# Is there a rendy this year?



## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

I have been out of the loop for a while. Sorry. 

We had invited my wife's parents to retire here so we could care for them in their old age. Mom died eight years ago and we moved in with dad for his last days, then have been busy with all the stuff that comes after.

The guys who came from the mortuary reminded us of the two characters that stole the puppies in 101 Dominicans. I wasn't wearing my glasses but I never could figure out where the monks were. If they weren't in vespers I bet they would have helped find the puppies. I wasn't anxious to see the movie. I thought to myself, "I just finished chasing the JW's and Mormons off my porch, why would I want to hear the Catholics?"

They had souvenir calendars at the mortuary for people of all faiths. Remembering the movie, I picked up the Catholic one. One of the picture foldouts was devoted to Frances of Sales. They apparently have saints for everything include Sales... I guess he blesses the 'bait and switch'.

My wife still wants to make arrangements for my funeral. She wants to keep it simple... she just wants to plan the date.

We have four years until our daughter graduates from HS, then maybe we can move to Alaska, though now that they have outlawed goats there, only outlaws have goats. We'd have to pack them in a shipment of drugs to smuggle them across the border. Dave could come with is in case we run across bears ;-)

But I was thinking that it was about time for Rex to warm up the Jeffers Band... I actually did pick up a banjo... so I'm ready for you to show me how to work it, Rex. My wife is anxious to hear us play "Far Away". Now this post will get lots of hits from the NSA and Homeland security, I mentioned a terrorist weapon... the banjo.

One of my daughters friends was over while I was playing the accordion. She asked if she could take it home for a while. I said I would be glad to loan it to her so she could learn to play. She said she didn't want to learn to play but that my daughter wanted it out of the house.

I haven't finished my bid for the Presidency yet. My campaign consists of a series of cardboard signs that I hold on the street corner. 
"Will be president for food."
"Obama, I'd trade jobs with you, but you'd screw up my cardboard sign"
"Throw the bum out"
"I'm more qualifed... people have seen my real birth certificate"
"Repeal the War Powers Act as unconstitutional"

I had to throw in the last one just to add some humor.

I work for a company that builds the cameras that Google uses to take the street view pictures. We're now building the backpack version. They want to film trails for street view, and maybe some celestial objects that you can't see from the city. So if you see a guy walking around the back country with a multi-camera ball over his head, you might want to show him a moon. If it wasn't bad enough that they wanted to record our conversations over the air, where there aren't any wires, now they want to record the wilderness where there aren't any conversations. Perhaps we'll finally find out ..."when a tree falls in the forest when no one is there to hear it, does anyone clap with one hand?"

My boss came to me a week ago and asked me if he could fire me. I told him I'd think about it. I said that I had so little authority around there that I might just quit. I am still working but I did put out my resume. 

I'd like a job where I don't have to actually do anything. Rex, how did you find that job of yours? ;-)

I am getting too old to look for work anymore. I tried doing some lawn art, and had some minor success. I took some stuff from the garage and piled it artistically on the lawn and named it "Free Stuff", it got stolen pretty quickly. My second piece was called "Junk" and they stole it too. "Take me"and more "More stuff" didn't last long either.

As a kid I wanted to be a garbage man or a preacher, figuring they only had to work one day a week. I have been thinking about applying for a job as a greeter at Wallmart... but I think I would prefer an American job. 

If there is a rendy I need to make plans early. We still need to get to S. Cal to see G'ma Jones, she was almost like a mother to me. 

** Disclaimer: My wife requires that I put a disclaimer in any post that mentions her since the veracity of the statements may be in question. Apparently she thinks I am qualified for the Presidency.


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

As we're planning the summer, we are in the process of buying a house.

I need $100,000 more in cash.

I will borrow $200,000 the rate is 4% for 30 years

I will pay $98,000 to buy points to bring the interest rate down to -45% where the monthly payment will be zero for 30 years.

I owe nothing to the mortgage company.

I pay the owner the $100,000 cash that I need and get title to the house since I owe the mortgage company nothing.

This gives me a balance of $2,000 so I will pay you $2000 to do the deal.

If you need more than that, I'll borrow $300,000


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

I was signing and dating papers last night but couldn't remember what the date was, then I remembered the weather report saying that we'd be stuck in the sixties for a few days. 

I thought "I'm hip with that. In fact, it's kinda groovey." So I dated it 6-4-64.


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## Rex (Nov 30, 2008)

We should re-name this Post "Bobs ramblings"......lol Then you can just keep a running dialog on here of what ever comes into your head. 

Uh, on second though, never mind that.....lol


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

Well, I'm just kinda bumping the rendy awareness for you. I don't know if I can come because there is so much else going on, but as long as there is internet service I could come to the rendy and still work.

My daughter competed for one of thirty positions in a violin camp with Instructors for master classes from Juliard and Manhattan School of Music. Because she is not an adult, one of her parents has to stay with her at the camp.


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## TDG-Farms (Jul 12, 2013)

... the offer is very tempting but I thinks I smell something fishy.


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

Well, I had to get a leaky tire fixed. While I was there I thought that they should serve donuts made in a silicone mold so they looked like tires. The icing could be made to look like white walls and they could serve coffee that looked like oil. 

I must have been hungry.

Our offer on a house was accepted, so now we have to wait for the bank to approve a short sale. The neighbor has a goat that I think is just a weed eater. 

There's another house on the corner that has three or four goats with their horses.

My wife says that I am potentially more scary to our neighbors than the goats. 

Disclaimer....


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

My wife commented on the fact that I ate a whole bag of potato chips in one sitting. I defended myself by pointing out that the weekend before, we had 8 or 10 people over and they all did the same thing... they ate a bag of potato chips in one sitting. 

So when she went to Costco she got a box of those little lunch bags of potato chips, which has just exacerbated the presumed problem. Today I ate ten bags of potato chips in one sitting.

Disclaimer....


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## 75johndeere (Jun 11, 2011)

Bob Jones said:


> Well, I'm just kinda bumping the rendy awareness for you. I don't know if I can come because there is so much else going on, but as long as there is internet service I could come to the rendy and still work.
> 
> My daughter competed for one of thirty positions in a violin camp with Instructors for master classes from Juliard and Manhattan School of Music. Because she is not an adult, one of her parents has to stay with her at the camp.


Cell service at buck creek is spotty at best and thats if you have Verizon


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

It continues to be a crazy year. Selling three properties, buying one. 

My wife is actually begging me to run for president. I have been letting my hair grow so I look like a bum when I hold up my cardboard signs. And since I told her I was growing it for my presidential campaign she can't wait for me to begin my run.

We were up in the Uintas last month and bumped into a guy with nine goats. His name is Witte. I forgot his first name. He had bells on all of them so you could hear them coming.

I had a 53 foot trailer dropped in my driveway so we could start packing. 

We went to the "Dam Bluegrass Festival" out by the big pile of rocks that forms a lake behind it. Hannah learned to play some Bluegrass. I told them that I had bought a banjo and they invited me to join them. When I said that I didn't know how to play, they said that it didn't matter on the banjo.

Hannah attended a violin camp with Instructors from Julliard and Manhattan School of Music. When it was over I was talking with the guy from Julliard and mentioned how difficult it was to make a living with music. I suggested that next year they have a class on panhandling. 

The baby rabbits from the Spring are all about 8 pounds each. That means they should each be able to carry about 2 pounds. I'm not sure what a proper conformation should be for rabbits, so we have bred for size. Both parents are about 16 pounds each. So far they are quite adept at squeezing out of harnesses, so we'll have to try the bridle.


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## Bob Jones (Aug 21, 2009)

Newest update... Don't you hate it when someone names something "newest" or "latest". Invariably within a week there is a new version which is newer or later.

I have started putting dates in the name of files like 2012-10-03. 

2012-10-03 Update. 

We had hoped to sell three properties and buy one. We were working with several realtors. I am convinced that realtors are just lawyers who failed the bar exam. (Except those realtors that have pack goats, of course). The one we used to sell the first property was telling us that it was a buyer's market at the same time that the one we were using to buy a house was telling us that it was a seller's market.

The one we used to try and sell two properties together teamed up with the buyer to delay a closing until a week before we closed on the purchased property. They then came through with an offer 50% of their original offer, thinking we would be in a bind in the purchase closing. Fortunately we had qualified for the purchase without having to depend upon the sale of the other. I thought to myself something nasty to tell them what they should do to the horses they rode in on, and I'm not sure, but I may have said it out loud.

We are now in contract to sell them to someone else at a better price than their original offer. We should be closing in a couple weeks.

Meanwhile, we rented a 53' semi to move our stuff. The driver said our 1500 sq ft home should only require about 12-16 linear feet of the trailer. Filling it to within a foot of the ceiling, he was quite surprised to see that we had filled the trailer and still had more to go. Moving stuff from the house to the trailer was a bit like the Banana man on Captain Kangaroo who kept pulling more and more stuff out of his oversized pockets.

We have all the major stuff moved in at the new place. Since there is white carpeting except in the kitchen and dining room, I'm not allowed to bring animals in the house anymore. Not that I would have ever done that intentionally before, but Pig snuck in a couple times when I was working with the back door open. We have all the animals moved except the chicken. One neighbor has horses and another has goats. So hopefully we won't have to wrestle with the city any more. We're in West Jordan now, which is much more friendly to animals than South Salt Lake. 

I have been shopping for hay. 1/2 ton bales are half the price of small bales. But I don't think I can move one of those around. I am tempted to get one and just chain it to the fence or something while I drive out from under it. Then just throw a tarp over it where it lays.

The boys have torn down the temporary fence three times. The last time they also set the Flemish Giants free. It was almost like a scene from Free Willy, except it was goats and rabbits rather than a whale, and there wasn't as much water.

I don't have a swing for Larry yet, so he has been a bit more unruly with the others. He used to use the tire swing more than my human kids did.

I still have my salaried job, and am working from home with the idea that I get used to it, and go on contract at some point.

Hannah's school has an auction every year to raise funds for school stuff. This year I offered to carry 100 pounds of camping gear on a weekend trip. I figure it's a good excuse to go camping somewhere. 

As it turns out, at the new house, the neighbor on one side is a friend of a friend, and on the other side, is a friend of another friend. I haven't figured out if the good Lord thinks I need closer supervision, or a greater buffer between me and normal society.

Oh, and I have been asked to write a new commentary on the whole Bible. They are looking for funding to hire me full time. The project includes a dictionary on the hieroglyphic nature of Hebrew letters, sub-roots and roots, a dictionary of Hebrew puns, a graphical index to the hidden pictures of Christ within the Old Testament, a word by word unpacking of the sensus plenior, and a systematic theology based on the other stuff. I suggested that it was a bit much for a single author, so we'll see where it goes.


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## idahonancy (Dec 13, 2008)

Your email makes me tired just reading about it. Congrats on the new property and new neighbor friends.


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