nigies were so interested in the contents of their carts that they kept chasing their tails, and eventually circled off to the horizon. You were too busy dealing with them to notice that I had taken over the stump, with a cattle prod in hand just in case I needed it. I am the queen on the stump.


----------



## NubianFan

Cattle prod Smattle Prod... I unleash Tiny Destroyer on, you, 3 minutes, a sliced open nose, a shredded stump, 14 trampoline bounce attacks, 2 toe bites, 4 knuckle nibbles, 8 turbo laps around and around you and the stump, 6 yowling howls, 84 mini hey look at me I am a cute kitten meows, 65 paw slaps, and two big sweet kitten eyes later, you stumble away, dazed, bleeding slightly, with a mad crazy hairdo and rumpled clothes and say, what the crap was the orange blur and who needs a stupid stump anyway. And I get on what is left the the now shredded and sawdusty stump and once again I am Queen of the stump....


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Leslie, that up there was just foul play :ROFL: you're in time out! I'm Queen of the Stump


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

And you forgot the partridge in a pear tree :slapfloor: sorry but I was reading the tiny destroyer to that song :lol:


----------



## Goatzrule

Well you are so busy planning these attacks that you failed to see me walk up behind you and shove you off the stump. It is mine, it is a stump, I am the queen of it, so that means I am the queen of the stump


----------



## kc8lsk

1 bucket of ice water later your running home *I am queen of the stump*


----------



## goatlady1314

I do my comedian show an u die laughing I am queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

I scream, glass breaks, you run, I am now queen


----------



## goatlady1314

Ok im just sayin I won


----------



## Goatzrule

nope i am not moving from MY stump


----------



## goatlady1314

I pour beetles all over you and you run away disgusted. Im queen of the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

too bad beatles don't bother me and I run back to the sump and push you off, im queen


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

I come up and throw the tarantula that is in the work shop on you and while you run away yelling I become queen of the stump. I am queen of the stump! (This is the best thread ever)


----------



## Goatzrule

I dig up the stump and move it to a unknown island, I am the queen of the stump


----------



## milkmaid

I fly across the sea on my winged unicorn, which frightens you away. King of the stump!


----------



## margaret

I sneak up behind you and push you off. now I am Queen of the stump! :leap:


----------



## NubianFan

While you are repeatedly leaping into the air, I sneak up behind you and switch the stump for a pogo stick as you go bouncing off I am Queen of the stump.


----------



## COgoatLover25

:ROFL: :slapfloor:


----------



## margaret

:slapfloor: Leslie you make me laugh:lol:
I come with my chicken catching net, capture you and tie you up so you don't bother me anymore.


----------



## ndwarf

While you are doing that, I take the real stump and exchange it for a fake one (which has TNT hidden in it), put the stump someplace safe, and when you come back I blow up your stump so now you are dead and 
_*I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!*_:hi5::slapfloor:;-):wink::clap::sun::laugh::dance::bday::grin::grin::ROFL::fireworks::wahoo::lol:


----------



## COgoatLover25

I put a bucket on your head and it takes you hours to find out where everybody went :lol:
I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


----------



## margaret

Hmm, somebody's a little excited.
I sell Eucalyptus at the meat auction and you get so mad you go insane in jump into a big pit and I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!
OK, I'm leaving now.


----------



## COgoatLover25

Since you left your stump I am Queen of MY stump!


----------



## ndwarf

I tempt you with the offer of free skittles for life so you give me the stump and I am queen of the stump!!


----------



## margaret

Well I come push you off and now I am queen of "YOUR" stump


----------



## Emzi00

You guys are so violent. :lol: 
I cut down a tree and make a new stump. I am Queen of the stump.


----------



## ndwarf

I blow up your stump. I am queen of the old stump


----------



## margaret

I chop your head off and now I am queen of the stump!!


----------



## ndwarf

You realize that what you cut the head off of was a dummy and while you are in shock I hit you on the head with a shovel and claim the stump. I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!


----------



## NubianFan

Remember no killing, that was a rule at the beginning of this game.


----------



## margaret

Who made that rule?


----------



## Emzi00

margaret said:


> Who made that rule?


God did, Thou shalt not kill, sound familiar? :lol:


----------



## margaret

:lol: Yeah I know. but this is a game I like to kill in games.


----------



## kc8lsk

O.K. I cut down all the pine trees on my property then we will all be Queens of the stump.


----------



## COgoatLover25

NubianFan said:


> Remember no killing, that was a rule at the beginning of this game.





Emzi00 said:


> God did, Thou shalt not kill, sound familiar? :lol:


:lol: I agree


----------



## NubianFan

margaret said:


> Who made that rule?


A. The person who started the thread, (Sarah or littlegoalgirl) 
and
B. The mods also have enforced it in the past.

It is supposed to be more about creative thinking and less about violence and gore....


----------



## NubianFan

Oh and as Emma said, God... which should be enough said right there. LOL


----------



## COgoatLover25

I decide that its dumb being Queens of stumps so I weld a metal tree together and now I am q
Queen of the beautiful tree which you shall not cut down :lol:


----------



## NubianFan

unbeknownst to you dear Lindsey, a seed of the original tree that was cut to make the stump was dropped under your metal welded tree. It was a special seed that a unicorn had cried one tear on when the original tree was cut. So exactly 7 years, 7 months, 7 weeks, 7 days ,7 hours, 7 minutes and 7 seconds has now passed since the unicorn shed his beautiful iridescent tear. All at once the seed begins to sprout and grow and grow and grow and it up roots your metal tree and drops one enchanted stump from its massive foliage. I jump on this special stump under this massive tree. Queen of the stump once more.....


----------



## COgoatLover25

:GAAH: 
I never have liked unicorns :lol:


----------



## glndg

While you are all arguing, I casually stroll up and hand out fliers for the grand opening of a new Mooyah burger location. You are all famished and exhausted from so much fighting, so you take a break to read the fliers. Never having seen me at the stump before, you suspect nothing. You all agree to a truce and head off to find the burgers. Slightly suspicious, Jill hesitates until she sees the sale price! She grabs Dex and runs off to to load him up with burgers to resell at the beach for an enormous profit. Leslie jumps off the stump and runs faster than everyone because she is in the mood to eat mushrooms and other strange toppings on a burger. Lacie is trying to negotiate with Emma over who will get the stump when someone yells out, "Bacon! Bacon!" Lacie takes off running with Emma close behind. All follow the cleverly placed signs that lead them to a landfill. Dee shows up late, so I hand her a beer. Distracted she follows the others.

While you all are staring at the dump in a state of confusion, I set to work with my trusty stump grinder. I load up the sawdust into bags and send it to my goat shed on the backs of hundreds of homing pigeons. Then I replace the sawdust with sawdust from the local mill. I run home and spread the real sawdust out on the ground of the goat shed. When everyone gets tired of looking for the burgers you return to fight over the stump. Seeing only sawdust, you come after me. Seeing no stump, you all leave and return to the pile of decoy sawdust. Like crazed women at the panty counter at a Macy's sale, you all elbow and kick each other to grab the sawdust. You run home in different directions, each with handfuls of sawdust, put it on the ground, and stand on it, confident that you are Queens.
Meanwhile, back at the kidding stall.....I mix the sawdust with epoxy and reform the stump. 
I hop on, and I am Queen of the Stump!


----------



## COgoatLover25

:slapfloor:


----------



## Emzi00

Vicki, you just described us all perfectly. :lol: You can have the stump.


----------



## Sylvie

I can't think of an answer to that I'm laughing too hard :ROFL::ROFL:


----------



## NubianFan

400 miles away the unicorn pricks his ear, he sees in a vision what has taken place. The unicorn is truly angered at this second destruction so he gallops as hard and as fast as he can to the massive tree. He licks and licks and licks around the circumference of one of the lower limbs of the tree, his magical saliva makes the limb grow and grow stretching onward across many miles until it gets to your goat shed. It reachs out like a tentacle picks up you and the epoxy sawdust stump and brings you back under it's canopy. It then shakes you off the stump into a fresh pile of unicorn apples, and you grow freckles all over that look like sawdust. These will last for two weeks. In the meantime the tree sticks a magical leaf into the epoxy sawdust stump and reforms it into it's original stumpness, and the unicorn places a tiny pixie on it to guard it. Tiny destroyer, thinks the pixie would be good to play with and runs toward her with me chasing her thinking she is after a butterfly or grasshopper. I notice the stump and stand on it, to get a better view of the chase. Queen of the stump once more.


----------



## glndg

Emzi00 said:


> Vicki, you just described us all perfectly. :lol: You can have the stump.


Thanks!

........but I know it's only temporary!


----------



## glndg

A look of recognition slowly crosses the face of the unicorn. She suddenly recognizes me from an Art Happening "unicorn hunt" in kindly celebration of unicorns at a lake long ago. She rushes to me and we embrace. She carefully nudges Leslie off the stump and guides me to it. I stand on the stump, and humbly bow to the unicorn.

And I am Queen of the Stump!


----------



## NubianFan

The tiny pixie is so torqued off at the unicorn for almost making her Tiny Destroyer food she flies over and sprinkles sleeping powder on both Vicki and the Unicorn who both fall fast asleep. The Mistress fox slyly comes out of the wood and chuckles her hissing fox chuckle. She loves to play tricks anytime she can. So recognizing the Unicorn and Vicki are essentially drugged into a sleep stupor she talks in a monotone voice in their ear convincing Vicki to get on the unicorn's back and convincing the unicorn to sleep walk. The unicorn walks slowly and steadily away with Vicki on his back, both of them fast asleep. I stumble out again still trying to find Tiny Destroyer and trip over a stump. I sigh and sit down on the stump and rub my foot, queen of the stump again.


----------



## glndg

The unicorn walks for a long distance with me still sleeping soundly on her back. I suddenly awake and realize that I must get to the hardware store! Forgetting all about the stump, I rush off to buy a paint roller, leaving others to fight over the stump.


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I watch the unicorn run to the hardware store and I jump on the stump. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## margaret

glndg said:


> While you are all arguing, I casually stroll up and hand out fliers for the grand opening of a new Mooyah burger location. You are all famished and exhausted from so much fighting, so you take a break to read the fliers. Never having seen me at the stump before, you suspect nothing. You all agree to a truce and head off to find the burgers. Slightly suspicious, Jill hesitates until she sees the sale price! She grabs Dex and runs off to to load him up with burgers to resell at the beach for an enormous profit. Leslie jumps off the stump and runs faster than everyone because she is in the mood to eat mushrooms and other strange toppings on a burger. Lacie is trying to negotiate with Emma over who will get the stump when someone yells out, "Bacon! Bacon!" Lacie takes off running with Emma close behind. All follow the cleverly placed signs that lead them to a landfill. Dee shows up late, so I hand her a beer. Distracted she follows the others.
> 
> While you all are staring at the dump in a state of confusion, I set to work with my trusty stump grinder. I load up the sawdust into bags and send it to my goat shed on the backs of hundreds of homing pigeons. Then I replace the sawdust with sawdust from the local mill. I run home and spread the real sawdust out on the ground of the goat shed. When everyone gets tired of looking for the burgers you return to fight over the stump. Seeing only sawdust, you come after me. Seeing no stump, you all leave and return to the pile of decoy sawdust. Like crazed women at the panty counter at a Macy's sale, you all elbow and kick each other to grab the sawdust. You run home in different directions, each with handfuls of sawdust, put it on the ground, and stand on it, confident that you are Queens.
> Meanwhile, back at the kidding stall.....I mix the sawdust with epoxy and reform the stump.
> I hop on, and I am Queen of the Stump!


:slapfloor: :ROFL: :lol:


----------



## margaret

You can have the freakin' stump Vicki:lol:I 'bout died laughing........


----------



## glndg

margaret said:


> You can have the freakin' stump Vicki:lol:I 'bout died laughing........


What stump?! (The pixie dust is still at work.) You won't want the stump because there are lots of things to try to kill at the landfill. Needless to say, you won't be able to catch any of them, so you won't break any rules.

Anyway.......Autumn is Queen of the Stump!


----------



## goatygirl

I See the commotion going on. I use my magical powers to cast you all into a deep sleep. As you dream of goats and all that dreamy stuff, I steal the stump and run off to the woods where there are many other stump] look alikes BUT they are not _THE_ stump there for when you wake up you must play goldilocks until you find the correct stump. meanwhile I am the Queen of the stump.


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I grr after feeding the lovely goats. I go it to the forests and jump on every stump until I find the one. I am the Queen once again!!


----------



## NubianFan

The stump opens up and you fall into an underground world ran mostly by the mole king. While blind the Mole king is incredibly perceptive and immediately figures out you are their long lost apostle Autumnus Auspicious. He gives you a rosary made of roots and a staff made of a carrot, and takes you to the mole temple. Believe it or not all that takes a lonnnnngggg while. In the meantime I am still running around trying to find Tiny Destroyer. Exhausted I sit on the first stump I find to think. Once again I am queen of the stump.


----------



## glndg

Mistress Fox has been secretly watching the events as they transpire. Never one to miss an opportunity, she sneaks up behind Leslie and begins to sing "What Does the Fox Say?" Horrified, Leslie clamps her hands over her ears. Realizing too late the mistake of writing a fox into the story she runs, screaming, as far away and as fast as she can. Tiny Destroyer, enchanted by the singing, creeps up and joins the fox in a duet. They amble off into the woods singing as they go. Asleep again, but holding a brand new paint roller, I stumble up to the stump, lie down across it and begin to snore. 

And I am Queen of the Stump! Shhhhhh!


----------



## NubianFan

There is a flaw in your plan I love the song "what does the fox say" I would never run away horrified. I only used it against another earlier in the game because it annoyed them. 
But you can have the stump for now anyway. I am about to be snoring myself and prefer a nice inner coil mattress to a stump..... call me crazy and all but hey?:shrug:


----------



## glndg

My bad. You come running back, catch up to tiny Destroyer and the Fox and invite the fox to your house for the night. You all climb onto your bed and fall asleep. It is a one dog, one cat night.


----------



## NubianFan

:slapfloor: that it is~


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I run back, with the blind moles on my side. As we dig around the stump, the sleeping person rolls off of it. The stump falls though, and using tunnels, we moved into a island in the middle of now where. I sit on the stump, happily enjoying the lovely view. I am the queen of the Stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

Its my birthday so I'm the queen of the stump


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

I push Kelsie off and I gain back the stump. I am now the sweet queen of the stump


----------



## goatygirl

It is my birthday so you give me the stump as a birthday present. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## margaret

I need an early Christmas present so you give me the stump as a gift. I am queen once more!


----------



## Goatzrule

yeah nope Im the queen


----------



## margaret

I tempt you away with a pretty horsie and you are so excited you forget all about the stump


----------



## Goatzrule

ok you win I get pretty horsie


----------



## margaret

Yay! :stars: I don't even want a pretty horsie
I like my goats better


----------



## HappyCaliGoats

glndg said:


> While you are all arguing, I casually stroll up and hand out fliers for the grand opening of a new Mooyah burger location. You are all famished and exhausted from so much fighting, so you take a break to read the fliers. Never having seen me at the stump before, you suspect nothing. You all agree to a truce and head off to find the burgers. Slightly suspicious, Jill hesitates until she sees the sale price! She grabs Dex and runs off to to load him up with burgers to resell at the beach for an enormous profit. Leslie jumps off the stump and runs faster than everyone because she is in the mood to eat mushrooms and other strange toppings on a burger. Lacie is trying to negotiate with Emma over who will get the stump when someone yells out, "Bacon! Bacon!" Lacie takes off running with Emma close behind. All follow the cleverly placed signs that lead them to a landfill. Dee shows up late, so I hand her a beer. Distracted she follows the others.
> 
> While you all are staring at the dump in a state of confusion, I set to work with my trusty stump grinder. I load up the sawdust into bags and send it to my goat shed on the backs of hundreds of homing pigeons. Then I replace the sawdust with sawdust from the local mill. I run home and spread the real sawdust out on the ground of the goat shed. When everyone gets tired of looking for the burgers you return to fight over the stump. Seeing only sawdust, you come after me. Seeing no stump, you all leave and return to the pile of decoy sawdust. Like crazed women at the panty counter at a Macy's sale, you all elbow and kick each other to grab the sawdust. You run home in different directions, each with handfuls of sawdust, put it on the ground, and stand on it, confident that you are Queens.
> Meanwhile, back at the kidding stall.....I mix the sawdust with epoxy and reform the stump.
> I hop on, and I am Queen of the Stump!


Hahahahaha! :ROFL: :lol: that's great Vicki!

So I put a gorgeous alpine doe on a hill in the distance and Margaret slowly slinks off hoping nobody will notice her going to claim the beautiful doe. I quietly sneak behind her and sit on the stump to enjoy my beer. Thanx Vicky, I'm queen of the stump!

Newbie to Nubian dairy goats! 3 Nubian does, 1 Nubian buck, 1 Pygmy doe, and 1 alpine/ guernsey wether! Plus the rest of the farm pets which would take the whole page to list  
~Dee

Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


----------



## glndg

Hope you had happy birthdays, Olivia and Kelsie! (It's still your birthday where I am.) :cake:


----------



## Goatzrule

Thank you! I get the stump, Im queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

HappyCaliGoats said:


> Hahahahaha! :ROFL: :lol: that's great Vicki!
> 
> So I put a gorgeous alpine doe on a hill in the distance and Margaret slowly slinks off hoping nobody will notice her going to claim the beautiful doe. I quietly sneak behind her and sit on the stump to enjoy my beer. Thanx Vicky, I'm queen of the stump!
> 
> Newbie to Nubian dairy goats! 3 Nubian does, 1 Nubian buck, 1 Pygmy doe, and 1 alpine/ guernsey wether! Plus the rest of the farm pets which would take the whole page to list
> ~Dee
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


I sneak up very quietly behind you and steal your beer.You never notice me and go crazy trying to find your beer then I give you a little push and you run off twirling in circles going mad because you can't find your beer. Meanwhile I claim the stump and since I'm not allowed to drink beer I give it to my goats. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## Greybird

I wander by this thread and stop to watch in amazement, trying to figure out the appeal of that tiny little stump.
I then return to the magnificent, old-growth cedar stump in my back yard, brush away the debris, and (since it's well over 15 feet across) I use Tardis technology to build a 2-story cabin complete with dozens of guest accommodations and all the comforts of a luxury home.

I hang up a welcome sign, chill the drinks, fire up the grill, and invite everybody to come and stay for as long as they like.
Whoever sits on the throne (in the _bathroom_!) can be queen, but the real party's happening out on the deck!


----------



## Goatzrule

theat ^ is the funniest thing I have heard all day


----------



## Greybird

Plz tell me I did NOT kill this thread .... !
(I have a knack for doing that.)


*hangs a "Room for Rent" sign on the stump-cabin*


----------



## kc8lsk

Greybird said:


> Plz tell me I did NOT kill this thread .... !
> (I have a knack for doing that.)
> 
> *hangs a "Room for Rent" sign on the stump-cabin*


No you didn't kill this thread they let it rest for a while sometimes So I guess I'll be queen of the stump for a while


----------



## margaret

Sorry I think I'll take it now


----------



## Trickyroo

Greybird said:


> Plz tell me I did NOT kill this thread .... !
> (I have a knack for doing that.)
> 
> *hangs a "Room for Rent" sign on the stump-cabin*


Nahhh , i was letting you get comfortable so i can take you by surprise 
I am queen of the stump :clap:


----------



## Goatzrule

Surprise attack? Thats so yesterday. I use my new bulldozer to scare you off the stump, im the queen of the stump


----------



## glndg

Greybird said:


> Plz tell me I did NOT kill this thread .... !
> (I have a knack for doing that.)
> 
> *hangs a "Room for Rent" sign on the stump-cabin*


No, no, not at all-- you didn't kill the kill the thread. I was just sitting on this...ahem....throne after having too many of your chilled drinks. Thank you BTW! Very nice party! When I came into this tiny, er, room, I noticed a big screen tv and I have been watching Dr. Who! ;-)

I am Queen!


----------



## NubianFan

I rolled out a vast tablecloth and then roll out a ton os homemade meatballs and place several big bowls of different pasta and various sauces And yell "hey let's have a meatball party" when everyone comes running I steal the stump Queen of the stump again....
wait this is just what I am having for dinner....


----------



## Trickyroo

After everyone chows down on your delicious meatballs and pastas , i yell food fight and when everyone has sauce in their eyes , i claim the stump ! Queen of the Stump once again :clap:


----------



## COgoatLover25

A young child drops a bag almost full of skittles, Laura runs to retrieve the bag from the ground, while she is gone I , with my United Caprine news magazine look for a place to sit and read my magazine, coming across the stump I sit down to read....I am queen of the stump


----------



## Trickyroo

That works for me  :clap:


----------



## HappyCaliGoats

I tied a large Hoanbu buck to a tree near by. Lindsey runs home to quickly get moon to breed to him! Meanwhile, I am queen of the stump 


Newbie to Nubian dairy goats! 3 Nubian does, 1 Nubian buck, 1 Pygmy doe, and 1 alpine/ guernsey wether! Plus the rest of the farm pets which would take the whole page to list  
~Dee

Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


----------



## COgoatLover25

HappyCaliGoats said:


> I tied a large Hoanbu buck to a tree near by. Lindsey runs home to quickly get moon to breed to him! Meanwhile, I am queen of the stump
> 
> Newbie to Nubian dairy goats! 3 Nubian does, 1 Nubian buck, 1 Pygmy doe, and 1 alpine/ guernsey wether! Plus the rest of the farm pets which would take the whole page to list
> ~Dee
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


Works for me ! :lol:


----------



## margaret

I thought moon was already bred?


----------



## COgoatLover25

She is...hmmmmm, I'll just have to steal him for next year then :lol:


----------



## margaret

:lol:


----------



## margaret

You could give him to me. I plan to get Nubians soon.


----------



## COgoatLover25

Nope, :lol: you could just make a trip to breed your doe to him


----------



## margaret

Hmmm, across the US?
I don't think so:lol:


----------



## COgoatLover25

And visit me ...see, perfect plan! :lol:


----------



## margaret

:lol:
Except you don't _really_ have a Hoanbu buck:lol:
I should still come see you though. i could bring you an Alpine kid as apresent.


----------



## margaret

I really like Hoanbu's goats.


----------



## COgoatLover25

We're hijacking this thread :ROFL:


----------



## margaret

I was kind of just realizing that:ROFL:
I'm good at that:lol:


----------



## Goatzrule

while you too get so busy talking I push you of the stump and sit on it. I am the queen of the stump


----------



## Trickyroo

You go Kelsie :clap:


----------



## NubianFan

why walking through the forest one day I sneeze trip over a molehill, stumble sideways and fall into Kelsie, who yells "Hey watch it germy" and runs away. I am sitting on a stump now and I don't know why. Queen or not it is just a stump......


----------



## Trickyroo

And while you are wondering why your are there , i yell "land shark" and you run in horror and i am queen of the stump , again


----------



## HappyCaliGoats

I don't like to fight so I politely ask Laura if I could sit next to her. What's the point in being queen if you have no friends?  Laura and I sit on the stump for may hours sharing stories and laughing!


Newbie to Nubian dairy goats! 3 Nubian does, 1 Nubian buck, 1 Pygmy doe, and 1 alpine/ guernsey wether! Plus the rest of the farm pets which would take the whole page to list  
~Dee

Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


----------



## Goatzrule

Then I come along and sit on you


----------



## margaret

I come very gently push you all off. Now I am queen!


----------



## glndg

Who are you, and what did you do with Margaret!?:greengrin:

I send you off to the doctor and I am Queen of the Stump!


----------



## margaret

:ROFL:
I didn't want to get in trouble for violence:lol:


----------



## Greybird

Using the Tardis technology which is part of my stump-cabin, I fly and re-materialize over all of you, pointing out that there is still a LOT of food and drinks left and I can't eat all of this stuff by myself.
(I tried to finish the wine - really I did! - but ultimately I failed, and ... erm ... that might explain why it's taken me a while to wake up and figure out where you all went.)
I'm in recovery mode, now. Lots of hot spiced cider and tea, plus I'm getting the espresso bar set up in a few minutes.
Any special orders?


----------



## Trickyroo

margaret said:


> :ROFL:
> I didn't want to get in trouble for violence:lol:


Im watching you Margaret...:coffee2:


----------



## margaret

:lol:


----------



## glndg

Greybird said:


> I'm in recovery mode, now. Lots of hot spiced cider and tea, plus I'm getting the espresso bar set up in a few minutes.
> Any special orders?


I'd love a mocha with a splash of goat's milk and a little whipped cream! Thanks.


----------



## Goatzrule

peppermint tea please or Pumpkin spice


----------



## glndg

Oh, no! We fell for it! While we were placing orders, look at what Nancy did!!!

She's Queen of the Stump!


----------



## kc8lsk

I'll take a cupachino with goat's milk and hershey's special dark chocolate


----------



## kc8lsk

Oops already drinking one. Oh well another one would taste good.


----------



## Trickyroo

How bout a chamomile tea with a shot of Jagermeister…….:coffee2:


----------



## Goatzrule

this thread turned into a bed and breakfast


----------



## HappyCaliGoats

Trickyroo said:


> How bout a chamomile tea with a shot of Jagermeister&#8230;&#8230;.:coffee2:


Hahaha! I have never herd that one before!

Can I have some kind of Caramel flavored coffee plz 

Newbie to Nubian dairy goats! 3 Nubian does, 1 Nubian buck, 1 Pygmy doe, and 1 alpine/ guernsey wether! Plus the rest of the farm pets which would take the whole page to list  
~Dee

Sent from my iPad using Goat Forum


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

While everyone was talking about breakfast, I use the very quiet chainsaw and cut the stump. " This is to easy," I whisper to my boer buck,Sam. He baa almost to loudly. "Shhh!"

I put the stump on Sam's back, with me helping, and I go to the deepest lake in the world. I swim, along with Sam to a large island and went deeply into the woods. After digging a small hole, I place the stump in it and I sit on the stump while Sam grazes. I am the Queen of The Stump


----------



## NubianFan

Goatzrule said:


> this thread turned into a bed and breakfast


:clap: :ROFL: :slapfloor:

I am not sure why but this made me laugh out loud literally.


----------



## NubianFan

While I am giddily leaping for joy I accidentally land on top of your head, while you are sitting on top of the stump, Queen of the Stump again....


----------



## Trickyroo

And while you were leaping for joy i pulled the stump right out from underneath you and now i am queen of the stump


----------



## ndwarf

While you are bragging about your triumph, I quietly slip up behind you and take the real stump, putting a fake one in it's place. I then bring the real one with me to my secret island resort near Hawaii (although I will never reveal it's location, I will tell you it is epic) I use it make a throne with the stump as the base to hide it from invaders (a.k.a Meg). Then I go back to the fake stump and quietly tell Laura (who thinks she is queen of the stump) that someone just came back with a 50 pound bag of jellybeans. She runs off and I pretend to be queen of the stump. Then Leslie, Dee, and Kelsie come and are about to take the stump when I tell them that Nancy came back with their coffees and they sprint off to get the coffee. I see Meg coming and hide, turning a hologram of myself on the stump as I go. She cuts off the head of my hologram and thinks she is queen of the stump, but when she leaves to milk Vicki comes, makes up a funny reason why she should have the "stump" and steals the "Stump". I leave her there, heading back to my island resort, and live there contentedly with my stump and my goats for the rest of my life


----------



## cowgirlboergoats

While nfawarf tells everyone to go get the jelly beans, I follow her to the stump. As she dances with her pet goats, I quickly snatch up the stump. I am glad that know one remembers me. I take the stump to my place and I sit on, never moving. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## ndwarf

The problem: The stump is now a throne. SO you realized that the stump you took was just regular old stump and in the meantime I surround the stump in Iron, still keeping it part of the throne, and weld in to the ground. There is now nothing you can do except blow it up, which would destroy the stump in the process. I am FOREVER queen of the stump!!


----------



## Trickyroo

Nice story  But unfortunately the lava flow from Mt. Udders took out your throne …….Fortunately , in your haste to steal the stump , you took its twin and left the real stump behind. So , that means that cowgirlnoergoats has the real stump. She is queen of the stump , yet


----------



## margaret

I blow up the stump, cut down a tree and make a new stump. I am queen of the stump!


----------



## Trickyroo

But now there are two stumps, there can only be one….:laugh:


----------



## ndwarf

margaret said:


> I blow up the stump, cut down a tree and make a new stump. I am queen of the stump!


Woh wait a sec, nobody died? Where is Meg? Did Henry (Meg's twin) hijack this account?


----------



## Greybird

I finally come staggering back, carrying a giant tray filled with everybody's drink orders. 'Hope I got them all right!
My next task is to get the darned splinters out of my rump! 
I don't want to sit on that stump any more. Ouch ouch ouch!

I'm ready for some buttery soft upholstery and a nice recliner, but I'll leave the light on in "the throne room" LOL! 
I'm flying around from place to place, but if you happen to see the cabin stump feel free to drop by any time.


----------



## COgoatLover25

While you all are partying, I sneak in and grab the stump and plant it in my goat pen  I sand it until it's smooth, and I get to watch my goats and be Queen of the stump!


----------



## ndwarf

I secretly put a rusty spike on the stump and you sit on it, jump up screaming and rubbing your backside, and run away to the doctor for a tetanus shot. I remove the spike and I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!!!


----------



## margaret

I come up and pull the stump out from under you. You jump up yelling about me trying to kidnap what you have rightfully stolen. I challenge you to a battle of wits.I win,you die and I am queen of the stump.


----------



## COgoatLover25

I am at the site of the crime and call security, they arrest Margaret and take her to court, I am now Queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

What crime?


----------



## COgoatLover25

You killed Georgia :lol:


----------



## margaret

Well she drank iocane powder:lol:


----------



## COgoatLover25

I'm still queen of the stump :lol:


----------



## margaret

I come tell you that Moon broke a leg and you run off screaming only to find out it was a joke.


----------



## Trickyroo

Ok , someones not playing nice and needs a time out……….


----------



## ndwarf

Haha amazing job bringing that movie (BEST MOVIE EVER) into this game Meg!! And Lindsey and Laura, don't worry, she has killed me many worse ways than that before :lol:

To business, I tell Meg that Cora (Meg's little sister) ate all the candy that Meg got for her birthday (just like she did last year :slapfloor and Meg runs to find out if this is true and I am queen of the stump


----------



## COgoatLover25

I tell Georgia that there is a beautiful Arabian horse  in her house, while she runs off to find out if its true, I take my book out of my back pocket and sit down on the stump to read my book...I am queen of the stump


----------



## ndwarf

Hmmm, not sure if my parents would like it IN the house, but if it is AT my house, you can have the stump for all I care!!


----------



## Goatzrule

I sit on thee stump


----------



## margaret

ndwarf said:


> Hmmm, not sure if my parents would like it IN the house, but if it is AT my house, you can have the stump for all I care!!


And WHERE would you keep a horse?


----------



## margaret

Trickyroo said:


> Ok , someones not playing nice and needs a time out&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.


Laura is getting too old to play with the young people and I am very concerned about her as she is easily excited and has regular fits of rage and yells about stumps and playing nicely and time outs and Skittles.
I hold up a coupon for a FREE lifetime supply of Skittles.







Laura jumps up yelling with delight. I tell her she can't just take it from me, we have to trade.
"Oh what must I give you to get it?!?!?" Laura asks.

"Offer me money", I say.

"Yes", she yells.

"Power, too, promise me that"

"All that I have and more", Laura says.

"Offer me anything I ask for, I say"

"Anything you want" she replies.

"I want my stump back!"
Laura falls over in a faint.
I pour a little water over her head and she sits up spluttering.
Are you OK, I ask?
Oh yes I'm fine she answers, I just want SKITTLES.
I hand her the coupon and she runs off delighted with her treasure.

Everyone else runs off to see what Laura is yelling about and I am queen of the stump


----------



## ndwarf

margaret said:


> And WHERE would you keep a horse?


Britton's house of course!!


----------



## ndwarf

I gently whack you on the head hard enough to knock you out and I am queen of the stump


----------



## glndg

Hmmm.....Margaret must have a very sensitive head if you whacked her "gently"! :lol:


----------



## glndg

Feeling guilty for sending all you hungry people off on a wild goose chase for burgers, I decide to bring you some food to go along with the drinks provided by Nancy. While you are busy unwrapping and eating the fresh ricotta "Leaf-Wrapped Cheese Gems," I notice that in the excitement, the stump is left unattended. I sit down on it to enjoy my food and drink, and what do you know!? 

I am Queen of the Stump!


----------



## NubianFan

That looks yum... you can have the stump


----------



## ndwarf

You realized that the leaves used for your cheese were the wrong ones and that those were poison ivy and you run off itching to the doctor because you ate that stuff and I am queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

i come up with a big jar of Peanut butter and wave it in front of your nose. You begin to look rather pale and sick and when I put a spoonful into your mouth you pass out. i am queen of the stump.


----------



## ndwarf

I use my awesome debating skills to convince you that you don't even want the stump and that you want to give me the stump. I am queen of the stump!!


----------



## ndwarf

I'm still queen  :greengrin:


----------



## COgoatLover25

You fell asleep and I made a fake stump and put you on it. I the brought the real stump to my house , I am queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

I come visit Lindsey. She is so excited to see me that she doesn't even notice that I sneak the stump into my suitcase. I take it home with me and I am queen of the stump!


----------



## NubianFan

The stump in Margaret's suitcase turns out to be a decoy stump I slyly sculpted out of limburger cheese, after the enormous stench runs the whole family out of the house Margeret finally realizes she has been duped. In the meantime I am happily sitting on the real stump eating my curds and whey..... Queen of the stump


----------



## Trickyroo

nubianfan said:


> the stump in margaret's suitcase turns out to be a decoy stump i slyly sculpted out of limburger cheese, after the enormous stench runs the whole family out of the house margeret finally realizes she has been duped. In the meantime i am happily sitting on the real stump eating my curds and whey..... Queen of the stump


Too funny , :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL:


----------



## ndwarf

I tell you that unless you give me the stump, I will tell people that you are part of the secret-beer group, and you slink off quietly and I am queen of the stump


----------



## NubianFan

ndwarf said:


> I tell you that unless you give me the stump, I will tell people that you are part of the secret-beer group, and you slink off quietly and I am queen of the stump


:lol: well played young grasshopper, well played... ;-)


----------



## margaret

I threaten to take away your ownership of the Nigerians if you don't hand over the stump so you reluctantly turn it over to me and go join the secret beer group hoping to find some friends there.


----------



## ndwarf

margaret said:


> I threaten to take away your ownership of the Nigerians if you don't hand over the stump so you reluctantly turn it over to me and go join the secret beer group hoping to find some friends there.


I remind you that you can't do that, according to the contract YOU signed, and faced with this, you sneak off. I am queen of the stump!


----------



## margaret

I write up a paper saying you agree to give them up and forge your signature. Then you get so mad you decide not to be my friend anymore and run off yelling of your lungs about how bad I am.


----------



## ndwarf

I call the police and they arrest you for forgery and send you to jail for 3 years
I am queen of the stump


----------



## margaret

I break out of jail and come back to find you having a party celebrating the fact that you won't have to see me for 3 years. I drop one of my knives on the ground and you see it and come over to inspect it. You can't figure out how it got there if I'm in jail and while you're trying to make your little brain start up I steal the stump.


----------



## NubianFan

I ground you both and take the stump...


----------



## ndwarf

I stick my nose in the air at you and tell you that you are not my mom, so you can't ground me, you are so shocked at my disrespect that you just stand there as I push you off the stump.
I am queen of the stump!!


----------



## NubianFan

But I am your mama..... too bad, the stump is mine.


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

You who stole the stump were put in goat jail and those of you who hadn't stolen it were takin to court to be questioned. 
I'm the Queen of the Stump!


----------



## Trickyroo

AintGotNoCreekRanch said:


> You who stole the stump were put in goat jail and those of you who hadn't stolen it were takin to court to be questioned.
> I'm the Queen of the Stump!


Ha Ha , book em danno ! :thumb: :shades:


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I will just like I did these two


----------



## Trickyroo

Awwww , I'm coming with bail money !!


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I'll lock you up with them
(they are spoiled rotten though)


----------



## Trickyroo

AintGotNoCreekRanch said:


> I'll lock you up with them
> (they are spoiled rotten though)


Someone should :crazy::ROFL: 
I bet they are :grin: They sure are adorable


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

Yeah I gotta love the little Brats


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

I set fire to the rain and watch everyone burn as I claim the stump from the roaring inferno that used to be all you goat lovers. Burn! BURN! While I laugh and play my fiddle from my perch upon the stump. I.. Am QUEEN (smaug voice) of the stump


Goat chick


----------



## nuk_nuk_that_goat

I have fireproof armor on and I headbutt you off the stump with my goat. Witch also has fireproof armor on. Now I'm queen of the stump!!!!


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Witch? She is a witch! I scream, and the bad grammar police come and carry you away, and I, once more, claim the stump, shouting my victory to the countryside. 


Goat chick


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

My awesomeness pushes you off the stump and into the ocean which after you are all in I freeze into solid Ice. While you scream for help I laugh and make it rain dragons. (because dragons are awesome, like me!)


----------



## margaret

I come up to the stump and sit down and talk to you. I talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and............ eventually it drives you mad(I'm good at that:lol and you run off and leave the stump to me.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

When the witch was driven mad the lake froze, so pull myself out and pause on the hill, my golden mane flowing in the warm summer wind. Then I draw ,y gleaming weapon, the roll of duct tape, and proceed to tape up the previous tricky stump owner and I claim the stump as my own. Victory is mine. 


Goat chick


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

I am queen of the stump, and I brought captain America, so if you want the stump you'll have to fight him for it


Goat chick


----------



## littlegoatgirl

Wow! I can't believe my thread has been so successful! I haven't checked this one in ages and... Wow :lol: 

I bring Iron Man who takes Captain America away for some schwarma, leave you alone on the stump. Ozzie (my goat) headbutts you off and I claim the stump. I am queen of the stump!


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

But your goat was just angry because he was hungry, so I give ozzie some nice hay and a carrot and he goes and headbutts you off the stump. I then tape you and your goat together. I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


Goat chick


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I make you sit through the whole high school musical series :boo: and you finally had been tortured enough so you run to your panic room while hyperventilating.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Aha, but I am a brave soul, not one to shrink from terrible movies. I only pretended to run away hyperventilating so that I could scramble the television and put on princess bride. You are so absorbed, you don't notice when push you off and take the stump as my own. 


Goat chick


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

You start watching a butterfly when I tell you to look at my flower and I push a button to make it spray you with water. While you wipe off your face you see I have tie you to a tree and taken over the stump


----------



## COgoatLover25

While you are sitting on the stump, a butterfly , well, flys by and you mindlessly go off, following the butterfly into a 10 ft glass pit that you cannot get out of . You are trapped , and everyone else is watching the princess bride so, I , in turn cannot leave the stump unattended so I sit down on the stump with my magazine. I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## margaret

I project an image of a beautiful Nubian doe 100 yards away.
You glance up and see it and it looks so real you get up and run over to it.
I happily sit down on MY stump and you sit down and cry in disappointment.


----------



## COgoatLover25

Then in my fit of anger, realizing the image isn't real, I give you a puppy…you, playing with the puppy wander off into the woods, where you are held captive by a bear in the cave. The bear lets the puppy go, and the puppy returns to me, while I sit on the stump and snuggle with this adorable puppy I am queen of the stump :lol:


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

In my rage at being tied to a tree I utter a Great War cry to the battle hardened butterflies of the north, who flock to my aid. The gnaw off the ropes and I watch triumphantly as they devour the lot of you with their razor sharp antennae. I walk to the stump and the butterflies salute my fierce beauty by lifting me gently to the top of the stump. I grant them land and wealth as the new leader of stumpdom, and they serve me for the rest of their days, forming a rainbow of capable and deadly subjects. 


Goat chick


----------



## margaret

COgoatLover25 said:


> Then in my fit of anger, realizing the image isn't real, I give you a puppy&#8230;you, playing with the puppy wander off into the woods, where you are held captive by a bear in the cave. The bear lets the puppy go, and the puppy returns to me, while I sit on the stump and snuggle with this adorable puppy I am queen of the stump :lol:


That won't work.................I don't like puppies:lol:
Although our LGD _was_ pretty cute as a puppy


----------



## COgoatLover25

margaret said:


> That won't work.................I don't like puppies:lol:
> Although our LGD _was_ pretty cute as a puppy
> View attachment 85620
> 
> 
> View attachment 85621


Ah, but this puppy had a spell on it, even you couldn't dislike it  :lol:


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I put mirrors up near the stump and all of u sit in fake stumps while I sit in the real stump and laugh. Y'all cannot move I'm using the force


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

But I am imbued with the dark side of the force, so I cut off your arm, and claim the stump as mine


Goat chick


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

R2D2 runs u all over and I claim the stump as mine.


----------



## goatygirl

margaret said:


> That won't work.................I don't like puppies:lol:
> Although our LGD _was_ pretty cute as a puppy
> View attachment 85620
> 
> 
> View attachment 85621


He's so big. What breed?


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Not liking puppies... Inconceivable 


Goat chick


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

The stump is still mine. R2D2 has locked you up by now and you are awaiting your death by yoda..........
Better think fast to get out of this one
Muuuahhaaaaaahaaaahaahaaaaaaaa


----------



## glndg

AintGotNoCreekRanch said:


> The stump is still mine. R2D2 has locked you up by now and you are awaiting your death by yoda..........
> Better think fast to get out of this one
> Muuuahhaaaaaahaaaahaahaaaaaaaa


She's safe. No killing allowed in this game. :grin:


----------



## margaret

No killing..............oh, yeah, that rule again.


----------



## margaret

goatygirl said:


> He's so big. What breed?


Great pyrenees.
He's a LOT bigger now


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

R2d2, however was simply under your spell, and I talk him into freeing me. In my anger I uproot the stump and burn it down. Then I paint a stump, to fool you guys, and begin to cut a new one


Goat chick


----------



## margaret

I blast all of you with freezing water, you run away soaked and cold and I claim the stump.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Ha what stump? That's the painting! Timber! I yell, as the tree I just cut falls on you, and I laugh really hard, while sitting on the good smelling freshly cut tree


Goat chick


----------



## margaret

gracethegoatgirl said:


> Ha what stump?
> 
> Goat chick


The sump you cut
I'm still queen:lol:


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Oh pshaw, you do not understand. Since you are clearly a clueless blahblahblah, I lock you up in an insane asylum, and take back the stump. 


Goat chick


----------



## margaret

NO I DO understand, Are you having a hard time honey?
I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand.
You cut a new stump. I blasted you with freezing cold water. You ran off screaming. I claim the stump that you thoughtfully left behind.
:ROFL:


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

No no sweetheart, the stump hadn't actually finished being cut, so you would've been sitting on like bark shavings. You know people like this just shouldn't be released on the world, all these crazy goat people. Oh wait - what? I AM ONE!


Goat chick


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

This has become a war of two, where's everyone else?


Goat chick


----------



## margaret

No, I waited till you finished cutting it down.
I don't know, where did everyone go?


----------



## goatygirl

I take it while you two are distracted by your bickering. I lock it up in an super secret location that only me and my goats know about. It is also guarded by the great Bugsy. No one will pass the great Bugsy.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Well fine, but I, singing the mission impossible theme, seduce you with rainbow sparkle unicorn cupcake monsters, and you tell me where it is, where I claim it as mine. 


Goat chick


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Bugsy was really intimidated by my awesome singing skills and let me pass


Goat chick


----------



## goatygirl

I go to the police and get a warrant for your arrest. Once they lock you up my stump insurance company pays to have the stump replaced not only do I get a new stump, I get several new stumps now you will never know which stump is the real stump. I am the Queen of my stump


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

It doesn't even matter, because I, singing the mission impossible theme, escape from the police, and use my unique set of skills, including skydiving, rare mole anatomy, and sidewalk chalk chemistry, to find and recover the original stump, which in the old days of the thread, was noble and fair. I also win the prize for longest sentence ever. I set it up, and, sweating, dirty and scratched from an unfortunate experience with said rare cave moles, claim it as mine. 

I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!!!


Goat chick


----------



## COgoatLover25

Ah, but the mole are on my side, and they bring a legion of alligators and flamingos to capture you and put you in a prison that you cannot get out of :lol: I then tear up your award and sit on the stump with my guardian owls around me so that you may not interfere with my Queenship! I am queen of the stump!
:lol:
I have such a bad imagination :lol:


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Hey - bad imagination is way better then no imagination! Anyway, I just a happen to know how to make an acid solution out of blood, saliva, oxygen, and a bit of alligator scale. Fortunately, I have all four in ready supply, so I mix them, melt the bars, and pick my way around them, contorting my body into the splits and handstands to accomplished this. Your alligators and flamingos are so impressed, that they retire, and run away to play golf in the Bahamas with the rabid gophers from Ireland. I walk up to you, chin held high, chest heaving, and reach out a sweaty hand. You look from my face, frightening in its calm composure, to my bloody hand, trembling with exertion, and cower on the stump, rightfully mine. I uncurl a single accusing finger, and you beg for mercy. I am unrelenting, and reach forward. In a single poke, I unstump your fake highness, claiming it again as mine, while you bow at my feet. I am queen of the stump. 


Goat chick


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

By the way I didn't want that award anyway, and your owls went off to play poker with the dogs, so you don't have very faithful animals. Ooh, would you like some goat kisses, cause you just got BUUUUURNED!


Goat chick


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Any last words?


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

Yes, mine are:

"check out my thread and add your oppinion, the more the merrier!"
http://www.thegoatspot.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173381


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

I already gave my input on the chat thread  And this is a game thread...


----------



## HappyCaliGoats

Little-Bits-N-Pieces said:


> Any last words?


Aww! What a cute dog!


----------



## goatygirl

I claim the stump while you are not looking. I am the queen of the stump


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Doesn't matter if I'm looking or not, I'm not the one on the stump! :lol: He's king of the stump!


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

It was a fake stump with a trapdoor I'm queen of the stump


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

The original stump never had a trapdoor. Call Scotland Yard! We have a. m y s t e r y!


Goat chick


----------



## margaret

I blow up any traces of old stumps or paintings and cut down a new one. Everyone else was scared off by the explosion so I'm Queen.


----------



## Trickyroo

All i have to do is wait till your does get close to kidding and you will run off that stump and i will claim it as my own 
HA !


----------



## margaret

When the babies come I won't care a thing about the stump:lol:


----------



## Trickyroo

My thoughts exactly  But neither will i , i will be waiting for your pictures of cute wittle fuzzy babies


----------



## margaret

And I will make sure to provide plenty of them


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

And I will be over here crying because my does aren't going to kid until April. 


Goat chick


----------



## Trickyroo

gracethegoatgirl said:


> And I will be over here crying because my does aren't going to kid until April.
> 
> Goat chick


Awww , we will have to keep you busy till then , lol&#8230;Im sure we can get a few laughs out of ya


----------



## margaret

gracethegoatgirl said:


> And I will be over here crying because my does aren't going to kid until April.
> 
> Goat chick


Yeah that would be something to cry about.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

My friend's goat kidded recently though, so I'm just like "goat babies! Let me touch them and hold them and smell them!!" So right now my goat baby withdraws are satisfied. 


Goat chick


----------



## goatygirl

Oh my goat is due two months before Kelsie's doe kids, we both kind of get really hordy with our goat kid. Like no you can't touch them you have already touched them once today now that enough. It gets all weird like that but yeah that will be interesting. She is also getting our first buckling this year the exact date that her doe is due to kid so she is going to be busy babysitting the buck and her kids. Oh boy it will be a crazy year for us. especially if we are finally going to be moving.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Heavens to betsy, you sound busy. I'm the same way though. "Excuse you, you only get 60 seconds every day for hands on contact with babies, no, go away. Come on kiddos lets go find some milk". Oh and I sit down to go over kidding supplies and realize it is the forgotten stump. I am queen of the stump. 


Goat chick


----------



## goatygirl

You decide that with my such busy schedule you allow me to sit on the stump and rest. While I rest I create a distraction to make you walk away while you are gone I shred the stump to bits and use the shaving in the goat stalls. I blame it on margaret and you go to chase her down. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## gracethegoatgirl

Margaret! I yell, running madly around in Internet land, searching for the one who did me wrong. But I can't remember what she did. Odd. In my confused ramblings I stumble into a goat stall that has nice wood shavings on the floor. Unknowingly, I am queen of a knob on the stump. 


Goat chick


----------



## milkmaid

The stall gets cleaned out and the shavings + manure is used to mulch a tree. A few years later, after the shavings have decomposed and been taken up by the growing tree, I cut the tree down, and voila! Queen of the stump.


----------



## MoKa-Farms

I sneak up behind goat lady and cryogenically freeze her with my ice-ray and set her to thaw in 8000 years. I nudge her off the stump and jump on triumphantly. I am king of the stump.


----------



## nuk_nuk_that_goat

I grab a bees nest and put it on your head. You run away trying to get it off. I'm the king of the stump. ☺


----------



## WitchHazel

This reminds me of '101 ways to get kicked out of walmart.'

I run to you and shout "I am your father!" You fall off the stump screaming, and I climb on. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

I give you one swift kick that sends you too the moon you get lost in space and I take the stump and hide it in my underground cave


----------



## goatygirl

I find your underground cave and with my noble steed Bugsy who licks you into submission. I find the stump and me and Bugsy ride into the sunset where we are never found again. i am the queen of the stump


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

One day while you are off "into the sunset" you leave the stump to go get food. I take the chance to steal back our stump and when I do you get lost in "the sunset" forever.

I. AM. QUEEN. OF. THE. STUMP.


----------



## Goatzrule

Well the "queen" got over ruled and they handed the stump to the next person in line.....me. its a stump. its mine. it is my stump


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

They decided they're decision was unreasonable and gave the stump back to me.  


Kayla Renee


----------



## COgoatLover25

But then you had to go to the zoo with your friends to see the hippo and you foolishly left the stump under some bushes where I sneakily get rid of the bushes and leave the stump in plain sight...someone steals it and you don't know who ...you must find out for yourself. BTW, it wasn't me or Laura, we're busy eating Skittles


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I found it. It's mine. I'm eating skittles too


Kayla Renee


----------



## Goatzrule

You think you found it but but when you stepped onto it you fell through the floor. I grabbed the stump and am now putting up ransome. 1 million Lindt Truffles


----------



## margaret

But you CAN'T eat skittles and steal stumps at the same time Kayla! So it was actually ME!


----------



## Goatzrule

Hey wheres my Lindt Truffles?!


----------



## COgoatLover25

Virtual Lindt Truffles handed to Goatzrule, she hands me the stump and I throw it into the everlasting pit of doom .

Bwahahahahaha


----------



## Goatzrule

Well I get chocolate so I win with or without the stump


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

When I fell through the floor I landed in the everlasting pit of doom and you threw the stump to me.... Lol thanks!


Kayla Renee


----------



## Goatzrule

you dropped the stump while you were being chased by my attack goats, I am queen of the stump


----------



## goathiker

Hey guys :wave: Now that our murderous child has left the forum you can all go back to maiming each other in creative ways... Have fun.


----------



## Goatzrule

lol this is how we get our aggression out


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

They left?


----------



## goathiker

Nah, the one who just said she would kill so and so and take the stump. She ruined the game for quite awhile.


----------



## Little-Bits-N-Pieces

Anywho.... I catapult thousands of fruits at Kelsie, she has to ninja her way out and while such a glorious distraction is being carried out, I steal the stump. I am now Queen of the Stump :greengrin:

ETA: Oh yes, that one. It escalated quickly with that one...


----------



## Bansil

Thousands of fruits in play? The newbie has this one...countless hours watching my wife play candy crush has upped my game;

I checked the mirror...candy-flage is looking good :shades:, bag of pixi-dust is full:stars: ...Saddle is on Andrious.....I am going in------->
.
.
....weeeeeeee!!!
.
.
.
.
Well...I..er..:GAAH:..we are back...

ugh...well...darn...I don't know what the stump looks like :shrug:




off to google various goat induced stumpoligy pictures...:type:


----------



## Goatzrule

I use my flotation device to sneak behind Bansil and steal the stump. I am queen


----------



## goathiker

Tip toeing very quietly I sneak up behind Kelsie while she is sleeping in this morning. Working quickly, I dump on her 10,000 Lice Of Doom. While she runs off scratching to find extra strength Rid...

I am Queen of The Stump...


----------



## Bansil

mmm...so that was actually the stump?:think:

We hand Goathiker a supersized doublelattetriplechocalatee-exlaxio drink and as she disappears to the ladies room I finally get the Magical stump :clap::clap:

and we stand proud as King and Prince of the stump!!!! :cheers:

we took off and hit 88 mph as we left, to show off our new stump to everybody :stars:


----------



## groovyoldlady

I ride Ditza, the galloping goat, and urge her to top grain chasing speed as we track down Bansil. When he stops at a gas station for a bathroom break I STEAL the stump from his car. (He was in a car, wasn't he?) Then Ditza and I roll it out to the road where my hubby picks me (and Ditza) (AND the stump) up as prearranged when I started reading this excessively long thread. We drive non chalantly ( <--- Dang, How DO you spell that!??) back to our "farm" and proudly set the stump in our goat pen. I, as QUEEN OF THE STUMP, cheerfully hand peanuts out to the goats. Then they all surround me in an outward facing circle, ready to take out anyone who seeks to dethrone me.


----------



## Bansil

After my bathroom break I go out and see Andrious is saddened

"what's wrong little guy?"

"BAYAYAYAAAAYYYY" "DAAADDDAAYYY" "BLAGAHAGHYYYH" "BLAhhhhAGAGYY"

"No way, really?"

"BABABABAAAYYYYAAAAAAYYY!!"

"Some lady thought you were a car?"

"BAABAAGGHHH...UUPPPPY"

"and her and some cute goat shanghai'd you and took off in a truck with the stump?"

"BAAAAAAaa...DAAADDDDYYYY...BAHAHAGHH"

"Here have an Animal cracker and some water; calm down, you did fine"

"BURP"

"we _will_ get the stump back....I have an idea!"


----------



## Goatzrule

Me dressed as superwoman in a flash of light used my handsome bucks to distract your goats and while they are checking out Fire I take the stump and fire back to the batcave where i am renting from batman. I am thee queen of the stump


----------



## goathiker

Bansil said:


> We hand Goathiker a supersized doublelattetriplechocalatee-exlaxio drink


Considering I don't eat/drink chocolate, processed milk, or coffee... I'm not sure I needed the Exlax :ROFL:


----------



## margaret

Murderous child...that wouldn't be me would it?
Don't worry Jill,I no longer murder people. I'll be nice If not you can chase me off.

Kelsie I wrap up a bag of candy as a late Christmas present, sneak up and hand it to you. Unwrapping it you find it's your favorite kind of candy and filled with glee you proceed to stuff your face with candy and wander off in a daze leaving me as Queen of a _very, very_ nice stump.


----------



## goathiker

Nope murder away Margaret... Creatively :lol:


----------



## margaret

Wait, you're telling me I can murder?..oh wait, I didn't see the 'creatively' part:lol:


----------



## groovyoldlady

Being highly desirous of the stump, I grab a BIG OLE bucket of molasses (I've been working out...) and dump it over Margaret's head. All her goats (and a few random deer that were lurking in the woods nearby) swarm her for a sweet feast, knocking her off the stump. I grab it and throw it in the waiting red Honda Element (a very practical vehicle!)and speed off with it to unknown regions in Maine where I can sit on it drinking my bottomless mug of hot chocolate in peace because...

I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP. 

AGAIN!!!

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!


----------



## margaret

I however have put a tracking device on the stump, so I know exactly where to find it. Once I find it all I have to do is sit and wait. You, thinking that no one is around, rush off to the bathroom after drinking your endless cup of hot chocolate for hours. I calmly walk over and take possession of the stump.
Once again I am QUEEN!


----------



## ShireRidgeFarm

My goats are trained secret agents and they have been biding their time, studying the tactics of the many, many stump queens. Then, we see our chance! My does and I sneak away from the farm after sunset, commandeer a helicopter, and we fly it away to find the stump! The 3 highest ranking does - May, Rose, and Lacey - parachute down to the Merry Oaks family farm while everyone is asleep and steal the stump! My herd and I rendezvous back at HQ (the barn), but now the girls cannot decide who, among the 7 of them, will get to be queen of the stump! I attempt to take the throne by bribing them with treats, but that only serves to attract my buck, Pippin! (He had his face in the feed trough when we left and until this moment he had been wandering around wondering where all his pretty girlfriends went.) Pippin, finally finding his girls, runs into the barn and pandemonium ensues, with does running everywhere! Pippin sees the stump and promptly jumps up on top.

Now, Pippin, the big, smelly Nigerian Dwarf buck is king of the stump!


----------



## Goatzrule

While you are standing on the stump the plastic breaks and you fall through the stump. It was fake! HA! And I was on and island watching you guys fight over it through a hidden camera. Stroking the stump and chanting I AM QUEEN I fall asleep on the abandoned island


----------



## groovyoldlady

IT WAS A FAKE????????? 

Alerted to fake decoy stump that Pippin is now lying in the debris of (whoa...bad sentence structure!), I stowaway on a terrifying pirate ship. When the crew finds me (it's hard to hide when one is groovy and wears tie-dye), they threaten to make me walk the plank until I tell them of a great treasure that can be found on a particular abandoned island I have heard of. The pirates know right where the island is (They were the ones who had abandoned it due to the shocking overpopulation of gila monsters that live there) and we head there at full sail.

We arrive there post haste in full gila monster armor only to find that Kelsie is in a tree-top screaming in fear at the hoards of gila monsters clambering below. The pirates grab some gold they had buried there and I grab the REAL treasure, THE STUMP! The main pirate Cap'n Rob (Get it? Cap'n ROB???? that's funny right there!) grabs some totally groovy tie-dyed pirate garb and some awesome hoop earrings and a very intimidating eyepatch and gives them to me in thanks. The crew sets the stump on the deck and enthrones m atop as QUEEN OF THE STUMP. Several pirate guards with sharp swords and lots of other pointy and dangerous looking weapons surround me to protect me.


----------



## Goatzrule

But a tsunami comes in and dark clouds cover the sky, a helicopter comes to my rescue it lands on top of the treasure and breaks it into a million pieces, you and your pirates go running into the jungle and drop the stump and i grab it and as we begin to fly we watch as the tiny island goes up in waves.


----------



## ShireRidgeFarm

Pippin is not too concerned about the fake stump, and he goes off to find something else to sit on. But the herd queen, May, is angry! She wanted to be queen of the stump! May recruits her twin, Rose, and before I can stop them they take off in my 'borrowed' helicopter! They catch up with the stump as the other helicopter takes of into the storm, and a G-rated, Chuck Norris-inspired battle ensues! Suddenly, (plot twist!) the stump falls from the helicopter into the ocean and is swallowed by a giant kraken! 

So, now the kraken is QUEEN (or king?? ) OF THE STUMP! May and Rose fly home, still scheming...


----------



## Goatzrule

but what you dont know is I am the kraken reincarnated.


----------



## Goatzrule

Wouldnt this be an awesome movie?


----------



## groovyoldlady

Goatzrule said:


> Wouldnt this be an awesome movie?


If by "awesome" you mean "totally weird and confusing", then YES. ;-)


----------



## Goatzrule

yes lol


----------



## groovyoldlady

Ok...It took me a while, but I finally went out into the woods near my house (after I recovered from the pirate ship fiasco) to look through the old building debris that is half buried there (Many thanks to the original owners of the house!). After careful searching, I find what I am looking for, a 600 pound chunk of ragged concrete with bits of rebar sticking out.

Now into the garage to sift through this and that. I find a length of extra sturdy, stretchy rubber and an old abandoned children's swing set (It's a BIG garage, OK?).

And I get out the power tools. And build...A GIANT SLINGSHOT!

Bwa-Ha-Ha-ha-HAH-hah-hah-HAAAAAA!

I wait until the evil Kraken flies over my yard (with the stump) to gloat. I pull way. way back on the slingshot and take careful aim with my deadly 600 pound missile (Did I mention that I've been working out?) and...

Whoooooooooooooooooosh! BAM! I hit the Kraken mid flight! There's a rather unexpected explosion! (What the heck was in that concrete besides rebar????)

To my surprise, the smoke clears and I see 2 figures falling from the sky. One is Kelsie and the other is the stump. The Kraken is completely gone!

Kelsie lands in my soft and deep compost heap with a ker-thud and the stump crashes through the roof of my house.

Being the kind hearted soul that I am, I rush to Kelsie to make sure she's alright. But, for some reason, she doesn't seem to trust me. She leaps up and runs into the woods screaming.

Satisfied that she's alright, I quickly fix my roof with the power tools and random stuff from the garage.

I go inside for a snack only to find my 2 daughters, Gretchen and Abigail BOTH sitting on the stump in the middle of our living room doing their biology homework. I try to lure them away with cookies. I try threatening them away with dire predictions of imminent destruction. I swat at them with the flyswatter...but they won't move. Apparently Gretchen and Abigail are now the joint QUEENS OF THE STUMP!


----------



## Bansil

Ding...Dong.... the door bell rings at groovy old lady's house.

A tall man in a trench coat says "I hear you need a set of encyclopedias for home work duty"

--->a clamoring on the roof follows<-----

(into the hidden ear bud Andrious whispers..."daaadddyyyy....ssseeetttt rooof")

I pick up a book "B" and as I explain the benefits of Biology via a book compared to the scary internet

A hissss......and clunk...clatter...thunk!

a smoke grenad loaded with sleeping powder and pixi stick powder bursts in the room from the chimney...."flash"...."BANG...."POOF"

I put my M24 mask on and enter the room, and head for the stump...HAHAHAHA

I grab the stump and head for the door.....THUNK...ugh wonder what that was ......roll...thunk...roll...thunk....skid....QUIET.....THUD

I run outside with the stump and Homey Andrious is snoring in the driveway.....silly goat...curiosity had him looking down the chimney as the smoke escaped....and feel asleep and rolled off the roof

I quickly positioned cookies and milk on the table as well as some change and a chocolate rabbit....trying to pin this on someone else...:bday:

I grab him in one hand and stump in the other and grab the riding lawn mower from the shed and head off into the sunset....next stop will be the drive thru burger veggie joint


----------



## margaret

As I watch Bansil drive off into the sunset a plan begins to hatch in my mind. I head to the burger veggie joint, and I tie up one of the workers and take their uniform.
Bansil pulls up and goes through the drive thru, in a hurry to get out and avoid being seen with the stump. I slip a sleeping pill into Bansil's order and hand it out the drive thru window while casting a suspicious look at the riding mower, the goat and the stump.
I don't have to wait long, I look out the window soon to see a sleeping figure slumped over a lawn mower. I rush out, grab the stump and magically transport myself to a galaxy far far away where no one can find me and I stay there contentedly eating bacon with no worries of troublesome thieves that may try to steal my stump.
I am QUEEN!


----------



## Goatzrule

With a flick of my wand the stump comes falling out of the sky. Hurdling like a coment and on fire it creates a crater in the ground the size of a lake. margaret seeing the stump come running over and so the search party begins for finding the stump.


----------



## groovyoldlady

A search? PERFECT!!! I happen to be a member of Podunk, Maine CERT/SAR (Community Emergency Rescue Team/ Search and Rescue) I have put in literally hours and hours of volunteer training on all sorts of terrains and in all types of weather. I'm a fine-tuned, skilled and very groovy searcher whose pack is always ready to go. I give the mysterious cookies and milk to my girls and stash the chocolate in my pack. I'm ready to go!

I rappel down into the crater and use my amazing skills of observation to avoid Margaret and Kelsey and retrieve the stump.

I find it and hide it under my hunter orange rain poncho.

I climb out of the crater and decide to go to extreme measures. I sweet talk the rangers at Baxter State Park and hike up to the summit of the formidable Mt. Katahdin. I camp out on the top and I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP.

Since I have to stay here to guard and enjoy the precious stump, I send my girls out to track down Bansil. I want my lawn mower back!!!!!!! (I mean, dang, that thing has cruise control!)


----------



## Bansil

*yawn*...mmm...why am laying on the lawn of the vegi burger joint using Andrious as a pillow?

Shaking Andrious...."wake up buddy, we have been hoodwinked" 

"Ddaaaddyyyy...hhugghhhh"

"Ugh...remember when the coyote was always was tricked into stuff?"

"Aashhhhuuu"

"We were the coyote this time"

Twirling his mustache bansil thinks out loud

"Andrious, we need to get an Acme catalog and some train tracks"

"Aaaaahh....ddaadddyyy"

"Yes and some hay"

As we walk towards the mower, i notice it has a bent tierod from hitting the curb, darn

"Since your tired we will walk a spell"

"Wonder what happened to the stump?"

"Oh crap...Andrious hide! Those are the kids we took the stump from"

The kids pull up in a barbie f150 and hook up the mower just like professional repo-ets...dang they are good

"QUICK attach this tracking device to the mower"

Andrious pulls out his sling shot and twang...wooshh....clink

"Great shot buddy, lets get out of here"

"Back to the goat cave Jeeves"....

"Bbaaghhaaaa....blahhyyy....aaahhh...dddaaasdddyyy"

"Andrious, i know it's corny but i have always wanted to say that"

"Aahhhaaahhhhhaaahhh" "Burp"

"Dude really? Lets roll"


----------



## Goatzrule

ME with my magical wand makes the stump grow legs. The stump stands up walking like a newborn kid and wanders off into the woods, and stumbles into a field of stumps. I being magical, removes his legs and watch as grooveyoldlady goes searching for him.


----------



## groovyoldlady

Groovy is laughing too hard at Bansil and his little sidekick to search yet, but soon she will come up with a brilliant anti-magic plan (Drat that Kelsie!!!) and be back for the stump....


----------



## Goatzrule

and i am sitting on the pile of stumps with a bag of popcorn


----------



## groovyoldlady

PILE??? Of StumpSSSS????


ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!:hair:


----------



## Goatzrule

May the odds be ever in your favor


----------



## CrazyDogLady

This calls for a pack of highly trained search dogs. They may be geriatric and arthritic, but they're eager to search once they're told that the stump is actually a jar of peanut butter disguised as a stump. The pack quickly finds the correct stump and the occupant is dislodged by frenzied dogs trying to open the stump without opposable thumbs. We take off with the stump, the dogs have forgotten all about any peanut butter by the bag of diced hot dogs in my pocket (peanut butter?? Why'd we think there was peanut butter? . . . Hot Dogs, WOW!! What were we talking about again? And, I'm Queen of the Stump!


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I come up behind her and shove her off the stump for I'm the queen of the stump


----------



## CrazyDogLady

I send a teensy gray haired chihuahua who has had peanut butter and hot dogs out after the stump. I watch as he sneaks up to the stump, and see anyone within smelling distance frantically covering their noses as the eye watering stench reaches them. Everyone in the vicinity is quickly knocked unconscious by the little gasbag, who joins me and we run off with the stump. And I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

i just got a cute little pygmy goatie






who loves peaNut butter!! he tracked dOwn the little chihuahua and bit it'S Tail sending the dog rUnning off into the distance with you following. as new ruler of the stuMP my goatie and ibanish you to the neighboring meadow Full Of spideRs and thorns. But to be nice there is a house for Y'all... made OUt of candy.  i'm queen of the stump.


----------



## Bansil

BANSIL'S LOG, STARDATE 93636.43

Pingggg...whirlyyy...Pingggg...whirlyyyy....Pingggg

The crew of the Mbuzi Gari (swahili for goat wagon) is busy scanning the planet below for signs of life(....ugh....actually they are looking for the Magical stump, OPSEC and all *wink*)

"ddaadddyyy, bblaaghhhh, bblaaghhh"

I jump startled..."What is it Anrious?"

"Blagh..burp...haghhhaay"

"Dude, peanut butter and hotdog gas??? what in the field are you talking about?"

"blapththt, gahhhhaaa bleaghhhh putheeyy!!!"

"Okay, yes that was very scientific sounding there "doctor Andrious", now what does that have to do with business at hand?"

I lean back in my chair on the upper deck and face palm myself as the story begins

"blagghhhh gllleeeppp <snip> (20 minutes later) daaaddddyyy blaghhh"

"Ah, so you found the stump via the thermal image from the hotdog gas, cool, and we should target the area with the invisible glitter gun so anything in the area will be invisibly glittery"

(Yes my eyebrow is raised as I ponder a boring life with out a super hero goat by my side)

"blaghhyy Daadddayyyy"

"I am taking this serious, it makes complete sense, when the stump and aintgotnocreekranch leave the area we can track them using your invisible glitter viewing goggles"

"prepare to unleash the glitter"

"Blaghhyyy" (identified)

"fire"

buzzzzzz snnappple crack hummmmmmm BOOM

"glllunmgpy" (target)

"dadddyyyaa blaghheyy" (now we wait)

PING.....PING...BLEEEP

"yes I see them...to the landing pod"

clop,clop,clop...CLANK!!!

I close the heavy door as Andrious starts flipping switches, he looks at me "Blaghhblaghhh!!!"

"crap wait"

too late, I hear the hiss and clank as the pod is released and we drop towards the surface

"dude, you should of let me buckle up first"

"Dadyyyyy Blahhhhhaa baaahhhhh" (hold onto my horns)

I opened the pod door and glanced around, Andrious headbutts me and points->

I pulled out my trusty freeze gun and *****ZAP*****

they all freeze, Andrious lays out a blanket and puts a jar of peanut butter and a hot latte and bagel out

I snatch the stump and we head back towards the landing pod, Andrious unfreezes everyone and they are distracted by the snacks

Feels good to be King again...ahahahahaha


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

I am Queen of the stump. 
Why, you say? 
Because I'm the one, true ruler of the stump.


----------



## Goatzrule

You're missing one thing......the stump


----------



## groovyoldlady

And that would be because I STOLE THE STUMP. AGAIN. 

:laugh: HAH!!! :laugh:

And I have hidden it in a dark cold place where you will never find it. And I shall sit there in the cold and dark on my stumpy throne in triumph because I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!

(A slightly deranged queen :crazy: , but queen nonetheless.)


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

Well i installed a tracking device and found the stump and claimed it as mine I'm the queen of the stump...


----------



## groovyoldlady

In a furious snit I grab the aintgotnocreekranch person by his/her/its thieving throat and throttle him/her/it. Take THAT you ranch , you! And I will take the stump and leap into a volcano (extinct, of course). Stumpy and I make our way to the center of the earth. There we tickle the innards of the volcano and it laughs so hard that lava spews out of its various noses, sealing all exits and entrances.

Groovy is the QUEEN of the stump of grooviness. Safe in the caverns of security deep in the bowels of the earth.


----------



## goatygirl

The stump realizes that you all can not control it and remembers that I am its master. Stumpy fights his way away from groovyoldlady and comes to me! It one and only master.


----------



## groovyoldlady

Groovy will come up with a snappy come back just as soon as she climbs out of the volcano....


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

Too late groovy. Im back!! I sent a tracking goat after the stump and I found the stump! I claimed the stump and left a decoy at the sight of the old stump. I took the stump home and im the QUEEN OF THE STUMP. THE END.


----------



## Bansil

Hahahahaha...aintgotnocreek, you are mistaken :wahoo:

"andrious?"

"hello"

"dude for real?"

"we ain't got no time for that"

"We will be back....mark my words....we will...be....Andriousssssss:stop:

<sizzle...snap...crackle....buzzzzzzzzz>


----------



## Bansil

Well, that was interesting

Here is some back story...sorry folks...

okay so while we where orbiting the earth looking for the stump

Andrious decided that he was bored, so I "magic keystroked" and had him hooked up with unlimited netficks and early 90's satelite tv

cool right?

well...ugh...remember the six million dollar man? the whole build him stronger, faster etc?

remember the Matrix thing?

Dawn of the dead zombie thing?

okay, it was fine and dandy that he liked the old shows

I actually caught him watching the old black and white Frankenstien movie

What harm could come of that you ask yourself; well to start with, it's a goat thing and we as humans...do not...errr...will not ever understand it period.

SO after the blue beam, goat alien thing...ugh...err...has that happened yet?

Andrious thought that he could run 88 mph and go back in time so he could get grain before all the additives etc

Well after about 1/2 hr of training/trying he decided that excessive excersise is bad for you...ugh..him and he said James Dean had a Porsche spyder to travel in.

I found him an old pinto (hey he said he needed to have an old car to go back into the future with and I couldn't find a Gremlin, everyone of my age remembers either a

Gremlin or a Pinto..am I right?)

So he goes online and orders a bunch of stuff and stuffs it into the pinto, cool, except it wouldnt start because he used wonder womens plane engine (I actually think

he lost it since its invisible and didnt have the glitter crap on it )

so we decided to..."ddaadddayyy blaaaghhhgyy!!"

"Andrious, I am sorry"

"I won't tell anymore secrets and stuff...sheesh"

Okay... I forgot we were talking about the whole <electrical ozone burning zappy noises> oops

So "someone" decided to get a microscope and some tube thingies and ...well...make an alien goat!

I know everyone is saying, it can't be done or Sigourney Weaver already got rid of it

WELL if you dig into old archives you see that the date 1952 is a bogus alien crash site...well it's bogus in the fact is was not the first one

Again "someone"....

"dude hush this is still my story"

"someone" may have ...ugh..accidently...never mind thats another story

So Andrious decides while cruising the ozone layer to make an "Alien Goat" to track the stump....

1950 was the year!! yes 2 years before he....NVM

So while tracking the stumps movements recently...Andrious got a drone delivered package from Amazon.....Jumper cables...yes...jumper cables...

I will report back later after we ...."yes, WE"

clean up the mess


----------



## groovyoldlady

Bansil said:


> Hahahahaha...aintgotnocreek, you are mistaken :wahoo:
> 
> "andrious?"
> 
> "hello"
> 
> "dude for real?"
> 
> "we ain't got no time for that"
> 
> "We will be back....mark my words....we will...be....Andriousssssss:stop:
> 
> <sizzle...snap...crackle....buzzzzzzzzz>


I have absolutely no idea what any of that means, but I am totally intrigued!:whatgoat:


----------



## Bansil

My boss came into my office as i started the last post...had to end it quick:hug:
:greengrin:

And setup next phase of retreviousesofstumpus:flag:


----------



## CrazyDogLady

The stump expels the tracking device after realizing a chance existed where it could live being hopped upon by four adorable baby goaty girls. We didn't even have to retrieve it, the stump came to us, overwhelmed by the adorableness of quadruplet ND doelings. Stump also hid itself (except to the babies, of course). Good luck dragging a happy stump out of here now, Stump loves living here, with the rightful Queen of the Stump.


----------



## Bansil

Crazydoglady needed a goat sitter for the new quads so she could go out and

buy more _dog_ food

With glasses and a fake nose Andrious gets on GB (goat book) and messages

her with the services he can provide as an experienced "goatee-iuor"

She agrees and when he shows up, she grab's her purse and says "see you

later cute little kids" and drives off to the store

Andrious sit's with the kid's and explains to them where mom went and why

he is there

He tells them that she had to leave them all alone, by their lonesome so she could buy food for "the other ones"

The little ones blleeeppp,gllgeyyy and realize "she has never left to get food for them"

They are in shock, Andrious gives them Cheerios to comfort them, and they give him the stump as a thank you

We are now throwing a party with our reacquired stump arty:arty:arty:


----------



## Goatzrule

I using my invisibility powers i go a kidnap the kids and stump. Giving them the much yummier and less healthy treats of marshmallows keeps them quiet as their clone stands their looking quite ill. And off I go...queen once again


----------



## goatygirl

I command my highly trained cavalry of toddlers on highly adorable wethers to force you to surrender out of there sheer cuteness. While you are busy loving on the toddlers on goats I retrieve the stump with my magic wand. I hide the stump where no one will find it. I am now the queen.


----------



## groovyoldlady

Now I have spent several years in training for search and rescue. (I believe I have mentioned this before.) So I get out my always ready backpack (AGAIN! Sheesh!) and put my impeccable search skills to use. 

Aha! There it is! I have found the stump! 

I lay it on a travois, cover it with a sheet and drag it away. Everyone thinks I'm trudging away with an injured hiker, but it's actually the stump. I bring it home (AGAIN!!) and put it in the junk drawer. No one can ever find ANYTHING in there! For added security, I enable the booby trap. Open that drawer and you'll be hurtin'!!!!!!!!

It is safely out of sight (and out of mind - or is that me?) and I am Queen of the Stump-in-the-junk-drawer.


----------



## CrazyDogLady

First things first, I retrieve my babies from Goatzrule, passing on a message from Mama Cookie (which I can't repeat here). We head home for a strategy session.


----------



## Goatzrule

I take my giant lasso and swoop the stump and mount my trusty steed and ride away, geesh you guys that was too easy...like stealing candy from a baby


----------



## Goatzrule

And I am queen of the stump


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

But while you are riding away your "steed" turns into a butterfly and leaves you... And while your in shock I take the stump and replace it with a large jar of honey. I'm queen of the stump.


----------



## Bansil

As the snow melts away and the sun shines longer each day; my hair turns more gray as I go over Andrious's Amazon account

"Andrious get in here"

"Blaggply?"

"what's up with a 40 gig-O-watt lazer?"

"Plo, mggmbblyy...Thhatthhyy"

"it's for trimming hoofs?"

"blaghyy"

"ugh..the 3d printer?"

"Mmybghd, ppsssttt...blAHH"

"replacement parts for the jumper cables??"

"What are you doing?"

Andrious points at the Pintos dash at a sticker that says "get in, sit down and shut up"

I climb into the Pinto and put my seat belt on

"why do I need a seat belt? it doesn't r....."

CLICK>>>>>Vroom!!...clackity!..clack!!..Vroommmm...pst...

"Blaghla blagla...BURP....blaggly...."

"okay so it runs...how? there isn't an engine?"

"Blumppiuiy gooopp" :stars:

"Ah!!!!! wonder woman gave you a new engine and sprinkled it with pixi dust before you took it out, smart move"

He pushes a button on the dash and an LED counter starts counting down backwards

"ugh, is that a _good _thing?"

"blooppspppyyy" :doh: click, flip, click

ANd now it is just random numbers flashing

"where we going?"

"bnhjjgm, injghj SGDH 30th, 1941"

"Buffalo, NY April 30th 1941?, are we going to save America from WWII? heck yeah!!"

"chsdfbsahdfj..sdjjhb.bblagyyh"

"Wwwhat??? We are buying stock the morning of May 1st 1941 in..ugh..IN CheeriOats??"

"ERERRRrr Andrious!" :GAAH:

Click, [air noises] [squeeling tires] "AGHHHHH...the garage doors!"

:shock:

"Cra.......p"

Lights are flashing, the pinto is shaking to pieces and the hum from the glass box thing is loud, I hold on as Andrious sticks an 8 track tape into the dash and hits play....

*"click"*

_Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around
Since I was born
And now it's all right, it's OK
And you may look the other way
We can try to understand.....
.
.
.
.
.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive_
..
.

The lights slow as the song tapers off....

"Bluoiogggyyy, clkccopp" (we're here)

the doors open....

"ugh...dude...why is the sky green" :roll:

"BLUG?" "bayayayaaaBuuy"

..................................


----------



## AintGotNoCreekRanch

Umm...


----------



## Goatzrule

Im speechless


----------



## glndg

Umm? And speechless? There's no time to waste! Bansil is in a Ford Pinto so you need to rear end it and it will burst into flames! (Just a hint since you are too young to know that!) :laugh:


----------



## Bansil

Well after looking at the star charts and flipping switches, Andrious decides I obviously messed this up by sitting on the invisible engine control computer???

"Andrious I didn't feel anything sitting down!!!"

"blaggll, bugght"

"Dude, invisible means you can't SEE it not feel it, ugh Goats"

"Maybe tapping on the dash to disco music wasn't the best thing to do there, Ol' Great Horned one"

"BUUURRP"

"PING.....PING...."

"Andrious!! the Stump detector is going off!!"

"BLLKJJHggyyy, bgggffhjj"

"Let's go!"

I throw the saddle on his back as he grabs the halter "CHOMP"

"DDddaaddyyy...gggoooooo"

Swoooshhhh>>>>> 10 seconds later we are cruising at 100 feet and alsmost 250 mph

"Andrious, faster"

"i jdjjka ....sdiiiiiyyyy"

"If you shaved off the "all body Afro", you would be more aerodynamic"

"Look there it is!"

"Boollgggyy???"

"yeah it is purple and blue, I am not sure that is our stump"

"???"

"we must be in a parallel universe, if we take that Stump for our Kingdom...bad things may happen"

"LKIKL...KJHGBBBLLYG!!!"

"yes, like no CheeriOats being invented"

"BBBABABABABAAAAAAaaaann"

"don't cry, turn around and head back to the Pinto, and figure this out!!"


----------



## NDKing

I trip the queen of the stump and she hits her head. While she is unconscious I stand on the stump and encase myself in diamond. I am king of the stump.


----------



## NDKing

I trip the queen and while she's unconscious I stand on the stump and encase myself with diamond. I am king of the stump.


----------



## NDKing

Sorry, I am new to thegoatspot and I was trying to post on page 3.


----------



## goathiker

Everyone quit playing last year so I am queen of the stump.


----------



## groovyoldlady

I didn't quit. I was stealthily hiding behind a nearby tree with Ditza the diva. She is incensed that Goathiker is on the stump and............P*O*W*!!!!!!! Goathiker goes flying into the next county and Ditza is queen of the stump.


----------



## goathiker

Bored with watching the seemingly empty stump while groovy gets dinner Ditza lays down in the sun and falls into an impenetrable sleep. I sneak up to her and catch her in a net.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

But you forgot all about the stump, which I had taken away while you caught Ditza in a net.


----------



## goathiker

Quickly hauling her to the nearest veal farm I sell her into slavery as a normal milk goat. 
Returning a different way while groovy tries to track her down. ..
I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## goathiker

Oops lol


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Well, I am still queen of the stump lol


----------



## Goatzrule

using my superpowers i make a duplicate of the stump and watch you guys try to figure out which ones real


----------



## CaprineCrazyGirl

Out walking with my Buck Gimli (aka, buck got out of the fence so I am trying to catch him:ROFL, We stumble upon the stumpS. Gimli Quickly jumps up on one and claims it as his throne. While I scramble atop the other stump.
And so begins our (hopefully long) Reign of the StumpS.

Sincerely, Queen of Stump #2


----------



## groovyoldlady

Groovy searches high and low. Where the heck is Ditza?

The other goats are partying happily without their jerk of a queen on hand, but Groovy's daughter misses her.

Ah, there she is...at that veal farm over there! Groovy has never been on a veal farm. It looks...yummy! She considers trading Ditza for veal but her daughter protests. We barter to get Ditza back and head for the stump.

What's this? 2 stumps? With Suzanne hugging one and Kelsie jumping up and down on the other.

What to do? Groovy knows. She gets out her disco ball and puts on her Bee-Gees album. Lured by the thumping rhythms and dulcet falsetto singing, Suzanne and Kelsie fallow the disco ball as they get their boogie on. Groovy takes the real stump and Ditza eats the other one (that veal farmer fed her none too well!).

I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!!


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Once out of sight, I quickly turn around and come back by another route, regaining the stump via a swift surprise attack. I then hurry off (with the stump in tow) in my helicopter leaving Groovy and Ditza stranded on the ground in the middle of nowhere. 

I am now Queen Of The Stump Number (approximately) 720.


----------



## CaprineCrazyGirl

[So this morning, apparently Groovy went to post a long post while I quickly posted...]

But what REALLY happened was:
I forgot I had my "Phantom mode" on; Groovy could go right through me and not even see me... So, after having my kingdom ripped from my grasp, I consoled myself over a hamburger. THAT is when I discovered my mistake!

Picking myself up from my self pity, I hatch a plan to reinstate my reign.
But While Returning to the stump, I see A helicopter taking off quickly, with MY stump in tow!!!

I try to follow the chopper as best I can, losing sight of it several times. Until; at last, it lands!
Turning my Phantom mode on -This time on purpose, I approach Suzanne's goat pens and Let out ALL HER GOATS:laugh:, She quickly hops off the stump and runs toward her feed storage!

...In all the confusion, I nonchalantly hop up onto the stump.

And NOW I AM QUEEN Of This STUMP!

...My first act as the queen is to thank Ditza for Curing my buck of his wandering days. After seeing her eat that whole stump, He high-tailed it back into his pen! Gimli is terrified of the world outside of the fence!:leap:


----------



## catharina

Caprine Crazy Girl is fast, but I'm faster. Thinking quickly, I run into Suzanne's barn & grab all the cutest kids. When Caprine Crazy sees them romping & playing, she squeals deliriously & runs to cuddle them up. I claim the stump as my rightful...stump.


----------



## margaret

I let catharina have the stump a nice long while. Once she is satisfied that no one else is going to try and take it, she becomes quite comfortable with her position as queen.
She starts stealing glances over towards Caprine Crazy Girl and all the adorable baby goats. The cuteness soon becomes too much for her to handle. She looks around, doesn't see anyone and sneaks off as fast as she can to try and grab a baby goat. 
As soon as she's gone I jump onto the stump, claiming my rightful title as Queen of the Stump


----------



## catharina

Oh no, I fell into my own trap!!!:sigh: But eventually you have to go potty. With great will power, I tear myself from the baby goats (well, most of them--I bring an armful with me) & reclaim my rightful stump!!! I am the best Queen of the Stump ever, because I have baby goats!!!!


----------



## goathiker

As Catharina falls to sleep among her baby goats, I sneak up behind and attach a cable.
Ever so slowly I reel in the winch, one click at a time.


----------



## goathiker

The stump ever so quietly starts slipping back while she sighs and cuddles closer to the kids. 
Soon it's free to be loaded in my truck and put back in the National Forest.


----------



## goathiker

I reclaim the stump and send fines to everyone who participated in stealing and keeping it because 
I am queen of the stump.


----------



## catharina

The forest Rangers spot Goat Hiker going off the road in her truck. While they arrest her for driving over the last known patch of the critically endangered Pink Spotted Forest Orchid, I use a team of huge, highly trained bucks to haul the stump out of her truck (as it's being confiscated for evidence) & drag it to a very secret location where I, Catharina, will reign in peace as Queen of the Stump, surrounded by guard bucks & snuggled by goat kids, eating all the chocolate I want.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

I haul a ton of poplar and honeysuckle leaves to where Catharina is sitting on the stump. The bucks are aware of me before Catharina, so the run off. Catharina follows them to see what's going on, and I take a different route to the stump and reclaim my rightful place


----------



## catharina

In all the commotion, Suzanne's poor baby goat kids scatter & get lost. She hears their tiny pitiful cries....one sounds like he's hurt. Being the kind hearted person that she is, she selflessly runs to their rescue, leaving me free to reclaim my rightful throne as Queen of the stump.


----------



## CrazyDogLady

Seeing as Catherina is susceptible to baby animals, I bring adorable fluffy Great Pyrenees puppies, who approach her with their fumbling cuteness and gangly legs. Once close enough, they attack with their tiny needle teeth, dragging her off the stump which I rightfully claim. I am, after all, Queen of the Stump.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

It is an impossible task to keep her puppies fed from the stump where Kristen is currently residing. She runs off to feed the puppies, and I steal the stump and run away with it. 

I am now Queen Of The Stump.


----------



## CrazyDogLady

I tell the puppies if they find the stump, goats milk for all! Before you can say slurp, they've tracked it down. We artfully trip Suzanne (clumsy puppies are helpful), grab the stump and run home with it.

I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## catharina

I secretly follow Crazy Dog Lady to her home in Arizona. Looking in the living room window, I see her sitting on the stump watching TV. It's a hot day there in the desert though! I bribe an ice cream truck driver to cruise slowly down Crazy Goat Lady's street, playing its cheerful tunes. She hears the ice cream truck's music & runs to her window. The ice cream man (who just happens to be very handsome) enticingly waves an ice cream bar at her from the truck's window, & slows down...she can't resist!! She runs out of the house to buy ice creams for herself & all her animals! With all her pets, that takes a long time--plenty of time for me to sneak in the back door & drag the stump off into the desert sunset, where I again proclaim myself to be the true Queen of the Stump!


----------



## catharina

Wow, I must be the best Queen of the Stump ever! No one dares to challenge me! I may proclaim myself Empress of the Stump! I am invincible!!!! I have ruled for 2 days & I will rule forever! Long live the Queen! Catharina the Great!


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Cathrina has a huge banquet because of her victory, forgetting all about the stump. I take it away and am never seen again. I am Queen Of The Stump.


----------



## CrazyDogLady

Mmm, ice cream. Mama Carina decides her precious doeling Fatty (a nickname, well deserved) must have the stump to play on. What Sunshine wants, Sunshine must have. Carina goes in search of the stump. She approaches Suzanne and incapacitates her quickly. Her secret weapon? Rumen burps. Suzanne is knocked out cold. Carina brings the stump home, and all the kids commence hopping and playing on it.

I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## CaprineCrazyGirl

I calmly walk up to the stump and hand you THIS:









And, This:









You read them and your face turns white. Quicker than lightning you get off the stump and Run away!

I reclaim my property, and now I am Queen of the Stump!

[The first document reads: "Title Deed
This is to Certify that
CaprineCrazyGirl owns The Stump, The one and only stump. The Whole Stump, and nothing BUT the Stump.
Signed: Joe Bloe From Down the Road."]
[Document Two: "Eviction Notice:
You are hereby ordered to vacate the stump immediately, if you do not vacate pronto, You will be outlawed from owning Does (female goats), You will also be banned from adga, ags, mdga, etc. etc."]


----------



## CrazyDogLady

I send my goats over who quickly eat your paperwork, and grab my stump and leave.

I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Your goats get stomachaches from eating all the paperwork, so while you are off treating them I take the stump and regain my rightful place as Queen Of The Stump.


----------



## catharina

Bye.


----------



## catharina

I reclaim my throne & settle in with a big supply of chocolate & Snapple.
I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Catharina thinks she is quite safe with her monster spider protecting her, but lucky for me, I am not scared of spiders. Totally unsuspecting, Catharina has fallen asleep in a hammock next to the stump (stumps are really uncomfortable for sleeping on). I take the stump and sneak away with it, leaving Catharina dreaming happily.

I am Queen Of The Stump.


----------



## catharina

Suzanne doesn't know I installed a tracking device on the stump. When I wake up I know exactly where to find her & MY stump. There she is, perched smugly on MY stump, eating my chocolate & drinking my Snapple!!! But after a few bottles of Snapple, she has to go potty. I grab my stump back & put it in my minivan, lock the doors & drive away. I am the only true Queen of the Stump.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

I am AMAZING at picking the locks on minivans. Catharina must stop for food at some point, so I follow her in my smart car and wait for the perfect time to pounce. When Catharina stops for food, I break into her minivan, take the tracking device out of it and install it in a fake stump, lock the minivan, and drive off with the true stump. On return from getting food, Catharina sees that her van is still locked and the tracking device is still where she put it. She drives on in blissful ignorance. 

I am Queen Of The Stump.


----------



## catharina

No, I saw everything through the store window. I follow Suzanne's smart car at a safe distance. She doesn't see me & goes home. In the middle of the night I break into her car & switch the stumps (making sure to remove the tracking device from the fake stump) re-lock her car & take my stump to a safe location where I can rule in peace & splendor as the true Queen of the Stump. I dig a huge moat around my stump & fill it with ill tempered mutated sea bass.


----------



## catharina

I am the queen of the stump! Bow down, all you knaves!


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

I made a remote that connects to the tracking device in the stump, so the Catharina's location is easy to find. 

I build a high bridge across the moat and proceed to cross in safety.

Catharina is engaged in a celebration of her (until now) successful reign as Queen Of The Stump. I sneak away with the stump.

I am Queen Of The Stump.


----------



## catharina

Just as Suzanne steps off the bridge I see her with my stump. I jump on my motorcycle, zoom across the bridge & snatch it from her hands as I whiz past her.
I take it back to my island & set her bridge on fire. Then I place the stump in some fast setting concrete so it has a nice solid base that weighs several hundred pounds. I have a beautiful canopy over the stump. I sit down on it & have some lunch. I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## catharina

Nobody can get across my treacherous moat to steal my stump! I am the best & smartest Queen of the Stump ever. I even have a small helicopter to go & get more food for me, my goats, & my mutant sea bass. I will reign happily ever after!
:fireworks:


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Catharina gets bored after reigning for 6 months and walks away to feed her goats.

I am queen of the stump


----------



## goathiker

Suzanne starts itching uncontrollably from her mutant bass bites. She dives into the grass and starts rolling around. 
I sneak up behind and cover her with plantain ointment. Once the itching is gone she's limp as a sausage. 
I am queen of the stump!


----------



## groovyoldlady

I walk up to goathiker with my poor, half bald, fungus infected Ditza. Ditza starts rubbing enthusiastically on goathiker; She's SO ITCHY! (Ditza, not goathiker). She looks so pathetic! (Again, Ditza, not goat hiker)

Goathiker feels immense sympathy for my poor miserable goat and goes off to make some sort of amazing all natural remedy for her bald, scabby itchiness. 

I am the groovy queen of the stump. Heh-heh-heh...


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Ditza wanders off after goathiker. After quite some time, Groovy wonders what in the world has become of her beloved Ditza. 

She abandons the stump and goes in search of Ditza. 

I come out from my hiding in the tall grass. 

I am queen of the stump.


----------



## catharina

I bring a truckload of lambs, baby bunnies & goat kids & release them all around the island where the stump remains embedded in concrete. Suzanne tries to resist the cuteness but eventually loses control & wades across my mutant sea bass infested moat to come pet the baby animals. I use my helicopter to return to my island & reclaim my rightful throne.


----------



## groovyoldlady

Groovy (with her endless supply of electricity) patiently aims her blow dryer on that bizarre moat. After a few hours (days, years) the moat more or less dries up and the creepy mutants die. Groovy sneaks up behind Catharina and wrestles her to the ground. After an epic battle involving way too much moat mud, Catharina is tied to the back of a crazed zebra and sent running off to distant lands. (Don't worry, Groovy packed food for Cat on the zebra).

GROOVY is queen of the stump.


----------



## catharina

Luckily the slimy moat mud allows me to slide out of the ropes tying me to the zebra. I make a bridle from the ropes & ride the zebra back to my island to avenge the deaths of my beloved ill tempered mutant sea basses, & the violent attack on my person by Groovy. I find her snoozing on the stump. Whipping out several rolls of duct tape, I immobilize her before she can even wake up. I put her on the zebra & off they go. I refill my moat & import bloodthirsty piranhas to repopulate it. I am queen of the stump.


----------



## groovyoldlady

"Mmmmf...grrrrrrf...Tvvvvvvvvvvvvvvwwww...MMMmmmmmmGRRrrm!"

Translation: "Revenge shall be mine as soon as I figure out how to get out this stupid duct tape!"


----------



## CrazyDogLady

Huh? Is that a woman duct taped to a zebra?? 

Anywho, I drop a few pounds of bloody hamburger into the moat. When the piranhas are appropriately preoccupied, I sneak across. Catherina is over looking at her fish in their feeding frenzy. I grab my stump and run off to my secret desert hideaway.

Kris is Queen of the Stump!! Woo hoo!


----------



## catharina

How did you get the stump out of the concrete I poured around it? I think you grabbed the wrong stump, CrazyDogLady! So I am still Queen of the Stump. Thanks for feeding my piranhas though!


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

While Catharina is making her island a bit more habitable, she forgets about the stump because of how secure it is. 

I pour my special concrete-softening fluid on the concrete, pry the stump off, replace it with a fake stump, and run. With the stump in tow of course. 

I take it to a place where no one will find it and rule in peace. 

I am Queen of the Stump.


----------



## groovyoldlady

What Suzanne does not know is that Groovy had escaped from the duct taped zebra fiasco (and dang, her tushy hurts from the ride and her skin is super sore from ripping off that duct tape and Groovy is WAY CRANKY!!). 

After a bath and a meal, Groovy grabbed her binoculars and snuck back to the stump just in time to see Suzanne trick Catharina and steal away with the real stump. Groovy giggled gleefully and used her magical groovy teleporter to follow Suzanne to her secret place. 

NOT SO SECRET NOW!!! BWA_HA_HA_HA!

Groovy waits until Suzanne falls asleep in peace and security. Groovy slips in unnoticed, draws a mustache on Suzanne's face and grabs the real stump. She replaces it with a fake stump so Suzanne will never know what happened.

Groovy teleports to a tiny village at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. She employs a large herd of very protective elephants with large tusks to stand guard while she enjoys a nice cuppa tea on the stump.

Aaaaaah, Groovy is Queen of the Stump!


----------



## CrazyDogLady

Kris kicks the stupid wrong stump. Dang wrong stump! 

She finds her way to Tanzania, and buys herself a pretty tanzanite ring. Purple, and pretty!

The elephants tear into the delicious bark on the wrong stump. Groovy has drifted off after her nice tea. Kris grabs the stump, making sure to grab the right one and brings it back to the desert.

Kris puts the stump in her pasture in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by her dozen dogs who are sure to wake her if they smell or see a stranger.

Kris is once again the rightful Queen of the Stump!


----------



## catharina

I sneak into Kris' pasture & release a few dozen cats & squirrels. After her dogs rush off in all directions I sneak up on Kris, napping by the stump & covered in soothing bag balm. She is so exhausted from her zebra ordeal & jet lag from international travel that she barely stirs when I sneak off with my rightful stump. 

I have a boat waiting at the nearest river, & I head downstream & out to sea. I lock the stump in a safe deep down in the hull of my fast boat & head for a secret tropical paradise, from where I shall reign in comfort & splendor. I, Catharina, am the true Queen of the Stump!


----------



## catharina

Life on my Royal Yacht is delightful, & nobody saw me sail away with the stump. I have a lifetime supply of dark chocolate covered apricots & pineapple-coconut juice. My body guard (who looks like Daryl from the Walking Dead but a lot cleaner) will protect me & my stump as we sail off into sunset after glorious sunset. I am Queen of the Stump!


----------



## Goatzrule

All of you guys got tired of holding the stump and walked off to get something to eat so I came along and took the stump


----------



## catharina

How did you get past my handsome body guard & break into my safe? I think you got the wrong stump!


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

I knock the body guard on the head, crack the code on the safe, and rush off with the correct stump while Catharina is busy laughing at goatzrule.


----------



## goat girls

If it's okay i'm gonna jump in on this and while the body-guard is down and the code cracked.While Catharina is busy laughing at goatzrule (still) I'm gonna tempt Suzanne with some Alpines and go get the stump


----------



## catharina

Oh no--you guys are so clever!! Good thing I was towing a high speed submarine behind my yacht! I take off in hot on the tail of the Goat Girls. I torpedo their ship, grab the stump & toss then some inflatable life rafts & a few weeks' supply of chocolate. (Just to show I'm not entirely heartless) Then I head back to my boat with my stump & continue on to my secret island paradise. You will never get the stump from my volcano cave lair where it is enshrined, surrounded by a moat of glowing hot lava!!


----------



## goat girls

boy thanks for the chocolate for the stump i'm gonna swing in like Tarzan and snatch the stump from the lava and then .....


----------



## catharina

& then you fall into my booby trapped pit! I grab the stump & hide it in a very secret place. Have some more chocolate while you figure out how to get out of the 10 foot deep pit!


----------



## goat girls

catharina said:


> & then you fall into my booby trapped pit! I grab the stump & hide it in a very secret place. Have some more chocolate while you figure out how to get out of the 10 foot deep pit!


Then I play Gru from despicable me 2 until I find a way in to your (el macho's) lair


----------



## catharina

Ha! I have lured the Minions to my side with cute baby goats to pet! You will never succeed!!


----------



## catharina

Nothing can overcome the power of baby goat cuteness!!


----------



## goat girls

Maybe I'll hire Dru altough you only have half the minions (I have babies to)


----------



## goat girls




----------



## catharina

Ooh--bringing out the heavy artillary! That is some serious cuteness there!


----------



## goat girls

I have 3/4 of the minions now


----------



## catharina

Nope--we had twins on christmas!


----------



## catharina

& this guy is ready to protect us from all the forces of Evil!


----------



## goat girls

I think Chasers readier


----------



## catharina

Hmmm....Sam is bigger, & he has laser eyes! Look out!!!


----------



## goat girls

Okay after getting all the minions I scream "does lots of them" that takes care of your security then I ....(how do you make a volcano explode) make the volcano explode hire george of the jungle to grab the stump he brings it to me
I'M QUEEN OF THE STUMP


----------



## goat girls

the minions are for later


----------



## goat girls

so f0igured out what the minions are for now that the stump is mine while ya'll are sleep'in I go home hide the stump and go to sleep with my kitten no one knows where in new mexico I live


----------



## goat girls

the minions are for security and they surround the house


----------



## catharina

:update:Good thing I put a tracking device on that stump long ago!  I pick all the bananas on what's LEFT of my beautiful tropical island,  & fly to New Mexico with my share of the Minions. They invite your Minions to a reunion banana party back at our hotel :welcomeback:& I grab the stump. I am the ONLY rightful Queen of the Stump!!! & no more chocolate for you!!!


----------



## goat girls

so I get lots of bananas from the store kidnap the minions to a island witch they decide to throw a party on, throw a bunch of San Clementes in a clearing after a while you decide to go get them (they are not friendly) so while your training the random collie puppy to heard them I take the tracking device of the stump sneak away with it and all the chocolate


----------



## goat girls

:update: :update: :update:
That makes me QUEEN OF THE STUMP


----------



## catharina

Not the chocolate!!! Alright the gloves are off!!


----------



## catharina

Instead I train the collie puppy to follow the scent of chocolate. While you are busy partying with the Minions I grab the stump & take off with my new herd of San Clementes (thank you for those--they were not so wild & love treats.)


----------



## catharina

Finally back home with my stump, I lock the doors & catch up on some TV shows while the collie & my other dog Julie keep watch.


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

I pick the locks, give each puppy a chicken leg all to itself, cut the tracking device off the stump, and sneak away. 

I am queen of the stump. :7up:


----------



## catharina

You don't get far though! Sam sets his laser eyes on "stun" & I retrieve my stump before you even know what hit you!


----------



## goat girls

I give Sam a pen full of Lamancha Does while your busy getting them away I gram the stump and sneak away with the minions take my six dog that are immune to the scent of meat and hide on my secret island 
I'm queen of the stump


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

Well, your dogs aren't immune to the taste of meat. I toss a bunch of bananas and chicken down from my helicopter. You rush off to see what is up with the dogs and minions. I make a swift landing, grab the stump, and retreat. 

I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goat girls

I have set a bomb on or helicopter to blow in 5 minutes you make a emergency landing when you here a ticking noise you land get out and hide I grab the stump .......... 10 seconds later you have no helicopter
I am queen of the stump


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

You throw a party for your minions because you are so happy to have regained the stump. I am still hiding in the bushes, watching. A stump is no seat for a queen, so you conduct the building of a great throne while I grab the stump and run. 

I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goat girls

you are not faster than my race horses I wiz by grab the stump and race off (it will take you awhile to get to KY)


----------



## goat girls

I am queen of the stump


----------



## catharina

Not for long!! I have my drone track you as I follow along in my minivan. I arrive in Kentucky in the middle of the night & watch your house from my minivan. As soon as you get up & leave I break in & grab the stump. Driving away in my minivan, I decide to see what Louisiana is like. I decide to explore the bayous and set off in my new boat. I toss ************** in the water from time to time so that my boat is constantly surrounded by the huge reptiles. The stump is stored safely below deck--mixed in with 5 or 6 nearly identical decoy stumps! I am Queen of the Stump!!


----------



## goat girls

I hope we hired someone to feed the goats..... I bring a boat, some hunting dogs to deter the crocs and then swim under the boat open the hatch as your boat is flooding I sneak in grab the stump that has a goat girls detector on it, it start beeping when it detects me I grab it and swim away while you are swimming to shore I stick the stump in a hole and bury it in concrete I sit and laugh at you trying to get it out 
I am Queen of the stump


----------



## goat girls

Can nobody get the stump from me? I can't be that good!


----------



## Suzanne_Tyler

You have been sitting around for so long that the dirt has blown away, the concrete has broken and cracked, and the dogs have wandered off. 

You forget about the stump and go home, because it's no fun ruling when no one is trying to steal your throne. 

I walk up and take the stump. 

I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goat girls

so the waiting was part of your plan. I follow you back to your house, you decided to take the goats on a walk, you start to take the stump but realize it would be very hard to manage the stump and 3 goats, not knowing that I'm watching you slide it under your bed and leave. I wait a while to make sure you're gone I slip in and take the stump. 
I am queen of the stump.


----------



## goatygirl8

All is fine goat girls until I see you steel the stump with my super x-ray vision. I then alert my army of fuzzy attack Nigerians to distract you with cute fluffy kids as I remove the stump from you and hide in a pit full of snakes. I am the queen of the stump.


----------



## goat girls

My cat brings A LOT of mice to the doors in the middle of the night, I take all those mice and give them to the snakes, they are distracted as are you with new baby goats. I slip in and grab the stump.
I am queen of the stump!


----------



## Old Post Farm

i bring a dog who chases the cats away, i take the stump hide it up a hollow tree with attack hawks lurking above to attack any one who tried to claim it.
I am queen of the stump!


----------



## goat girls

I give the hawks ferrets (thinking of Buckbeak in Harry Potter) to play with they are very distracted, by the time the hawk come back to the tree I am flying away in a helicopter.
I am queen of the stump!


----------



## groovyoldlady

Wow...you folks are all in, aren't you? C'mon...it's JUST A STUMP!

(Groovy feigns disinterest in the stupid stump as she plots her takeover.)

Groovy uses her mad roping skills (learned by repeatedly roping a rocking horse for a birthday party) to snag the helicopter as it flies past. She ties the other end of the rope to a big ole granite rock and the chopper goes down. Groovy runs to the helicopter with her first-responder backpack. She helps goat girls (Is goat girls one girl, or two? TGS says she/they is/ are a well known member/members)

"Here Goat Girls. Lemme give this shot that will make you sleep for a week!" 

Kind Groovy leaves food and water for the helpless GG. Greedy (and smart) Groovy grabs the stump and hikes off into the northern woods of Maine where the stump will feel totally at home with all the other stumps that the loggers have left behind.

Groovy is queen of ALL the stumps!!!!!!! Mine! They are mine! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!


----------



## goat girls

And I'm the one that goes over the top! Thanks for the food! Groovy is on her way to Maine when I wake up and she suddenly remembers that her goats are a home alone, she put the stump down in the forest. I swoop down Tarzan style and take the stump.
I am queen of the stump!


----------



## Old Post Farm

i am lurking in the bushes in a nearby forest and use my forest/stump cam to see where goat girls is going, then as she goes into her house i have her arrested on charges of robbery, the police hand the stump to me. when i get home i grind the stump into wood chips and bring the chips in my secret room with lazars, cameras, and guard animals of all kinds. i am hiding some of the stump in my pocket too so you will never get the whole stump.
I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


----------



## MamaJenDSP

OPF—

- I shop-vac all the ground up stump chips from around your home and pockets. I then put them together Monsters Inc style. I am now ultimate queen of the stump.


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## groovyoldlady

Groovy sneaks up On Old Post Farm dressed in her finest anti-laser attire and covered with her amazing invisibility cloak. She stealthily slides a small hose in through one of the windows then pumps in a powerful sleeping gas. Once Old Post and all the guard animals are snoozing, she uses her vacuum to suck up all the wood chips - even the one in Old Post's pockets. 

Laughing gleefully, Groovy escapes to reassemble the stump with instant drying industrial strength wood glue. The stump looks good as new and it is now twice as strong! Groovy deserts her snowmobile and carries the stump south into the steamy jungles of Venezuela. Immediately after she enters the country, the government bans entry from any one else from out of the country!

Groovy is QUEEN OF THE STUMP!


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## groovyoldlady

Oh no...Now 2 of have all the pieces!!!??????

Groovy calls the CDA and has MamaJen detoxed while she (Groovy) completes her run to the jungles of South America.

Groovy is still Queen of the stump!!!!!


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## MamaJenDSP

I enter Venezuela in the spy style of 007. Shimmy down a rope, disassemble the stump, place it in a backpack &fly away to an undisclosed location. I then reassemble it climb up and I am again queen of the stump


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## goat girls

Sorry guys, Fancy decided that the humans can no longer rule the stump.








Not for long says Harley!








Harley is now queen of the stump.


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## Old Post Farm

can't fight a goat for a stump
Harley is still queen of the stump


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## goat girls

I feed the goats there dinner witch distracts Harley and take the stump.
I am queen of the stump!


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## Old Post Farm

i release a bear near goat girls house to distract her run up grab the stump hide it in my fire wood area where i have other stumps that are used as a surface to cut the logs i use the stump as a cutting surface so it blends in. i put a hologram of a distressed goat kidding to distract goat girls even more.
I am queen of the stump


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## goat girls

Really!? A bear!? I have to worry about those enough already!
I had a tracking device on the stump, You have to go pick up Fiona from the breeders, when you leave I run up grab the stump and leave.
I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP! (no more bears!)


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## Old Post Farm

Fiona already came back from the breeders, so that was a diversion because when i went away i set up another hologram of the road going into the woods. i have a trained owl that grabbed the stump and flew to me i use a shrinking potion on the stump put it in my pocket and put on a gas mask and i am wearing invisible armor so no darts or shots either 
I am queen of the stump


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## goat girls

You are mean!
Soooooo it's a good thing (not for you) that I am good friends with Hermione who teaches me a reversing spell witch I use on the shrinked stump, it is now full sized again. You are to busy looking at the hole in your pocket that the stump made when it got resized, I grab the stump and run of.


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## Suzanne_Tyler

Goat girls goes to water the goats after they eat. I carry the stump off in the mean time. 

I am queen of the stump.


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## goat girls

I filled the water bucket while they were eating so me and Suzanne are playing tug-a-war with the stump.


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## Suzanne_Tyler

I run and get the bucket of water, dump it all over goat girls.



She rushes into her house for a towel. I run away with the stump.

I am queen of the stump.


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## Amber89

While you was trying to run away I put a harmless snake in your escape path..its strikes at you while you are checking for bite marks I grab the stump and climb into my tree house guarded my Gorillias?? Lol

I am queen of the stump!!


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## Pack Goat Girl

Okay so know that I'm back we gotta get this going again, its fun!
Okay,
I run into the.house grab the bunch of banana's the gorillas are drawn away to likey fight over them. I climb into the tree house grabbing the stump from Amber89 who is distracted from the gorillas running way, run down the tree, climb into my goat cart and rive away. 
I am queen of the stump!


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## Nigerian dwarf goat

i get in a tree next to the stump. i jump off the tree on to pack goat girl knocking her off the stump! I AM QUEEN OF THE STUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Pack Goat Girl

Well as it turns out when you jumped of the stump and landed on me you hurt your ankle, going into the house to get a bandage you forget about the stump. I get out of my cart get the stump,climb back in the cart and drive off. I am queen of the stump!!!!:run:


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## Nigerian dwarf goat

I grow a new tree, (letting the goats snack on it a little)cut it down and get on it! I am queen of the stump!


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## Pack Goat Girl

The stump that i am sitting on is copyrighted so your stump is invalid-queen of the stump.


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## Nigerian dwarf goat

I lassoed the stump off your Cart and now I'm standing on it watching you driving away cluelessly
I am queen of the stump!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Pack Goat Girl

Pack Goat Girl said:


> The stump that i am sitting on is copyrighted so your stump is invalid-queen of the stump.


Key word *SITTING ON THE STUMP*-yours truly still QUEEN.OF THE STUMP.


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## CottonwoodBoerGoats

This is very late but this needs to start up again!

I cut the stump Into boards and built a spool, I got it patented, and got the trademarks all straight. *I *am legally bound to the ownership of the spool. I am the queen of Spool. Ha!


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## Tanya

What is a spool?


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## CottonwoodBoerGoats

Tanya said:


> What is a spool?


One of those wooden platforms that people let their goats play On


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## Tanya

Aaaaahhhhh. We use those for human tables. Goats not allowed.


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## Tanya

And human tables for goats. No hoooommmmaaaannnssss allowed. :heehee:


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